The crash box set, p.120
The Crash Box Set, page 120
part #1 of EMP Crash Series
They had found plenty of supplies such as blankets and clothes, but the food had been scarce. A few patrols who had been sent out to the far reaches of the city were due to return soon, though, and Mack hoped they would be bringing back good news with them. After staring at the map for a while, he walked to the corner of the room and spun the globe around, watching the countries blend into a blur. After a few moments of watching this mesmerizing sight he placed his finger firmly onto the globe and it stopped abruptly. He removed his finger and looked at the country he had found, Italy.
“I wonder what's happening over there,” he said aloud, to nobody in particular.
For the most part, his mind was focused on New Haven and the people he loved there, but occasionally he let his mind wander and thought about the rest of the world. There were, or had been at least, billions of people. How many of them had survived? Had any of the governments actually been able to remain intact and maintain order, or had every country fallen into chaos? Had anyone even found out the cause of the EMP? In the beginning, Mack had been intensely curious about that, but as time had gone on he realized that it didn't matter. All that mattered was how they lived now.
“I'm sure something exciting and dangerous, just like we have to deal with. Or they're just sitting on a beach sipping Mai Tais, watching the world go by. Maybe we're the only people in the world who have to deal with all this shit?” Grace said, standing in the door. Mack turned to face her, surprised. He hadn't been expecting to see her until later.
“Anything I can do for you?” he asked.
She sighed and tossed back her hair, something Mack had noticed she did whenever she had something on her mind. She flung herself into one of the chairs and put her feet up on the desk, looking entirely too comfortable, but Mack found it amusing.
“I don't know. This whole thing with the sailors, you know, it stirred up some stuff.”
“I was just talking with Hank about that very thing. I know that people are shaken by it, but we have to try moving on from thinking about what they did. It's not going to do us any good to dwell on it.”
“Oh no, I wasn't thinking about that. It's how it stirred up stuff between Luis and me. I thought I needed some space to clear my head, but whenever I see him I still feel weird.”
“Weird in what way?”
“I'm not sure exactly, but I feel like I can't be myself, almost like I'm always doing something wrong. I feel like he wants me to be somebody I'm not, and I don't know how to handle that. Before these issues came up we could just hang out and be happy and there were no problems. Now, I don't know what I'm supposed to be feeling or how to deal with it. And I'm sure the last thing you want to hear is our relationship drama, but you've always been able to help me with these things, and you are my best friend. So, I wanted to tell you.”
“You're my best friend, too, Grace, and of course I want to hear about any problems you're having. I think this is a natural state for a lot of relationships, especially since you two don't have much experience in previous relationships.”
“That's an understatement,” Grace said curtly.
“And you first got together under extreme circumstances. Things are settling down now, and there's more stability around you, so it's natural the two of you are looking at each other a little differently. All I can tell you is to be patient with him and be honest with him, and yourself as well. Keep talking to him about the way you feel, but don't stay in a relationship with him just because you think you have to. At the end of the day that only would lead to both of you resenting each other, because he won't want to be with someone who is only with him out of a sense of obligation. I know it would be much easier if we could simply flick a switch and turn our emotions on and off, but we have to deal with them I'm afraid.”
“I know,” she sighed.
She was about to say something else when Freddie came running into the office, saying some of the patrols were back. Grace and Mack put their personal discussion aside and raced down to the barriers where the patrols were standing, getting off their horses and reuniting with those they had missed so much. The leaders of the patrols came up to Mack and Grace when they saw them and gave a brief report. Sadly, they did not have good news. The city was mostly barren. Although they found some food, it would not be enough to see New Haven through winter. Still, they also had a more pertinent question that had plagued them all throughout their patrol. Where had all the people gone?
Chapter 12
Mack stood there. In truth, the question had plagued him for a while. The city was big, and they should have encountered far more people than they actually had. There had, of course, been riots in which many people had died, and a lot of people had tried leaving the city to find somewhere new, as Maggie, Hank, and Luis had seen when they had been on the highway when the EMP hit. Some of those people tried reaching rural areas to live off the land. While others had migrated to even larger cities, where they hoped their chances of survival would be better. Mack had met some of these people in the first settlement they had come across while in the forest. Although even then he would have assumed most people would have stayed where they were most comfortable. It was as though they all had disappeared.
“We were on our guard the whole way through, figuring there would be other people around, especially when we got all the way to the other side of the city, but there was nobody there. Somebody must have been there to clear out all the food from the stores and things, but there wasn't any trace. We went in houses as well, and called out to them, but there was nothing,” one of the people who went out on patrol said.
“Maybe they've all been beamed up by aliens,” someone joked. This brought out a tittering laugh, but it only masked the issue of what actually had happened.
Mack stayed silent while other people offered various theories. The most common one, and the most sensible one, was that people simply up and left the city when they saw how the state of things were unfolding. The riots would have scared them, and it would have made sense to try making it somewhere safe. While this did make sense, it didn't convince Mack because he didn't think people would so easily abandon their homes.
Another theory that had some merit was that a safe place had been set up and people had flocked to that. Still, that was only a matter of speculation, since there wasn't any proof at all. It wasn't even that most of the people had died because they still would have found corpses littering the streets. It was as though a big chunk of the population just had disappeared for no reason, and as good as Mack's imagination was, he wasn't about to entertain the possibility of extra-terrestrial interference. No, there had to be a rational explanation. He only hoped it wasn't because of another huge group who wanted to swallow up other people in a frenzy of death and destruction.
Mack thought there would have been other people with whom they could have pooled resources and traded supplies. In his ideal world, he wanted to set up a network of communities that all could work together to help each other survive. However, at the moment it seemed as though New Haven was the only one in the city, a lonely beacon that would have to rely on itself for survival. While self-reliance was one of the most important qualities Mack considered someone to have, he was not blind to the cons of isolation. Trade and sharing were some of the most fundamental aspects of human society, and it was something necessary for survival. They never were going to have exactly everything they needed, but without anyone to trade with they were going to be left to fend for themselves, and that would not bode well for them if they didn't find food soon.
But it was more than food that Mack wanted. He wanted to know that there were other survivors who had been able to achieve the same things as New Haven had. He wanted to know that New Haven was not alone in the world, in having overcome the tough circumstances of the post-apocalyptic world. He wanted to share stories and advice on how to flourish in this type of world, and wanted a support network to share not only supplies, but people as well. Mack’s vision was to build a thriving settlement with a new civilization, one founded on mutual trust and co-operation.
Once the speculation had died down everyone around them looked to Mack for an explanation. They were so used to him knowing exactly what was going on. So, they just naturally assumed he would offer an answer that made sense, one that would give them closure and set their minds at ease before they continued going about their day. Yet, he couldn't give them what they wanted or needed. He didn't understand it himself, since, at the very least, the city offered shelter from the elements. But the most pressing concern was the need for food, something that Grace brought up.
“I get that it's weird that there aren't more people out there, but we have to be focused on food. Frankly, this isn't as much as we hoped to get from going so far out. Mack, I really do think we need to take a patrol into the forest. I'm not saying we have to go all the way back to the settlement, but we have to try for other sources of food.”
“I agree,” Mack said, “go ahead and put together a team,” she left, and while she did so Mack got together another group to go back to the docks for some more fish.
“I know we're all going to get tired of eating fish pretty quickly, and we don't want to have so many that we end up eating the entire population, but catch as many as you can and bring them back here. Take some guns as well, just in case Flint decided to come back to shore.”
That patrol left almost immediately. They were nervous about going back to the docks. None of them really wanted to interact with the sailors again, but when they got to the docks there were no signs of Flint or the sailors. The sailors were gone for good, and the people of New Haven were free to fish in peace. It would have been easier if they were able to take a boat out, but the only boats left were those that ran on electric motors. At some point, they would build another one to take out into slightly deeper waters to fish properly with huge nets, but that would take time and manpower they did not have at that moment.
Back in the settlement, Grace was putting together her patrol. A large group was going to be needed, since they would be trekking for a matter of weeks, and hopefully would be bringing back an abundant supply of food. She wanted people she trusted, because she knew how dangerous the forest could be. In some ways it was funny, because when they left the forest and finally saw the city standing before them, she vowed she never would return and didn't want to even think about setting foot back in the forest. Although now she was looking forward to being back there, hoping the change in environment would offer her some semblance of clarity when it came to her personal difficulties. Along with several other people, she recruited Daisy, Gary, and Saul to accompany her, and then, much to her surprise, Anna volunteered to come along as well.
“Are you sure?” Grace asked.
“Yeah, I kinda miss being out there and I think I can help, if you don't mind me tagging along.”
“No, of course not,” Grace said, and each of them went to make the preparations to leave.
Privately, Mack followed Anna back to their apartment where she was packing up a few things to take with her.
“I'm going to ask you the same question that Grace asked. Are you sure about this?” he said.
Anna stopped what she was doing, pressed her lips together, and then turned to face him. “Definitely,” she said.
“It's just that you had a rough time of it before when you were out of the city, and it set you on a path where you wanted to isolate yourself from other people.”
“That won't happen again. I'm with you again, and I've made friends with all these lovely people. I was only in that way because I felt like I was alone, and that I'd lost everything I cared about in the world. I don't feel like that anymore, so you don't have to worry. I just...I want to do something that matters. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love doing the creative stuff and keeping that alive, but I'm not really needed for that, not anymore at least. The group is kind of self-sufficient now, which is great! But also, you know, we can't eat artwork or stories. I truly believe we do need those things to live, but we also need food, and that's the one thing we're really lacking at the moment. I haven't been out on a patrol for New Haven yet, and I don't think it's fair that other people should risk their lives when I'm just sitting here. I don't want people to think I'm taking advantage of being your wife.”
“I'm sure nobody would ever--” he started to say, but Anna held up a hand to cut him off.
“I get why you're concerned, but I'm not doing it for any other reason than I want to help. I know I have skills that will come in useful, and I want to do my part for New Haven,” she said. Mack nodded and hugged her, wishing her good hunting.
In another part of the settlement, however, another couple did not have such a calm and reasonable discussion about it. After Grace had gone around and rounded up enough people for a patrol, she was packing up her supplies. Luis came rushing up to her, his deputy badge shining brightly. Grace tensed up at the sight of him because she knew what was coming, and indeed, within moments of him being by her side Luis was expressing his concerns.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” he asked.
“You know you don't always have to be the one to lead the patrols. I mean, I know that's kinda your thing, and you're great at it, and I get that you want to feel like you're contributing to New Haven, but do you not think at the moment it's better for you to stay here so we can sort things out? I don't want to try keeping you here, but you did say you wanted to sort out your head. Yet, we haven't really talked about things since you've been back, and I just, I want to know what's going on with us, you know?”
“I get that, and I'm sorry that this is so hard for you, but it's not like it's easy for me either. I wish I knew what was going on in my own head. All I know is I need some space, just to figure it out. Please, give me this time. I'd rather go out there knowing that I have your support. You know this is my role here, this is what I'm good at.”
“I know it is, but I also feel as though you're using it as an excuse to get away from me,” Luis said sullenly.
“That's not fair. I'm doing it because we need food to survive, and I'm one of the best there is at going out there and finding it. Why can't you just say, 'Good luck, Grace' rather than making it such a big deal?”
“Oh, I'm sorry that I'm going to miss my girlfriend. Sure, just go out there, take the whole winter if you want. It's nice to know it's so easy for you to leave me.”
“I'm not leaving you,” Grace said in an exasperated tone, pinching the bridge of her nose.
“I can't talk to you like this, I just can't. I don't even know what to say. I'm going out on patrol, I'll see you when I get back,” she said, and with that she hauled her bag over her shoulder and stormed out of the apartment, leaving Luis frustrated and angry.
It only took a few moments before he too stormed out of the apartment. His head and heart burned with turbulent emotions, and he didn't quite know what to think. All he did know was he was afraid of losing Grace for good. In a blind rage, he went to find Maggie and told her in no uncertain terms he was going to go on the patrol as well. Maggie took one look at him and saw that he was in distress. There were some times when she was hard on him, such as the time he had instigated a brawl with the sailors. Yet, in this instance, she could see he needed a little more tenderness. She looked at him and took a deep breath, hoping he would do the same.
“And why's that?” she asked.
“Because I need to go, I need to be there with Grace so we can talk properly. She said she wants space, but I know what that means. The longer we're apart the quicker she'll just forget about me, and I don't want to stay here knowing our love is breaking apart. I have to be with her to remind her that I exist.”
“Okay, first of all, you have your duties as my deputy, and you can't just decide when you want to fulfill them. I told you when this started that it was a solemn oath and a hard job, and that it would take up a lot of time, but that it had to be your priority. You agreed to that, you agreed to all of it. I understand you're in a very emotional place right now and you just want to be with her, but sometimes there are other things that have to come first.” Luis looked as though he was going to explode with frustration, but before he could say anything Maggie continued in her calm, even tone.
“And on a personal note, I've spoken with Grace about this, and I obviously know how you feel. Speaking as a woman I can tell you the worst thing you can do right now is to smother her. I know the natural instinct is to do everything you can to hold on, but it's not going to do you any good to go after her. Give her the time she needs. Give her a chance to miss you.”
Chapter 13
It was soon time for the patrol to leave. The ones going out on patrol said goodbye to their loved ones and promised they would stay safe. Saul gave Alison quite a public kiss, bending her over backward, leaving her staggering back, causing everyone else to gawk in awkward amusement. Luis was not present, and Grace wasn't sure if she was happy about that or not. She tried to look for him through the crowd, but didn't see him.
“It'll be okay,” Anna said. “We'll talk about it later if you want.”
“Thanks,” Grace said, glad that Anna was so intuitive and knew what was upsetting her without Grace having to tell her anything.
There were about ten or so of them, all armed with guns, javelins, and bows and arrows. Gary was especially eager to test his mettle out there. As soon as they left the safety of New Haven he was talking about the animals he was going to hunt and trying to cajole the others into a competition.
“Remember that we're doing this to get food to feed everyone's stomachs, not to feed your egos,” Grace said sternly.
