Hope deferred, p.8
Hope Deferred, page 8
He read too many books. Was that the problem? Would he feel the same dissatisfaction if he hadn’t read about so many fascinating places all around the world?
Or maybe it was his cell phone and the way the whole world opened up in a screen held in his hand. Colorful images he could view with the touch of a finger, like a magic wand.
He could search for and find the answer to anything. He read a lot about the West. It was the place of his dreams, though it was no longer wild the way things were in the Louis L’Amour novels he had read.
He saw Newfoundland, Iceland, Nigeria, Russia, and Yugoslavia. He could view the Galapagos, watch the Komodo dragon and the giant tortoises. Everything.
If he joined up and made that promise to God and man he would be expected to stay committed to a lifetime of drudgery. He would have to get rid of the cell phone, grow long hair and a beard, dress in broadfall pants and suspenders.
But he could also marry Anna then. With Anna by his side, life took on a certain hopefulness. She was truly the light of his life. Her laugh, her flashing eyes, the way she walked, the way her teeth protruded just slightly, even the way she shrugged her shoulders when she didn’t know what to say.
She just filled his heart, his mind. She fulfilled a place in his life that no one or nothing else could.
He loved her.
So why should her parents’ wishes throw him off track? In a sense, the compass with the needle pointing north had fallen away, leaving him with no clear sense of direction. He had tried to glean some guidance from his parents, but with only a mild, doubtful form of approval he was reeling like a drunken person, trying to stay upright without equilibrium.
Anna. Joining the church. Self-denial. A car. Crazy fun weekends. The whole world to see. A bank account that could make it all possible.
All of these things arranged and rearranged themselves in his mind until he was so weary he dropped the pitchfork and strode off into the house to shower before falling into bed and letting sleep overtake him.
CHAPTER 7
THE FISHER HOME LOST A SMALL AMOUNT OF THE SERENITY THE FAMILY had always practiced. Elias found himself doing absentminded things that irritated him, which turned into reprimanding Kathryn for small things that normally bothered no one. He watched Anna with narrowed eyes and imagined he saw a hardening of her mouth, a determined set of her jaw.
The long winter evenings of sharing stories, board games, and reading out loud were fractured by Anna’s absence. Ensconced in her room, her legs curled beneath her, covered by a warm quilt, she read her Bible, seeking answers she already knew. Rebellion warred within her conscience.
“Honor thy father and mother.” It was the creed by which they lived. It was not unfair, this sifting of David. They were merely being careful, wanting only what was good for her future, her soul.
Other girls lived and obeyed these exact same requirements. Her mother had taken the time to explain in detail the fundamental beliefs of a solid courtship and marriage. If Dave could not deny himself to live a godly life, then how would he ever understand the first basic step a man must take, which was to leave his parents, cleave to his wife, and give his life for her?
A husband was to love his wife as Christ loved the church.
But he might be able to do that. She would try him.
She would date against her parents’ wishes, and with God’s help, mold Dave into the person her parents wanted him to be. Her heart leaped at the thought of bringing him into her home on a Sunday afternoon—tall, handsome Dave, with his quick, bright smile and magnetic energy.
She felt sure that he would change, given enough love, patience, and time. And if not, well, then she’d know. But she had no doubt that he loved her, and she was confident that the fruits of self-denial and humility would appear given a little time and gentle encouragement.
She said yes.
He washed the dusty carriage that had been stored behind the buggy since his rumschpringa had begun.
He hated the feeling of actually being frightened of his horse. He wasn’t prepared for the fiery spirit, the amount of muscle and power that refused to obey his commands. He had to ask his father to help him get the horse between the shafts, after which the animal reared and balked and backed the carriage into the shed wall.
When Dave became frustrated he started yanking on the bridle, yelling at the excited horse, which only made matters worse, until his father told him to calm down so his horse could do the same.
Stupid horse. Driving a horse and buggy was just dumb. A car went wherever you needed to go, and fast.
He sat in the buggy, holding the reins while the horse stood, flanks quivering, ears swiveling from being pointed forward to laid back, listening for commands. Suddenly the horse jerked forward, but then refused to pull the carriage, hopping from one foot to the other. Dave lost his temper and brought the ends of the reins across the horse’s back, resulting in a high rearing, a twisting and bucking that upended the carriage, brought the front hub of the wheel crashing down on the corner trim of the buggy shed, bending it. His father lost his temper as well.
He yelled at Dave, told him never to whip a horse when he was balking, and didn’t he know any better?
They worked together in silence to untangle the horse, fix the corner trim as best they could, and Dave stalked off into the house and slammed the door behind him.
He walked to Anna’s house on Saturday evening. She met him on the porch, a vision in a sky-blue dress with a smile of welcome, a hand extended in formal greeting.
He took her hand and could not let go.
Here was Anna, the love of his life. Being with her made all his doubts disappear. It left only a clear path that shone its light for him to follow, through the maze of cars and weekends with his buddies, through the possibility of leaving all of it behind and striking out on his own to see the world, through horses and buggies and strict Amish customs and parents who didn’t have any clear answers.
Anna was the fulfillment of all his needs.
“It’s so good to see you,” she breathed, her voice so filled with emotion it was only a husky whisper.
“And you. It’s been a long time.”
“It has. Are you ready to meet my parents?”
His eyes went to the windows.
“I guess.”
She laughed. He had forgotten that sound, the full-throated bell-like sound of pure happiness.
“They won’t bite.”
He thought later that if they had bitten him, it would at least be honest and forthright. He had never seen quite the display of formality without feeling. He was not welcome, plain and simple.
“Good evening!”
A bright-eyed, overly friendly smile from Elias Fisher, a somber tight-lipped hello from his wife, who appeared to have been dragged by her feet to a place of disgrace.
So this is how it’s going to be, Dave thought. I’m an intruder on a calm and peaceful, well-ordered family, snatching their daughter away against their wishes.
As the seconds ticked away, the tension increased, with Dave becoming uncomfortable, then scrambling for an opportunity to get away.
Elias looked at Dave, asked about his work.
“I’m roofing.”
“Hard work. Do you like it?”
“Yeah.”
“You do? I always assumed roofing work to be hard on a back?”
Did every sentence have to be a question?
“I like it. The fast pace suits me just fine.”
“So you’re a worker, huh?”
“I guess so.”
Anna sat with her hands knotted in her lap, her back so straight she seemed to be leaning forward. He looked at her, hoped she’d help him through this, but her eyes were focused on a spot on the floor directly in front of her shoes.
This was not going the way she had hoped.
Dave swallowed. His mouth was dry. He swallowed again, hoping his Adam’s apple didn’t bob up and down for all to see. Anna’s sisters eyed him with open curiosity, their faces so much like hers.
“Well,” Anna said brightly, “I guess we’ll be going.”
“And where would that be?” Elias asked, his smile wide and toothy.
“We’re walking to my friend Susan’s house.”
“Oh?”
“Yes. She’s dating too.”
This was seemingly the signal for the mother to assert her rules.
“Yes. Dating is a good thing. I remember our own time so well, before we were married.”
Dave watched her face, as blank as an unused piece of paper. The only sign of life were her darting blue eyes, which seemed to pin everyone to their chair.
“Um, Dave?”
“Yes?”
“We have parental guidelines in this house, and we hope you will come to respect them. Anna must be home by eleven thirty, and your time alone with her will be over by twelve. The time you spend in the kitchen, of course, will be around the table for a snack, or whatever, after which you will be expected to leave.”
She cleared her throat.
“This, of course, would all be unnecessary if you belonged to the Cardinals, which you don’t. We are hoping you’ll join.”
“So I have this folder containing the rules and ordnung of our group, and we expect you to adhere to them. I included a book on Christian courtship. We require total hands off.”
The ire rose in Dave’s throat. His nostrils dilated, his breath came in quick, hot puffs. He shuffled his feet, glanced at Anna who seemed to have lost all color, her face as white as porcelain.
“I think we’ll go now,” she said quietly.
“All right. We expect you home between eleven and eleven thirty.”
“Yes, Mom. I’ll get my coat.”
Nothing was said until she returned, slipped her arms into the sleeves of her coat, buttoned it, adjusted a long white scarf, pulled on matching gloves, and looked up at him.
“Ready?”
He’d never been more ready, but he only nodded, taking his leave as quickly as possible.
“Whoah,” he said, stepping off the porch.
“What?”
“Those guys mean business.”
“Who? My parents? Please don’t be angry, Dave. You knew they were strict.”
“It’s not just strict. It’s stupid. Does she really think we’re going to listen to that curfew? Whoever heard of such a thing? We come and go as we please at my house. Nobody says anything.”
“Your house is very different than mine.”
“Yeah, evidently. Yet we’re both Amish, go to the same church, went to school together all those years, and here we are.”
The air was biting with a wet, frosty cold. The puffs of air from their mouths evaporated into the night air. The surrounding white fields were flecked with snow-covered houses and barns, the road a black ribbon that wound away into oblivion. Their steps did not match, his long strides crunched to two of hers. He wanted to hold her gloved hand, the way guys did when they liked a girl, but he didn’t. Did gloves take care of the “hands-off” deal?
The evening was spent playing lively board games in the basement of Susan’s home. Her boyfriend, Aaron Jay, was not an acquaintance of Dave’s but proved to be entertaining in a childish way. The way he spoke, his gestures, seemed more like a boy of fourteen than a person, he guessed, older than himself.
Susan shrieked the affected, “Aaron Jay!” at regular intervals, which left him braying like a donkey, all his teeth and gums exposed.
Dave tried hard and realized he needed to lower his high expectations if he wanted to move in Anna’s circle of friends. They were so different from his own group, who were more world wise, more in sync with the times.
Watching Anna, being with her, made it all worthwhile. He could do this for her sake.
She was simply the prettiest, sweetest girl he had ever met. Kind, quiet, but not too quiet, laughing easily, quick to get a joke, she was just perfect in that sky-blue dress that accentuated her eyes, brought out the light in them, and set off her blonde hair.
He was so in love, he couldn’t take his eyes off her. He would go to the ends of the earth for her, lay down his life, whatever that meant.
He took to reading his Bible. He dug it out from beneath his magazines and books, cracked it open, and began to read.
He would learn how to be good, the way Anna was. She never talked in a negative manner about anyone, respected her parents as far as he could tell, helped her mother at home on weekdays, and seemed to be an angel, almost.
He read one of the Old Testament books, Leviticus, and got so bored he flipped to the New Testament, about Jesus’ birth.
He learned all this in school, so it wasn’t exactly new or particularly interesting. But he kept going, just for the sake of reading his Bible, so he would feel good from the inside out.
At work, he was his normal self. Outspoken, opinionated. He got into serious arguments with English coworkers about politics and foreign affairs he knew nothing about, then got ticked off when they made fun of him. He got up on the roof and slapped his nailer down in double quick time, flung the shingles around with jerky movements that belied his inner anger, then wouldn’t speak to anyone the remainder of the day.
His boss shook his head. He’d have a lot to learn, that kid.
His father took notice and talked to his mother in private.
“Eppas lets.”
“Now what?”
His mother looked up from the Keepers of Home magazine, her fleece housecoat gathered around her, a soft throw across her knees. She had looked forward to this all day, and here was Eli bothering her with his concerns.
Reluctantly she closed the magazine, laid it aside, and looked at her husband, who had just come in from checking water pipes in the heifer barn.
“It’s Dave. I’m worried about him.”
“Well, whatever for? He’s dating a nice girl, the one he’s always wanted.”
To her way of thinking, dating and marrying a nice girl was all they needed to keep them in the fold, especially the wild ones. The ones like Dave and his brother Amos, with that quick energy and temper.
“That’s the problem, right there.”
“What are you talking about?”
Eli came up with some weird notions, as far as she was concerned. Now whatever did he mean by that? Sure Elias and Barbie were better than most, but how could that be a problem? She lifted her magazine, kept two fingers inserted to the place where she was reading, and hoped he’d hurry up and say what he had to say, which would likely be something off the wall.
“I’m afraid they’ll try to mold him into something he’s not. Dave won’t bend easily. He’ll break out somewhere else, you mark my words.”
“Well, if he likes her, he’ll change. I don’t see a problem.”
“He’d be better off dating someone from his own group.”
“See, that’s why we have some of these daughters-in-law who have a hard time with submission. They aren’t taught at home. Anna is taught well in all things like that. Those people are Bible readers.”
Eli cast her a sharp glance.
“A bunch of stuff those people read is not what I’d recommend.”
“Like what?”
“Oh, those child-rearing books. I don’t go for that stuff.”
“Well, maybe you should. Look at the way your boys ran around.”
“They are your boys too.”
Rachel lifted her magazine, pursed her lips and glared at her husband. There he went again, always had to have the last word. Her right arm didn’t feel right. She lifted it, flexed her fingers, winced as pain shot through her shoulder. She shouldn’t have moved that dresser upstairs, but around here, if you wanted something done, you had to do it yourself.
Too busy. Eli should let one of the boys take on the farm so they could retire. Of course, she wasn’t ready for a Daudy house, those anna enda stuck to the side of the original farmhouse.
Nine chances out of ten, he’d want Abner to take over the farm, and it was not her choice of daughter-in-law, that one. Thin and pinched, eating gluten-free and swallowing dozens of natural pills she didn’t need and thinking everyone should do the same.
Her daughter-in-law of choice was that sweet girl, Anna. Now there was a winner. Dave was lucky to have her.
He’d go through this roofing spree, then settle down on the farm with a girl like her. Besides, she didn’t care what Eli said; this family could do with a shot of spirituality.
When they were old, Anna would always be willing to help. She would have been raised that way.
She lifted her magazine, saw a recipe for homemade taco pizza and thought how that would be something Dave would like. Although Eli probably wouldn’t eat it. That man ate nothing but meat and potatoes, seven days a week if she let him.
CHAPTER 8
WINTER DRIPPED AND RAN INTO AN EARLY EAGER SPRING WITH LAVENDER and yellow crocuses appearing between mounds of slushy snow like soapsuds. The air had a bite to it, but the sun did its best to remind everyone of the warmth that would soon arrive.
Dave sat in the gray construction truck on his way to work, his cell phone clenched in both hands playing a video game, seeing neither the spring around him, the receding urban buildings, or the wide highway that stretched ahead of him. His coworkers were used to his obsession with games, so they mostly ignored him, knowing that the phone was off limits after they arrived at work.
He was not in a good mood. He felt caged, hampered by the life that had been chosen for him. A settlement of Amish people so thick and heavy he could barely turn his head without running into someone he knew. Rules applied to his life like handcuffs.
This thing of dating the way Anna’s parents wanted was beginning to get him down. There wasn’t one thing normal or natural about sitting in the kitchen, sipping coffee he didn’t want, eating brownies he didn’t like, knowing both parents likely stood at the bedroom door with their ears plastered to the surface, hoping to catch a sentence they didn’t approve of.
He couldn’t stand either of them. The way they spoke, the way they moved in righteous circles, the approach they used to extract bits of information from their willing daughter while he bristled with resentment. He felt it was none of their business what he said or did, where they went or with whom.
Or maybe it was his cell phone and the way the whole world opened up in a screen held in his hand. Colorful images he could view with the touch of a finger, like a magic wand.
He could search for and find the answer to anything. He read a lot about the West. It was the place of his dreams, though it was no longer wild the way things were in the Louis L’Amour novels he had read.
He saw Newfoundland, Iceland, Nigeria, Russia, and Yugoslavia. He could view the Galapagos, watch the Komodo dragon and the giant tortoises. Everything.
If he joined up and made that promise to God and man he would be expected to stay committed to a lifetime of drudgery. He would have to get rid of the cell phone, grow long hair and a beard, dress in broadfall pants and suspenders.
But he could also marry Anna then. With Anna by his side, life took on a certain hopefulness. She was truly the light of his life. Her laugh, her flashing eyes, the way she walked, the way her teeth protruded just slightly, even the way she shrugged her shoulders when she didn’t know what to say.
She just filled his heart, his mind. She fulfilled a place in his life that no one or nothing else could.
He loved her.
So why should her parents’ wishes throw him off track? In a sense, the compass with the needle pointing north had fallen away, leaving him with no clear sense of direction. He had tried to glean some guidance from his parents, but with only a mild, doubtful form of approval he was reeling like a drunken person, trying to stay upright without equilibrium.
Anna. Joining the church. Self-denial. A car. Crazy fun weekends. The whole world to see. A bank account that could make it all possible.
All of these things arranged and rearranged themselves in his mind until he was so weary he dropped the pitchfork and strode off into the house to shower before falling into bed and letting sleep overtake him.
CHAPTER 7
THE FISHER HOME LOST A SMALL AMOUNT OF THE SERENITY THE FAMILY had always practiced. Elias found himself doing absentminded things that irritated him, which turned into reprimanding Kathryn for small things that normally bothered no one. He watched Anna with narrowed eyes and imagined he saw a hardening of her mouth, a determined set of her jaw.
The long winter evenings of sharing stories, board games, and reading out loud were fractured by Anna’s absence. Ensconced in her room, her legs curled beneath her, covered by a warm quilt, she read her Bible, seeking answers she already knew. Rebellion warred within her conscience.
“Honor thy father and mother.” It was the creed by which they lived. It was not unfair, this sifting of David. They were merely being careful, wanting only what was good for her future, her soul.
Other girls lived and obeyed these exact same requirements. Her mother had taken the time to explain in detail the fundamental beliefs of a solid courtship and marriage. If Dave could not deny himself to live a godly life, then how would he ever understand the first basic step a man must take, which was to leave his parents, cleave to his wife, and give his life for her?
A husband was to love his wife as Christ loved the church.
But he might be able to do that. She would try him.
She would date against her parents’ wishes, and with God’s help, mold Dave into the person her parents wanted him to be. Her heart leaped at the thought of bringing him into her home on a Sunday afternoon—tall, handsome Dave, with his quick, bright smile and magnetic energy.
She felt sure that he would change, given enough love, patience, and time. And if not, well, then she’d know. But she had no doubt that he loved her, and she was confident that the fruits of self-denial and humility would appear given a little time and gentle encouragement.
She said yes.
He washed the dusty carriage that had been stored behind the buggy since his rumschpringa had begun.
He hated the feeling of actually being frightened of his horse. He wasn’t prepared for the fiery spirit, the amount of muscle and power that refused to obey his commands. He had to ask his father to help him get the horse between the shafts, after which the animal reared and balked and backed the carriage into the shed wall.
When Dave became frustrated he started yanking on the bridle, yelling at the excited horse, which only made matters worse, until his father told him to calm down so his horse could do the same.
Stupid horse. Driving a horse and buggy was just dumb. A car went wherever you needed to go, and fast.
He sat in the buggy, holding the reins while the horse stood, flanks quivering, ears swiveling from being pointed forward to laid back, listening for commands. Suddenly the horse jerked forward, but then refused to pull the carriage, hopping from one foot to the other. Dave lost his temper and brought the ends of the reins across the horse’s back, resulting in a high rearing, a twisting and bucking that upended the carriage, brought the front hub of the wheel crashing down on the corner trim of the buggy shed, bending it. His father lost his temper as well.
He yelled at Dave, told him never to whip a horse when he was balking, and didn’t he know any better?
They worked together in silence to untangle the horse, fix the corner trim as best they could, and Dave stalked off into the house and slammed the door behind him.
He walked to Anna’s house on Saturday evening. She met him on the porch, a vision in a sky-blue dress with a smile of welcome, a hand extended in formal greeting.
He took her hand and could not let go.
Here was Anna, the love of his life. Being with her made all his doubts disappear. It left only a clear path that shone its light for him to follow, through the maze of cars and weekends with his buddies, through the possibility of leaving all of it behind and striking out on his own to see the world, through horses and buggies and strict Amish customs and parents who didn’t have any clear answers.
Anna was the fulfillment of all his needs.
“It’s so good to see you,” she breathed, her voice so filled with emotion it was only a husky whisper.
“And you. It’s been a long time.”
“It has. Are you ready to meet my parents?”
His eyes went to the windows.
“I guess.”
She laughed. He had forgotten that sound, the full-throated bell-like sound of pure happiness.
“They won’t bite.”
He thought later that if they had bitten him, it would at least be honest and forthright. He had never seen quite the display of formality without feeling. He was not welcome, plain and simple.
“Good evening!”
A bright-eyed, overly friendly smile from Elias Fisher, a somber tight-lipped hello from his wife, who appeared to have been dragged by her feet to a place of disgrace.
So this is how it’s going to be, Dave thought. I’m an intruder on a calm and peaceful, well-ordered family, snatching their daughter away against their wishes.
As the seconds ticked away, the tension increased, with Dave becoming uncomfortable, then scrambling for an opportunity to get away.
Elias looked at Dave, asked about his work.
“I’m roofing.”
“Hard work. Do you like it?”
“Yeah.”
“You do? I always assumed roofing work to be hard on a back?”
Did every sentence have to be a question?
“I like it. The fast pace suits me just fine.”
“So you’re a worker, huh?”
“I guess so.”
Anna sat with her hands knotted in her lap, her back so straight she seemed to be leaning forward. He looked at her, hoped she’d help him through this, but her eyes were focused on a spot on the floor directly in front of her shoes.
This was not going the way she had hoped.
Dave swallowed. His mouth was dry. He swallowed again, hoping his Adam’s apple didn’t bob up and down for all to see. Anna’s sisters eyed him with open curiosity, their faces so much like hers.
“Well,” Anna said brightly, “I guess we’ll be going.”
“And where would that be?” Elias asked, his smile wide and toothy.
“We’re walking to my friend Susan’s house.”
“Oh?”
“Yes. She’s dating too.”
This was seemingly the signal for the mother to assert her rules.
“Yes. Dating is a good thing. I remember our own time so well, before we were married.”
Dave watched her face, as blank as an unused piece of paper. The only sign of life were her darting blue eyes, which seemed to pin everyone to their chair.
“Um, Dave?”
“Yes?”
“We have parental guidelines in this house, and we hope you will come to respect them. Anna must be home by eleven thirty, and your time alone with her will be over by twelve. The time you spend in the kitchen, of course, will be around the table for a snack, or whatever, after which you will be expected to leave.”
She cleared her throat.
“This, of course, would all be unnecessary if you belonged to the Cardinals, which you don’t. We are hoping you’ll join.”
“So I have this folder containing the rules and ordnung of our group, and we expect you to adhere to them. I included a book on Christian courtship. We require total hands off.”
The ire rose in Dave’s throat. His nostrils dilated, his breath came in quick, hot puffs. He shuffled his feet, glanced at Anna who seemed to have lost all color, her face as white as porcelain.
“I think we’ll go now,” she said quietly.
“All right. We expect you home between eleven and eleven thirty.”
“Yes, Mom. I’ll get my coat.”
Nothing was said until she returned, slipped her arms into the sleeves of her coat, buttoned it, adjusted a long white scarf, pulled on matching gloves, and looked up at him.
“Ready?”
He’d never been more ready, but he only nodded, taking his leave as quickly as possible.
“Whoah,” he said, stepping off the porch.
“What?”
“Those guys mean business.”
“Who? My parents? Please don’t be angry, Dave. You knew they were strict.”
“It’s not just strict. It’s stupid. Does she really think we’re going to listen to that curfew? Whoever heard of such a thing? We come and go as we please at my house. Nobody says anything.”
“Your house is very different than mine.”
“Yeah, evidently. Yet we’re both Amish, go to the same church, went to school together all those years, and here we are.”
The air was biting with a wet, frosty cold. The puffs of air from their mouths evaporated into the night air. The surrounding white fields were flecked with snow-covered houses and barns, the road a black ribbon that wound away into oblivion. Their steps did not match, his long strides crunched to two of hers. He wanted to hold her gloved hand, the way guys did when they liked a girl, but he didn’t. Did gloves take care of the “hands-off” deal?
The evening was spent playing lively board games in the basement of Susan’s home. Her boyfriend, Aaron Jay, was not an acquaintance of Dave’s but proved to be entertaining in a childish way. The way he spoke, his gestures, seemed more like a boy of fourteen than a person, he guessed, older than himself.
Susan shrieked the affected, “Aaron Jay!” at regular intervals, which left him braying like a donkey, all his teeth and gums exposed.
Dave tried hard and realized he needed to lower his high expectations if he wanted to move in Anna’s circle of friends. They were so different from his own group, who were more world wise, more in sync with the times.
Watching Anna, being with her, made it all worthwhile. He could do this for her sake.
She was simply the prettiest, sweetest girl he had ever met. Kind, quiet, but not too quiet, laughing easily, quick to get a joke, she was just perfect in that sky-blue dress that accentuated her eyes, brought out the light in them, and set off her blonde hair.
He was so in love, he couldn’t take his eyes off her. He would go to the ends of the earth for her, lay down his life, whatever that meant.
He took to reading his Bible. He dug it out from beneath his magazines and books, cracked it open, and began to read.
He would learn how to be good, the way Anna was. She never talked in a negative manner about anyone, respected her parents as far as he could tell, helped her mother at home on weekdays, and seemed to be an angel, almost.
He read one of the Old Testament books, Leviticus, and got so bored he flipped to the New Testament, about Jesus’ birth.
He learned all this in school, so it wasn’t exactly new or particularly interesting. But he kept going, just for the sake of reading his Bible, so he would feel good from the inside out.
At work, he was his normal self. Outspoken, opinionated. He got into serious arguments with English coworkers about politics and foreign affairs he knew nothing about, then got ticked off when they made fun of him. He got up on the roof and slapped his nailer down in double quick time, flung the shingles around with jerky movements that belied his inner anger, then wouldn’t speak to anyone the remainder of the day.
His boss shook his head. He’d have a lot to learn, that kid.
His father took notice and talked to his mother in private.
“Eppas lets.”
“Now what?”
His mother looked up from the Keepers of Home magazine, her fleece housecoat gathered around her, a soft throw across her knees. She had looked forward to this all day, and here was Eli bothering her with his concerns.
Reluctantly she closed the magazine, laid it aside, and looked at her husband, who had just come in from checking water pipes in the heifer barn.
“It’s Dave. I’m worried about him.”
“Well, whatever for? He’s dating a nice girl, the one he’s always wanted.”
To her way of thinking, dating and marrying a nice girl was all they needed to keep them in the fold, especially the wild ones. The ones like Dave and his brother Amos, with that quick energy and temper.
“That’s the problem, right there.”
“What are you talking about?”
Eli came up with some weird notions, as far as she was concerned. Now whatever did he mean by that? Sure Elias and Barbie were better than most, but how could that be a problem? She lifted her magazine, kept two fingers inserted to the place where she was reading, and hoped he’d hurry up and say what he had to say, which would likely be something off the wall.
“I’m afraid they’ll try to mold him into something he’s not. Dave won’t bend easily. He’ll break out somewhere else, you mark my words.”
“Well, if he likes her, he’ll change. I don’t see a problem.”
“He’d be better off dating someone from his own group.”
“See, that’s why we have some of these daughters-in-law who have a hard time with submission. They aren’t taught at home. Anna is taught well in all things like that. Those people are Bible readers.”
Eli cast her a sharp glance.
“A bunch of stuff those people read is not what I’d recommend.”
“Like what?”
“Oh, those child-rearing books. I don’t go for that stuff.”
“Well, maybe you should. Look at the way your boys ran around.”
“They are your boys too.”
Rachel lifted her magazine, pursed her lips and glared at her husband. There he went again, always had to have the last word. Her right arm didn’t feel right. She lifted it, flexed her fingers, winced as pain shot through her shoulder. She shouldn’t have moved that dresser upstairs, but around here, if you wanted something done, you had to do it yourself.
Too busy. Eli should let one of the boys take on the farm so they could retire. Of course, she wasn’t ready for a Daudy house, those anna enda stuck to the side of the original farmhouse.
Nine chances out of ten, he’d want Abner to take over the farm, and it was not her choice of daughter-in-law, that one. Thin and pinched, eating gluten-free and swallowing dozens of natural pills she didn’t need and thinking everyone should do the same.
Her daughter-in-law of choice was that sweet girl, Anna. Now there was a winner. Dave was lucky to have her.
He’d go through this roofing spree, then settle down on the farm with a girl like her. Besides, she didn’t care what Eli said; this family could do with a shot of spirituality.
When they were old, Anna would always be willing to help. She would have been raised that way.
She lifted her magazine, saw a recipe for homemade taco pizza and thought how that would be something Dave would like. Although Eli probably wouldn’t eat it. That man ate nothing but meat and potatoes, seven days a week if she let him.
CHAPTER 8
WINTER DRIPPED AND RAN INTO AN EARLY EAGER SPRING WITH LAVENDER and yellow crocuses appearing between mounds of slushy snow like soapsuds. The air had a bite to it, but the sun did its best to remind everyone of the warmth that would soon arrive.
Dave sat in the gray construction truck on his way to work, his cell phone clenched in both hands playing a video game, seeing neither the spring around him, the receding urban buildings, or the wide highway that stretched ahead of him. His coworkers were used to his obsession with games, so they mostly ignored him, knowing that the phone was off limits after they arrived at work.
He was not in a good mood. He felt caged, hampered by the life that had been chosen for him. A settlement of Amish people so thick and heavy he could barely turn his head without running into someone he knew. Rules applied to his life like handcuffs.
This thing of dating the way Anna’s parents wanted was beginning to get him down. There wasn’t one thing normal or natural about sitting in the kitchen, sipping coffee he didn’t want, eating brownies he didn’t like, knowing both parents likely stood at the bedroom door with their ears plastered to the surface, hoping to catch a sentence they didn’t approve of.
He couldn’t stand either of them. The way they spoke, the way they moved in righteous circles, the approach they used to extract bits of information from their willing daughter while he bristled with resentment. He felt it was none of their business what he said or did, where they went or with whom.
