I reach under his chin, lifting it up. “Why the rush?”

  His worried crease digs deeper. “I have to be back for Andrew.”

  I smile down at him reassuringly. I don’t want him to think he can’t talk about his son. “Can’t you just tell Annabelle you’ll be a few days?”

  “He’s not with Annabelle.” The melancholy frown across his lips puts me on edge. “Liv and Harrison are watching him.”

  “Why is that?”

  He looks up at me. I want to die. He looks incredibly sad. His eyes shine with unshed tears. “She left.”

  “She what?”

  Brady sighs heavily as his fingers toy with the sheet. “She came to pick Andrew up one night. She had been drinking.” He shakes his head. “I wouldn’t let her take him. She spent the night, and I woke up to a letter the next morning.” His gaze meets mine. “She terminated her parental rights. She’s no longer his mother, and the thought of explaining any of it to Andrew is fucking killing me.”

  My heart bleeds for him. He thinks Andrew is going to experience the same heartache he did. Brady’s felt the pain of knowing a parent doesn’t want you, and I know Brady’s terrified to put Andrew through that.

  “What the hell am I supposed to tell him? How am I going to explain that his mother is a selfish bitch who would prefer to party than to mother him? It’s not fair.”

  I have no idea how to answer, or if he actually wants me to. “I don’t think you should tell him anything right away.”

  He sighs, dropping his gaze to the mattress again. “He’s going to want to know where she is.”

  I pull his face back up. “So we’ll take it day by day.”

  He smiles. “‘We’ll’?”

  “Yes, we’ll do it together.” I smile back.

  “You have no idea how happy it makes me to hear you say that. I can’t do this without you.”

  Just when I thought I was rid of all my insecurities, they rear their ugly heads. Is this why he came to get me? He needs a mother for Andrew?

  “Brady, why did you come here?”

  Without a word, he reaches over the side of the bed and scoops up his jeans from the floor. His hand dips into the back pocket and removes a folded piece of paper. He hands it to me.

  My fingers begin to shake as I unfold the square. While I read it, an array of emotions come over me, everything from mild fear to extreme sadness. I feel Brady’s eyes studying me. It’s when I get to the paragraph about me that anger surges. Not just at her, but at myself. I never once tried to fight. It’s something I will never forgive myself for.

  When I finish, I fold the letter back up and hand it to him.

  He tosses it to the floor. “That’s why you left, isn’t it? You saw us?”

  I nod. I feel so ashamed. I should have known.

  “I never should have let it get that far.”

  I shake my head, not wanting to hear him. “It doesn’t matter.”

  He continues, “She drank a lot with dinner.”

  I put my hand on his chest and look right into his eyes. “You don’t have to tell me.”

  “I want to explain what you did see.”

  I don’t want to hear it, but I let him speak, thinking maybe he needs to say it.

  “She stormed into the studio naked and climbed on top of me. I knew she was drunk. I was afraid if I lost it on her, you’d hear and walk in on us. That you’d take it wrong. Ironic, right? So I carried her to the spare room. When I tried to set her down on the bed, she pulled me down with her. She begged me to have sex. I stood up and walked out.”

  “I saw it all,” I admit sadly. “Except you walking out.”

  He takes my face in his hands, his eyes traveling over my features. “Tori, I would never cheat on you.”

  I hear what he means to say. He can’t believe I ever thought he would cheat on me. I’m riddled with guilt. “I’m sorry. It looked like so much more. I was in such a bad place. You said I was a distraction.”

  His hands leave my face. He looks shocked. “What?”

  I can tell he doesn’t remember. “You had Andrew and your music. I thought I was in the way.”

  “I’m so sorry. I never meant to make you feel that way. I’ll quit the band right now if you want me to.”

  I snap my head to look at him. He’s serious. He’d walk away from all of it. He’d leave the band and the recording deal behind for me. “Brady, no. I would never ask you to do that.”

  He holds my hands to his chest. “But you need me.”

  I smile. I do need him. “Brady, I need you to be happy.”

  He lets go of my hands. “It doesn’t mean anything to me if you’re unhappy.”

  “I’m in a better place than I was then.” I take in a deep breath, seeking the strength I need to tell him. “I was lost. I felt hopeless. I wanted to die.” He growls in his throat when I say it. “I don’t anymore. When I first got to Minnesota, I went to the doctor. I found out I have postpartum depression. It was bad, Brady. It’s the worst kind of hopelessness. I felt worthless. I was so angry, like my soul was ice and I couldn’t get warm enough to melt it. I should have seen a doctor sooner. I would have been able to deal with everything better.” I reach up and cup his cheek. “I love you. I won’t let you give up your dream for me.”

  He pulls me close, his hand massaging the back of my neck. “I’m a fucking idiot. I had no idea you were feeling so alone. You have to talk to me if you ever feel like I’m not giving you enough time. I have to know.”

  I nod against his chest. “I will.”

  We lie there for a long while, caressing each other’s bodies. I love him so much it hurts. I also need to tell him everything. I can’t go home with him until I do. The problem is summoning the courage. I’m terrified he’ll walk out on me and never look back. It doesn’t matter that we weren’t together. Like he said, my heart belonged to him. I still betrayed him.

  I sit up in the bed. My teeth dig into my bottom lip until I think it might bleed. He sits up next me. Concern sweeps over his face. His soft gaze searches my eyes.

  “I slept with someone else.” I don’t dare say it was Tug. It would kill him.

  His eyes don’t leave me. He just stares at me for what starts to feel like hours. I feel sick. My eyes glance to his jaw, looking for any signs of anger. There are none. His regular breathing gives nothing away, either. Only the deepening green of his eyes alerts me that he’s even heard what I said.

  I press my lips together and swallow. “Brady, please say something.”

  “Why?” His voice is laced with anger.

  I gaze at him sadly, not wanting to admit to him my reasons. I’ve tried hard to forget about that night. I’d been spiraling out of control for so long. That night I finally hit rock bottom. “I don’t know why.”

  “Yes, you do.” He looks past me, his eyes sad and knowing. He wants to hear me say it. I can’t.

  “I had too much to drink.” It’s not a complete lie. The truth is so much worse.

  He turns his head back to me with an icy glare. “You didn’t answer the question.”

  He’s not about to let me out of this. “I love you,” I cry out, hoping he’ll give up and not take this there.

  “Goddamn it, Victoria, answer me. Why?”

  No longer able to stomach the pressure, I cave, shouting out everything I should have said to him before I left. All the things I felt but never had the courage to say.

  “Because I missed you…. Because I couldn’t have you…. Because it felt so incredibly good to have someone touch me again…to be wanted…and because more than anything I wanted it to be you.”

  The words come in a fit of irrational bawling. I expect comfort. He gives me none. Instead, his eyes narrow as his head dips close.

  “Bullshit!”

  I cringe and look up at his paling face. I feel small. “No, God…Brady.” Why can’t he just leave it alone?

  “Just fucking say it!” His voice booms and bounces off the walls.

  “Fine…” I come undone, no longer able to control my emotions or my mouth. “I did it because I was angry…. I did it because I blamed you for losing Mona and forgetting about her…and because I fucking hated you…. I wanted you to know what it felt like when I saw you with Annabelle…. You hurt me, Brady…and I wanted to hurt you back…. Are you fucking happy now?”

  Before I catch my breath, he drags me underneath him, entering me with a hard, powerful stroke. I let out a shocked gasp.

  He stills, smothering me with his body. “No, I’m not happy.” He withdraws slowly before slamming back into me with a powerful blow. “You did hurt me…really fucking bad.”

  I bite back tears. I won’t cry anymore. I deserve this.

  I’m flipped on my belly. Brady’s hands grip my waist, lifting my hips from the mattress. I secure my weight on my hands as he slams into me, his head falling back as he screams my name. Each blow is stronger than the next. The punishing dominance behind his thrusts sends me spiraling out of control. I grip the sheet into a ball in my hands, screaming out for him to give me more as I watch him over my shoulder. He fulfills my request, continuing to drive his hips into me with unrelenting force in a carnal and raw form of possession. He’s marking me.

  His body covers me, heating my back. “Nobody else kisses you,” he demands, his voice a throaty growl as he drops kisses along the top of my shoulder.

  “Yes,” I moan.

  His palm circles my ass before he brings my hips to meet his again. “Nobody else gets to touch you.”

  “Yes.”

  He lifts his body slightly as his hand travels up my spine until his fingers curl around the front of my neck, drawing my head back to rest on his shoulder. “No one else fucks you.” He tugs my hair gently, moving my head to the side to expose my neck. “Because you’re mine.” He gently bites my neck.

  “Oh, God. Yes!” I cry out, ready to burst. It’s too intense. I taste tears in my mouth.

  With another gentle pull of my hair, my head turns toward him. “Say it!”

  With our mouths nearly touching, I whisper, “I’m yours.”

  He kisses me fiercely before releasing me. His hands return to my hips as he continues to pump his hips forward. I fall to the mattress, completely spent as I feel the slow onset of climax warming my belly and working its way down my thighs to my toes.

  “Only I get to love you.”

  He rocks forward a final time. We cry out together as he relaxes into me. I enjoy the slight shaking of his body. I feel his heart racing on my bare skin. He pulls out and drops to his back on the bed next to me.

  The ugly silence is back. It’s thick enough to touch.

  I don’t let it sit for long. “Brady.”

  I hear a soft sigh before he says, “Give me a minute.”

  He’s trying to compose himself, but I can’t wait. “I’m so sorry I hurt you.”

  “No more apologies.” He looks over at me, patting his chest. I nestle right into him, elated that he still wants to hold me. “We both screwed up after we lost her.” He kisses my head. “We start fresh, right here and right now, with no more fucking apologies.”

  Relieved, I peer up at him, smiling. “I think I’m more in love with you at this moment than I’ve ever been.”

  He grins, his head falling back as he laughs. “That’s just your orgasm talking.”

  My jaw drops. “Brady, stop.” I pinch his side. He jerks and grabs my hand. I lock eyes with him. “I mean it. I love you.”

  His arms fold around me as he sighs. “I love you, too. You’ll always be my Sunshine.”

  We have dinner with my parents before Brady helps me pack a suitcase. My parents hadn’t sent a truck for my things in Mexico yet. There’s not a lot to take with me. I think they knew all along I wouldn’t be staying.

  Chapter 24

  Tori

  “Come on, baby, we gotta go.”

  I give my mom and dad a final hug before climbing into the rented town car with Brady to start my “new” old life. I roll down the window, waving until they’re out of sight.

  When we arrive at the airport, we bypass the commercial terminals. I look over at Brady, who shrugs. “There are some advantages to owning a large corporation.”

  I sometimes forget who Brady really is. “Gibson has a jet?”

  He chuckles and nods. I guess I never gave it any thought. “Shouldn’t the company be using it?”

  “I just got you back.” His eyebrows lift suggestively. “I want you all alone for as long as I can.”

  I throw my head back as I laugh. “We are not joining the mile-high club, Mr. Hunter.”

  He lifts an eyebrow. “We’ll see.”

  After Brady speaks with security and the captain, we board the plane. My eyes soak up my surroundings. This is definitely not commercial. There’s a gray sectional sofa with a coffee table on the right. On the other side there are four leather reclining chairs separated by a dining table. I had no idea people traveled like this. Brady’s watching me with amusement as my eyes travel to a door in the back.

  His wicked grin reaches his eyes. “It’s a bedroom.”

  I shake my head. “It’s so not happening.”

  He laughs. I love the sound. I’ve missed him so much.

  We sit at the sofa. An attendant brings us water and disappears behind a door in front. After takeoff, somewhere around twenty-eight thousand feet, Brady and I do in fact join the mile-high club.

  For the remainder of the flight, we eat breakfast, and he tells me about how the band ended up getting signed. The night I left, Jesse called to tell him a rep from the label would be at the next show. I realize this is what he meant when he told Annabelle they were going to celebrate. The rep made the show and invited the band to their offices in L.A. After a few weeks of contract negotiations, they signed the contracts and have been in the studio ever since.

  I ask him about the family that was going to adopt Camilia and Paco. He doesn’t know all the details, but it didn’t work out. I also ask how it’s going with Davey. I’m elated when Brady informs me that not only did they find Davey’s son, but that Davey is working full time and staying out of trouble. He’s been granted visitation and will soon have his son every other weekend.

  The captain announces that we’ve started our descent, and I glance out the window. I don’t hate flying out of San Diego nearly as much as flying into it. Logically I know there are miles between the buildings, but somehow when you shoot between them in a plane at a few hundred miles an hour, it feels like only inches. I hold my breath until the wheels are firmly on the ground.

  On the drive home, Brady gets off the highway onto a familiar exit.

  “Why are we going to PB?”

  “To say ‘hi’ to our girl.”

  I search his caring face, completely in awe of the love I feel for him.

  Mona Olivia Hunter. I read my baby’s headstone for the first time. I left before it was put in. Brady’s hand is sweaty in mine, but I’m thankful he won’t let go. I pull him down to sit on the lawn. For twenty minutes we sit there, hand and hand, mourning a part of us.

  “I think about her every day.” His voice breaks.

  “Me, too.”

  It’s all he needs to say. She’ll never be forgotten, but we have to move forward. It’s time.

  ***

  Liv and Andrew come out of the house to greet us. Andrew runs over to hug Brady, and Liv comes straight for me. Tears fill her eyes, but they don’t spill.

  “Hey, what’s wrong?”

  She throws her arms around my neck as the tears break free. “I hate you. Don’t ever do that again.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  I expected Liv to be upset. We’ve barely spent a day apart since the eighth grade. It’s the sad face of the little boy next to me that surprises me. “Hi, Andrew.”

  His little body presses up against my legs as his arms wrap around me. I reach down and lift him into my arms. He clings to me like I’m the air he breathes. I’m completely taken aback.

  “I missed you, Tori.”

  The ache in my heart is indescribable. If he’s this upset about my month-long absence, I’m hating the thought of what it will be like when he realizes his mother is gone forever. I squeeze him hard, thinking I would die for this kid to save him one ounce of pain. Brady looks at the two of us with an adoring smile. As I set Andrew down, he reaches for my hand. I hold it as we walk up to the house.

  Halfway up the stairs, I tense as I think about what awaits me in the house. Liv’s at the door waiting for me.

  “Is Tug here?” I stop breathing.

  “No, he’s in…well, shit. I don’t know what state he’s in this week. He’s all over the place.”

  I laugh nervously and then snap my mouth shut.

  Liv continues. “I told him he needs to email me his itinerary.”

  “He’s a grown man, Liv,” Brady points out while I start breathing again.

  Liv turns to Brady with her hands on her hips. My bestie is as feisty as ever. “What if there’s an emergency?”

  Brady rolls his eyes. “Gibson knows where he is.”

  She huffs, dropping her hands from her hips as we walk inside. “He should still let us know.”

  I don’t know how things will be between Tug and me when he gets back. I know I’ll have to face him when he does. Even though he has his own place in San Diego, he spends most of his time at our house.

  Brady sets the suitcase at the bottom of the stairs. He turns to look at me. His face twists. It’s warped with conflict. “I have to go meet the guys at the studio later. Do you want to come?”

  For so long the studio was our garage that it takes me a minutes to realize he means the label’s studio. “Of course.”

  “Hey, I wanted to get ice cream,” Andrew whines next to us.

  Brady shrugs at me and then looks down at Andrew. “I have a lot of work to do today, buddy.”

  Andrew groans, and although he shouldn’t be pouting, he looks adorable. Guilt pokes at me, knowing Brady missed time in the studio to come and get me. I’m sure the label isn’t happy about it.

 

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