Darkfell vampire clan bo.., p.98
Darkfell Vampire Clan Boxset, page 98
Despite the lift that Caine’s blood gave me, despite the magic roiling inside me, I was bone tired. Nearly dying, after exterminating my enemies, had taken a toll.
“Upstairs,” Luthor told Cyrus. “I’ll send everyone home, and then the three of us are going to figure out if this changes anything.”
“It only changes things if we let it,” I insisted, but the words felt hollow. Of course, this changed everything. Drinking Caine’s blood bound me to him in yet another way but, mostly, made me feel like a traitor.
Cyrus swept me up in his arms and carried me upstairs. He set me on the bed and took off my soaking tennis shoes, stripped me down to my underwear, his hands impossibly gentle. Luthor ran a warm washcloth over my face and down my throat. I relaxed, and I let them take care of me.
Caine could give me his blood, promise me his undying support, but he could never offer me this.
He was a shallow, power-hungry male who was about as loyal as an alley cat. He only saw me as a stepping stone to power, when all the power in the world wouldn’t be enough to satisfy him. Despite being attracted to him… I knew exactly what Caine was.
And he had no idea.
Caine believed every word he said. He believed he was my savior, sworn to protect me, but at his core, he was an empty shell of a male, and he always would be.
Which is why I’d never entertained his interest as anything but an annoyance. Luthor and Cyrus had depths to them I had yet to explore. They were kind and ferociously protective to their bones. They loved me as fiercely as I loved them, and we shared a bond Caine would never understand.
Deston was my mate, we were tied together by the bond, but even that connection paled with how I felt about him. Desolation swirled where love had once been; my heart cracked in half where it had once been full. But he was still mine, as were Luthor and Cyrus. We belonged to each other and always would.
“You look better, Fina.” Luthor pushed me down onto the pillow while he laved warm water over my arms. “Not a single mark and no black veining. Thank God.”
“It was bad. When Fleur saw me that first time, she looked horrified.”
“I thought it was incurable,” Cyrus admitted. “Not even blood could undo the poison.”
“Do you think Caine’s blood really cured me? Or like Marie’s magic, it’s just a temporary fix?”
“Marie can answer that question.” Cyrus curled up beside me. “All I care about right now is you’re safe and healthy.” His warmth sank into me, his mouth pressing against my shoulder.
I wanted to drift off into sleep and not worry about anything. But damn Caine for planting doubts in my head. Damn him for manipulating me into asking.
“Where did you go, Cyrus?” My fingers danced down his neck and across his chest. “No lies this time. I need to know what you were doing.” Luthor paused in the bathroom doorway, taking us both in, his face unreadable.
“I did see Queen Maeve. I was in Ireland, and I did convince her to throw her support behind you.” Cyrus paused before glancing up at Luthor. “All that was true. But there was another reason. Luthor can help me explain.”
“It’s that bad, huh?”
Luthor sank onto the bed, his battered knuckles still bleeding. “It’s bad, Fina,” he agreed and slid in behind me, one huge arm banding me tightly.
“But we’re not talking about this tonight, not when you nearly died. Tomorrow, we’ll tell you everything. And no matter what, we’re not letting you face this alone.”
20
SERAPHINA
I must’ve dozed off because, when I finally woke up, I was crushed between two hard-muscled bodies. I was too warm, but this felt beyond good. Safe. I didn’t know what their big secret was, but even Cyrus said it was bad, and he usually sugarcoated everything.
After a few minutes, I wiggled out from between the heat, stifling a scream when I saw the dark form sitting in the shadows, staring at me with embers glowing in his eyes.
It’s just me, Seraphina, Deston’s murmur echoed down the bond. I know you told me to stay away, but I couldn’t bear it. Not for another minute.
I slid out of bed, snatched one of Luthor’s giant shirts, and slipped it over me. It was midmorning, and I was sure the staff was bustling around downstairs. I motioned Deston out into the hall, then led him to a spare room where we wouldn’t be overheard.
“You thought sitting in my bedroom at night and watching me sleep was a good way to comply with my wishes?” My shadows wrapped around me, curling around my feet.
“No. You sent me a text saying you were under attack. I had to make sure you were all right.” He dragged a hand over his face, and I tried not to notice how gaunt he was. “Nor could I just leave things like that. I never meant to hurt you.”
“It’s too late for that,” I said, my voice echoing the coldness I felt. “It’s too late for apologies, it’s too late for…” I crossed my arms over my chest. “What do you want from me, Deston? Why did you even come?”
“I’ve been working for weeks on a plan to protect you, Seraphina. I just… I cannot explain it to you, not until I’m sure this will succeed.”
“Of course, you can’t. Because that would require letting me in to your life. Trusting me.”
He eyed me warily, his eyes dimming, a flash of fear crossing his face before he schooled it back into a hard mask of indifference.
“That’s right,” I purred, feeling utterly evil, “go ahead and hide. You do it so well.”
“Who was it? Were you hurt?” He scanned me from head to toe, as if confirming I was all right.
“Only Vane Carpathian and his little evil cadre of conspirators. Of course, this came on the heels of last week’s assassination attempt, which also, thankfully, failed.” I sounded bitchy-evil, and I didn’t even care. “You would know all about it if you hadn’t blocked our mating bond.” I sucked in an angry breath. “Or do you know, and just don’t care?”
“When did Vane attack?” His low whisper hummed with barely restrained rage, which only egged me on.
“Oh, you know. Tonight. Perhaps you noticed the craters in the front yard. But no worries, we took care of the threat with a little help from Caine.” Why I threw Caine’s name in there, I didn’t know. Only because, somehow, I knew I’d get a rise out of my mate. “No need to help protect our home.” Or me, I didn’t add.
“I saw the smoking ruin of the yard. I tried to find you, but there was nothing on the other end of our bond,” he muttered, pacing to the other side of the room, his body thrumming with unspent magic. Good, I hoped he was upset.
“And now you know how it feels.” His lips tightened, but he didn’t argue, so I went even further. “To be cut off from the person you love, to realize they are doing this purposefully, knowing they’re hurting you.”
“This was different.” Fear made his mouth tighten into a thin line as his carefully constructed mask fell apart. “It was almost… like you were dying.”
“I suppose…” I watched him through narrowed eyes. I should be gentle, but I was still so angry with him. He’d lied to me. He didn’t deserve gentle. He was going to have to work to earn my trust back. “I suppose that’s because I was dying.”
Deston blew out a harsh breath, as if somebody just punched him in the stomach and all the air had gone out of his lungs. “What do you mean?”
“I’ve been sick. Something called Medullis Syndrome.” I shook my head. “It’s a blood disorder that’s tied to magic. I overdid it last night.” I held his burning gaze. “I slipped away for a moment. But I’m better now.”
“Medullis Syndrome is not something you get over, Seraphina.” There was utter panic in his voice, but I still wasn’t giving in. He should be panicked. He’d totally ghosted me at a time when I needed him most. And I still didn’t know why.
“I’m fine. It’s been taken care of.”
“How?” His eyes had gone inky dark, nothing in them except shadows. I knew it was petty and spiteful, but I wanted Deston to suffer just enough to know he was truly sorry. He could damn well grovel, and even then, I might just stay pissed for a while longer.
“How did you cure an illness that has no cure?” He took a step closer, and I held my ground, knowing full well who he’d scent on me, and the explosion behind the discovery.
He drew a deep breath, his eyes widening.
“Fucking hell, Seraphina. Tell me you did not drink from that bastard?”
“I won’t lie to save your feelings. Caine offered me a choice, and I drank his blood to save my life.” I snorted, leaving out the part where I’d actually enjoyed it. “I’m not dying a martyr when I have a chance to live.” My gaze slid away from his. “Things had gotten… bad.”
“I should have been there, mon amour,” he murmured, and a tendril of heat licked the mating mark on the back of my neck. “I should have stayed close.”
“Yes. You should have.”
I stared up at him, taking in the harsh lines etched on his face, and some of my anger ebbed away. “I’ve never questioned the things you did to survive Katarina. Don’t you dare question my choices now.”
He scrubbed his face again. “I’m not questioning… Okay, maybe I am, but why Caine, of all fucking people?”
“Why not him?” I asked, curiosity bubbling to the surface.
Deston was acting differently. He’d shed all signs of his cold, calculating veneer. There was a wild, frantic quality to his body language, his voice cracked with emotion. As if what I’d done had altered his entire world.
“Let me remind you, I did the same for you. After the revenant attack, on the field outside of the palace. Even though I knew there would be consequences, I fed you my blood because I wasn’t about to let you die.”
I was so tired of these games.
They had to be worse than the truth ever could be, and they were tearing us apart.
“What’s going on, Deston? Hiding from me… hiding whatever this secret is… won’t fix anything.” I met his gaze steadily. “You’ve done real damage. I hope you understand that. I can’t trust you, not now. Maybe not ever.” Something flashed in the depths of his eyes. Realization, maybe, that I meant what I said.
“If you want anything from me, the first thing you have to do is tell me the truth.”
“It’s complicated. And quite frankly, unbelievable.” Deston raked a hand through his unkempt hair. “You will need an open mind, Seraphina. And I mean that in the truest sense of the word. Because nothing I have to say will sound plausible.”
“Try me,” I told him. How bad could it be? I’d processed enough strangeness in the past few months to last me a lifetime. It shouldn’t surprise me that there was more waiting on the horizon.
“Caine is dangerous. In ways that you cannot possibly understand.” He moved closer, stretched out one hand. His fingers nearly brushed my face before he pulled back.
“Some people are born evil. They spend their lives exploiting other people, situations, anything they can to their benefit. They don’t try to be different or better. They’d never found anything in their life to live for, anything other than themselves that’s worth protecting.
“I was on that track myself until I met you. Once I realized we were mates, I had something more important than myself to live for. You make me want to be better. You make me want to be good. You make me want ridiculous things—like love and a family and a home.”
He shook his head. “Caine doesn’t know how to want any of that. He has a hole inside himself he’s trying to fill, and all the power and control in the world won’t do it.”
I’d told myself practically the same thing last night.
“I’m well aware of what Caine is. I raised him from the dead, remember? I live with that regret every day, wondering what damage he’s going to cause, worrying about who he’s going to hurt.”
“You have no idea what he is, Seraphina.” Deston shook his head. “None of you do.”
“But you do, I suppose?” I asked. “By keeping that information to yourself, you’re just as culpable as him if something happens.”
“Which is what I’m trying to prevent. I haven’t abandoned you at all, Seraphina. I’ve been trying to figure out how to help you put Caine back in the ground—where he belongs.”
I could only stare at my mate. Of all the ways I’d considered dealing with Caine, putting him back in that cell two hundred feet beneath the earth was not one of them. “You can’t be serious?”
“Completely. The world was a better place without him.”
Yeah, I’d just said those very words to Vane and felt utter confidence they were true. But that was cleanly ending a life, not burying someone underground to suffer for an eternity.
“Whereas I cannot stand the thought of any sentient creature locked in a cage.”
“And that, ma petite, is where your soft heart comes into play.” His face softened, and I thought I glimpsed tears in his eyes when he reached out for me, such longing on his face my heart hurt.
I took a step back.
I’d just had a revelation, and it couldn’t be true.
“You once told me that was my best feature,” I murmured, searching his face, a hollow pit growing in my stomach. “Where did you learn that expression? About having a soft heart?”
“It was something my mother used to say.” Deston shrugged. “She thought people with soft hearts were weak. I always thought it meant something completely different.”
“Your mother?” I started noticing little details about his face that I’d never noticed before. The way his black hair curled at the ends, the sharp cut of his jaw, the slight tilt to his eyes.
There was a shout, a lot of grumbling next door, then my bedroom door flew open with a slam. “Seraphina? Where are you?” Luthor shouted, his lumbering footsteps paused, then drew closer.
I was too busy measuring up Deston to even answer.
What I was thinking was crazy. It couldn’t be true.
“You can either leave now or face Luthor. It’s your choice. But if you stay, I warn you, he’s in quite the mood. He already beat Caine to a pulp, and he’ll be irate about you not keeping your distance.”
“You’re my mate,” Deston snarled, the first burst of temper I’d seen from him tonight. “I can’t keep my distance from you.”
“Well, try,” I snapped back. “You’re still lying to me, even now. You might be trying to figure out how to get rid of Caine, but you’re hiding something else. “
He shook his head. “I’m not… you’re my mate, it’s nearly impossible for me to keep anything from you.”
Nearly. It was like someone had wrapped their fingers around my heart and squeezed. Every heartbeat hurt, every breath I drew was hard. How could I have been so wrong about him? How had I ever convinced myself he would never betray me, when of course he would? It was in his blood.
“That’s where you want to leave this?” I was close to tears, but I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of seeing me break. He hadn’t fixed anything by coming here.
He’d made everything worse.
“Mon amour…”
“I think you should leave, Deston. Luthor will be here any second, and I don’t need a drag down fight right now.” My magic was screaming to be used, to destroy something.
He scoffed. “I can handle Fontaine with one hand tied behind…”
I cut him off. “I’m not talking about Luthor.” My throat was closing up, and magic was heating my palms. “I’m talking about me.
“Now get out.”
21
SERAPHINA
When Luthor burst through the door, there was an empty spot where Deston had been.
“Where is he?” Luthor growled, scanning the room. “I thought you told him to stay away?”
“Would you?” I shrugged, worn out from this never-ending drama. “Would you stay away, Luthor, even if I told you to?”
He shifted uncomfortably on his feet.
“He didn’t commit some heinous crime,” I explained, my voice sounding listless. “He came here to talk. We talked, now he’s gone.”
“Then this is a good time for what Cyrus and I have to tell you.” Every word dropped like a rock into my stomach. This had something to do with Deston. I just knew it. And I had a feeling Caine was fanning the flames.
I didn’t know how Caine was involved, but he was involved, all right.
“You want to do this upstairs?” I asked quietly, “or downstairs in front of the staff?”
Luthor’s face went still as I went on, “I know Cyrus didn’t go to Ireland to drum up support. He’s been gone a month, Luthor. My guess is, he was digging up dirt on Deston. So, let’s get down to it, shall we?”
Luthor had the decency to look ashamed. “I’m sorry, Seraphina. We should’ve been straight with you from the beginning.”
“Yes, you should have.”
There was a thud, a curse, and then Cyrus staggered in, tugging on his jeans. “Did you…?” He spotted me, his eyes going over me quickly before an expression of relief crossed his face.
“Oh good. I heard Luthor yell, and then I smelled my cousin, and…” He looked between my crossed arms and Luthor. “Ooooh-kay, we’re having this conversation now, I take it?”
I plopped down on a dusty, unused bench. “Carry on, tell me everything you dug up on Deston.” I was sure there was a lot. He’d toppled empires, helped queens rise to the throne, and was perfectly lethal when he had to be.
There was probably an entire graveyard of skeletons in his closet, and I didn’t care about any of them. He was my mate, and somehow, even with his lies, I knew whatever he was hiding, he was doing it to protect me. It didn’t make me any less pissed, though.
“It’s complicated, Seraphina.” Luthor stayed near the door and leaned his shoulder into the doorjamb. “And somewhat unbelievable.”
Yeah, where had I heard that before?
Cyrus sat next to me and put his arm around my shoulders. “You’re going to be okay, Seraphina. You are.”
