Reckless, p.31
Reckless, page 31
I could melt from the heat in his gaze.
“Knowing what I need exactly when I need it. Ripping my dresses. Dimples that make me—”
In a single step, he’s closed the distance between us and pulled my mouth to his.
He kisses me deeply, breathing me in. I melt against him, memorizing the feel of his hands running over my body. I press a hand to his cheek while one of his finds my hair, threading it between his fingers.
I pull away just far enough to pant, “Have you really counted my freckles?”
“All twenty-eight of them,” he breathes before kissing me hard. “Though, you might have more now from the sun.” Another quick kiss. “I’ll have to do a recount.”
My laugh has him pulling me closer, nipping at the tip of my nose with his teeth.
I wrap my arms around his neck. He is my anchor, and I am willing to sink, so long as it is with him.
With each kiss, he captures the three words I’m too scared to say. I hope he can taste them on the tip of my tongue, read them on the curve of my lips. Because uttering the words feels like a death sentence. Every person I’ve ever loved has left me.
I’m cursed to lose in love. But that is what I feel for him, what I’ve felt even when I hated him. Because hating him was easier than hating myself for wanting him.
So I bite my tongue. I fight the urge to shout those three seemingly harmless words at him. Because wherever I love, people die. And I’d rather love him silently than mourn him loudly.
He pulls away, breathing heavy. “You need to get out of here.”
Slipping my dagger from his boot, he crouches before the chain tethering us together. “What about you?” I stammer. “What about your mission. And Kitt—”
“Don’t worry about me.” He wedges the blade between the seam of the cuff around my ankle, trying to pry it apart. “I can handle Kitt. He already thought I wouldn’t be able to bring you back anyway.”
“He did?”
He huffs humorlessly. “Yeah. He figured I would do exactly what it is I’m doing now—letting you go.” He strains against the handle of my dagger. “It seems he was right to doubt me.”
I drop down beside him, crushing poppies beneath me. “What does this mean?”
He doesn’t answer, eyes trained on the stubborn chain.
“Kai. What does this mean?”
He stops long enough to look up at me. “It means you are going to get as far away from here as possible. I’ll stall the search for you as long as I can, but you need to find a way to get to Izram by then.”
I shake my head. “No.”
“Yes, Pae.”
“No.” My voice is stern. “No, I’m sick of running. And I won’t spend the rest of my life doing it unless it’s you I’m running back to.”
“Then I’ll spend the rest of my life tracking you down,” he says quietly. “Glimpsing you in the shadows. Fighting you in the streets. Dancing with you in my dreams. Because living without you is only bearable when I know you are out there still living too.”
“Please,” I whisper.
“Kitt won’t let me stop hunting you.” He puts a hand to my cheek. “You have to—”
He stops abruptly, his head tilting slightly to the side.
“What?” I ask hesitantly. “What is it?”
He says nothing, a muscle ticking in his cheek the only movement.
“Kai?”
His eyes meet mine suddenly. “They’re coming.”
“Who is?”
“Kitt must have my men searching the edge of the city for me,” he mutters under his breath. “They spotted us. Two Flashes, coming fast.”
My throat goes dry.
Kai slings the pack over his shoulders before pulling the bow across his chest. He reaches up to touch my face but thinks better of it when he glances over his shoulder.
I see them now, two blurry figures speeding toward us. It feels odd to see abilities at work after spending so many days without them. So many glorious days where everyone was equally as Ordinary as I was.
“Hey, look at me,” he murmurs. I turn to meet his hard gaze. “I need you to play along. Can you do that?”
“Playing a part is something I’m rather familiar with,” I say evenly.
He nods. “Be smart. I’m going to fix all of this. I promise.”
Now it’s my turn to nod. His eyes flick between mine, and it’s a struggle to not throw myself into his arms. “You are my proof of a paradise,” he murmurs with a quick flick of my nose.
Then he turns toward the figures closing in on us, mouthing a single word I barely catch.
Pretend.
CHAPTER 47 Paedyn
“It’s about time you spotted us out here.”
Kai’s voice is cold, callous in a way I forgot it could be. He walks ahead to meet the men, dragging me carelessly behind him.
“Y-Your Highness,” one of them stutters, bowing quickly while the other follows. “We were expecting you days ago. Thought something might have happened…”
Kai stares the man down for an uncomfortable moment, crossing his arms over his chest. “You’re new.”
The Imperial shifts on his feet. “Uh, yes, sir.”
Kai—the Enforcer—nods. “So, you haven’t yet learned that questioning my abilities is a sure way to lose your tongue.” The man grows paler with each word. “So let this be a lesson. A warning.”
I’ve seen him treat his Imperials like this before, seen how obvious his disdain for them is. But I hadn’t realized how much of it is a facade, a show of power and control. The line between respect and fear is a fine one, and after this disaster of a mission, he’s reminding everyone exactly who he is.
“Now get this chain off me,” he says simply.
The men stumble forward, sliding swords from the sheaths at their sides. I lift my chin as they look me over, the disgust on their faces mirroring my own. The especially ugly Imperial spits at my feet, and I don’t hesitate to do the same—only, at his face.
Blood sprays from my lip when his palm meets my cheek. My head whips to the side where I spit blood to match the poppies surrounding us.
When I turn my head back toward the man, I find him face-to-face with his Enforcer. Kai’s eyes are like chips of ice, so cold they burn. “Touch her again,” he snarls, voice low, “and I’ll slit your throat. She’s mine.”
A shiver crawls down my spine at his cold words. He said something similar to his men back in the Scorches, but this time it sounds different. It sounds like unspoken words and secret longing. Like he was speaking to me in a language they would never understand.
The Imperial nods repeatedly until Kai steps away. I gasp when pain sears across my ankle and look down to find the other Imperial wedging the blade of his sword into the cuff.
He carelessly cuts my skin, trying to pry the cuff apart. I bite my tongue to keep from crying out, to keep from giving him the satisfaction of knowing he’s hurting me.
I can feel hot blood spilling from the cut to pool in my boot. The feel of it has my heart pounding, has my eyes searching for Kai’s. He glances up at me, remorse flickering in his gaze. His look alone begs for my forgiveness, pleads with me to hear his unspoken word.
Pretend.
I look away, blinking down at my boot. The pain only ends when the cuff breaks open with a satisfying click. I blow out a breath as the Imperial lifts his sword from my torn skin. His face is close to mine, white mask obscuring most of it, with the exception of the smirk he flashes at me.
Ignoring him, I attempt to roll my stiff and sticky ankle. My foot feels foreign without its restricting jewelry weighing it down. The urge to run is overwhelming, an instinct that consumes every rational thought.
“Don’t even think about it, girl.”
The Imperial must have read the thoughts right off my face. He leers at me, daring my feet to take a single step. “You can’t outrun me, Ordinary.”
I startle at his words. Not because I’m shocked he knows what I am, but because I’ve spent my entire life dreading the sound of those words from an Imperial’s lips.
I straighten, refusing to cower. “I’ve been outrunning you my whole life.”
His hand twitches, fighting the urge to smack me across the face for the second time. He thinks better of it when the Enforcer steps close beside him. “Cuff her.”
Both Imperials nod before the quieter one begins clamping iron around my wrists. My gaze lifts to Kai’s, his mask cold and unfeeling. I think of every moment I told myself I hated him, every moment I was determined to do to him what he did to my father. And then I wear it all on my face.
Pretend.
“There is a horse waiting for you when we get back into the city, Your Highness.”
Kai turns to the Imperial. “Good. Let’s get moving.”
The other Imperial shoves me forward, nearly sending me face-first into the poppies beneath us. I roll my eyes at no one in particular. “Use your words, boys. Us Ordinaries don’t speak another language, and I’m also quite capable of walking without being pushed.”
“And why would we waste our breath on you, traitor?” the ugly one says, snickering beside his friend.
“If you don’t know any big ones, that’s okay,” I say sweetly. “I find that most Imperials don’t.”
I ignore the hatred burning in their gazes and instead focus on the flowers beneath me. The cuffs clank on my wrists, weighing down my arms and chafing against my skin.
We walk in silence, the castle looming closer, until the Imperial to my left feels the need to open his mouth again. “I’m looking forward to the king ridding us of you.”
I keep my expression blank. “Yes, I’m sure his highness is most excited about my homecoming.”
He smirks. “All of Ilya is looking forward to it.”
I swallow, eyes flashing to Kai’s bare back ahead of me. He doesn’t dare turn, his shoulders tensing with each step.
It hits me then. The reality of my imminent death.
I don’t know how I’ll cheat him this time. There is nowhere for me to run. Death can only be fooled so many times before craving revenge.
Our pace is steady, and I pass the time by watching the flowers slowly begin to wilt beneath our feet. The poppies dwindle with each step, seeming to shrink toward the earth and hide from the city beyond.
It’s not long before what’s left of the field turns to gravel, which then turns to familiar, uneven cobblestone. Several Imperials linger at the edge of the city, all bowing at the sight of their prince and Enforcer. He nods dismissively to the group of men before climbing atop the horse waiting impatiently for him.
A rough hand on my shoulder tears my gaze from Kai and pins it on the Imperial dragging me behind the horse. He holds a long rope in his other fist, the end of it tethered to the saddle Kai sits on.
I’m not sure why tears prick my eyes as the Imperial ties the rope around my cuffs. Or why I nearly let them fall when the horse begins moving, dragging me behind it.
Maybe it’s the humiliation of it all. Of being escorted to the king like an animal as I stumble behind one. Or perhaps it’s the Elites that file from their fancy homes to jeer at the traitor. The murderer. The Ordinary.
I’ve never seen this side of the city. The side where the Offensive populate—the only ones worthy enough to live so close to the castle. I gawk at their homes as I pass. These Elites live in excess while those with less power live in squalor beneath them.
I wouldn’t be surprised if Mundanes are declared the new Ordinary, just as Father suspected.
People point, praising their prince in the same breath they use to curse my name. I shut my eyes against the hatred they wear, tripping over stones as we parade through the streets.
“Traitor!”
“… part of that Resistance cult!”
“King killer!”
“Who will save you now, Silver Savior?”
I keep my face blank, willing it not to crumble with each insult spit at me. The cuffs rub my wrists raw while the sun beats down on my damning hair.
I keep my eyes on the castle, on the doom I’m slowly approaching. The chants follow us, quieting with each step toward the awaiting king. Perhaps they, too, fear what it is I’ve turned him into. What sort of king did I leave them with?
When we step into the shadow of the palace, I know it won’t be long before I find out for myself. The horse’s hooves clop against the cobblestone covering the courtyard. My eyes snag on a cluster of forget-me-nots crowding the stairway into the castle.
Memories of a soaking dress, rain dripping from his lips onto mine, forget-me-nots tangled into my hair, come flooding back. I look up to where Kai sits, finding him staring at the same patch of courtyard where our lips brushed for the first time.
And now I doubt they will ever brush again.
We slow to a stop beside the stairs I hoped to never have to climb again. All is quiet as Kai swings from his saddle, nodding at an Imperial. The man fumbles with the knotted rope, fingers slipping against the tie.
Kai steps beside him, sliding the Imperial’s sword from the sheath at his side to cut the rope with a single swipe. I hear the man swallow, and I almost smile despite my circumstance. Kai then pushes the hilt of the sword into the man’s palm without a single word before wrapping a familiar, calloused hand around my arm.
He leads me over to the staircase, quickly swiping his thumb across my skin.
Pretend.
Words burn in my throat; words I wish I could say to him before it’s too late. I glance over, trying my best to memorize the planes of his face, not knowing if this will be the last time I see it.
Or maybe he will be the last thing I see.
The one to drive a sword through my heart.
CHAPTER 48 Kai
What am I walking her into?
Heavy doors swing open at the top of the stairs. Imperials greet me with a bow.
Duty. That is what I’m walking her into.
Because this is no choice of mine.
I could have ripped out that Imperial’s throat for laying a hand on her, so what is it I’ll do if Kitt orders me to do something much worse?
I can hardly stand the way she looks at me, hatred burning in that gaze I love. But this is pretend—the only time I’ve ever pretended with her.
Every touch, every dance, every kiss disguised as distraction was anything but. Because before I loved her, I longed for her. She was a want I wasn’t worthy of. And I’m afraid I’ll never get the chance to deserve her.
Because now that I have her, I’m giving her away.
We step through the towering doors and into the ornate hallway beyond. She looks around, taking it all in as if doubting there will be another chance to. I hate it, hate that she’s already accepted a fate of her deciding.
The emerald carpet beneath our dirty boots looks out of place, as does my lack of shirt and Pae’s filthy one. My first mission as the Enforcer certainly hasn’t failed to make me look bad. But I hold my head high, feeling the familiar burn of eyes searching for imperfections. I roll my shoulders, straighten my spine, slip an unbothered mask over my features.
Because power is portrayal. And respect is demanded.
We continue down the hall, a fleet of Imperials following behind. The gilded doors grow closer, beckoning us to discover what waits on the other side. Who waits on the other side.
I don’t know what version of him awaits us beyond these doors. Perhaps the brother I know, or the king I now serve. He’s unpredictable, unprepared to rule so young. Or rather, unprepared to lose a father.
And Kitt without his compassion is a man I don’t recognize.
I glance over at Paedyn’s blank expression. But it’s her fidgeting fingers that give her anxiety away, relentlessly spinning that ring on her thumb.
For her sake, I pray to whatever will bother listening.
I pray for my piece of paradise.
Her eyes are pinned on me, wide and full of worry.
I don’t dare change my blank expression, not with so many Imperials standing several feet behind her.
But I dare to lift my hand. Dare to raise it up to her nose, her body blocking the movement. Dare to flick the tip of it one last time, hoping she hears my words hidden within the action.
I love you.
And then I push open the heavy doors.
The throne room is packed with familiar faces. Every person of importance seems to occupy the large room, some stepping from behind marble pillars to stare at us dirtying the shiny floor with each step.
Noble men and women, advisers of all ages, startle at the sight of us. Not because they didn’t know we were coming, but because we likely look as though we journeyed through hell to get here.
I’m aware of the many makeshift bandages wrapped around my body, each of them stained with blood. I remember promising Father I wouldn’t walk into his throne room again without a shirt, and yet, here I am, half-naked before the entire court.
Though Paeydn doesn’t look much better. Blood drips down her leg from the deliberately careless Imperial I plan to make pay later. Her shirt hangs from her shoulder, though she’s ensured her tank strap covers the scar my father gifted her. The mere thought of it makes my blood boil—not that anyone would know, with the blank mask fastened over my features.
Dozens of eyes flick over my figure before slowly finding hers. Disgust burns in each gaze that crawls over her, taking in the scar down her neck, the split lip above, and the short hair that undeniably belongs to the once Silver Savior.
I yank her forward by the arm.
Pretend.
I am cold and callous and could not care less about the prisoner staggering behind me.
Pretend.
The chains binding her wrists clank with each uneven step she takes toward the throne. People part to make way, and I meet every gaze that strays to mine. This crowd is too proud and proper to shout their loathing like those we passed in the streets, but the various looks on their faces speak volumes.
Despite holding her head high, Paedyn’s feet begin to drag with each step closer to his throne. The throne our new king now occupies.
