Sozaboy, p.17
Sozaboy, page 17
“Gone to camp at Nugwa,” I shouted. “Why camp? Are they scout or what?”
But my master did not answer another word. He just stand there begin look at me like stupid man. And I see that I cannot get anything from this man whom the war have made useless. Because you know before this war my master does not drink, he does not smoke. He was better man and very good driver. Now they have give him rope inside army and all that he is doing is to tief drink from shop and just get drunk early in the morning. So I just leave the man there to continue to vomit and belch and stagger from one side to another.
From that moment, I know that I am going to look for that camp at Nugwa. I have never heard of place called Nugwa before. When my master talk as Dukana people are making camp, to tell true I cannot understand what the man mean. So have they take all of them make scout? Are they making hut to live inside? What are they eating in that camp? I tell you I do not like the smell of this thing at all. Nevertheless I know I must go immediately to look for them.
I did not waste any time at all. I just carry my gun in my hand and walk straight away to my front. On the road, I saw one sozaman so I ask him if he know where Nugwa camp is? He just point his finger to my front. I think that sozaman is drunk too. I think all the sozas in that place have drink themself stupid with all the drink that they have tief from the shops and the houses that they have broke and entered into. Anyway that one no concern me.
I followed the road to the front. I know that since those Dukana people are not in Pitakwa and they are not in Dukana, they must be where the fighting have not reached. So I just follow as the sozaman in the lorries are going. After some time, I left the road, enter for bush. By this time all the fruits in the farms are very plenty. And even the bananas have ripe well well so I had everything that I can chop. No be hungry be de palaver. The only thing I fear is if some soza see me and dem go to tell Manmuswak and the soza captain that I am not dead but running away from the army. If that one happen, I am sure that they will catch me, put me for that Kampala, cut my tongue, cut my prick and show me pepper before they will shoot and kill me. All the time I am saying to myself, “God no gree bad thing”, “God no gree bad thing.”
If I tell you how I was walking in the bush for seven days and seven nights; how I was passing small small villages where all the houses have broke down and nobody living inside them; if I tell you how many ghosts I used to see in the night, it will be very very long tory. So it is not good to waste your time.
After I have gone from one broke-down village to another; after I have passed the war front and I cannot hear the sound of gun again; after I have begun to see some people all of them very thin with plenty hair like people who have never see food to chop; then after many many troubles, one day, as God used to do his things, I come see for one school compound many many lorries with sign of cross. I see one man and I ask him what they are doing in that school with many lorries and cross. He said that is it ‘Red Cross Centre.’ I have never heard of Red Cross Centre before so I asked him what they are doing in the Centre and whether it is Camp. He said yes, it is camp where they used to keep people who are sick from hunger and kwashiokor and who will soon die.
Kwashiokor. Kwashiokor. Kwashiokor. I am telling you, I like that name Kwashiokor. And you mean to say it is disease. If it is so, it will be a very good disease to kill somebody. Wait oh. So praps my mama and my Agnes can be suffering from this kwashiokor. Kwashiokor. When I think of that, I begin fear bad bad. So I asked the man whether that place is called Nugwa. He said that am I stupid to be asking him that kain question? Have I not been fighting in the war? Do I not know that it is not just one place that is called Nugwa? That Nugwa is a whole country and there are many towns in the country. So I asked him where the incharger of the Red Cross Centre is staying. He pointed to one place for me.
As I was going to that place, I saw one short man that I think I have seen before. This man was walking in front of me. So I walked very quickly and met him. When he heard my footstep behind, he turned and then I recognized him. It was Zaza. Zaza from Dukana. Zaza that old sozaman with him cloth who used to tell us how we have fought against Hitla in Burma. Oh I cannot tell you how my heart was beating drum – bam – bam – bam – bam – bam. I was very happy because I think that when I have seen Zaza then I have seen all the people of Dukana with my mama and my wife Agnes among. I was really very very happy. I just hold Zaza as if he is my really brother or my really age-mate forgetting that he is many many years my senior.
Nevertheless Zaza too was very happy to see me. Although from the way he was looking at me he think that praps I am ghost because according to him they have all heard that I have already dead in the war front and it surprisised him to see me in Red Cross Centre and I am looking very strong like Burma soza of olden days.
So Zaza called me to one corner where he used to keep his clothes and he said that before I do anything or talk any talk with him, I must first of all drink and chop because he have seen many people dying with kwashiokor and influenza and I think he called another disease like hibatension and he did not want me to die like fly as everybody is dying.
So I ate and drink plenty because to talk true I was very very hungry and thirsty although I do not feel it because all I am thinking is how to find my mama and my wife Agnes with J.J.C.
So after I have eat and drink, Zaza ask me how I come reach that camp. So I told him everything from how I was fighting at Iwoama and all the things that happened to me till when Manmuswak find me for bush and take me to the hospital-school and was chooking me so that I will get well. Then I told him how they have made me soza driver and how I was able by that to go to Dukana to look for our people. When Zaza hear the name of Dukana, he cannot control himself again. Before before, he just keep quiet when I am talking. But now his eyes grew big, he opened his mouth and he held my hand. Then he said in small voice whisper:
“You actually went to Dukana?”
“Yes,” is what I answered.
“Dukana still exists?”
“Sure, sure,” is what I answered.
“The sozas did not destroy everything?”
“No.”
“Did you see the houses?”
“Yes.”
“Did you see anybody?”
“Not in the town. The people I saw were in the bush.”
“In the bush!”
“Yes.”
“And what were they doing in the bush?”
“Hiding.”
“And who are these people?”
“Bom and Duzia.”
“The two idiots. They are the one who are save. And those with safe legs and safe mind come to Nugwa to suffer and die like hen and goat and ant.”
Zaza begin cry small small. Cry small small. Small small. So I asked him not to cry again but he must tell me the tory of what happened to himself and the other Dukana people. Still Zaza was crying small small, bending his head and shaking small small as he cried small small. Then after some time he told me how when the fighting began everybody was afraid.
“It was not question of old soza or not old soza. Whether Burma or no Burma. When you see death for your doormouth, you cannot wait for it to come and chop you, you fight for Burma oh, you no fight for Burma. Like when any of those big guns begin shoot, we just look for the nearby bush or lorry just put head begin dey go until we no fit hear the noise of gun again. That is how we have been running since that first day of fight near Dukana. And as the guns dey chase us that day, na so dem dey chase us till today. When we hear the gun, we just run like goat or llama. We no care where we dey go. Just dey run like foolish idiots. Na so we run sotey we come reach this Nugwa where everybody is saying na we allow the enemy to come inside Dukana and now we are inviting the enemy to Nugwa. So all the people do not want to see Dukana porson. When they ask you where you come from and you say you come from Dukana, then immediately they will ask you to leave their town. They will not give you food to eat, they will not give you water to drink, if you sick, nothing to cure you. Sozaboy, na for God hand we dey. True true. I have seen them kill and eat some Dukana people.”
“Kill and eat our people?” I shouted.
“Yes, kill and eat our people.”
“And these people are our friends?”
“Friends? They are not our friends. They are our worst enemy. They are worst than prison. And all those things you hear in the radio and from the D.O. who have come to Dukana before the war proper start, they are all lies. Many many lies. I think you say Duzia and Bom are still alive in Dukana?”
“Yes,” is what I answered.
“You see. They are among the enemy. And they are alive and not too much worry. Nobody is running after them. But here, we are among friends and they are hunting us like anmals. I tell you, no strong young Dukana man or boy can go in this town and they will not catch him and put him in the army straight or into prison or they just kill him and eat him. Is this the action of friends?”
This is what Zaza said and then he continued; “If not for Red Cross, all Dukana people will have already dead. It is this Red Cross that goes round to collect old women and men, the children and all the sick people to put them in camp, give them food and medicine and then make sure that the cannibals do not come to kill and eat them. We have no picken now. All of them have already dead because of kwashiokor. When you see all those children with small big belly like pot, their eyes run go inside inside their head, they have begin yellow small small, Sozaboy, know that death have begin to knock for the doormouth. Kwashiokor show us pepper for one eye; our friends show us pepper for the other eye. God too far away to hear Dukana people, Sozaboy,” said Zaza.
All this time, I am just wanting to ask him if he have seen my mama and my wife Agnes. But what he was telling me truly make me want to cry because I cannot know why Dukana people will suffer like say God have sent them punishment because of some bad thing that they have done before this time. So I just keep quiet and continue to listen to Zaza, old sozaman from Burma time. The only old sozaman from Dukana who have fought against Hitla. Zaza begin to shake him head and him body and I know that if not as old soza concern, he will be crying like small picken.
Then I asked Zaza if he have seen my mama and my wife Agnes. So he told me that true true he have seen them that day when everybody was running away but that he will not tell me lie that he have seen them since that day. Because in this war, everybody must find him own and praps, God will take care of all of us. But he think that some time they will be in refugee camp. This is the first time that I have heard the word and I begin to ask Zaza what it means. So Zaza said that refugee is somebody that they just throway like rubbish, no get house to stay in, no get food to eat or cloth to wear. So the camp where plenty of them are staying is like compost pit. Praps my mama and my Agnes are in one of those compost pit for porson that they have made in the bush.
Oh, I cannot tell you how this word that Zaza have said is almost driving me mad. How can my mama be in compost pit? And my young Agnes with J.J.C. So I told Zaza in strong voice that I must go and look for my young wife and my mama. And Zaza said yes, I must go because any soza who is proper soza cannot stay when all him people are missing and just answer soza for name for nothing.
So I told Zaza thank you and I say that with God’s help we shall meet again for Dukana after the war have ended. Zaza say Amen but he was also shaking his head, small small. And when I asked him why he was shaking his head, he said that war is war and nobody knows what will happen tomorrow because war is war and can begin but it cannot end if it have begin. So I come shake hand with Zaza as soza and soza and I told him bye bye and I went away.
But as I was going, Zaza called me again. So I went to him. Then he asked me that what do I have in my pocket? So I told him that it is gun. And he said that I must throway the gun quick quick otherwise if any person see me holding it, they will kill me one time. And especially it is enemy gun. So I gave the gun to him, old sozaman from Burma time, and I asked him to throway it, or burn it, bend it or bury it or do anything he likes with it. And Zaza took the gun and in my very before, he just knack it for ground with force and angry many many times. The gun spoil well well. Then he just throway the gun. Then I turned and went away.
I did not look at Zaza again. It was the last time for me to see Zaza in this world.
And that is how I begin to move from one refugee camp to another to look for my mama and my young wife whom I have not seen them for almost two years now.
Lomber Nineteen
My dear brothers and sisters, I will not try to tell you how I was moving from one camp to another. Or what I saw in the camps that I went to. Because, true true as Zaza have talked, this camp is proper human compost pit and all these people they are calling refugees are actually people that they have throway like rubbish. Nothing that you can use them for. They have nothing in this world. Not common food to eat. And everything that they have, they must beg before they can get it. All their children have big big belly like pregnant woman. And if you see their eyes and legs. Just like something inside cinema or inside bad forest in dream.
I am telling you, the first time that I went inside one camp, I almost run because I think that I have reached the town of ghost, or ghost town as some people call it. I begin cry when I see all these men and women without no clothes at all, some of them with dirty dirty cloth round them waist and some with cloth full of holes. And all of them carrying small small bowl or dish waiting for small gari without no fish or meat. And not even good water to drink. And many of them sleeping on leaves of banana that they have cut because they have no mat. And all of them with long long hair because there is no barber to cut them hair and even if there is barber, where is the razor blade to use in cutting the hair of so many people? And all these people with long long hair, and big big belly, and mosquito legs, with their eyes inside inside their long long face were very many in every camp. And many of them were crying either because of sickness or hungry or because dem brother was dying and all of them with black body so, so that when you look far, it is like either bad forest in the night or like mangrove swamp when the water have gone to visit the ocean.
In fact, I do not know how I can be able to look for my Agnes and my mama inside the camp. Because those people inside the camp do not know anybody at all. If you are there, praps you will know your papa and your mama and your brother and sister, if God have helped and all of you are still together in one camp. Otherwise all these rubbish people do not know themselves. Many of them are even looking for their people and if you go and ask them whether they have seen your mama and your wife, angry and hungry will not even allow them to answer you. So all I can do is to go round and round and round looking to see if I will see my people. I will look when they are all standing in line with small small bowl in their hand waiting for the Red Cross people to give them some small food to eat. I will look when they are going to stream either to bath or to collect water for the old and sick people. I will look when they are lying down in the afternoon or in the evening. But still I cannot see my mama and my beautiful wife.
So I will leave that camp and go to another. And again na soso the same thing. Plenty people without no dress or little dress walking round with small small bowl begging for food to eat: small small picken with big belly, eyes like pit for dem head, mosquito legs and crying for food, and small yarse and waiting for death, long line of people standing, waiting for food. And still I do not see the Dukana people much less, or rather, much more my mama and my beautiful wife with J.J.C. Nevertheless you must remember that as I was going from one camp to another, I was passing the villages of the Nugwa people and I must say that what I saw in those villages can make porson cry. Because all these people cannot find food to chop. There is no fish so the people are beginning to kill and chop lizard. Oh, God no gree bad thing. To see all these men and women who are children of God killing and chopping lizard because of can’t help is something that I will be remembering all the days of my life for ever and ever, amen.
It was one driver for Red Cross who told me that I have been wasting my time. That true true, if I want to find my people, I should not waste time in Nugwa. That many people do not like to stay there because of cannibals and tiefs who are plenty there. So, they all go to Urua where refugees are plenty. He said that Urua is like big city – full of titis and the people there are having money and they are trading as if there is no war. Believe me yours sincerely, I could not believe this thing that this driver is telling me. But still I know I must go to find out if what he is saying is true. So I went. And when I get to Urua, what I saw was actually a great surprisation to me.
If I think I have seen black forest or black swamp before, it is lie. Because the only black forest or black swamp in this world is Urua. So many people, oh God! And all of them put together in one wide open space. And some are sleeping, some are walking, some are cooking, some are drawing water, some are cutting firewood, some are wearing cloth that have tear, some have no cloth at all, many picken with big belly and mosquito legs, some picken just look like young ghost. And everybody was just talking different different language as I was going round looking and looking and asking. If I tell you that I was in that camp for one week and still I have not seen everybody, you will not believe it.
True true, this Urua is not just camp. It is new town, new dirty town born by the foolish war. And as him papa be stupid man, I know that Urua will also be stupid but you cannot just see that it is stupid town until you have lived in it for some time. Just as you will not know that war is foolish until you have fought inside it for some time and suffered as I have suffered in this foolish war that have separated me from my wife and my mama. And after one week, I am still not able to see Dukana people. In that camp, many people were trading with the enemy. They will go to where the enemy are staying to buy salt and milk and sugar and all those things and then they will come to that camp to sell it to people who have money. Always they are selling the things at very high price and those who are doing that trade are all very rich.
