Find me lonely, p.1
Find Me Lonely, page 1
Find Me Lonely
Book Two of the Reawakening Series
by
KELLY VIOLET
Blurb
A choice she had to make...
Yvonne Waller made an impossible decision last year. Picking the only option that protected everyone she loves, she ran. Now, she finds herself surrounded by people but not truly connecting with anyone. That all changes when a new face in town strolls into the diner where she works. His tempting eyes and inviting smirk called to a long-forgotten part of her. She soon realized she’d merely been surviving this entire time. And that was no way to live.
A past he wanted to forget...
Greyson Donahue was on a break. Spending the last decade making poor decisions, a devastating loss sends him headfirst into a wake-up call. To clear his mind, he leaves home and hits the open road for a change in scenery and maybe a sign. When an angel stumbles into his lap, his world is turned right side up. This meet-cute ignited something deep inside him that had been snuffed out for too long: hope.
Can a chance encounter stop them both from running?
Because love finds you in the most unexpected places and at the worst possible time...
Copyright
Find Me Lonely
Copyright © 2019 by Kelly Violet
All rights reserved. This book is licensed to the original purchaser only. Except for use in any review, the reproduction or utilization of this work in whole or part in any form by any electronic, mechanical or other means, now known or hereinafter invented, including xerography, photocopying and recording, or in any information storage or retrieval system, is forbidden without the express written permission of the author.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events or locales is entirely coincidental. All product/brand names mentioned herein are registered trademarks of their respective holders/companies.
Published by Pump Up the Violet Publishing, Los Angeles, CA.
Original Photo by Tyrell Charles on Unsplash
Cover Design by Kelly Violet
Cover content is for illustrative purposes only and any person depicted on the cover is a model.
ISBN-13: 978-0-9997048-7-5
Printed in the U.S.A.
Dedication
Many women in my family have faced adversity their entire lives. Through it all, they never stopped taking care of their loved ones. Being the glue that held everything and everyone together. Sometimes in spite of themselves. This book is for all of them. And it’s for all of you who continue to persevere and strive. No matter what life throws at you.
Table of Contents
Blurb
Copyright
Dedication
Prologue
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Four
Chapter Twenty-Five
Chapter Twenty-Six
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Epilogue
Also by Kelly Violet
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About the Author
Prologue
Taking a deep, shuddering breath, I waited for the ringing to stop and the person on the other end to pick up, tapping my foot against the cracked sidewalk. Beads of sweat prickled on my skin and it wasn’t only from the hot summer day. My body hummed with nervous energy on a never-ending loop. I hoped the person would pick up soon. Then the next second, I wished for the opposite outcome, knowing that it always hurt so much more when they answered.
Conflicting emotions pulled me every which way, my anxious thoughts two-fold. I worried that everyone had moved on, left thoughts of me behind as they probably should. I’d caused too much drama for my family to ever forgive me.
What I’d done to them... I shook my head of the miserable memories. My mom, dad and brother had done so much for me. One of my best friends in the whole wide world, who was also like a second big brother, would do anything for me.
I disappointed them all. Almost got one of them killed.
Life or death.
It was good I left when I did.
Necessary for me and them.
My second worry was worst of all. That they’d beg and plead for me to come home. When I knew it wasn’t safe. For me. For them. I couldn’t be selfish anymore. I had to keep them out of danger, even if it meant staying away.
The ringing continued, grating on my too-fragile nerves. Maybe it’s for the best if he doesn’t answer my call this time, the unsolicited voice in my head supplied. The stilted, robotic automated message behind the voicemail suddenly picked up, instructing me to leave a message at the tone. “Hey, it’s me. C-Chloe.” Two damn syllables and I couldn’t even say them without stuttering.
My own damn name. It had to be from the disuse. Week after week now of not hearing it. Not even from my own lips.
I’d separated myself from the person I used to be. On purpose.
A necessity, I told myself.
I wasn’t that girl anymore. Or I didn’t want to be. The girl who found trouble without even looking for it. And still I usually found my own way out of the mess. But not this time.
This time, escape was my only option.
The end of last year had been hell on earth. So afraid of my own shadow, I ran from it instead. Kept moving. Not settling down in one place for any length of time. Now, all this running had wrung me dry.
Exhausted and too broke to keep going the way I had been.
“I kinda wished you would’ve picked up but also relieved that you didn’t,” I sighed. “Every so often I try to keep up with you and your new band’s success. I’m so proud of you.” Another deep breath to get my bearings. “Please tell the family I’m okay. I have a roof over my head and clothes on my back. Tell them that I love them and miss them. Okay?” I had to end the call before letting the facade fall away. He didn’t need to hear the anguish in my voice, all this emotional baggage weighing me down. “I’ll be in touch, Raph,” the childhood name for him leaving my lips without thought. “Love you, bro,” I whispered, a tear escaping the corner of my eye.
I looked around the truck stop several towns over from where the bus let me off the other day. Late in the afternoon, it bustled with activity from the incoming and outgoing truckers and other people stopping for junk food and topping off their gas tanks. The small town I called my temporary home about an hour’s drive away. I saw myself staying there for now, settling down maybe. I really wanted to, at least for a while. More than tired of running.
The precaution seemed a bit excessive even to me, traveling so far away to make one phone call, but I couldn’t take the chance. Trouble found me—they found me—more times than I could count.
I wasn’t taking that chance again.
Plus, this place still had a payphone, for Christ’s sake. Nowadays, you could only find the simple relics at transportation depots, all but extinct.
But these calls were never simple, and I’d make the drive here as often as I needed to.
It hurt every time I picked up the phone, dialing the number I made myself memorize all those months ago.
A tangible line to my old life I wanted to hold on to.
Needed to cling to with a dollop of unhealthy desperation.
Because I forced myself to be alone, even though it was the very last thing I wanted.
Being on the run was lonesome.
I was lonely and alone. And I hated every damn minute. But to ensure my family’s safety—to keep myself safe—it had to be this way.
Chloe Wallace had to disappear.
I didn’t know for how long. Didn’t even want to imagine.
I just had to deal.
Make the most of my life as it stood.
Pray that I was safe. That they’d lose interest.
But I knew that was a daydream. A stupid and dangerous fantasy.
Whoever started this wanted something from me. They wouldn’t end this cat-and-mouse game so easily.
I learned that the hard way.
Chapter One
Yvonne
Birthdays sucked monkey balls.
They hadn’t in the past. Not for me. But this year? This year was the absolute worst.
“Evie. You doing okay there?” Dorothy Turner, co-owner of the diner where I worked, asked me from a few feet away.
“Hmm?” I turned toward her. “Oh yeah. Sorry,” I said, shaking my head to clear it.
“You sure, sweetheart?” She stopped whatever she was doing at the register, most likely closing out the cash and credit card receipts for the day and stared at me. “It sounded like you were humming happy birthday to yourself.”
Well damn.
“I guess the song got stuck
Dotty studied me for another minute before turning her attention back to the register. “Okay. I’m heading to the office for a few minutes. Are you okay up front by yourself?”
“Yup. I’m fine, Dotty.” I focused on bussing the next table.
Today was my birthday, but I was the only one who knew it. There would be no celebrating this year. No big party or gifts from friends and family.
And I couldn’t share my special day with the diner owners because then they’d know.
I’m not who they think I am.
Voices came over the speaker system. Ron, Dotty’s husband and the cook at Dotty’s Diner, liked to listen to the oldies station during closing. He must’ve turned up the volume and I hadn’t noticed. The deep-voiced radio DJ returned from a commercial break, announcing a chance to win concert tickets in a few short minutes. I listened with half an ear while I finished clearing the tables and filling the salt, pepper and sugar containers.
The first notes of Home by Stephanie Mills played several songs later, stopping me in my tracks. My heart squeezed in my chest. The mop and bucket I just retrieved from the back forgotten in front of me.
I’d recognized that melody anywhere. One of my mom’s favorite songs, it made me think of her. It all came rushing back just how much I missed my family. I never let myself forget though. Just pushed it as far back as it’d go in my mind to get through. One day at a time. Because it hurt too damn much.
But I only had myself to blame.
I made a choice and now had to live with the consequences of my actions. And one of them was spending my twenty-second birthday alone.
Making new friends ended badly. Added to the heartache I already felt. I’d learned that all too quickly the last several months. No matter how often I did it, leaving people and places behind never got easier.
Stop it! I told myself. I’d made the right decision all those months ago. Protecting my family was my main priority. Their safety meant everything to me. And that meant staying away. I would never forgive myself for what happened last Thanksgiving.
With my back to the counter, I let the flood of tears stream down my cheeks and wiped them away quickly. The three of us were here closing tonight and I couldn’t let the older couple see my breakdown. They’d have too many questions.
One was too many these days.
I wanted to stick around one place for more than a couple weeks. And Sutter Hills was a good a place as any. I came across this small midwestern town by chance. Dotty and her husband were great people who opened their arms to me, giving me the waitress job when I came in without a resume, let alone any real experience to speak of. Just clear desperation in my eyes.
I didn’t want to burden them with my problems.
Taking a slow, shaky breath, I brushed away invisible crumbs from the front of the apron I had tied at my waist and tried calming down. Another shuddering breath and I was almost back to normal.
As normal as I could be nowadays.
With the last notes of the song fading, my minor meltdown ended. I returned to my closing duties, distracting myself with mopping the floors.
Thirty minutes later, we finished closing. Ron and Dotty escorted me out as they locked up the front of the diner.
“Bye, sweetie. We’ll see you tomorrow.”
The diner closed at eight-thirty most nights and opened again at six in the morning. “Yup. I’ll be back for the lunch shift. Have a good night.”
I walked to work today, so I waved goodbye to the older couple as they crossed the street to their pickup truck. Gas money was a luxury I couldn’t afford for the clunker of a car I bought a few days before arriving to town. Purchasing the damn thing completely cleaned me out. I didn’t have much left over except for the tips in my pockets from my last shifts, enough to get a few essentials and groceries for when I wasn’t working at the diner.
I didn’t mind the long days because I needed the money. With no friends or family to turn to, all I had was Dotty’s.
I’d been beyond lucky to get this job when I did. I was almost on my last legs after deciding to get off the bus that day. With no real destination in mind, something about the announcement the bus driver made at the last stop drove me to grab my bags and exit. The idea for a car became a no-brainer so that I could split on a moment’s notice. The old beater might not get me as far as I’d like, but it ran well enough for now. And that’s all that mattered if I needed to run again.
When I needed to run again.
My thoughts returned to my birthday. My actual birthday. The date on the ID I carried around had it as two months from now. None of that mattered though because I’d still be in the same predicament down the line. Running scared.
Alone.
I knew they wouldn’t stop coming for me.
Finding me.
Whoever it was.
That’s why I had to go off the grid. And in the twenty-first century that was damn hard to do. I figured I managed it well enough. For the time being, at least. It’d been quiet for a while now, but I couldn’t let myself get too comfortable. Or careless. Not with some unknown entity out there willing to hurt my family to get to me.
I never wanted to believe any of it was real. Someone far away was just having fun messing with me, I told myself. And then it got so real I couldn’t ignore it anymore. Clear as day, they proved their proximity to me and everyone I love. The identity of the person after me was still a mystery, but they knew enough to hurt me.
That’s what scared me the most.
That someone else would get hurt because of me. I couldn’t handle that again. For that reason alone, I had to leave home.
At school, campus security hadn’t known what to do when I went to them with my story. The police became involved the day of the accident, but by then, the damage was done. It had left my family fractured. Devastated. And it was all my fault.
The feelings of loss hit me hard every day, almost crippling me. Mom, dad, Zi and Rafe. They all had a part in shaping me into the woman I’d become and now it felt like I let them down. Let myself down.
I ached just thinking about it. Everything about my current situation felt completely hopeless.
It was an impossible truth to swallow, but I was ill-equipped to fight an invisible opponent. So, I tucked tail and ran.
The next time I looked up, I came upon the hardware store where I rented a small studio apartment on the second floor. How did I get here so fast? Being unaware for so much as a second wasn’t an option. I needed to remain vigilant even though things were quiet in Sutter Hills. So far.
But losing track of my surroundings wasn’t a smart idea, especially while walking home alone at night.
Obliviousness had to be a thing of the past. Walking through life full of entitlement and a devil-may-care attitude. I could afford neither.
If nothing else my current situation was a wake-up call. A harsh one. But there was nothing for me to do about that now. Just survive in the present and keep my eyes wide open.
As I put my key in the downstairs door, a loud noise sounded to the left of me. Almost bisecting the row of businesses down the middle, an alley separated Harry’s Hardware from the dry cleaners next door. From what I noticed, vans and small trucks that delivered to several businesses on this side of the street made use of it.
My fight-or-flight instincts tried to kick in. Instead of running, the urge to freeze won out. I waited a long moment, listening. No other sound came. Not more than a second later, a cat scurried from the shadows of the alley and raced across the street.
Sighing in relief, I rested my forehead against the wall. After another minute, I turned the key and pushed the door open. Making sure it locked behind me, I latched onto the rail and walked up the steps nice and slow. My legs quaked; my body still shaken up from the false alarm.
A shaky grip on my key ring made it difficult to get my apartment door open. Breathing in and out, I tried again and successfully got the door open on the next attempt.
Light reached almost every corner of the apartment as I stepped inside. The efficiency apartment came furnished with well-worn furniture. A lumpy sofa bed pulled out into a full-size mattress, taking up more than half of the living space when in use. The kitchenette held economy-size appliances with a tiny oven and two working stove-top burners. Overall, it wasn’t a bad deal for what I paid, but it was a far cry from my life in suburban Chicago.
