The healing power of tim.., p.17
The Healing Power of Time, page 17
Willow sighed and he could see that her hands were shaking. It was clear that whatever she had to say to him was weighing heavily on her mind.
“I’m scared,” she admitted with a tense smile. “I want you to know that I came back because I wanted to find what was left of my home. And I can’t tell you how happy I was when I realized that you were still alive. It was like a dream, and I thought I’d have more time to tell you the truth.”
“You did tell me the truth,” Sam said, feeling a little bewildered, “although I don’t know why you were nervous about telling me.”
Willow looked down at her feet, then back at him.
“I wish we had more time,” she said sadly, “you should have gotten enough time to process this properly.”
“I s’pose…”
“Sam, I’m afraid because once you stop for a second and think about this, there’s going to be one question that you need to ask.”
Sam hesitated. He knew she was right. There was so much he wanted to know, but the first one was simple.
“Where have you been all this time?” he asked.
She flinched as if she’d been hit. Sam wanted to comfort her, but there was a gnawing feeling of dread and suspicion in his stomach. Willow was acting strangely. In fact, she had been acting strangely ever since she arrived. She was amazed by simple things, and she spoke with a slight accent. He couldn’t quite place it but had chalked it up to her coming from a different part of the country.
“Do you remember what happened when we were running toward town that day?” she asked.
He nodded. That moment haunted his nightmares. The warrior had ridden right toward them, blood and fury plain on his face. His axe had been raised high over his head, and Sam had pushed Eliza out of the way. They were going to die a cruel, painful death when Eliza made it stop.
The man had lifted Eliza up and taken her away. Sam had spent years being tortured by all the possibilities of what had happened next. And now, she was standing in front of him unscathed and he wanted to know the truth.
“You were taken,” he said gruffly.
“Yes,” Willow said with slight smile. “His name was White Bear, and he was the chief of the tribe.”
“You mean he was their leader?” Sam asked, his voice thick with an emotion he couldn’t quite understand. “He ordered the attack?”
“They were afraid of us, Sam,” Willow said. “They were afraid that we were going to…”
“What?” Sam challenged. “What were they so afraid of? Were they afraid we were going to slaughter their families? There was no one left, Willow. They killed everyone. I heard my mother’s screams as she was killed.”
“So did I!” Willow said, her eyes flashing. “I was there too!”
They stared at each other for a moment, the air thick between them. The tension was palpable, and they both knew that what came next would either make or break them.
“What happened next?” he asked, fighting to keep calm. “Where did he take you?”
Willow’s shoulders slumped as the fight left her body. “He took me to his tribe. Home.”
A feeling of fury so intense raced through Sam. His hands started shaking and he felt the urge to toss everything off the nearest shelf. He wanted to break things and make a noise. Instead, he clenched his fists. No, if he did that then he would only scare her. He had more control over his anger than that.
“They adopted me, Sam,” Willow continued. “His wife’s name was Morning Dove. They couldn’t have any children of their own, so they took me in. I got to know their language, and I learned their ways. I came to love them.”
Every word was like a stab to his heart, and he felt that he couldn’t even look at her.
“My parents loved me,” he whispered. “My mama used to wake me up with coffee every morning. She would hug me close and tell me how much she loved me. I… can still remember her voice in my head. Some days, I wake up and I expect her to come walking in with some coffee, and when I remember… it’s like she died all over again.”
Willow bit her lip and rubbed her arms as if she was getting cold. His heart felt heavy. A wild, terrible thought occurred to him. He would have preferred it if she had died, because this betrayal was so much worse than knowing she was gone.
“And now they’re on my doorstep again,” Sam sneered, looking up at her. “They’re here, and they’re going to attack. What did we do this time? What are they so afraid of this time?”
She flinched and took a step back.
“You’re not going anywhere,” he told her firmly, “we’re going to talk this through, you hear me?”
Willow nodded quickly. “Yes, of course. I won’t go anywhere.”
“I’m sorry,” he said blankly, “but I don’t know how to believe you anymore.”
He could tell that his words hurt her, but he couldn’t find it in himself to take them back. A part of him wanted to lash out, but he also wanted to believe the best in her. The child inside of him wanted to hug her tightly and beg her to take it all back.
“I didn’t mean to hurt you,” Willow said earnestly, “I didn’t even know if you were still alive.”
“It only took you over a decade to find out,” Sam said.
His voice was hard. He wasn’t prone to sarcasm, but it came out when he was upset. Over the years, he had been forced to grow tougher. There was no way he would have survived otherwise. Stupidly, he had been willing to let his guard down because of a dream. For the first time in years, he had looked beyond the present and gotten attached to a life that he could have.
“I’m sorry,” Willow said, “I really am. I was so angry with them at first. In the beginning, I felt like a prisoner, but they treated me so kindly. Morning Dove, you would have loved her, she was so kind to me. And she never wanted me to be anything more than I was.”
“You mean unlike your mother?” Sam asked, clenching his fists tightly. “She wanted to turn you into a lady, so she deserved to die? Your Morning Dove let you run around like a heathen, so she deserved love?”
Willow shook her head profusely. “No, none of them deserved to die.”
“Your mother was a good woman!” Sam insisted, his voice rising. “She made us lemonade in the summer. And she bound your wounds when you fell off Spirit. Yes, she may have been tough, but she only ever wanted the best for you and your brothers. Do you even remember your brothers?”
He glared at her with undisguised hostility.
“Sam, please,” she murmured, hanging her head. “I miss them every day. They were my family. I mourn their loss still.”
“How can you say that when you lived among their murderers?” Sam spat. “How could you even look at them without feeling guilty?”
“Our parents killed Indians too,” Willow said hotly. “How many times did our people kill Indians during raids? Do you think I don’t remember the posses that used to ride out every summer?”
“They were protecting us!”
“They killed people too!” Willow yelled.
Her voice echoed down the hall, and they realized what was happening. If they yelled too much, they would attract attention. Sam pursed his lips and glared at her.
“I’m sorry,” Willow said, looking surprised by her own reaction. “I want us to have a calm discussion, I really do. Please, Sam, at least hear what I have to say.”
Sam wanted to refuse. He wanted to have her thrown out. She would be able to rejoin her beloved tribe and he would go back to the way things were. His heart would harden again, and her betrayal would relieve him of some of his grief. Now there was one less person to mourn.
Instead, he kept his mouth shut and nodded for her to continue.
“There’s been violence on both sides,” she said, “and we’re all afraid of each other. I’m living proof that we can co-exist. We can make peace work.”
Sam scoffed. “You only co-existed with them because you knew they wouldn’t let you leave. You say that you loved them, but did you ever ask to go back? Did they ever apologize for killing your whole family?”
Willow didn’t answer him. It was all the answer he needed.
“Did you bring them here?” Sam asked.
“What?”
Willow had the grace to look horrified by his question. However, he didn’t trust her reaction. For all he knew, she could be acting. After all, she had kept this terrible truth from him for weeks. He had been played, and he wasn’t going to let that happen again.
“Did you lead your tribe to this place?” Sam asked, biting off his words angrily. He took a step toward her, and she hurriedly stepped back. “Did you bring them here to take everything we have? Did you make them send that Indian boy as a decoy?”
Willow shook her head quickly, her eyes filled with fear.
“You know, I suspected that there was something wrong with you and you made me seem like I was mad,” Sam said. “Do you remember that day? You got so angry. I thought for sure that I was losing my mind, but I was right all along.”
“You weren’t!” Willow insisted.
“Who was that boy?” Sam asked. “Don’t lie to me again, Willow.”
She looked like she wanted to cry. “His name is Restless One. I never saw him before he came here, but he was just a boy. I only wanted to help him get far away.”
“You hid his tracks.”
“Yes,” Willow said, “and I won’t apologize for that. He was lost and afraid. Your boys beat him up, and he was angry. I brought him food and took care of him. He promised that he wouldn’t seek retribution.”
“That’s some promise,” Sam snorted, “now his boys are back here looking for blood.”
“You don’t know that,” Willow said, crossing her arms over her chest.
She was still as stubborn as a mule. There was a time when he would have thought of her stubbornness affectionately, but now all he could think of was that it was standing in between the ranch and its safety.
“If I find out that you caused this…” Sam trailed off, trying to find a suitable consequence for her actions.
“What?” Willow asked, raising an eyebrow. “You’ll kill me?”
He baulked at the thought. No. Even though he felt betrayed, he would never be able to hurt Willow. She was still his childhood friend, his Eliza. The truth hit him hard, and he wanted to curl in a ball and close his eyes until everything bad passed away. No matter what she did to him, he would never be able to retaliate.
“No,” he said, shaking his head. “Never.”
“You see?” Willow asked, her eyes softening. “The violence needs to stop with us, Sam. It needs to end here. Otherwise, we’ll attack, and then they’ll retaliate then we’ll retaliate. Will we let our children grow up in that kind of world?”
Her words struck a chord, and he remembered his dream. The children had been innocent. They couldn’t move on so long as they were afraid of an attack. He was about to nod when he caught sight of all the guns on the wall.
“They killed our family,” Sam said, “if we do nothing, we’ll be sitting ducks. Now, at least we have another advantage and we’re going to use it.”
“We do?” Willow asked in confusion.
“Yes,” Sam said simply, “we’re going to use your knowledge against them. It’s time you proved where your loyalties lie, Eliza. I won’t call you by the name they gave you. You’re Eliza, and you lost as much as me that day. Here’s the deal, I’ll forget everything you told me, I won’t tell anyone else where you were. But you have to help us win this thing.”
Willow… no, Eliza, took a step back with a terrified expression. He was willing to give her a chance. His heart was bruised and battered, but he would give her one chance to make it better. He owed her that much at least. If she took the chance to earn his trust back, then they would be able to move forward.
“Sam,” she shook her head, “I can’t…”
“Think carefully,” he warned, “this is the only chance you’ll get. Tell us their strengths, their weaknesses. You grew up with them, you’ll know how we can undermine their attack strategy. I’m assuming you might know some of them…”
“I don’t even know if it’s my tribe!” Eliza snapped.
She looked like a cornered animal, and he hated the panic in her expression. It could only mean that her loyalties weren’t with him.
“The sheriff will want to send a scout to see what’s happening,” Sam said, “I’ll use the chance to find out which tribe it is. When I come back, you’re going to tell me everything I need to know.”
“Sam, please,” she said, shaking her head slowly. “You can’t truly want this. I know you better than anyone. You’re sweet and kind…”
“You knew me as a boy who never lost anything,” Sam reminded her, raising an eyebrow. “I’m a man who lost everything. I’m not afraid to lose you again, Eliza, so you’d better be sure what side you’re on. I’m giving you a good chance here, and that’s only because of your family. I’m giving you a chance to redeem yourself. Why, they must be rolling in their graves knowing what you’ve been up to.”
“I’m not your enemy,” Eliza said, the hurt evident on her face. “I’d like to think that my family would be happy to know that I was safe and well cared for.”
“I would have looked after you,” Sam said, trying not to let his own hurt shine through.
“You were a kid, Sam,” Eliza said, “you didn’t deserve that kind of burden. I was safe…”
“In the bosom of your family’s murderers,” Sam scoffed in disgust.
Eliza pressed her lips into a firm line and looked him right in the eye.
“You’re going to tell me what I need to know,” Sam said, his tone leaving no room for argument, “or you’ll leave this ranch and never come back.”
Chapter 19
“You don’t mean that,” Eliza said breathlessly. “Please, Sam, you don’t mean that.”
She didn’t know how to reach him. His expression was unreadable, and his body was bristling with anger. When she had imagined talking to him, she had known that he would be angry. Now that she was confronted by that anger, it made her feel worse than she thought possible.
“I never meant to hurt you,” Eliza said gently, “when I found out you were alive, it made me happier than I ever thought possible. This is why I came back. Don’t you see? I never forgot about you, not once. That day was the worst thing I ever lived through, and it stuck with me all that time. Those people showed me a love I never thought possible, and they helped heal my heart.”
“They broke it in the first place!” Sam said.
“No,” Eliza said, shaking her head. “They lost people too, dear loved ones. And they lashed out. Now, we have an opportunity to do something good. We could choose not to take revenge. Sam, aren’t you tired?”
His shoulders dropped. “I’m not looking for revenge, Eliza. I never was. Look at what I built. I didn’t pick up a gun and hunt ‘em down. Heaven knows that I thought about it; there was a time when I desperately wanted to. I’m not doing this, they are. I’d be a fool not to protect ourselves. Look at what happened last time.”
“Let’s be better,” Eliza suggested, “let’s be better than those who came before us. I know you. We can do this together. We can build a better tomorrow for those who come next.”
