Marked wolf protector wo.., p.8
Marked Wolf (Protector Wolf Shifter Series Book 2), page 8
He’d killed vampires when he was the one who’d ordered his team not to.
At least, not unless it was in self-defense.
He could argue that, but it was tenuous at best. Because he’d gone into their domain.
It was an act of war.
That’s how it would be seen.
Fuck.
And the clubhouse, the place where he needed to go, where he should go, was now off limits.
He didn’t know if a young vampire like Cory would be taken at his word, or if the vampires would use what was clearly a shifter attack in their nightclub as the reason to fight. He didn’t know if he’d be implicated, even if he was on fucking camera.
None of that mattered in the short term.
The safety of his clan and the safety of Tamaska were what mattered.
If the vampires were after her, which they were, he couldn’t lead them to his family. And no way could he let her go it alone.
For now, it seemed, she was stuck with him, whether she liked it or not.
Her very life depended on it.
10
Tamaska
Tamaska glanced at Kodiak while he drove. His foot landed heavily on the accelerator, but his hands relaxed on the steering wheel, his eyes firmly on the road ahead, clear and focused. And calm. How was he so calm?
She was breaking into a thousand pieces after everything that had just happened. Ripples of fear like tiny pricks of electricity ran through her. Right now she could use not knowing any of the things that had happened, too.
But it had. All of it.
Somehow she’d remembered enough of her minimal self-defense training to defend herself against Cory. And…and Kodiak, he—
She cast him a glance. What the fuck had happened to Cory? Was he even still alive?
Worse, did she even care or want to know?
A soft groan escaped her lips as she rubbed her temples.
“Are you all right?” asked Kodiak.
She caught his gaze. Concern shone there; a bright, calming light that soothed her.
But that was a fallacy, wasn’t it? She’d gone from creatures with fangs that drank blood to one with fangs and claws and fur that wanted to rip flesh apart.
Like hers. Like that dog which had attacked and scarred her all those years ago.
Kodiak was that, beneath the handsome, virile man sitting next to her.
A man in clothes that he’d taken from a dead vampire because he was actually a wolf inside, and—
A small sob tried to break free, but she bit down on it and quickly looked out the passenger window of his car. She let the changing scenery tumble through her mind as she tried to find a place inside that was still familiar, still grounded in what she’d known as reality.
But how did someone do that when they’d seen things that ripped open the tiny bubble of her reality into something new and terrifying?
“Tamaska.”
Her skin prickled at the way he said her name, the deep cadence of it, something that could both soothe and rile.
How could she want him the way she did, like the beat of a pagan drum in her veins, and also fear him? All at once he called to her, a creature that had scarred her psyche worse than her flesh, a man who offered her shelter, risked his life for her, and pushed her away.
She wasn’t the type of woman to be conflicted over a man. She was either attracted to them, or she wasn’t. And if one small thing marred that attraction, got her hackles up, she walked. Yet here she was, knowing all she knew about Kodiak, after everything they’d done, everything she’d seen, everything she’d said, still wanting him. Even though the fear lingered.
She leaned her head against the glass, the coolness a balm against her forehead. The lights of the city blurred, flashing past. She was glad he didn’t ask any more questions.
While he’d done what she’d asked and gotten her the hell out of there, she needed a few moments to process, to shake off the chill of the enemy, of everything.
She wanted to coil up in on herself and never unfurl, but she couldn’t. Too much depended on her standing strong. Her job, life, maybe even the future because if bloodsucking creatures of the night wanted the Blood Opal, she didn’t think it was over the monetary value.
And her friend…no way was she going to let Tahla’s death be in vain.
She licked her lips, sitting up.
“Thanks for….” Tamaska couldn’t say the words. What words could she say, anyway? Could she thank him for fending off the vampires? If she did that, she would be admitting out loud that they were real, and she didn’t want to do that.
Oh, she couldn’t deny it, just like she couldn’t deny Kodiak changing into a powerful wolf, but not saying it gave a tiny bit of comfort.
Her world, as she knew it, was gone. Everything had changed.
As much as she wanted to deny the existence of vampires and werewolves, how could she? It was quickly becoming apparent that this was all part of her world.
“My pleasure,” he said.
His tone was soft and warm. The man was intelligent, if arrogant—she’d learned that before she’d discovered his secret. But she’s seen the violence, the power of him as a wolf. And what would happen if he turned that on her?
She cast him a long, low look. Could he change at any moment? Were there signs she needed to watch for? How the fuck would she even know until it was too late? Tamaska swallowed, glancing out the window.
She couldn’t see the moon. Werewolves changed when the moon was full, so did that mean it was now? But he’d changed in daylight. So how did that work?
Horror and supernatural movies and books weren’t her thing. She didn’t know what she needed to watch for, or even if they were accurate.
And if he was hungry, would he eat her?
“I’m not going to change into a wolf,” he said softly, shifting gears as he slowed to turn right. “I can control when I change. You’re not in danger.”
“And if you get hungry?”
He laughed and her hand curled into a fist as anger, hot and bright, bubbled up.
“I’m not going to eat you. I don’t eat people. I like a good burger and a salad and fries as much as the next person.”
“In human form.”
He sighed. “In human form.”
“So—”
“You’re not in danger. Not from me, Tamaska.”
She glanced at him. “And I know that, how?”
“Because,” he said flatly, “you’re still alive.”
Tamaska’s breath caught in her throat, and she squeezed both hands tight. “I…all that…it’s too much.”
“You’re doing remarkably well.”
“I’m scared.” She snapped the words. “I’m scared of dogs. I was attacked by a dog when I was little.”
Automatically she rubbed her arms, over the faded scars there. She was so used to covering them up, but she’d forgotten when making love to Kodiak. Of course, that was before she’d seen him change into the very creature she feared.
“I’m sorry that happened,” said Kodiak. “It wasn’t one of us, we don’t… It was a dog, one that wasn’t raised right and…”
He reached over and placed a hand on her leg. She flinched, imaging it as a paw, claws extended.
“I’m sorry,” he took his hand away and placed it back on the steering wheel.
Somehow, she knew she’d hurt his feelings. She half reached out, letting his words fall through her, and she dropped her hand back to her leg. “I know you won’t hurt me.”
“That’s right. I won’t. I would never do that. I’m trying to protect you.”
She swallowed over the burning lump in her throat. “I can’t help it. That automatic fear. I freeze when I see dogs. The memory plays over in my head, and it’s like I’m always there.”
“If it helps, I’m not a dog,” Kodiak said. “At least not technically.”
“Close enough.” Tamaska sighed. Suddenly she wanted the comfort of home. She wanted to shower, to get into clean, warm clothes and curl up in her bed until she forgot everything that had just happened.
For one night. A few hours. Was it too much to ask?
Cory had attacked her and tried to take her against her will. She’d trusted him.
It shook her down to her very core.
“Can you take me home?” She glanced at Kodiak, dread building in her belly as he took his time in answering.
But finally, he spoke. “It’s not safe.”
“It’s not safe for me to be with you, either,” she snapped back. “After all, you’re nothing but a dog.”
His hands tightened on the steering wheel. “You didn’t seem to be repulsed when we fucked, Tamaska.”
“I didn’t know.”
“So now you’ve got—what it is?—buyer’s remorse?”
She flinched. “I…”
How could she have given herself intimately to him? He might be hot as fuck and great in bed, but she was normally so level-headed. She blamed the Blood Moon Nightclub. After her second visit, she was convinced the place was fucking cursed. Regret gripped her stomach. She hadn’t found the Blood Opal, either, and had only made her life messier. Now she was stuck in a car with a dog.
One she wanted to lash out at. Or hide. Or…she didn’t know.
“I don’t like you or your kind.”
“Noted.” He didn’t sound bothered, but there was something in his tone that whispered she’d hurt him.
“Take me home.”
“Not on your fucking life,” he said. “In case you didn’t notice, those vampires have a thing for you. And I don’t think it’s the hearts and flowers kinda thing.”
“And you’re better how?”
He muttered something she didn’t catch but the sentiment was more than clear, and his annoyance thickened the air. “I don’t want to kill you. Although you’re testing me.”
“Typical dog.”
His look was sharp, brutal. “I can drop you off at one of the lairs we know about. Maybe with you wrapped in a ribbon. As a gift.”
“I want to go home,” she said, pushing the words out.
“You’re not going to be safe there.”
“And I’m safe with you?”
“Yes.”
“Where are you taking me, then?” she asked, a new wave of fear building in her.
“Somewhere safe.”
Tamaska looked out the window and noticed fewer lights. “Away from the city?”
“I know a place where you’ll be safe,” he said. “So yes.”
“No,” she said, but her voice lacked resolve. Her breath shortened, and her mouth dried. She tried to breathe, but bile began to rise up her throat. “I don’t—not with, not—not with you!”
“Jesus, Tamaska, calm the fuck down.”
“Let me out!” She banged on the door. They were going too fast for her to risk opening it.
“Fuck, no. I just risked my life to save you. You’re staying put.”
She banged harder on the door, her movements more frantic.
“Let me out,” she demanded, I panic in full flight.
“Deep breaths, and count each one to ten. In and out. Calm and we can talk.”
She did as he ordered, hating him for it, for being right, for seeing her panic attack start. For being the calm voice of reason.
When she was back from that edge, she raised a shaking hand and rubbed it over her face. “This is…”
“Too much?” He sighed again. “Yeah, I get it, but this is how it is, and you’ll adapt. So, sit back. This is a good chance for us to talk, you know, to really get to know each other.”
What the fuck was Kodiak going on about? Get to know each other? What did he think this was? Some kind of first-date picnic? Suddenly her stomach lurched, and the taste of acid filled her mouth.
“Stop or I’ll fucking throw up in your car.” Flustered, she tried to find the door handle.
“Fuck.” Kodiak slammed on the brakes and swerved off the side of the road, tires screeching to a stop.
Tamaska opened the door and stumbled out, falling to her knees as she gulped in the sweet, fresh air, and the wave of nausea passed. But she shook and squeezed her eyes shut.
She sensed Kodiak by her side, his heat and aura. His being there oddly comforted her, and while she still needed to wrap her brain around the fact he could transform into the one thing that set off a phobia and hate in her she couldn’t control, she was glad he was there.
The whole thing was bizarre.
How could she both find comfort in him and want to run? How could she desire and hate him? If the hate was because of his personality, of things he did, she could understand. But the fact he was a dog…
She pushed up, needing to get away. Needing to have air free of him, free of everything.
But she couldn’t be free.
Her friend had died.
She knew things about the world she couldn’t ever unknow.
And Kodiak was one of those things.
Her legs shook as she took a few weak steps, wobbling like a newborn kitten. She put a hand on the warm metal of the car’s hood. The hum of spent energy from the drive still lingering.
What was she going to do? She wanted to walk away from the car, away from Kodiak, so she didn’t have to face her fear of dogs. But at the same time, part of her knew she needed his protection.
Beyond that…? What? What could there ever be? It didn’t matter that she wanted him with a desire that went deep down. It didn’t matter his smile and touch could both melt and ignite her. How the hell did one get over their phobia and hate of something like him?
Not Kodiak the man, but Kodiak the dog.
They were one and the same. Entangled so deep that it wasn’t a simple matter of therapy. This was about a man who was something she couldn’t abide. Something that had once tried to kill her. Something that had once maimed her, marked her.
It hadn’t been him.
Just a dog.
But that dog had tangled now with him, because this man she could love was also, at his core, what she hated. He transformed into her fears.
No one could never get past that.
Could they?
And knowing how good it was with him, how they clicked and had a magic that was doomed, she’d rather not see him at all.
She’d prefer to take her chances with the vampires.
At least with those creatures she wasn’t confused.
She just hated and feared them.
Tamaska staggered, her vision blurring. Then his strong arms were around her, holding her, soothing her when she wasn’t sure if she wanted to be soothed.
“I don’t know what the fuck you have to prove, but trust me, I’m not into fucking someone who hates me for what I am. And I’m not trying to get you into bed, if that’s what you’re thinking.”
She shot him a look. “I’m not.”
“And I’m not about to fucking harm you, either. I risked my life for you. I’ve risked a lot, and frankly, I’m at the end of my rope right now. I need to heal, I need you to be safe, so please, get in the car and trust me or you’ll end up dead.”
For a moment, she considered that. Not death, but just pretending she was. Taking off and hiding out. But she wasn’t one to give up. She’d promised herself to get the Blood Opal back, and that was what she would do, even if it meant being with Kodiak until the gem was found.
Tamaska tilted her head and locked eyes with Kodiak. She looked deeply into his, trying to read what sort of man, or wolf, he really was. He had protected her multiple times. His actions were noble. His intentions seemed trustworthy, even though he was a wolf.
“I know this is a lot,” he said, “but standing by the road is foolish.”
“I’m trying to gauge if I can trust you.”
“After all that? You need to ask?” He shook his head.
She tried to choose her words carefully. “I know what you are now, and I’m trying to see if it’s worth the risk.”
“I’m trustworthy and you know it on some level, otherwise you’d never have gotten in my car.”
She glared. “I didn’t have a choice.”
“We all have choices.”
But did she? “I need to find the Blood Opal.”
“So do I. It’s important. The vampires can’t have it. Or keep it.”
She nodded. “Agreed. Seems our goals are intertwined.” They were destined to work together to find the gem that had disrupted both of their lives.
“Great. Get in the fucking car.”
But she’d had enough of being in the dark, of not knowing the next move.
“First, tell me where you’re taking me,” demanded Tamaska, keeping her gaze locked on his.
“Somewhere safe.”
“Where?” She put her hands on her hips and frowned. “Otherwise, I’ll leave.”
A darkness crossed his face and heat surged in her as his eyes narrowed and his mouth thinned. He took a step closer.
“I’ve had enough, Tamaska.”
“Too bad—”
“Try and leave. I’ll grab you and tie you up if I have to.”
He growled softly, and a surge of adrenaline coursed through her, igniting the heat into flame. She couldn’t face him if he changed into a wolf right now. Exhaustion weighed on her, and she swayed.
Kodiak slid his arms around her, keeping her upright. His strength once more soothed her fear. How was she ever going to reconcile that he was a wolf but was never going to attack her? That he called to something in her and frightened her at the same time? Love and hate… If she couldn’t work it out, it would hinder them in their search for the Blood Opal.
And that could mean death.
11
Tamaska
“Tamaska,” he breathed against her hair.
The heat licked through her, a flame of need, and she tried to push it—and him—away.
“Don’t.”
He didn’t let go.
She told herself his embrace was too tight, his fingers on her nothing more than a vice, but they weren’t. She told herself she was too weak, that to fight him after everything she’d gone through was too much, but it wasn’t. She told herself she didn’t trust him because how could she trust someone who could change into a wolf, but she did.
