I shook my head. “I have no idea. I thought…” I peered at Andras. “I thought you two were supposed to be gone after I…” I gestured at Cory and myself. Cory’s lips thinned, the hurt in his expression shifting to something frostier and more closed off.

  “We’re here to find you a companion,” Raziel said cheerfully, oblivious to the air turning weird between Cory and me. “Our work isn’t done!”

  “But you said…” I shook myself. “You said you were here to get me laid.”

  “And find you a companion.” Andras gave a derisive snort. “Does anyone around here read the briefings? Or at least the fecking contract you signed?”

  “But isn’t…” I stared at him. Then at Raziel. Then at Cory.

  And my heart sank.

  Oh. Well. I guess that settled that. Good thing I hadn’t gotten around to spilling my guts to Cory and telling him I wanted something more, because if Andras and Raziel were here, then…

  Then I guess I had my answer.

  But then I realized that all the heat in Cory’s expression—all the warmth, the affection, the hunger—was gone, though I couldn’t decide if he looked ready to break or ready to lose his temper. Maybe both.

  Wait. Was I misreading the moment?

  I opened my mouth to speak, but he was faster.

  “Maybe we should call it a night,” he said flatly. His eyes pleaded with me to read between the lines: I need you to go. Now.

  Oh, fuck. I didn’t even know where to start to do damage control right now, and I sure as shit couldn’t do it with Andras and Raziel literally looking over my shoulders. I’d already been mentally reeling from everything we’d done tonight. Already trying to process how we’d made it into his bed and where the hell we went from here.

  Now the only place he wanted me to go was out.

  Okay. Okay, we could step away and catch our breath. Somehow, I could figure out how to do some goddamned damage control, but not until Cory could handle being in the same room with me.

  Neither of us said a word as I found what clothes had made it into his bedroom. I dressed, murmured that we’d talk soon, and headed out, intending to pick up my remaining clothing and then get the hell up to my own apartment.

  I almost had my hand on the bedroom doorknob when his voice halted me in my tracks.

  “Matt.”

  Though I wasn’t sure I could face him again tonight, I turned. And goddammit, the hurt in his eyes was too damn much.

  So was the shakiness in his voice as he said, “I want to help you get rid of them. I do. But I can’t…”

  I lowered my gaze as shame knotted in my stomach. “I know. I’m sorry. I—”

  “If anyone can break the spell, it’s the Trickster King.” Cory’s voice sounded close to cracking. “And he owes me a favor.”

  I locked eyes with him again. “You’d… let me use…”

  He was the one to look away this time, but not fast enough to hide the shimmer above his lower lashes. “Yeah. Just, um… Just let me know.”

  That shame wound even tighter. Galen didn’t give out favors to just anyone, and no one in their right mind would piss away one he had on reserve. But I didn’t think this was just Cory being the most amazing friend I could ask for—he was doing this for himself, too. Because he wouldn’t abandon me to the consequences of this stupid spell—that wasn’t who he was—but he also couldn’t stand another minute of helping me. Not after everything we’d done. Everything I’d asked of him. Everything I’d taken from him.

  Escaping the heartache I was bringing him was worth letting go of a favor from the Trickster King.

  I swallowed hard, my own voice shaky. “I can’t take—”

  “I can’t take another minute of this,” he shot back, facing me with the full force of his pain in those tear-filled eyes. “I’d rather lose that favor than lose my friend, and after tonight…” He closed his eyes and wiped at them.

  I didn’t push him to elaborate. It was clear enough—after tonight, we’d strained our friendship to its breaking point, and despite no doubt being angry and hurt and wishing I’d just leave already, he was willing to give up whatever he could to keep us from pushing past that point.

  I suddenly couldn’t stay here a second longer. The post-sex awkwardness had nothing on this, and I couldn’t take it. I suspected he wanted me gone, too, so I cleared my throat. “We’ll talk in the morning.”

  Then I left.

  By some miracle, I didn’t forget to grab my remaining clothes. Somehow, I found my keys, too, and I remembered which one would let me into my apartment.

  Raziel started to say something on the way up the stairs, but I put up a hand. “No. I don’t want to hear another word tonight.”

  He sputtered in protest. Andras sighed and told him, “Leave him be, Razi.”

  “But—”

  “Let the man sleep.”

  As if sleep was going to happen any time soon, but at least the two of them were silent after that.

  Mere minutes after I’d been wrapped up in Cory’s amazing arms in his rumpled bed…

  I was home.

  And even with the silent angel and demon on my shoulders…

  I was more alone than I’d been before I’d had dinner with Bridget.

  Chapter 13

  Cory

  Nothing I’d ever experienced came close to the ecstasy of sex with Matt.

  And nothing came anywhere near the crushing hurt of realizing Andras and Raziel were back. What that meant.

  Fuck. Really, Matt?

  Yeah. Really. Because apparently in all the chaos and confusion, Matt—Matthew A. Russo, Esquire, ever the thorough and detail-oriented lawyer—had missed the part where Andras was just being crass about getting him laid. That was the only explanation I could land on. Because he’d thought getting dicked down would do the trick, but no, they’d been here to find him a companion. More than a warm body with a hard cock. More than a hookup.

  More than whatever he’d wanted from me last night.

  Christ. Who knew I could actually feel worse than I had when I’d wished Matt knew I was into him?

  I muttered some curses as I rolled out of my otherwise empty bed and onto my feet. I was exhausted and drained like I’d never been before—so emotionally wrung out I could barely move—but I suddenly needed to take the hottest shower I could stand. I felt disgusting. The sex had been amazing, but now that Matt was gone…

  How could I be so stupid?

  That was easy enough—because I was stupid when it came to Matt. He was everything I wanted in a man, and for him, I’d been a means to an end. One that hadn’t even worked.

  Letting the hot spray run over my back and shoulders, I rubbed my eyes and sighed. Maybe I should be grateful Andras and Raziel had been there. They’d been a bucket of ice water over an otherwise amazing moment, but they’d been a bucket of cold hard truth. They’d shown themselves, and in doing so, they’d shown Matt for what he was.

  Could I even be angry at him? If I’d had those two following me around, not to mention the clock ticking down on a very brief window of time when they wouldn’t always be following me around, I’d have done desperate shit, too.

  I just hadn’t imagined I’d be the thing Matt would do out of desperation.

  My eyes stung. Why did I care if I cried? It wasn’t like anyone was going to see or hear me.

  Probably because I hated this feeling, and I hated letting it crash over me the way it was so determined to do. But I was too exhausted and crushed to fight it, so… I didn’t.

  I braced a hand against the cold wall to keep my balance, and I let the dam break. Let myself feel the hurt of knowing—not just suspecting, but knowing—that Matt was out of my league. Let that amazing sex replay in my mind alongside the reality that it hadn’t been anything to him. Nothing except an orgasm and—he’d hoped—what he needed to break a curse.

  Where the fuck did all that leave me?

  It doesn’t matter to Matt.

  That hit me in the chest. No, I didn’t know where this left me, but the fact that it didn’t matter to him… That he’d happily used me to try to get out of the agreement his dumb ass had made with the fae…

  I kind of wanted to rescind my offer to let him use my favor from the Trickster King, but… no. No, I couldn’t do that, and I wouldn’t.

  Because fuck me, but no matter what Matt did, no matter how little he cared about me…

  I still loved him.

  I’d still do any goddamned thing for him.

  I squeezed my eyes shut as more hot tears slid free.

  Would you even care if you knew what you were doing to me, Matt?

  In that moment, I was glad he’d left. I was relieved he wasn’t here for me to ask.

  Because I really didn’t want to know.

  Chapter 14

  Matt

  The maelstrom of emotions churning inside me had been too much to sort out. Between the sex and the heartache, I’d been exhausted, and I hadn’t been able to think anymore.

  I’d barely been able to speak, my voice so close to cracking as I told Andras and Raziel, “Just… leave me alone for the rest of the night, okay? I need to…”

  Sleep? Think? Cry? Well, in the end, I did manage two of those things.

  Now I was right where I’d been when this whole shitshow had started—staring at myself in my bathroom mirror, my jaw scruffy and my eyes bloodshot as I tried to comprehend the angel and demon perched on my shoulders.

  It wasn’t the same level of shock this time. And the red in my eyes had nothing to do with alcohol. The panic roiling in my chest wasn’t the same either, but like last time, I couldn’t figure out what to do with it.

  My voice came out raw and brittle: “I don’t understand. Why are you guys still here?”

  From their respective perches, Andras and Raziel eyed me like I’d lost my mind.

  “What do you mean?” Raziel asked. “We left while you were, as you put it”—he made air quotes—“‘on the prowl,’ and while you were, um…” He actually blushed, which would’ve been funny if I hadn’t been this close to curling up on the floor and sobbing.

  Andras rolled his eyes. “While he was getting railed up the arse by his neighbor?”

  Raziel turned even redder.

  I glared at Andras. “So you weren’t there, but you know what I was doing.”

  He rolled his eyes again. “Well, I do now.”

  “For fuck’s sake.” I pressed a hand against the counter and wiped the other over my face. Dropping that hand to the counter, I glared at both of them in the mirror. “I just don’t get it—why are you still here after last night?”

  “Why wouldn’t we be?” Raziel asked as if I’d just asked the stupidest question ever. “Our work isn’t done.”

  “The hell it isn’t!” I groaned. “You said you were here to get me laid. I got laid. So why…” I pointed at each of them. “Do I have to do a survey or some shit before you leave?”

  “You think last night counts?” Andras scoffed. “If you just needed to help someone polish his knob, we’d have put you on Grindr the first night and got on with it.”

  I blinked. “But… we did put me on Grindr. And Tinder. And… It still doesn’t matter. You said you were here to—”

  “We’re here to find you a companion,” Raziel said.

  “But he said you were here to—”

  “My colleague has been known to oversimplify matters.” Raziel shot Andras a look. Andras silently mocked his words.

  I narrowed my eyes. “Oversimplify them, how?”

  “Well.” Raziel straightened a little and cleared his throat. “Carnal relations are certainly, well, if that’s what you want—but it’s not the whole deal. I said we were here to find you a companion.” He huffed and sounded seriously smug as he added, “You read the agreement just like I read the briefing. You know the deal.”

  “Yeah, I did,” I croaked.

  Except… oh fuck. I hadn’t. I’d been so fixated on and panicked over the visibility of Andras and Raziel, I’d overlooked… everything. The specifics of what qualified as a “companion” to break this spell. I was a fucking lawyer. I did this for a living. I… God, I was so stupid.

  Except…

  “I’m still confused. Last night wasn’t just a hookup.” I threw up my hands. “How the fuck doesn’t it count when I spent the night with a man I’ve been in love with for years?”

  Neither of the beings on my shoulders responded. They stared at me. I stared at them.

  Then I met my own eyes in the mirror.

  And my words echoed in my ears.

  “How the fuck doesn’t it count when I spent the night with a man I’ve been in love with for years?”

  My shoulders drooped beneath Andras and Raziel, nearly unloading the former. “Because he doesn’t feel the same way.”

  “Oh, for fuck’s sake!” Andras snapped his wings, and this time he caught my ear, which stung. Unaware of or not caring about that part, he stomped on my collarbone and stared at me in the mirror, gesturing sharply at me. “Are you mad? Or just daft?”

  I blinked. “What are you talking about?”

  “You don’t think he feels the same way?” Andras groaned, rolling his eyes. “Fucking hell, Razi. We should’ve been taking this man to an optician instead of shopping.”

  Raziel just nodded.

  I stared at both of them. “What are you talking about? If he feels the same way, then why the fuck did you two show up and ruin the moment?”

  The angel shrugged. “You were pulling away. We showed up to assist!”

  “Assist?” I narrowed my eyes. “By making him think all I wanted from him was a hookup? Christ, I…”

  I trailed off as I ran through where my thoughts had been in the moments before Andras and Raziel had appeared. I’d been panicking. Certain we’d royally fucked everything up. Ready to bail like a goddamned coward so I could have a moment to pull my thoughts together and…

  And leave Cory alone while I figured myself out.

  “Oh my God,” I breathed, and hung my head. “I’m so fucking stupid.”

  “Now he gets it,” Andras said.

  I batted him off my shoulder, but even his indignant squawk wasn’t enough to break through the dark cloud settling over me. “Why the fuck did you try to tell me before that sleeping with Cory would fix this?”

  Andras sighed theatrically. “Because we thought once you idiots got into bed, you’d take it from there!” He threw up his hands again and snapped his wings. “But here we fucking are!”

  Yeah. Here we fucking were. So damn stupid.

  “So what now?” My voice sounded pathetic to my own ears as I whispered, “I don’t know what to do. I just… I love him so damn much.”

  “Then tell him,” Raziel prodded gently.

  I squeezed my eyes shut, pretending they didn’t sting. “He probably hates me after last night.” Hell, I hated me after last night. I’d gone from having the most incredible sex ever to watching all that pain register on Cory’s face as he’d realized—falsely—that it hadn’t meant anything to me. That he hadn’t meant anything.

  “He’s gonna rightfully hate you if you keep blubbering and feeling sorry for yourself,” Andras said. “Get your arse down there and talk to him, you fucking numpty.”

  I half-expected Raziel to chastise him for the harsh comment or the language, but he didn’t. When I met the angel’s gaze in the mirror, his expression said nothing if not, “Well? Why are you just standing here?”

  And… why was I just standing there?

  Because every second Cory didn’t know how I really felt was another second of him hurting and quite possibly hating me.

  A surge of both panic and determination had me standing straighter. I needed to do this. Now. Right the hell now.

  “You two, stay—” I thought fast. “Fifteen minutes. Give me fifteen minutes.”

  “As you wish,” Raziel said.

  Andras gave a flippant shrug.

  Then they were both gone.

  My pulse surged and I sprinted out of the bathroom.

  And halfway down the hall, I darted back in to brush my teeth. If this went well, then I wasn’t about to spoil it with morning breath.

  With my mouth tasting a bit more pleasant, I once again hurried down the hall, then out of my apartment and down the stairs. I pounded on his door as frantically as I had the morning Andras and Raziel had first appeared. Maybe a little more frantically. Because somehow I was in an even bigger panic now than when I’d awakened to find a pair of winged weirdos on my shoulders.

  Just as it had that first day, the deadbolt clicked and door opened.

  Just as he had that first day, Cory met my gaze across the threshold.

  But this time, his expression wasn’t full of concern or worry.

  No, those beautiful eyes were regarding me uneasily. Suspiciously, even. And when they flicked from my left shoulder to my right, some hurt crept in as he said, “Looks like you got rid of them.” His smile was thin, hinting at more of the hurt in his eyes. “Glad I could help.”

  “No, I asked them to—I’ve only got fifteen minutes. Probably closer to ten now. But I—”

  “The Trickster King favor. Right.” He stood aside and gestured for me to come in. “Let me get the—”

  “No! I’m not here for…” I paused to collect my thoughts. I didn’t want to do this out here. If I humiliated myself, fine, but he didn’t deserve to have our neighbors staring at us. Voice as calm as I could manage—and that didn’t say much—I said, “I’m not coming to ask for anything from you. Just… can we talk?” I nodded past him. “Inside?”

  The suspicion and hurt hung on tight, but curiosity pushed one eyebrow up ever so slightly. Swallowing hard, Cory stepped aside and gestured for me to come in.

  And as soon as the door was shut and we had the privacy he deserved, I started talking, and I started talking fast.

 

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