“Could we leave my balls out of this, sir.” He covers his crotch.

  “You aren’t sticking around, so there’s no reason for you to be in the barn.”

  “We’re staying. I’m going to remodel 102 and start my company.”

  “Bullshit! If you plan on staying on this property, you’ll work for me. No freeloaders live here.”

  “Fine! I’ll help train the horses.”

  “You’ll muck the fucking stalls, that’s what you’ll do.” He walks over and picks up the shovel.

  “I know good and well you have hired hands that do it. Why wouldn’t you use me where my talent lies?” Why’s it okay for the men in this family to curse, but I’m supposed to “talk like a lady”? Momma’s voice still blares in my ears.

  “Talent!” he huffs. “Have you even touched a horse since you ran away?”

  “Well, no.”

  “Then it’s yet to be seen that you have any talent left in you.” His face is angrier than a hornet in a Coke can.

  I bravely step up next to him, yanking the shovel from his hand. “I’ll muck the stalls, but in my spare time, I want to train the horses.”

  He brushes by me. “Fine by me, but you’ll have to convince Boone to let you anywhere near his prized Thoroughbred. I don’t think he’ll let you within ten feet of him, much less his horses.”

  “Huh! We’ll see about that!” I know he’s probably right, but I don’t want to give him the satisfaction of giving in so easily.

  “Oh, he was being sarcastic, right? I have balls.” Ethan looks at his crotch.

  “Ethan!” I yell and press my hand to my temple. “Yes, he was being sarcastic. Now can we get the stalls cleaned out.”

  “There was no we when you volunteered to clean the stalls. I’ll help you rebuild the little shit shack, and clean up the yard around it, but I…let me repeat…I am not cleaning up horse shit.” He storms out of the stable.

  “No, but you’ll be walking yourself back to the cottage!” I holler after him. Not a great comeback, I know. Daddy has me so flustered I can’t even think of anything saucy to say.

  “I can give your boyfriend a ride back,” Bear says as he strides into the stables.

  “He’s not my boyfriend, and it won’t kill him to walk.” I scoop up a pile of straw with the muck, cursing under my breath.

  “You might want to change out of that fancy blouse of yours before you start cleaning up.” He leans against one of the stalls.

  “You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?” I wipe the sweat that’s formed on my brow.

  “Who do you think was the black sheep while you were gone? Me!” He pushes off the gate. “It will be nice for our father to have someone else to abuse for a change.”

  “Thanks for that. Thanks for wanting it to be me,” I say sarcastically and realize I sound like my father.

  “Look, Sis. You know he’ll come around sooner or later. Your real issue is going to be facing Boone.” He glances at his watch. “And if you want to have time to get cleaned up before dinner, you better get to work.” He walks over to a hook on the wall and takes down a dingy t-shirt, tossing it to me. “You might want to put this on.” He starts whistling a happy tune and walks out of the stable.

  “First thing I need to do is buy me a pair of work boots,” I mutter to myself, digging the shovel into the manure and tossing it into a wheel barrel. “For fuck's sake, how did I go from being a respected person in the military to digging up horse shit?” Because you deserve it for the things you’ve done, the voice inside my head says.

  “That’s not true. Yes, leaving Boone at the altar with no explanation was not my finest hour, yet I don’t regret anything but hurting him, and my family. I found out who I was and what I was made of by joining the army. I’m glad I didn’t get married so young.”

  “Who are you talking to?” Ellie, who came in without me hearing her over my self-banter, laughs and leans on a sawhorse that has a plaid wool blanket draped over it.

  I put down the shovel and walk over to her. “Nobody. I just had a run-in with Daddy.”

  “Did you expect anything less?” She brushes a lock of hair out of my face.

  “I envisioned my family taking me back with open arms. Isn’t that what families are supposed to do?”

  “You’re a Calhoun. Really, that’s what you thought would happen?” She snickers.

  “He never let me explain. He took Boone’s side.”

  “The man was broken-hearted, left at the altar.”

  “He’s my father.” I prop a hand on my hip.

  “Look, I know the reasons why you left, but you still deserted all of us. It wasn’t only Boone. Daddy was pissed.”

  “I know, I know, you’re right. I have to atone for my sins, as Momma would say.” I can’t go back to confessional. I was banned when I was caught being a little naughty in the booth. Back then, I had no control over my body. It wasn’t my fault that the priest looked like a god that fell from heaven. I was a horny teenage girl. What did they expect?

  “You’ve been here what, a minute? I think you’re expecting too much.” She stands. “Now tell me about Ethan. You two aren’t together, are you?”

  “No. Why?”

  “He looks like that type guy I could have some fun with.” She wiggles her eyebrows.

  “What do you mean fun?”

  “You know…a little roll in the hay.”

  My mouth gapes. “Oh, my gawd, I can’t believe you said that!”

  “Don’t play all innocent with me. I know your dirty mind. God, the things you used to say. What other fun things do you think there is to do around this place anyway?” She snorts and heads for the door.

  “I don’t talk like that anymore,” I shout after her. I didn’t say I didn’t think them. I’m left standing by myself, wondering what all I’ve missed. I hear my mom’s voice coming from outside. I recognize her singing. Only two times I recall her singing. One was at bedtime to help me fall asleep when I was a young girl. The other was when she’d be feeding the chickens.

  I walk to the opposite end of the barn from where I came in and go out the small narrow door that leads to the chicken castle. Dad and Bear built it for her. It’s a two-story chicken pen made from an old oak tree that needed to be taken down. Daddy sanded, and Bear painted on the protective coating. Its barn red with white accents.

  As I walk closer, a chicken preens as it makes a fluttery ruffling noise with its feathers. Momma stops singing to see what spooked the chicken.

  She puts down the bucket of feed and hugs me. “I know your daddy was rough on you, but I’m glad you're home.”

  “Me too, Momma.”

  She steps back and laughs. “Girl, you’re a mess. Supper is soon. You might want to get cleaned up, and not come in smelling like horse manure.”

  “Do you think you could sneak me in the house to get a shower?”

  “You bet I can. Your daddy has a whiskey in his office with Boone, and Wyatt before dinner. You come to the screen door in the back, and I’ll let you inside.”

  “That would be awesome. I better go finish up in the stables.” I turn to walk away and stop. “What about Bear?”

  “What about Bear?” She throws seed to the chickens.

  “You said he has a drink with Boone and Wyatt?”

  “Bear and Chet don’t get along well enough to drink together. He thinks Bear has too many silly notions to be part of his circle. Bear joins me in the kitchen for a glass of wine. I love listening to all his ideas.” She smiles like she’s been getting away with something.

  Bear’s right; he has been the black sheep. I stand tall and walk back into the barn. “I’ll be the black sheep, so he doesn’t have to be,” I whisper to myself.

  I’m thankful that Boone didn’t bring his horse back before I finished up. I need to face him, but knee-deep in horse shit is not how I want it to be. I have no grand ideas for the two of us. He’s obviously over me, and I’ve grown up. I’ve had my libido under control for years now. I’m sure he’s as gorgeous as ever, but I’m not led by my desires anymore. I’ve learned to leash that baby in. Hopping in Lizzy, I head back to the shack. Ethan isn’t in his tent nor inside. Before I go change, I open up my laptop and make notes on what all I need to order to fix this place up. I connect with my hotspot from my phone and order a pair of work boots and overalls to be express delivered.

  I’ll have to get up early and work in the stables before anyone else is up. Then I’ll be able to put in a few hours of work around here. I know Boone’s routine, if it hasn’t changed, is to train the horses late in the afternoon. I’ll have to put off starting my company until this place is whipped into shape.

  I grab a change of clothes and some makeup to take with me. I’m nervous about seeing Boone but more worried about what he thinks of me.

  “Clem, you in here?” Ethan comes barreling through the door.

  “Yeah. Where have you been?”

  He gives a cheeky smile. “I’ll never tell.”

  “Didn’t I tell you to keep your bits away from my sister?” I place my hand on my hip.

  “Your sister is a grown woman and can make her own choices.”

  I raise my palm to him. “I don’t want to hear it. I’m going to get a shower.”

  “The hot water in the shower out back doesn’t work. I froze my balls off.”

  “Maybe that’s where you left them,” I say under my breath. “I’m going to the main house for a shower. I’ll meet you there at six.”

  “I might pass on dinner and order something in.”

  “Please, I need you there. I could really use the support.”

  “Okay, but if your dad pulls out any weapons, I’m out of there.”

  “If you want, I’ll drive back and get you.”

  “I think I can get a ride.” He’s all smiles again.

  I drive Lizzy up to the barn and park behind it. I don’t want them to see me pull up to the house or hear the god-awful noise that Lizzy makes. I feel like a teenager sneaking out of the house all those times I did with Boone. Whoever thought I’d be sneaking in the house at nearly thirty years old.

  I place my hand lightly against the screen door and push my face close to it, looking inside. “Momma,” I whisper.

  She wipes her hands on her apron then unlatches the screen door. “They just went into the office.” Her voice is low. “Use the back stairs.”

  I run up them, knowing they’ll creak. I strip out of my clothes and climb in the stream of the warm water. I take extra time making sure to get all the manure smells off me. I towel dry my long hair and brush it out. Swiping on a thin layer of makeup, I apply a little peach color to my cheeks and gloss to my lips.

  My floral silky sundress rests off one shoulder, and my navy sandals match perfectly with the colors in the dress. I fish-braid my hair in the direction of my bare shoulder and lay it flat against it. Dressing like a woman is one thing I missed in the military. I love getting all dolled up in a dress. It’s one of the few times I feel pretty. Lord knows around here jeans and boots are much more practical. Sunday church was about the only time I got to wear a dress and act like the lady my momma wanted me to be. Other than the times I’d sneak out with Boone.

  Smacking my lips together one last time, I stuff my dirty clothes in a bag and think momentarily about burning them rather than washing them. I tiptoe down the stairs and hear a child’s voice. Momma and Bear are tipping their wineglasses together. There’s a little girl with long pigtails and freckles on the bridge of her nose, standing on a stool, eating a cookie.

  “Peanut butter cookies are my favorite.” She takes a big bite, and crumbs fall on the counter.

  I watch for a minute, taking it all in. Bear’s black curls are damp at his neck along with the end of his beard. His deep green eyes match the color of the girls, and I swear she has the same lopsided grin as him.

  “All clean?” Momma asks when she sees my gaze glued to the little girl.

  Bear steps over and takes my hand. “I’d like you to meet, Missy, my daughter.”

  I look at her then back at him. “You have a daughter?”

  Missy holds her hand out. “It’s nice to meet you.”

  “This is your aunt Clem.” Bear smiles at her.

  “Aunt Clem,” she repeats in the sweetest voice.

  “It’s nice to meet you too.” I shake her hand.

  “Daddy says he’s glad you’re finally home.” She resumes eating her cookie.

  I pull him out of earshot. “You have a daughter? Why didn’t Ellie tell me?”

  He shrugs one shoulder. “Maybe she didn’t think it was her place to tell you everything around here.”

  “How old is she?”

  “Six.”

  “You’re married?”

  “Was. She left right after Missy was born.”

  “Left? What do you mean left?”

  “I would think of all people, you’d understand the meaning.” He half chuckles.

  I swat him in the arm. “Tell me what happened.”

  “She was a girl I met in a bar. We got drunk one night, and she got pregnant. When she told me she was having my baby, we got hitched.” He says it all very quietly so Missy won’t hear him.

  “Then what happened?”

  “She liked her drugs more than she liked being a momma or a wife, so she left.”

  I turn to look at her sweet face. “And you’ve raised her on your own?”

  “For the most part, yeah. Mom helped a lot when she was a baby.”

  “She lives with you?”

  “Where else would she live?” He laughs. “I drop her off at school in the morning, come here, get my job done, then to work at the shop. The guys there adore her, so she hangs out in the garage with me after school. I have to admit, it is a lot easier now that she’s in kindergarten.”

  I hug him. “I’m sorry I’ve missed out on being here for you and getting to know her.”

  “You’re here now.”

  “How is Daddy with her?”

  “She has him wrapped around her sweet little finger.”

  Daddy and Boone’s voice coming down the hall breaks the moment between us.

  Chapter Five

  Clem

  “There’s my princess.” Daddy’s usual deep gruff voice is soft. Missy turns around and jumps into his arms. His gaze lands on me as he kisses the top of her head. Those eyes that were adoring his granddaughter only milliseconds ago have formed deep creases around them, and his eye daggers are much more painful than mine.

  “Grandpa! I’ve missed you.” She squeezes his neck.

  Boone is looking over his shoulder when he walks into the kitchen. He damn near runs into the bar top when his head swings in my direction.

  “Clem, I heard you were back in town.” He draws out my name. He turns to my dad. “Why didn’t you tell me she was coming for dinner?” It sounds like his voice came from low in his throat.

  “I was hoping she wouldn’t show up,” my dad hisses.

  “Grandpa, you don’t like Aunt Clem?” Missy tilts her nose in the air.

  Bear intervenes. “Let’s go get you washed up for dinner.” He takes her out of my dad’s arms.

  All the while, I’ve stood staring at Boone. I want to say something, but the words are frozen in my throat. The guy standing on the other side of the island bar is no longer the young man I remember. Holy freaking smokes he’s hot! Like GQ for sexy cowboys hot! I’m totally screwed. I press my thighs together to stop the low hum. I’ve been around hot, sweaty, horny men everywhere I’ve been stationed, and none of them caused my body to ache with a need that’s burning in my belly.

  His black hair is styled short all over with a beard that’s trimmed close to his face. And that mustache. Jiminy Cricket, it makes his mouth look lustful. Not to mention his eyes that look like rain on a stormy day. A storm my suddenly famished libido wants to be blown away by.

  “Boo…Boone.” A stammer leaps nervously in my throat.

  I watch as his jaw flexes a few times His brows merge into a savage line with not a hint of a smile. His hand raises into a fist and lightly taps the countertop a few times. “I’ll be back in a few.” He gazes down, then glances back up at me with his lips in a flat line. He walks out, and I’ve yet to say anything other than his name.

  “Well played,” my dad says sarcastically with a grin that turns to a smirk.

  Ethan’s knock on the screen door has my mom opening it for him and welcoming him inside. He joins me at the island. I must have a dazed expression. “What did I miss?” Ethan says, looking between me and my dad.

  “Your girlfriend shows up for dinner and is suddenly at a loss for words when she sees her ex-fiancée.” Daddy has sparks blazing in his eyes.

  “That’s enough.” Momma steps up beside me. “You act like she’s not your daughter.”

  “The daughter that I raised wouldn’t have turned her back on her family,” he all but growls.

  I’m shocked when Momma stands up to him. “Well, the daughter I raised is a strong, independent woman who had some choices to make for her own life.” Her nose points upward at him with a bold fierceness that I don’t recall her having before.

  Go, Momma! I cheer inwardly that someone is on my side.

  “And those selfish choices hurt this family.”

  Leave it to Daddy to bring me down a few notches. Momma’s mouth opens to say something, and I touch her arm to stop her. “You’re right. I’m willing to say I’m sorry a million times. Every day if I have to. Will you ever forgive me?”

  “Time will tell if you’re really sorry.” He storms out of the kitchen.

  Momma grabs white plates from the hutch. “You two help me set the table.”

  “This was a bad idea. We should go.” I want to tuck my tail between my legs.

  “Don’t you dare let him run you off! You ran scared the first time because you were afraid to tell him how you felt.” She hands me the dishes. “Don’t make a liar out of me about that strong, independent woman I was yammering on about to your daddy.”

  “You’re right, Momma. I’m a Calhoun, and I belong here.” I take the dishes and straighten my spine before I walk into the dining room. The long oak table has been in our family for years. It seats up to fifteen people, and I remember it being full of guests most of my life. I place the plates, one at each chair and Ethan walks behind me, setting down the silverware.

 

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