11 59, p.15
11:59, page 15
More silence. Too much silence. “No, I’m sorry. I have no right to get upset about that. I guess I was just hoping… Never mind. Like I said, not my right.”
“I can understand why you’re mad though. I get it.”
“I’m not mad. I’m… I’m just tired. I promise. I think I might actually just go to bed.”
“Brooke, please.” TJ wished she could tell her she would just scrap the whole idea, but then the past few months would all be a complete waste. Plus, whether Brooke agreed or not, TJ believed in what she was writing. At least, she was pretty sure she did.
“I mean it, TJ. I’m fine. I’m not mad. Just tired. Don’t worry.”
Even with all of Brooke’s reassurance, when TJ hung up the phone, she was pretty sure she had just taken two giant leaps backward.
Chapter 16
TJ
When Tiffany awoke, she was sure the night before must have been a dream. There’s no way Brooke had actually kissed her again. Except, the way she was being held in Brooke’s arms right now told her everything really happened. She buried her face in Brooke’s neck, happy to enjoy this moment of bliss for just a little bit longer. She wanted to soak it all in before Brooke woke up and forced them to talk about what had happened.
Unfortunately, a few seconds later, Brooke started to stir and before Tiffany knew it, she was looking into her eyes. Brooke smiled sweetly and ran a hand through Tiffany’s hair. “Did last night really happen? You actually kissed me back?”
Tiffany drew circles on Brooke’s arm with her fingers and nodded her head. “It happened.”
“You know, I understand that you’re scared, but we’re going to have to talk more about it eventually.”
Tiffany nodded slowly. She obviously knew this was coming. “I know.”
Brooke stared at her for a long time, and Tiffany thought she might melt under that gaze. She had no idea what Brooke was thinking and it had her so nervous, she was starting to sweat.
Then, Brooke said the last thing Tiffany expected from her. “I don’t wanna talk right now.”
Before Tiffany could comprehend exactly what she meant by that, Brooke bent down over her and was kissing her again. This kiss was just like the night before, only so much better since it was just the two of them. Tiffany didn’t waste any time slipping her tongue into Brooke’s mouth. The way Brooke moaned at the contact only served to encourage her more.
Without thinking, she moved so her body was now hovering over Brooke’s. As they continued to kiss, she slowly lowered herself until all of her weight was on Brooke’s and their bodies were intertwined. Brooke groaned, and Tiffany thought she must have hurt her, but when she went to push away, Brooke wrapped her arms around her to stop her.
Brooke then moved her hands until they were resting right on Tiffany’s ass. Sensations that Tiffany had never felt before shot through her whole body. Instinctively, she started to slowly move her body against Brooke’s and those feelings only became more intense. Tiffany thought she honestly might burst if she didn’t get some release soon. Being so inexperienced, she didn’t know exactly what that entailed, but she knew what she was doing right now was definitely working.
Given the cute little noises Brooke was making, it seemed to be working for her as well. Brooke moved her hands up slightly and ran her fingers along the waistband of the pajamas she had given Tiffany to put on the night before.
With synapses firing from every single spot in her body, Tiffany couldn’t think straight anymore. Hell, she couldn’t think at all. She felt like she was watching someone else reach behind herself to grab Brooke’s hand and encourage it to break the threshold.
Brooke did as silently directed and as soon as her hands met Tiffany’s bare ass, they squeezed hard and Tiffany saw stars. She moved her body harder and faster against Brooke’s as Brooke continued her exploration. When Brooke’s hands started to wander to Tiffany’s front, Tiffany thought she honestly might die. But then, as quickly as it had started, Brooke pulled her hand away and gently pushed Tiffany off her.
As Tiffany tried to make sense of everything that had just happened, Brooke wiped her mouth and scooted her back up against her pillows. “Sorry. I don’t think we should do that without talking about what is happening between us. I’ve never done that with anyone before.”
“Made out?” Tiffany asked dumbly. She knew Brooke had made out with some stupid guy she dated in tenth grade. There were probably other people too that Tiffany just didn’t know about. Brooke had gone through a whole year of college without her.
“No. Sex. I’ve never had sex. I’m a virgin.”
Tiffany’s body heated up at the words. After completely losing her mind from just one stroke of Brooke’s tongue against her own, she hadn’t even been able to fathom that that’s the direction they were headed in. Hearing Brooke say it caused the panic to settle in all over again.
Tiffany had never been touched by someone she actually wanted to touch her. She had only… no. Keep those memories down. She squeezed her eyes shut as if that was going to somehow push them all away. Except, that only made things worse. Her breathing was erratic and her whole body was quickly becoming drenched in sweat, and Tiffany felt like the walls were closing in on her.
She thought she was about to let the panic attack take full control of her and completely drift away into oblivion until two arms wrapped around her from the side.
“Shh.” Brooke placed a kiss on her temple and pulled their bodies even closer together, slowly rocking them in the way she knew calmed Tiffany down. “Shh. It’s okay. You’re okay. I’ve got you. I got you. You’re going to be alright. I promise. Shh.”
Once Tiffany was finally calm, she slowly extricated her body from Brooke’s, the embarrassment now taking over. She put her face, that she was sure was now beet red, in her hands. “I’m sorry.”
Brooke tried to rub a hand on Tiffany’s back but stopped when Tiffany instinctively flinched away. “You don’t need to apologize. I’m sorry. I should have stopped us before things got more intense. I’m really sorry if I triggered those memories.”
Of course Brooke knew exactly what had happened. She always just knew. “No, it’s fine. Nothing like that,” Tiffany lied.
“It’s me you’re talking to, Tiff, remember? You can be honest with me.”
“Okay. I’m sorry.” Tiffany wasn’t able to say anything more than that right now, but she was sure Brooke would understand.
“I think we need to try to control ourselves until we talk about all of this and figure out what it means.”
When Tiffany looked into Brooke’s loving eyes, the last thing she wanted to do was control herself. She knew Brooke was right though. She really had to figure out what to do with all of the feelings swirling inside of her now. Now that she had tasted paradise, she knew that she and Brooke could never go back to the way things were before, but the question was whether she was willing to take a leap and risk everything.
When TJ opened her eyes, she was sure she could still taste Brooke on her lips. That dream was so vivid, and now all she wanted to do was kiss Brooke and never stop. Except, that was impossible for so many reasons, one of them being that Brooke still hadn’t made any mention of them getting together.
Luckily, after Brooke had found out about the book TJ was working on, things had only been weird between them for a day or two. Brooke apologized for making things awkward when they were trying to be friends, a word that still cut TJ deep, and then was surprisingly able to get things back to normal. The only problem was, she was pretty sure that hadn’t helped her chances of Brooke ever agreeing to see her. It was two months since that happened, and Brooke had never spoken another word about them possibly getting together.
TJ sighed as she closed her eyes, hoping she could maybe drift back to a time when Brooke actually wanted her. The loud knocking on her door wasn’t going to allow that to happen though.
TJ tried to ignore it, but it wouldn’t stop. She took one of the pillows off her bed and forcefully threw it at the door like that was going to make a difference. “Leave me alone, Candace. I’m sleeping.”
“You’re talking. You’re not sleeping. Now let me in.” The doorknob rattled. “I can’t believe you lock your door at night.”
TJ groaned. “I do it to keep you out.”
“Well, let me in. I really need to talk to you.”
TJ rolled her eyes but stood from her bed and walked to the door, reluctantly opening it for Candace. “What’s so important that it couldn’t wait for me to be fully awake?”
Candace looked at the watch on her wrist then back at TJ. “First of all, it’s almost eleven. Second, I need to know what we’re doing for your birthday tomorrow.”
For some reason, Candace was really anxious about TJ’s birthday. She must have asked her about fifty times what she wanted to do. It wasn’t even like it was a big one. She was turning twenty-nine, for God’s sake. “I thought we could sit on the couch and curse the day my deadbeat mom decided to have unprotected sex.”
“I love the enthusiasm, but no.”
“Then let’s order Applebee’s.”
Candace scrunched up her nose. “I’ll never understand your obsession with that restaurant, but if we have to eat Applebee’s, we’re going there.”
Now, TJ scrunched up her nose. “In public? With people?”
“Gross, I know, but it’s your birthday. Also, Jump Plex is in that same complex.” Candace wiggled her eyebrows. “You told me you always wanted to go there.”
TJ’s stomach twisted at the mention of the trampoline park. “No. I told you that Brooke and I were supposed to go there, but she cut me off before we could.”
“Well, I think it’s time you stick it to the bitch and go back there.” Candace stuck a fist in the air as if she was leading a rebellion.
“Please tell me you didn’t just call Brooke a bitch.”
Candace put her fist down and shook her head. “You’re right. I don’t know why I said that. She’s much nicer than you. Much better person too.”
“Could we get back to how we are celebrating my birthday?”
“Yep. We’re going to Jump Plex, then Applebee’s. Happy birthday, buddy.”
Before TJ could argue anymore, Candace was out of her room. Even though that wasn’t how TJ wanted to spend her day, Candace was stubborn. Now that she had made up her mind, there was no changing it.
***
“That’s what you’re wearing?” Candace asked when TJ came out of her room the next day, dressed in sweats to go to Jump Plex.
“Yeah. So what?”
Candace looked her up and down. “Have you given up on having sex?”
For once, TJ wasn’t worried about sex. What she was really worried about was the fact that Brooke hadn’t said anything to her yet today. Sure, they were on the phone past midnight the night before and Brooke had done a countdown to TJ’s birthday, but it still seemed strange that it was almost 3 o’clock on her actual birthday, and it had been complete radio silence.
Since she was lost in her own thoughts, TJ didn’t notice Candace leaving the room, but she was brought back to reality by the sound of Candace clearing her throat. She was now standing in front of TJ holding one of the tightest pairs of jeans TJ owned and an even tighter (and very low cut) blue T-shirt.
“What the hell is that?” TJ asked. “And since when did I say you could just go through my closet?”
Candace shoved the clothes into TJ’s arms. “This is the outfit you’re going to wear. Trust me, you’ll thank me later.”
“After I freeze to death outside?”
Candace rolled her eyes. “Wear a jacket. It’s going to be hot at Jump Plex.” She pointed to her watch impatiently. “Now get changed. We have places to be.”
Even though TJ couldn’t figure out why Candace would be acting like this, she still followed her directions, and less than ten minutes later, they were in the car heading to Jump Plex. After checking in and getting socks for jumping, Candace kept looking at her phone.
“Have somewhere else you’d rather be?” TJ asked, only the slightest bit actually annoyed.
Candace looked up from her phone and smiled sweetly. “Never. Let’s go upstairs to the adults-only trampoline.”
TJ followed Candace up the stairs, past the dodgeball court trampolines and the ball pit and down a long hall until they came to another set of stairs that apparently led up to a giant trampoline only open to people over eighteen.
“Oh, by the way, happy birthday,” Candace said when they reached the top step.
TJ didn’t understand why Candace said it that way until her eyes skipped past all the other people in the room and landed on the one person she didn’t think she’d ever see again. She had to blink a few times because she figured there was no way this was real. That couldn’t really be Brooke Finnegan standing on the other end of the trampoline.
But there was no denying this was the girl that she saw in her dreams every night. The auburn hair that was flowing perfectly down her back. The perfect body that looked amazing in the dark skinny jeans and Bellman baseball tee she was wearing. And those eyes. Those hazel eyes that apparently still shined when they looked at her. As Brooke got closer, TJ tried not to let her own eyes drop to Brooke’s lips, but she couldn’t stop herself. The smile that she was giving TJ, and the way those lips shimmered from what had to be a slight hint of lip gloss was enough to make TJ’s stomach twist and turn in a way she hadn’t experienced in years. TJ hadn’t moved a muscle since laying eyes on Brooke. She was frozen in place, but luckily, Brooke had done the work to bring them closer together and now they were standing toe to toe. She was inches from Brooke Finnegan. How was that even possible?
Brooke tilted her head slightly and looked up at TJ. “I was finally ready to see you in person, and I thought why tell you that when I could just go ahead and surprise you on your birthday?”
TJ laughed. It was a complete belly laugh, full of more happiness than she could ever remember feeling. “Of course you would do that. Because you’re Brooke and you’re perfect and you’re…” She let her eyes do another sweep over Brooke’s body. She couldn’t help herself. This still didn’t feel real. “You’re breathtaking.”
TJ was normally much better at playing it cool, but it was no use with Brooke. Her palms were clammy, her face was red, her heart was racing. But none of that mattered because Brooke was standing right in front of her. Her Brooke. Her person. “Can… Can I hug you?” Her voice came out so quietly that she worried maybe Brooke couldn’t hear them.
She obviously could though, because soon she was wrapped tightly in Brooke’s arms. Brooke’s arms were around her. Every worry, every bad memory, every fear seemed to float away. Her safety blanket was back. The only place she ever felt protected was right here in Brooke’s arms. So, she took advantage of the moment and melted into Brooke’s hug. She wrapped her arms around Brooke’s back and rested her head on her shoulder. As she breathed in the scent of Brooke’s perfume, so many memories flooded her mind. Brooke in her arms just like this. Brooke’s smile the first time they ever met. The way Brooke stared up at her with so much wonder in her eyes the first time they made love. All of the hugs. All the kisses. Every single touch. It was all coming back to TJ.
TJ was home. With just one look and one singular touch, TJ was back in the only home she had ever known. She was afraid if she let go, this would all disappear. What if this was all a dream? What if she was about to wake up with the worst heartache yet? Except, it couldn’t be a dream. No matter how real her dreams felt, they never felt like this.
When TJ finally pulled back, it was so she could look in Brooke’s eyes again and make sure it was really her. Sure enough, those hazel eyes stared right back into hers, looking so deeply at her, TJ was sure they must be seeing right into her soul. “So, you’re really here?” she asked softly.
“I am.” Brooke took a step back but kept her hands on TJ’s arms. She sighed as she let her eyes travel up and down TJ’s body without shame. “And now that I am, I can’t even remember why I waited so long.”
“I’d be happy to remind you.” Candace snickered when TJ glared over at her. “What? You’re still an asshole. We can’t have a sweetheart like Brooke getting the wrong idea.”
Candace stuck her tongue out at TJ, and Brooke started to laugh. “Wow. You two really are like sisters.”
“I never said that,” TJ argued.
Candace patted her on the back and leaned in close to her. “Nope. I told her that, sis.”
Then, TJ began to laugh and couldn’t stop. Even though there was no reason for it, her laugh just kept growing louder and bolder. She couldn’t stop herself if she tried. She was spending her birthday with her two favorite people in the whole world. She also had a crowd of onlookers staring at her while she laughed like a complete maniac, but she didn’t care.
“Okay, now you’re creeping me out,” Candace said after this went on for much too long. “Can we go jump?”
TJ and Brooke followed Candace back onto the trampolines, and in a move completely unlike her, TJ squealed when she took her first jump. On her second jump, she laughed as she did a split in the air. “Oh my God. This is even better than I expected.”
Brooke giggled as she jumped from spot to spot on the trampoline. “I know. I can’t believe I went so long without coming to one of these.”
TJ bounced slightly as she stopped jumping. “Wait. You’ve never been to one of these? You used to talk about going all the time.”
Brooke stopped jumping too and stared down at her feet. “Yeah, but it never seemed right, you know, since we were supposed to do it together. I didn’t want to come with anyone else.”
