He then turned me facing the bed and pushed me down bending over it. He walked away and I wiped my face on the linens trying to wipe my eyes off. Before I could get then clean I felt a horrible sting on my butt and heard a loud “Whack.” I let out a loud cry as I felt a searing pain right across my butt. “Don’t you wipe that dirty face slut,” he called and again I felt the sting of another painful hit. I had no idea what it was but it hurt more then anything to hit me there. Again came the horrible swat across my butt cheeks a little lower then the first two. I felt his hand push me down to the bed on my back as I felt another swat and heard him say, “Don’t you try to get up from that bed.” I jerked hard again as this time I felt the swat go across the backs of my thighs sending searing pain into my legs. Out of reflex my left foot lifted off the ground and kicked up. “Don’t you dare try to kick me,” he shouted and I felt the searing pain strike me across the butt again and then rapidly across my lower back. I was so horrified and scared by this I tried to slide to the side. He noticed me trying to move away and grabbed me back the back of the neck. “Where do you think you’re going,” he asked and pulled me back square in front of him?

  I then felt something push between my butt cheeks. “Noooooooooo stoppppp,” I yelled. But he didn’t and I felt something move up and down my crack till it found the entry to my butt. “No please,” I begged and I was stunned when I felt his hand hit me on the side of my head as I felt his cock push into my butt. “Noooooooo,” I cried but just felt him push down on me harder trying to work it deeper inside me. “Shut up slut,” he yelled back at me and forced his cock further into my bottom. I couldn’t believe this was happening and how rough he was, the side of my head ached where he hit me. The places he hit me on the butt and thighs still burned and my cheek still ached from his slaps. I was growing more afraid and for the first time ever felt like I was being forced to do this. His cock continued to thrust in and out of me over and over. He was rougher then anything I could have imagined. As he was moving inside me I felt him hit me on my right hip with his right hand. The hit felt so hard, it made me jerk and he did it again 3 times. Finally I felt him pull out and stand up.

  As he did I slid down the bed on the floor and started to move to the side crawling away. Then I felt the worse pain I have ever felt as he kicked me in the side. He kicked me so hard it made me roll over until I hit the dresser. I grabbed my side and was crying when I felt him come and grab my hair and lift me up until he was able to also grab an arm. “Where are you going slut,” he yelled and pulled me back towards the bed. “NOOO,” I cried as he pulled me back there my side aching and I could hardly breathe. He threw me on my back on the bed and swung to slap my face. As he did I tried to turn away from it and instead he slapped me right on the eye and I felt the world spin. I grabbed my face but he didn’t seem fazed at all as I felt him grab a hold of my ankle and pull me down towards the end of the bed. I kicked at him as hard as I could with my other ankle and I was stunned as I felt his fist hit me inside that leg on my thigh. I felt my body slide to the end of the bed and I screamed as loud as I could scream. I felt him gripping both my legs just below my knees and I felt his hips push into me as he tried to penetrate me. I was sobbing hard and I screamed “NOOOOOO” as loud as I could but he didn’t care and I felt his cock push into my sex. I was screaming and crying until I felt his other hand slap the other side of my face and I thought for a moment it broke my jaw. I suddenly tasted a metal taste and I felt my bottom lip puff up and I choked back my crying as I didn’t want hit anymore.

  I then felt his hands grab me at the waist and I felt his hips push into me as hard as I think he could. It felt like he thrust a club into my sex and I felt my whole stomach cramp. I stopped fighting because I was scared he’d hurt me even more and I was still having trouble breathing. I was horrified when I felt his mouth suck on my left breast as I felt him still thrusting inside me. I pushed my hands into his shoulders as I felt him suck so hard on my breast and I then felt his teeth bite into my skin. I swore I heard him growl and he kept sucking and biting on the same place on my breast. It hurt and burned deep into my boob. I felt myself crying again as he sucked and bit and kept moving inside me.

  I tried so hard to push him away but that only seemed to make my boob hurt more so I quit pushing. His growling grew faster and his hips moved faster and finally I had a little hope as I felt him begin to cum inside me and he pulled his mouth off my breast. He thrust several more times before he finally got up and off me and pulled out. “You are a good fuck slut,” he said and put his cock back in his pants. He picked up his ball cap and I finally saw what looked like a bamboo rod and I think that’s what he spanked me with. He walked by the bed one more time and I tucked my legs into my chest and was glad when all he did was throw money on me. He then walked out of the bedroom and then out of the door to the room and I knew it was over. I laid there crying and shaking and wanted to die. My body hurt more places then I knew I could hurt and I cried and felt my side ache from it.

  I stayed there for a long time, I can not say how long. It took me a long time to remember what day it was and that it was Friday. I didn’t know how I would go anywhere as I hurt so much and felt so dirty. I just lay there and cried for a long time. Some time after 8 PM I managed to get up and I looked for my clothes. I slowly dressed as my whole body hurt and it hurt just to move and to breathe. While dressing I spotted the money he threw at me and on the floor was laying a $20 bill. I was disgusted with myself as I had no way to get home or anywhere else as everyone I knew was at the game so I had no choice but to pick up the money so I could take a taxi. I hated him for what that made me but I knew I had less then $5 in my purse. After dressing and making sure I had everything of mine I rode the elevator down to the first floor and as quickly as I could found my way out to the dark. I saw a taxi sitting there and got in the back and was stunned by the question the driver asked me, “Where to?” I had to think about it for a few minutes as I was scared to go home so I sat there quietly for a few minutes. Finally I made up my mind and gave him an address and we rode off into the dark.

  I think I was there almost two hours in the dark when I saw someone walking towards me. Then I heard Elizabeth’s voice say angrily, “What do you want Tori?” But the tone in her voice changed as she got closer and she said, “Oh my God what happened to you,” and she came over to where I was sitting on her porch and sat down carefully next to me. “Come on,” she said pulling me to my feet and opened the front door and hurried us up to her room. As we were almost to the second floor she yelled downstairs, “I’m home,” and kept helping me up the steps to her room. She helped me to her bed and then turned on a lamp and went into the bathroom and came back with a washcloth. “What the hell happened to you,” she asked again looking very concerned. She dabbed the washcloth at my lip and it got blood on it. She wiped my chin and looked me up and down more and said, “I’m going to get some ice, don’t move.” She didn’t need to tell me that as I didn’t want to move.

  She came back upstairs with a big bowl of ice and she got a few more washcloths from the bathroom. She put some ice in another washcloth and put it to my eye. “Here hold this,” she said softly. “Tori, who did this,” she asked? I didn’t answer. I must have been breathing shallow because of the pain in my chest because Elizabeth asked me, “Are you okay, your breathing really weird?” I looked up at her trying to decide how to answer I decided just to nod to tell her I was okay. “Maybe I should take you to a hospital,” she suggested. “Nooo,” I shot back sternly, then softened, “Please don’t do that, just. . .help me.” She looked at me concerned and nodded saying softly, “Okay, where else does it hurt.” “Everywhere,” I replied.

  I don’t think she knew where else to try to help so she kept working on my lower lip and I could feel the swelling going down some and it seemed to stop bleeding. After she got my lip cleaned up pretty well she looked at me and said, “You have blood all over that blouse, let’s get you changed.” She found a button down shirt of her own and helped me take off my blouse. She scared me when she gasped and put her hands over her mouth. “Tori, we have to get you to a hospital,” she said starring at my side. I looked down and saw my side from my ribs down. There was a dark bruise there. I felt myself shaking and looked her in the eyes and said, “Please no, just help me okay? My mom can’t see me like this.” And I started to pull her blouse on around me, she reached and helped me so I wouldn’t have to strain. “Who did this to you Tori,” she asked again? I just sat quietly not answering glad she was helping me as she put more ice into a small towel and very slowly brought it to my ribs. “Tori, that looks really bad,” she added. I replied, “I’ll be okay,” and sat there quietly again. I lowered my elbow carefully and held the ice pack to my ribs. “Did Scott do this,” she asked? “NO,” I said back strongly. And again the room was silent. I took a moment and looked in her eyes and I was struck that she looked almost ready to cry. This time without her asking I said, “I’ll be okay, don’t worry.” She looked up and me and put on a worried smile.

  We sat there in silence a while and after about 45 minutes I said out of nowhere, “I need to take a shower.” She looked at me almost seeming surprised to hear me speak. She got up and I think she was going to go run a bath but then she stopped. She looked at me very seriously, “Tori,” she let a long pause pass like she was choosing her words carefully, “you have to answer me honestly, okay. . . were you. . . raped?” I looked down the word cutting into my heart. I wanted to lie, I wanted to say I hadn’t and it be the truth but his face, his shoulders, his chest came rushing back into my mind. I sniffled and fought to hold back from crying and finally gave in and nodded, almost admitting it as much to myself as I was to Elizabeth. She took a long deep breath and said, “Tori, you can’t take a bath then, we need to take you to the hospital.” This time I replied much stronger and it hurt my ribs to do so but I let out a loud, “NO.”

  She came back and sat down next to me again. She very carefully, very gently pulled my head to her shoulder. “I don’t understand, but I wont make you do what you don’t want to do.” And again we sat there together like that for a while. “I want to take a hot bath,” I said again softly, “I feel dirty.” She looked at me and starred at me and I could tell she was thinking about it hard. Finally she replied, “I’ll help you if you insist it’s what you want to do, but Tori, there is no going back.” I knew what she meant, but I still felt more gross, more humiliated, more dirty then I had in my whole life. “Help me! Okay,” I asked? She nodded and went into her private bathroom and I heard her run water.

  When she had the bathtub ready Elizabeth came back into the room to get me. “Let me take you to the hospital,” she said adding, “Please!” I shook my head no and set the ice packs down. She helped me to my feet and slowly started to undress me. She was careful and I think made it hurt as little as it could. She gasped when she took off my bra and saw the red bite mark on my breast. And then again when she got my skirt off and saw the bruise inside my thigh. She started helping me walk to her bathroom and said one last time, “Tori, this is a bad idea I should be taking you to a hospital.” But I kept walking to the bathroom and she proved she was what I was then realizing a true friend and helped me into the bathroom. Slowly I sat on the edge of the tub and she helped me move my legs over into the water. Then I slowly sank into the tub as I made it to the bottom I looked up at her and she was crying. I reached up to her and rubbed my thumb on her hand. Through all of this I knew she was my best friend.

  I sat in the tub for a long time soaking wanting to wash away the filth. The word he said to me over and over echoed in my mind, “Slut.” And I felt so much like that word. I hurt so much all over and I could see in Elizabeth’s eyes the shock of seeing the marks on my body. I tried not to look in her eyes too much as she was fighting her own tears and I knew if I looked into her eyes I might break down myself. Right now I was feeling numb and that felt like the safest feeling. She stepped out of the bathroom for a while and came back with sweats and panties and a sports bra. I sat in the tub until the water began to get cold and finally pulled the drain then let her help me out. She dried me off so I wouldn’t have to bend around and I appreciated that. She then helped me dress.

  After we came out of the bathroom I asked her could I spend the night with her and she agreed and I then called home. I had to put on a happy voice and did. I mouthed at her “win” as a question and she nodded so I told my mother we were celebrating the win and asked could I spend the night. Mom asked to speak to Elizabeth and I put her on the phone. I watched Elizabeth and she put on a temporary happy face and answered my mom’s questions I’m sure verifying that I was really spending the night with her. Rather then being upset with my mom for checking on me I felt happy that she cared. Elizabeth handed me back the phone and mom told me it was okay and asked when I’d be home and I told her I would be there before dinner tomorrow.

  I sighed in relief when I was able to hang up the phone. I gave Elizabeth a gentle hug and let out a gasp of relief until it hurt in my ribs. Elizabeth then turned her bed down and helped me get up and walk to sit on the side of the bed and then to lie down. She helped me get my feet under the covers and then turned the lights off except for one next to her side of the bed. She then changed in a pretty black teddy and got into bed too. She turned out the lights and lay down. She took hold of my hand and said, “I’m here if you need me for anything, okay?” “Okay,” I replied knowing the lights were off.

  I tried to put it out of my mind but couldn’t. I couldn’t forget the violence, the assault, the r. . . . I couldn’t even think that word. What had I become?

  CHAPTER 8

  I didn’t sleep very much that night. No sooner then I would drift off to sleep I would begin to dream about being in the hotel room again. I would suddenly wake, terrified shaking and crying and I felt bad because I was waking Elizabeth up as well. But she never got upset with me and just asked me if I was okay to which I always responded that I was. She would give my hand a soft squeeze and stroke my hair softly. I was relieved when the night was over so I could stop dreaming of him and what happened. The next morning when I woke up she told me she was going to get me some breakfast and she disappeared for a while. She returned with a bed tray with fruit and yogurt and a toasted bagel with cream cheese. I ate my breakfast slowly as I still felt in a haze after what had happened. My chest still hurt and it was still hard to breath and I was a little worried if there might be something serious wrong. But I just didn’t think I could ask my mother to take me to the hospital. I started thinking about asking Elizabeth could I tell my mother I fell down the stairs at her house. After eating I really wanted to bathe again so I set the tray aside and headed to the bathroom to take a shower. I asked Elizabeth if she had another pair of panties I could borrow and she quickly got me a fresh pair. I took a long shower and it felt good to shower this time and I ran the water very hot till it almost burned but I needed to feel that to try to somehow make me feel clean of him and maybe even of everything I had been doing. When I got out of the shower I saw my body in the mirror and my bruises looked horrible. I definitely had my first black eye and I could see why my lip bled as I had an obvious split of my lip and it was still a little puffy. My side and lower chest looked horrible and the bruise there was huge and very black and blue. The bite on my breast looked very much like a hickey with teeth imprints and I felt ashamed he marked me like that. The bruise on my leg inside my thigh also looked pretty bad and I worried how much of this I could hide from my mother. As I got dressed I noticed that Elizabeth had taken the dirty underwear out of the bathroom and thought that very nice of her, she was being so kind.

  When I came out of the bathroom Elizabeth asked me how I was doing and I told her I was doing okay. She asked how my ribs were feeling and I told her they still hurt. She invited me to go downstairs to sit out on their back porch and have some lemonade and get my mind off of things and I thought that to be a good idea. She got the lemonade and her dog was outside playing and it was nice to watch him chase a ball as she threw it and it helped me get my mind off of things. I built up my nerve and asked her a question, “Do you think I could tell my mom I fell down the stairs here?” She looked at me stunned and didn’t really know what to say. I could tell she was thinking about it but she also looked very unsure. “I don’t know,” she said, “wouldn’t that make your mom call mine and then she will ask her about what happed so we would have to lie to my mom first.” I nodded thinking about that and I knew it was a lot to ask to blame her home for all my bruises. “I can’t think of any other believable . . . lie,” I added hesitantly. She looked down at the ground thinking and sat quiet for a while. “Maybe you could tell the truth,” she said and I could tell that’s what she really wanted. “I can’t Elizabeth, it’s just too much, my mother would freak and wouldn’t let me ever see Scott again,” I replied. “See Scott. . . you still want to see Scott. . . Look Tori, I don’t know what happened to you, because you wont tell me, but even without knowing anything other then that you look like you got your ass kicked and you admitted you were raped I have enough sense to know that somehow he. . . Scott is responsible for this,” she said strongly. I sat quietly letting what she said fill the silence. I watched her throw the ball again for the dog and he chased it happily. Then the front door bell rang. Elizabeth got up and disappeared into the house.

  As I heard the backdoor open and close again I suddenly heard a familiar voice, “Hey baby cakes,” Scott said and came over to me and leaned in to kiss my cheek, but I turned my face away so he couldn’t. He looked at my face surprised with me turning away, but then his eyes opened wide and he realized why. “What the fuck happened to you,” he asked sounding surprised? “That’s what I’d like to know,” Elizabeth shot back quickly. She then walked over to me and very carefully pulled the sweatshirt I was wearing up to just below my breasts exposing the bruises on my side to Scott. His eyes opened wide and he just starred at me. “Who. . . what. . . how the hell,” he stammered around. Elizabeth looked him square in the eyes. “Who did this to her Scott,” she asked him? He looked at her for just a moment then looked back at me in the eyes. “Did. . . he. . . he did this” he asked still stuttering? I just nodded knowing he knew who did this. “I. . . I um. . . I’m sorry baby,” he added. “You should be you asshole,” Elizabeth shot at him, this is your fault.” I looked at her stunned when she got in front of him and hit him hard in the chest with both hands pushing him back from me and said harshly but quietly, “She was raped, you asshole.” I sat quietly and crossed my arms trying not to cry and I couldn’t look at him and looked down. Scott shifted around on his feet and stuttered again and said, “I. . . he. . . I’m so sorry.” She just starred at him as he starred at me. “You should be. This is your fault,” she added. I couldn’t believe she was saying all this to him but I wasn’t upset with her for it because she was telling the truth. Scott just turned and walked back to the backdoor opening it and heading into the house. Elizabeth paced back and forth breathing hard very angry and finally sat back down in her chair. I just sighed.

 

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