She just stares at me with her mouth wide open, her eyes fill with water, but I don’t feel guilty, if I was the only man in her life to tell her this, hopefully she’d learn a lesson and if she didn’t, what did I care, as long as she left me the hell alone I didn’t care.

  “Your dick probably doesn’t work anyway.” She spits at me.

  “Sure princess, that’s why you were just begging for it.”

  She stamps her feet in front of me, honestly if I didn’t know any better I’d have thought a child was stood in front of me, waving her head as a high pitch scream erupts from her throat, stamping to her room, she slams the door.

  “Night princess.” I smile.

  God, this whole weekend had been a nightmare, I’d never seen a family like it before, it was like I’d signed up to join the circus without actually knowing what that entailed, when I’d asked Ethan what his task was he’d only told me that I had to go to Laney’s parents for Christmas and pretend to be her boyfriend, it seemed like the perfect opportunity for me to finally win her heart, but this, this I hadn’t been warned about, yes, one thing was certain, Laney’s family was completely nuts.

  Walking back into the room, Laney is still sleeping sounding, I’m glad she didn’t witness that, I was horrified by that display I couldn’t imagine how it would make Laney feel, it seemed like Laney’s family only had one goal, to hurt and disappoint her, it was sad really, a family is supposed to love and care for you, but in my short time here, I’d seen no love, no wonder she didn’t come here often, in fact I was unsure why she still came here at all, but she wasn’t like her family, she had a big heart, it was one of her best qualities and she had many.

  Sliding back in beside her, she doesn’t even know I’ve left, which is just as well, I half contemplate if I should tell her what has just occurred, but I don’t want to hurt her, her family does enough of that, it’s best this is never mentioned again, after all it’s not like I’d be making this a yearly habit, once was enough with the crazy bunch, they made silent hill seem like Disney world, yeah I’d keep one secret from her but only because I never wanted to mention it again, it was ridiculous the lengths they would go to just to hurt her, so tonight I’d protect her from this rather embarrassing act that has ensued.

  The girl made my skin crawl, the fact that she thought by standing there naked, I’d just climb into her bed was humorous, what did she think I was, well it appeared she thought exactly what Laney thought I was, but I’d prove her wrong, I’d prove them all wrong, I had eyes for one girl and one girl only and she was laying right beside me.

  Moving my arm around her body, pulling her closer so I could smell the intoxicating smells that always evaporated from her skin, she turns to face me with her eyes still closed, mumbling, while nestling her face into my chest and that’s when I do it, I relax into her touch, feeling her body so close to mine the heat instantly spreads across my chest, she was so worried about letting me in because she was scared that I’d hurt her, but she didn’t see that it was really me that was vulnerable, she’d brought me to my knees, broke down every wall I’d ever had up, I was the one who should be scared because giving her my heart, I was ultimately giving her the power to destroy me, I should have been scared, but I wasn’t, I’d give her every piece of me, I’d let her destroy me, if I could only have moments like this, I’d let her destroy me, I didn’t care, as long as I could be here like this with her, I’d gave her that power because I’d given my heart away to her a long time ago, she just never realised it.

  fourteen

  Silver Lake Dreaming

  I’d arose early, with the sun streaming through letting in small cracks of light to let me know morning had arose, Beau was sleeping soundly at the side of me, strange, never thought I’d see that, like ever, maybe he was right, miracles do happen.

  The way he touched me embedded a memory into my soul, like a secret I could keep deep within myself to revisit later when he was more than likely gone, I was setting myself up for heartache, I knew that, but try as I might, I just couldn’t stop myself when it came to Beau, he was like a sin, he devoured you and uncovered every part of you that you had kept hidden, he was sinful and tempting, a forbidden flower that you knew you shouldn’t pick, but against all odds you’d pick it anyway.

  Yes, Beau was my sinful desire I think while sat in the kitchen blowing on my black coffee, not a soul in sight, this was when the house was at its most grandest, when the world slept, the creaks and sounds of the old Manor always made me think the house was alive, like it knew things you possibly could not and when it was as quiet as it was right now, it was like the house was whispering all of its secrets, secrets untold, secrets long forgotten, just a secret between you and the house.

  When I was a child, just a young girl with silly thoughts, silly dreams, I’d sometimes sit here and listen to the noises and creaks the house made while everyone was sleeping, I’d listen to the whispers of the old Manor and I’d whisper my own secrets right back, I’d always smile because the house knew my secrets, but I also knew, the house would never tell.

  “You’re up early.” I see Mary smiling as she puts on her flowery apron and starts pottering about the kitchen.

  I guess me and the house would have to speak another time, it seemed that the house was no longer asleep.

  “You know I don’t like to waste time in bed.” I smile.

  “So what will it be?”

  “Oh, you don’t need to do that—.”

  “Its my job.” She laughs, “pancakes?” I want to tell her I’m fine, that she doesn’t need to make a fuss of me, after all, she’s part of the family, even though my mother still referred to her as ‘the help’ but truth be told she’d be lost without Mary and she knew it, not that she’d ever admit to it, suddenly I hear a loud grumble in the pit of my empty stomach, looking down, I smile, “sure, why not.”

  The pancakes melt in my mouth, they are just like I remember them, buttery and sweet, the tantalizing taste of buttery pancakes as they slide down my throat makes me groan out loud with every delicious bite, the taste instantly takes me back to my childhood, I used to sit here just like this with Mary when the house was quiet, silently enjoying the delicious treat with the morning sun beaming through the large window panes.

  “Feeling better?”

  “Much, thank you.” I really was grateful, it’s strange, I hadn’t even felt hungry, but I sure had worked up an appetite, must have been all the sex my body wasn’t used to.

  “So, tell me about that man of yours.”

  “He’s not really mine.” I honestly tell her, after all I can’t bare to lie to her, she has one of those faces where you can’t help but be honest, she’s so kind and welcoming, it would be a cardinal sin to lie to someone like Mary.

  “Does he know that.” Her eyebrows raise, “know what?” She shakes her head at me, “that he’s not really yours.” I nod, “well, I’ve seen a man in love and that man, my dear is absolutely besotted.” She walks off to get on with her work, leaving once again alone with my thoughts.

  That couldn’t be true, I think I’d have known if Beau had feelings for me wouldn’t I?

  No, I wasn’t stepping to the crazy place, he was just keeping up the charade, Ethan clearly couldn’t make it so Beau stepped in, he’d only fucked me because that’s what he’d been trying to do for months now, there was no meaning to it, I shake my head, “I wonder where she gets these crazy ideas from, probably her books.”

  It was just sex, it couldn’t be anything more, after all, Beau didn’t do relationships, not anymore, isn’t that what he had said, yes, that’s all this was, just a holiday fling and when we went back we’d forget it ever happened, well he would, I don’t think I’d ever be able to forget, I needed some air, I needed to get out of here, get out of my head, and I knew just the place to go to find peace.

  “Hey Laney.” I look up and see a pristine Selena, god even this early in the morning she looked perfect, did she roll out of bed and flick her hand and in one swift movement perfection ensued, god I hated her, whatever happened to women looking like real women, grabbing an old shirt and sweats, bunching your hair in a messy bun to eat breakfast, after all who would you possibly bump into? Maybe she had it right though, she made an effort, is that what I was supposed to be doing? Nah, why ruin perfection I think with a smile.

  “Hey.”

  “Where is that delicious man of yours?” I had to hand it to her, this was the most she’d ever spoke to me, of course I knew why, because I’d brought eye candy, I’d brought something she wanted, she couldn’t have been less obvious if she tried.

  “Sleeping.”

  “Yes, I couldn’t help hearing—.” Oh of course she couldn’t, I’d be shocked if she didn’t have a glass pressed against the door. “The good loving—.”

  “Yes, thank you Selena.”

  “I’m just saying—he clearly knows how to—please a woman.”

  Oh my god, could she be anymore transparent, I’m not sure why she was even still invited to these functions, she was just cock hungry and clearly Beau had piqued her interest, shit, why did I even care, it’s not like he was mine, was it?

  “Any how, I just wanted to congratulate you on getting good dick, it’s not easy to find.” She waltzes out of the kitchen after her very crude statement and her words hang in the air.

  Getting good dick? Who even thought to say something like that to someone, I mean she wasn’t wrong, but why would anyone ever say that? Congratulations, like I’d won the fucking lottery, I shake my head, god no wonder she couldn’t keep a man, she was a bloody nightmare.

  Placing my coat around my body instantly the warmth comforts me, “going somewhere?” Looking up there is Mary once again, “my favourite spot.” I wink.

  “You don’t want to wait for—.” She points towards the ceiling, “No, I would rather go alone.” I smile, hoping that she gets the message that I don’t want to share my secret spot with anyone—not even Beau.

  Walking into the cool winter breeze I can finally breathe, the air had always felt stiff inside the Manor, like your air supply was slowly been cut off, but once you stepped passed the threshold into the great outdoors there was always a sense of calm, peace and serenity, of course it had nothing to do with the Manor, more the people that resided inside of it.

  The air around me swirls, picking up the fallen leaves and swirling them in the cool breeze like they were been swallowed in a winter vortex, the clear skies reminded me of Beau’s glistening crystalline blue eyes with cracks of sunlight begging to be pushed out, walking into the clearing of the wooded area surround by trees and greenery, the air moved different, almost magical, hearing nothing but the crunch of leaves and twigs beneath my feet with every step I took.

  The walk from the house through the wooded area was peaceful and serene, I’d always felt more like the outdoors were home than the Manor ever was, coming to the end of the woods the trees curved into an alcove shape, little roses would sprout and cover the alcove in the summer months, walking through it felt like you were stepping through to wonderland, stepping through the alcove I see the object of my desire, the one reason that made coming here worth it, there she sat Silver Lake, she immediately took my breath away, this was the most beautiful feature of the Manor, it was like the place you’d go to find your soul, sitting down on the grassy area just in front of the lake, I finally take a breath and marvel at the beauty of Silver Lake.

  I’d always come here to think, that special place you’d go, everyone had one, the one place you could escape, to get a clearer head, as the cold wind blew around my body, looking into the glistening of the lake, the ripples of movement from the water rendered me mesmerized, I couldn’t tear my eyes away as I stared into the magical silver lagoon of the lake.

  I wasn’t sure what was happening with Beau, I felt like I’d fallen into an alternate reality, I mean me and Beau, it was ridiculous, but the connection was there I could feel it, but how far could a connection get you? What would life be like when we left here? There was only one day left and it had seemed so much had happened in that one day, I secretly wish that Ethan had showed up because then I wouldn’t be stuck with the dilemma I was currently in, but we hadn’t discussed what this even was, if it was anything at all, he’d just ravaged me at every chance he’d gotten, not that I was complaining because Beau had a magic dick, anytime he entered me it was like I was transported to another dimension, Beau and his magic stick, I almost laugh at the very thought, but you know what they said about men with a magic stick, they’d fuck your heart—literally, maybe I was just over thinking the entire thing, maybe I should just enjoy it and go with the glow, enjoy my little weekend fling and then just business as usual, after all why shouldn’t I enjoy his magic stick, pretty soon him and his magic stick would once again disappear from my life, yes I would enjoy it—for now.

  Laying back onto the dewy grass, I feel the damp of grass crawl up my back, it’s strange it doesn’t make me want to move, it’s actually comforting and refreshing, looking into the sky, I sigh, “nothing ever lasts forever.” I say to the sky as I close my eyes.

  fifteen

  Dreaming Of Laney

  When I’d come here I knew she’d be shocked, in fact I was unsure what her reaction would be, after all she was expecting Ethan and what she’d got was—me.

  I wasn’t planning on fucking her, but every time I was near her I’d just see those big eyes full of innocence and I’d fucking melt, I’d fucked her repeatedly in my head, too many times to count, Laney was like my secret fantasy, I’d expected her to stop me, I wanted her to stop me because I knew once we’d passed that point in our dysfunctional relationship there was no going back and why would I want to, she felt and tasted like fucking heaven.

  Waking up, I’d planned to give her a repeat performance of last night, I craved her, I couldn’t get enough of her, she even haunted my dreams, I’d awoken to a raging hard on, dreaming of fucking her once more, that’s how you knew you had it bad, when you were dreaming about a girl you’d just fucked, but she wasn’t any girl—she was Laney.

  Instead of getting lost in her, I was disappointed, I was met with an empty bed and silence, she’d got up and left me here, but as I look at the clock on her night stand it’s still early, so she can’t have left that long ago surely, god, why did she constantly run from me, wasn’t that usually the guys job, our dynamic was fucked, now I’d have to go hunt her down and find out what I’d done to piss her off this time.

  After a quick shower I race down the stairs, everyone is just getting up it seems, running into the kitchen I see a plump lady cleaning the kitchen counter, sure, I think, she looks friendly enough.

  “Oh, if it isn’t Laney’s Beau.” She smiles at her own joke.

  “Have you seen Laney by any chance?”

  “As a matter of fact, I have.”

  “Could you—.”

  “She’s down by the lake—.” She points her finger in my direction, “but you didn’t hear that from me.”

  Strange, was it a secret? Maybe she didn’t want to be found, but I wasn’t sitting with her crazy family alone, I’d sorely regretted staying for dessert the night before, we’d all assumed she was exaggerating when she told us all of her family, clearly she was down playing just how weird the entire motley crew was, I’d gotten a migraine just listening to them, I thanked the only sane person in this house and headed for the lake with the directions she’d given.

  The walk to the lake was a peaceful one, I could see why she liked it so much, there were hidden depths to her that I never realised or maybe I just never took the time to notice, she had hidden layers that unraveled slowly the more time you spent with her, but it was like a curse, the more time you spent with her, the more addicted to her you’d become.

  Watching her from the trees, just laid by the lake, my heart very nearly stopped, she was breathtakingly beautiful, just seeing her like this, innocent and carefree, she looked like she didn’t have a care in the world, I tried to look around to see the view that she loved so much, but try as I might I couldn’t peel my eyes away from her, she was a vision, like she belonged here by the lake, her long hair swishing around her body like a beautiful mermaid, her slender body almost hidden by the mound of greenery she lay upon, in that moment I knew, there was definitely something about Laney, she had put my heart in my mouth, every time I’d looked at her my heart had beat so fast I’d thought it would fall out of my chest, yes Laney was an enigma, she had stole the breath from my body and if I had her attention I’d gladly give it to her.

  Taking small steps towards her, I wasn’t sure what my next move was, I never was sure when I was in her presence, all I knew was that she was there and I needed to be near her, kneeling before her head, her beautiful eyes are closed, reaching down, gently touching her shoulders, a small sigh leaves her lips, shit, even that small simple gesture has my cock jumping in anticipation, her eyes slowly open and she finally looks up at me, “Beau—.” Moving my head down my lips crash down on top of hers, gasping all her desire into my mouth, I can feel her trembling beneath me, swiftly moving around her, my lips finally release hers, pushing my body down onto hers she gasps once more, what is it about those sweet little gasps that sends the blood rushing straight to my cock, I don’t know, but every time she does it the pulsing in my pants shows the hidden desire I have for her—all for her.

  “What are you doing here?”

  “Would you believe me if I told you that I missed you.” She shakes her head, “oh, little elf, you still don’t know what you do to me do you?”

 

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