Missed notes, p.15
Missed Notes, page 15
“I hate this. I hate it so much. But I can’t tell him, not yet. The playoffs are coming up and he’ll be crushed, Cole. It’s bad enough that you know.”
“Don’t say that.” I touched my head to hers. “Don’t ever say that. I can handle it, okay?”
Sofia’s breath caught.
“Sofe…”
“Yeah, okay.”
I stole a chaste kiss. “Now about that list.”
“Actually, I thought of something.”
“You did? Let’s hear it then.”
She curled her fist into my sweater and moved her mouth to my ear. “Fool around at a party.”
“Seriously?” I pulled back to look at her. Because I needed to see her eyes, to read the expression on her face.
An uncertain smile tugged at her lips, but she nodded. “Take me upstairs, Cole.”
“Y-yeah?” I choked out.
“I don’t know if I’m ready to have sex. But I think we could probably get to third base.”
“We don’t have to—”
“I want to.” She pulled me closer, letting her lips ghost over mine. I curled my hand around her hip, kissing her back.
“Only if you’re sure.”
“I am. I want you, Cole. I want you so much it hurts.”
Fuck.
This was the last thing I’d expected her to say. But I wasn’t about to turn her down. I’d give her whatever she wanted.
“Come on.” I took her hand and led her upstairs, praying to God Aaron didn’t spot us.
Hopefully Poppy was keeping him occupied.
Sofia trembled against me as we reached the second floor and I pulled her into my side.
“You good?”
She nodded, a faint smile tracing her mouth.
“What?” I asked.
Her smile grew. “Just you, Cole.”
My chest expanded at her words. Did she feel it too? The undeniable connection between us?
Since watching her faint that day at Bell’s, it was like something had snapped into place inside me. I hated seeing her so vulnerable and worried. And all I wanted to do was take that away for her, protect her, and keep her safe.
It’s out of your hands though.
I wasn’t a doctor. I couldn’t cure her. But I could be there for her. I could hold her hand when she got sick and lie with her when her body wouldn’t cooperate. I could offer her a glimmer of light in the darkness.
“What do we do? Just try all the rooms until we find an empty one?” A nervous laugh escaped her.
“I’m the quarterback,” I said. “It comes with some perks.”
“Oh, it’s like that, huh?”
“It’s exactly like that.”
Guiding Sofia to the end of the hall, I opened the last door and as expected found the room empty. It was the one room completely off-limits unless you were Deacon, or one of the senior players on the team apparently.
My heart raced in my chest as I pulled Sofia inside, locking the door behind us. “Hi.” I reached for her, curving my hand around her waist and drawing her into me.
“Hi.” She slipped her hands up my chest, and I wondered if she could feel the wild thud of my heart beneath her palm.
“We go at your pace, okay? There’s no pressure here, Sofe. I need you to know that.”
She gazed up at me and rolled her lips together, swallowing.
“You are so fucking beautiful.” I tucked her hair behind one ear, my thumb lingering on her cheek.
Her eyelashes fluttered as she inhaled a sharp breath. “Kiss me, Cole. I need for you to kiss me now.”
Gliding my hand around her neck, I fixed my mouth over hers. Kissing Sofia was like nothing else. Tingles barreled down my spine as our tongues met: slow, lazy licks that drove me fucking wild.
But I held back, letting her decide how quickly to move things. She made her choice, pulling me over to the bed. Sofia broke the kiss, looking right at me as she shucked off her jacket and pulled her soft green sweater over her head.
Fuck.
I’d died and gone to heaven. That was the only explanation for the vision standing before me.
“Cole, you have too many clothes on.” She chuckled. Hooking her fingers into her pants and pushing them down her hips.
“Shit, yeah, okay.” I made quick work of stripping out of my clothes, my smooth game completely obliterated the second I saw her body.
I’d seen it before, in the summer, swimming in the Bennets’ pool. But this was different. Then, I didn’t get to touch. I only had my fantasies, of which she’d always been a starring attraction.
Now I got to lay my hands on her skin. I got to map her curves with my fingertips, and if I was really fucking lucky, my mouth and my tongue too.
Fuck.
My dick ached behind my boxer briefs. As if she heard my thoughts, Sofia’s gaze dropped to my crotch and her eyes widened.
“Oh.” It was a small, surprised sound.
“I… uh, sorry.” I ran a hand through my hair and down the back of my neck. “But you get me so fucking hot, Sofe.”
“Show me,” she whispered. “I want you to show me, Cole.”
Sofia stepped into me, her hands landing on my bare chest. A bolt of heat went through me, and there was every chance this was going to be over before it even got started. I was only human though and she was a fucking dream.
One of her hands glided down my stomach and I sucked in a sharp breath. “Fuck, that feels— ah,” I groaned as she palmed me through the thin material. “Sofe, babe,” I choked out. “If you don’t stop that, this isn’t going to last very long.”
She looked up at me, lust and longing glittering in her eyes. “Sorry.”
A deep rumble of laughter vibrated in my chest. “Get on the bed,” I said. “I want to look at you.”
“I…”
I cupped the back of her neck. “You don’t need to be nervous with me, okay? You want to stop, we stop. You want to do something else; we do something else. Whatever you need, Sofe, I’ve got you.”
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Sofia
My body trembled as I lay on the bed, Cole’s hungry gaze following me.
I couldn’t believe I was doing this. But when he’d brought up the list, all I could think about was all the silly teenage things I hadn’t experienced yet.
Fooling around at parties.
Staying out all night.
Skinny dipping in the lake behind our house.
Letting a boy go down on me.
That last one was stuck in my mind on repeat. Because from the intense way Cole was looking at me, he was starving, and I was the only thing on the menu.
“Can I touch you?” He crawled over me, letting his arms take most of his weight, but the feel of his warm skin against mine was incredible.
“If you don’t, I’ll never forgive you.” My lips curved, and he smiled back.
His body was a work of art, one I was well acquainted with from spending summer after summer with him and Aaron and our friends. I ran my hands up the hard lines of his stomach and chest, loving the way his cut muscles contracted under my touch.
“Are you trying to drive me wild?”
“Maybe.” I smirked.
Who was I right now?
Bold. Confident. Sexy.
It was like Cole had given me the freedom to step into another persona for the night—one who took what she wanted and worried about the consequences later.
Cole kissed me. Only this kiss was different to the ones before. Urgent and desperate, his tongue plunged into my mouth, stealing the air from my lungs as he devoured me.
Letting his weight fall on me a little more, he rocked his hips forward and I whimpered when I felt him hard and thick, right up against me.
“Is this okay?” he murmured, sliding his hand under my thigh to lift me into him.
“Y-yes, don’t stop.”
“Fuck, Sofe. You feel so good and I’m not even inside you yet.”
Desire pulsed inside me. He knew all the right things to say to get me out of my head. To take me away from the living nightmare I’d found myself in.
His mouth trailed hot wet kisses over my jaw and down my throat. I angled my head to give him better access, reveling in the way his lips felt branding me. He licked and nipped, grazing my skin gently with his teeth.
“Cole,” I cried, arching into him. I needed more.
So much more.
“Touch me, please.”
“Shit, yeah, okay.” He rolled off me to the side, his hand sliding down my stomach and hovering at the waistband of my panties. “You sure?”
I nodded, unable to speak as his fingers brushed back and forth along my hip.
God, I was going to combust if he didn’t touch me—
Pleasure saturated me as his fingers dipped inside my underwear and glided over my clit.
“You’re so wet, babe.” He kissed me, flicking his tongue into my mouth in slow, shallow licks, mirroring the way he dragged his thumb over my clit.
“It feels… God, yes. Like that.”
Pleasure rippled through me, gathering low in my stomach. Cole upped his pace a little, pressing two fingers inside me.
“Oh yes…”
“You like that?”
“Mm-hmm,” I murmured, fisting the bedsheet.
“I want to make you come, Sofe.”
“Yes, yes… God yes…”
He lifted his head and chuckled. “I want to make you come with my tongue.”
“Oh.”
Oh.
Heat flashed inside me.
“Can I taste you?”
“Y-yeah.”
He pulled his fingers away and brought them to his lips, sucking them clean. It was so dirty, so freaking erotic, a violent shiver ran through me.
Cole shuffled down the bed, pushing my thighs apart with his broad shoulders. My hand went to his hair, and I ran my fingers through the soft strands.
“Tell me if it gets too much.”
I nodded. It was all I could do because he’d basically rendered me into a big pile of mush.
Sitting back on his haunches, Cole hooked his fingers into my panties and peeled them down my legs. It was a little tricky getting them off, but he managed and then he was back there, his face up close and personal with my most intimate parts.
It was instinct to want to cover myself, to shove him away and press my thighs together, but the second his tongue dragged up the length of me, all doubts melted away.
“God, that feels incredible…”
He used his fingers to spread me open and speared his tongue inside me without warning. Pleasure blasted through me as I gripped his hair. “Cole… God…”
He swirled his tongue over my clit while sliding two fingers back inside me. It was sensation overload, every nerve-ending inside me vibrating.
“You gonna come for me, Sofe?”
“Yes, yes…” I panted, writhing beneath him. It was too much. Not enough. The way his tongue and fingers worked together in perfect synchronicity.
“Ah… don’t stop. Don’t—”
The tight coil inside me snapped and a wave of pleasure crashed over me as I cried his name into the shadows.
Cole licked me through the orgasm, pressing little kisses over my thighs and hips before crawling back up my body.
“Hi,” he said around a smug grin.
“Hi. You look awfully pleased with yourself.”
“That was hands down one of the best moments of my life.”
I rolled my eyes at that.
“What? It’s true. Knowing you trusted me enough to touch you… it means a lot, Sofe.”
“You really are perfect, aren’t you?”
“Far from it.” He kissed me, tangling his tongue with mine. I could taste myself on him, but it was oddly hot.
“How do you feel?” He lay beside me, tucking me into his arm.
“Amazing.” I let out a soft sigh. “Will you let me touch you now?”
“Is that even a question?” He peeked down at me. “I will let you do whatever you want to me. Consider my body yours to use as you so please.”
“I’ve never… you know.” I blushed.
“You’re going to have to be a little more specific.”
“I’ve never given a guy a blow job before.” I rolled my eyes. “Will you show me what you like?”
“Sofe, I’m pretty confident there isn’t a single thing you could do to me that I wouldn’t enjoy.”
His words made my heart swell.
“Okay, I want to.”
I nudged him onto his back and straddled his hips. Cole sat up on his elbows and curved his hand around the back of my neck. “You don’t have to do this. There’s no rush.”
But there was.
Time was ticking.
Who knew how I’d feel during the cancer treatment?
What if I never felt like myself again?
No. I wanted to experience things now. While I was still me.
“I want to.” I leaned down and brushed a soft kiss over his lips before moving down his body.
It took a minute to find a comfortable position. One that let me kiss his abs, run my tongue over the hard ridges.
“Fuck, that feels… fuck.”
I smiled against him, gently nipping his hip with my teeth.
He was already hard, his dick straining against his boxers. I ran my hand over it, adding a little pressure.
Cole groaned. “Little tease.”
Why did I like the sound of that?
Dipping my head, I pressed open mouthed kisses along his pelvis while palming him through his briefs.
“Sofe,” he warned, lifting his ass to get closer to me.
“You said I could do whatever I wanted…” I batted my lashes at him, and he shook his head with silent laughter.
Slowly, I pulled his boxer briefs down his hips, enough that I could close my fist around him and pump him from root to tip.
“Jesus Christ,” he hissed.
“Is it okay?”
“More than okay.”
Pushing all my hair over one shoulder, I leaned down and flicked my tongue over the tip as I continued jacking him off.
“Fuck…” The word left his lips on a pained groan.
“It’s salty,” I said, licking again, taking a bit of him into my mouth.
“Yes. Fuck yes, just like that.” His hand curled into my hair, holding it out of the way.
There was something so hot about it, it spurred me on and gave me the courage to slide my mouth further down his length.
The second he hit the back of my throat, I gagged a little, but it was worth it to hear the deep rumble of approval in his chest.
“You are incredible,” he said, as I started to find a rhythm.
“Tell me how you like it.”
“Like that,” he rasped. “Yeah, just like that.”
I’d always been kind of turned off by the idea of putting a guy’s dick in my mouth, but obviously, I’d been with the wrong guys because watching Cole lose control under my touch was the best thing ever.
Hollowing my cheeks, I took him deeper, adding a little twist as I pumped the rest of him. He was big. Too big to take the whole way, but he seemed to enjoy what I was doing.
“I’m close, Sofe,” he said. “If you don’t want to swallow—”
“I do.”
I did. I wanted to watch as he came, to taste him, knowing it was all because of me.
“Like that… harder…” he instructed, so I worked him faster, tracing my mouth over the vein on the underside of his shaft and then swirling it over the tip.
“Gonna come. I’m gonna… fuck.”
I swallowed him down as he came in my mouth.
His hand slipped to my jaw, his thumb brushing my cheek as I licked my lips.
“You’re amazing.”
“It was okay?” I asked, a little sheepish.
“Okay? Sofe, you blew my fucking mind. Come here.” He pulled me up beside him and we lay facing each other.
“Was it okay for you?”
“I liked doing it more than I thought I would,” I admitted.
“There’s a whole list of things we can do, when you’re ready.” He kissed my forehead.
“We should probably go back to the party before—”
Cole’s cell phone started blaring.
“Ignore it.”
“I bet it’s Aaron.” It stopped, and sure enough, a text came through a second later.
“He’s a pain in my ass.” Cole reached over and grabbed it off the floor.
“What does it say?”
His brows furrowed and he said, “You don’t want to know.”
“Cole.” I snatched it out of his hands and read the text.
* * *
Aaron: I swear to God, Kandon. If you’re upstairs with my sister, I won’t be held responsible for my actions.
* * *
“Ugh. Poppy obviously didn’t do a very good job of distracting him.”
Cole pulled me tighter and kissed me again. “He’ll get over it. We could stay up here and really send him over the edge.”
“No, we should go hang out with them. He’s going to hate me when he finds out the truth. I need to make the most of the truce while I can.”
“You know, you could just tell him?”
I went stiff. “I’m not ready.”
“You’re going to have to pull off the Band-Aid eventually, Sofe.”
“I know. But he’s so close to making all his dreams come true. I can’t ruin that. I won’t.”
“Okay.” Cole sat up and pressed a kiss to my shoulder. “It’s your decision.”
“It is.”
And it was the right one.
Even if no one else agreed.
“He can’t take his eyes off you,” Poppy said over the music.
After me and Cole had come downstairs, we’d found Poppy and my brother outside under the pergola. Someone had set up a speaker and some of the other girls were dancing.
When Poppy had grabbed my hand to join them, I’d gone willingly. Because tonight was about all the good things in my life. My brother, my friends… Cole.
“Pops,” I warned.
“What? It’s so freaking cute. He’s falling hard for you, babe.”
