The atonement, p.1
The Atonement, page 1
The Atonement
Smashwords Edition
Copyright 2015 Lawrence Cherry
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Published by SJS DIRECT Bronx NY, 10456
One
The sky grew dim as twilight approached, and Allen quickened his pace as he neared the entrance of St. Luke’s Hospital. He knew he was running late and he hoped that he had enough time to make visiting hours and then jet over to his contracts class at Columbia, which was going to start at 7:00 p.m. Allen checked his watch. It was 6:30. “Kinda cutting it close,” he thought to himself. “Next time, I’ll pick something up from Manna’s instead of waiting for mom to fix something.”
Allen hustled through the doors and quickly signed in at the desk where the clerk handed him a visitor’s pass. Then he started to one of the elevator banks in the lobby. Fortunately, the doors of one of the banks opened just as he approached and he got on with several other people that had been waiting. Someone had already pressed the button for the seventh floor, which was where he was headed to see his best friend.
During the ride, the aroma of the soup he was carrying seemed to fill the elevator. Allen checked his bag to make sure the container wasn’t leaking. As he did so, his stomach seemed to tighten and he didn’t know why. Jim had gotten past the worst part of his recovery, and they had managed to reconcile their friendship. Yet Allen could not help but feel a little uneasy when he was in Jim’s presence. As much as Allen cared for Jim, he felt as if there were an invisible wall between them. “It’s going to take time,” he told himself. Just then the doors opened on the seventh floor and he walked out and down the hall. “It’s going to take time, but soon everything will be back to normal.”
As Allen got closer to the room, he could hear that all too familiar high-pitched, clipped voice, mixing with what sounded like Jim’s laughter. Hearing Jim laugh made him feel a bit more relaxed, but Allen was hoping they could be alone. Maybe then Jim would feel like he could talk to him. Then again, Allen was afraid of what Jim might reveal.
“I see you got some company,” said Allen after he poked his head into Jim’s hospital room. Jim was sitting up and in good spirits, while Tamiko was sitting in a chair next to his bed. The television was on, but it had been muted.
“That’s the trend lately,” said Jim.
Jim had been in the hospital for nearly two weeks. For the first couple of days he laid in a coma in the Intensive Care Unit before finally regaining consciousness. It would be several more days after that before he left the ICU altogether. Since then, he began a slow and sometimes uneven recovery. There were times when Allen came to visit and Jim would look great, but the next day he’d look like death. Lately, Jim seemed to be making consistent progress. With each passing day Allen could see that Jim looked better and stronger.
“Do you mind if I join the party?” asked Allen.
“Not at all, pull up a seat,” said Jim.
“Hey, Allen” said Tamiko.
“Hey, yourself,” he said giving her a peck on the cheek and sitting beside her. “Gossiping much?”
“I don’t gossip. Gossip is negative. I’ve only been telling Jim about all the good things that have been happening while he was away.”
“Mmmm-hmm, sure. Is that right, Jim?”
“Well, I didn’t hear nearly as much drama as I’d hoped to, so I guess she’s right.”
“See.”
“Anyway, I didn’t think you’d still be here. I thought you were going to the movies tonight,” said Allen.
“I am. In fact, now that you’re here, I think this is the perfect time for me to make my exit. Take care, Jim. I’ll see you tomorrow – oh, and I’ll bring the pictures I promised,” she said before she planted a kiss on his forehead.
“Can’t wait,” said Jim.
“Later, Al.”
“See you, Miko,” said Allen as she walked out.
“How you doin’ today, man?”
“I’m still livin’. Can’t get no better than that.”
“You look a lot better than you did yesterday. You still having any pain?” Allen added out of concern. He knew that Jim had been struggling with the after effects of the surgery for the gunshot wounds.
“Not anymore. Whatever they puttin’ in that IV drip is killin’ it.”
“Don’t let them give you too much of that junk. You don’t want to end up addicted to it,” said Allen instantly regretting his choice of words. “I mean too much of that stuff could end up making you worse off.”
“I hear you. What you got there?” asked Jim as he noticed the bag Allen had brought with him.
“Mamma’s homemade chicken noodle soup. It’s still hot. You think you can handle it?”
“You know I can handle that.”
Allen moved the portable tray over to Jim’s bed and set the soup out for him. He didn’t know how his friend would manage with his right arm in a sling and his left leg in traction. Jim took the spoon clumsily in his left hand and managed several sloppy spoonfuls.
“You look like you could use some help.”
“Nah, I got it.”
After a few moments, Jim was able to orient himself to the task at hand; however, Allen could see how hard Jim had to work to do it. Jim had finished most of the soup before he gave himself a rest. Allen was glad to see that his friend’s appetite was coming back.
“That was even better than I remember. I’m tellin’ you Allen, your mom doesn’t miss a thing. Good to know some things haven’t changed.”
“Sometimes change can be a good thing.”
“Yeah. I guess. But it’s hard when you gotta start over from scratch,” said Jim as he stirred his spoon in the remnants of the soup at the bottom of the bowl.
“Hard, but not impossible. Especially if you got some help, hint-hint.”
“I know. But I can’t expect everyone to stop living their lives so they can help me.”
“C’mon, man. You’re an important part of all our lives. We missed you.”
“I missed you guys, too. Didn’t realize how lucky I was to have such good friends.”
There was an uncomfortable silence between them for a moment before Jim spoke again.
“I’m sorry, Al.”
“Jim, you don’t have to go there again.”
“No, I do. I really messed up.”
Allen himself felt guilty about what happened to Jim. When he learned that Jim was found near death in an abandoned warehouse, Allen thought he would have a heart attack. Then when Detective Ballard questioned him about what he knew of Jim’s whereabouts and dealings, Allen had to admit that he hadn’t seen or spoken to Jim in nearly two years. The realization of the span of time stunned him. “How could I let nearly two years go by without talking to my best friend – the man I grew up with and was raised with?” Allen thought to himself at the time. Although he had been praying daily for Jim, Allen couldn’t help but wonder if there were something else that he could have done to prevent their relationship from becoming estranged, and hence, what happened to Jim. But then he realized he had done all that he could do. Thankfully, his prayers had been answered, and now, they had the chance to start over.
“We’ve all made mistakes. I know I’ve made quite a few.”
“Have you ever felt that you’ve gone, too far?”
“The only time you’ve gone too far is when you can’t feel sorry and you’ve expressed that already.”
“I don’t know, man.”
“Look, Jim, whatever happened is done and over with. I’m not holding anything against you and neither is anyone else. Let’s just put the past behind us and move forward.”
Allen looked at the muted TV screen that was playing before them as silence took over again. He didn’t like the awkwardness that had started to develop between them. Allen knew what was causing it. It was the questions that loomed around them and all the things that had been left unspoken.
At times Allen couldn’t help but wonder how Jim ended up here. Pastor Bynum suggested that no one question Jim or bring up the circumstances surrounding Jim’s hospitalization until he was stronger. Even then, everyone agreed that it would be best if they let Jim bring up the subject first, which would indicate that he was finally ready to discuss his ordeal. Allen thought this was a prudent thing to do because he didn’t want to stress Jim out and cause him to have a set back with regard to his physical health. They also agreed that it wouldn’t be worth it to risk alienating Jim during such a vulnerable period in his life. In the meantime, there were a lot of questions that went unanswered. What was Jim doing at that warehouse? How did he end up in such a situation? Detective Ballard said there was another man in the warehouse that had been shot dead. Had Jim killed him? If so, why? Was it self-defense? The doctors discovered drugs in Jim’s system: opiates, and barbiturates. Did Jim get caught up in a drug buy gone wrong? These were the questions that sauntered around Allen’s mind. Back at home, everyone was speculating about what could’ve happened, but only Jim held the answers and he still hadn’t said anything – to most of them at least.
Not long after Jim had regained consciousness, the police came to the hospita
“I see you got the Word Network on,” said Allen, trying to get some conversation going between them again.
“Yeah. I been thinkin’ if anybody need the Word, it’s me.”
“You really mean that?”
“Yeah. I do.”
“If anybody can help you, He can.”
“I know. He already has.”
Jim smiled at Allen, who smiled right back.
“Does this mean we’ll see you back at church in the near future?” asked Allen.
“I guess you could say that.”
“Good. I’ll dust off your old spot in the pew.”
“You sure there’s still room? I mean with Tim, the handyman, and the hundred other people you and Miko done dragged up in there by now.”
“There aren’t that many new faces – and he’s not the handyman. His name is Davis.”
“Yes, of course. How could I forget? Especially with the way Miko goes on about him. But since they’re an item now, that’s probably to be expected.”
“Wait a minute, hold up – Miko told you she was dating Davis?”
“She didn’t come out and say it, but with the way she was talking, I just assumed she was. Isn’t she going out with him tonight? She’s dressed up like it.”
“Here we go,” said Allen rubbing his palm across his face. “It’s not a date. She’s not seeing him.”
“So what is she doing with him?”
“Making a fool of herself.”
“Don’t tell me she’s chasing him.”
“It’s so embarrassing, I’m not sure if I even want to talk about it. It’s like she’s lost her mind.”
“This is certainly a first. He must be putting down some kind of vibe to have Miko wound up like that. You sure he’s not an undercover player in disguise.”
“Trust me – Davis is definitely not a player from what I can see, and I don’t think he’s done anything to lead her on. In fact, I think he’s been very patient through everything she’s been putting him through, but lately I can tell that Miko is starting to get on his nerves. As a matter of fact, her obsession with Davis is starting to get on my nerves. If I’m alone with the brother for five minutes, in the next five she’ll be all up in my face asking me if he said anything about her.”
“Hmm. I wonder how Tim is taking all this. After all, the last time I was around, he was after Miko like a spider after a fly in a web. Isn’t that what his sudden conversion is all about?”
“I know what you’re getting at – but that whole thing was squashed. Tim’s really done a lot of growing up in the past couple of years. The only thing he’s trying to do now is get right with God.”
“And you’re absolutely certain of this because…”
“You’ve spoken to him, haven’t you? I know he’s been by here a couple of times. Can’t you tell the difference?”
“His talk is deep, but I suspect his walk is weak.”
“Why would you think that? You know Tim – when he makes up his mind about something…”
“Is he aware that fornication is a no-no?”
“Yes.”
“So you mean to tell me a dude who’s used to having a different woman every month has just quit the game cold turkey?”
“Well – uh – yes.”
“What’s with the hesitation?”
“Okay, nobody’s perfect and even Christians make mistakes now and again…”
Jim laughed out loud before he winced and grabbed his side.
“You okay, man?”
“Yeah, I’m okay, but I gotta be careful that I don’t pop any of my stitches. But back to what we were discussing, I just knew it was too good to be true.”
“No, really! I’m telling you, Tim’s not the same guy. Just wait ‘til you get out of here. You’ll see.”
“Now I’ve heard everything – or almost everything. Are you going to tell me about what’s going on with you?”
“I already told you about law school. I’m starting my first year and with work and all, it’s been a stretch, but…”
“That’s not what I’m talking about. I want to hear about this new relationship thing you got goin’ on.”
Allen paused for a moment and toyed with the empty bag as he tried to think of a way to get off of the current topic.
“It’s not that big a deal…”
“Don’t try to front. Miko already gave me the hint and she didn’t seem very happy about it. She said I should let you explain it.”
“I’m not surprised she put it like that. There are a lot of people who aren’t happy with my relationship.”
“Why?”
Allen took a deep breath and braced himself for what he was certain would be Jim’s reaction.
“My lady is…a single-mom.”
“Wait a minute, did I just hear you right? Did you just say, ‘single-mom’?”
“Yes, I did. Now before you go off the deep end, you have to consider the realities of the present time. There aren’t many women our age out there that don’t have kids.”
“Allen, really?! ‘Cause I could name quite a few.”
“Still, it’s not an issue for me.”
“Well it should be! Look, man, I know how much you like to help people, but…”
“Save your breath. I’ve already heard the speech about a dozen times…”
“And you’re gonna hear it one more time. Do you understand just how complicated a relationship like that is? How big a commitment you’re going to have to make? Do you know how much there is at stake in a situation like the one you’re in? You’re only 24 years old – that’s way too young to be a father and then to have to deal with some chick’s baggage from a previous relationship! And let’s not forget all the drama the ‘baby daddy’ is probably gonna have for you! How do you plan to manage all that, your job, and law school at the same time without going insane?”
“Believe me, Jim, I’ve counted the costs and so far I’ve been handling my business. Anyway, it’s not like I just met this woman. I’ve known her for most of my life. I’ve loved her for most of my life.”
“Oh, really? Who is she?”
“It’s Callie.”
“Callie?”
Allen noticed Jim’s confused expression and immediately understood.
“Yeah. You know how I feel about her. I’ve been in love with her since high school.”
“Did she tell you how she managed to end up pregnant?”
“I think we both know the answer to that.”
“C’mon, Allen. You know what I mean.”
“She said when she stopped hanging with us, she got caught up with some guy in a type of friends with benefits situation. Then she got pregnant and when she went to tell the guy, she found out he’d died of a drug overdose. So the dad’s not in the picture and never will be.”
“Sounds very convenient.”
“You think she’s lying?”
“I don’t know what to think.”
Allen noticed how quiet and pensive Jim had become all of a sudden. From the look on Jim’s face it seemed he was a million miles away and it worried Allen.
“Are you okay?”
“I’m just blown away by what I’m hearing.”
“I know. It’s a lot.”
“All the time Callie’s been up here, she hasn’t said a thing.”
“We all agreed we wouldn’t lay anything heavy on you until you were stronger. Callie and I wanted to be together when we told, you, but since the subject has come up, I thought it’d be best to just lay everything out there.”
