The words spilled out as I described every moment to him. The people, the tree. My responsibility to them and the aching sense of loss I felt. It had all felt so real, and as I told the story, it was like I was back there again. I felt the wind on my face, the dirt beneath my fingernails. It was so real I could cry.

  His face transformed from harsh to skeptical. When I finished, he asked, “And you’re sure you know where this tree is?”

  “I can feel it pulling on me.”

  “Tell me where it is, and I’ll retrieve whatever is buried there.”

  “It has to be me.” I sounded crazed as I said it, and I even felt a bit crazed. Not by the dark moon curse, but by my desire to be the one to find the object beneath the tree. “I don’t know how I know this, but I’m certain it has to be me. I promise I won’t go mad.”

  “You can’t keep that promise.” Pain flashed across his face, and he gripped my arms gently. “You saved us all, Eve. But in doing so, you took the strength of a thousand curses onto yourself.”

  “I know. But I’m fine.” I drew in a shuddery breath. “For now, at least. And the witches will be finished with the lucidity potion soon, won’t they?”

  “They will, but you know it takes time. Especially to brew one as powerful as you need.”

  He was right. That would hold them up. The longer the potion steeped, the more powerful it was. Since I was a damned goddess, we’d agreed it would take at least a few days.

  “Come with me,” I begged. “You’re strong enough to keep me from becoming a danger to others.”

  “Barely.”

  “But you are. And I need this.” I gripped his shirt. “I know it’s going to help.”

  “It won’t take long? You know exactly where you’re going?”

  I nodded. “Yes. Exactly.”

  “I’ll tell your friends, then we’ll go.”

  “No!” They would stop me for my own good. I knew that part of my fear was paranoia driven by the curse, but I couldn’t help it.

  “I’m telling them, Eve. It’s safest.”

  I scowled, shamed that they’d know I’d tried to sneak away. It had to be done, but it didn’t mean I liked it.

  “Fine. We’ll tell them as soon as we arrive. We need to go now—we can’t waste a moment more. With a transport charm, we can be there and back in a flash. Have you got one?”

  He nodded, looking at me like I was a feral animal who might tear his throat out.

  I was.

  “Then let’s go.” I tugged on his arm. “I promise this is the right thing to do. I know it.”

  “Fine. But we do it my way.”

  “No problem.” I dragged him into the sunlight, then turned and held out a hand. “Transport charm. Now.”

  “You’re a real piece of work now, you know that?”

  “You just figuring that out?”

  A small grin tugged at the corner of his mouth, and something fluttered inside me.

  Damn it, no.

  I couldn’t allow myself to be swayed by him. There was a curse hanging over my head, one that had haunted me ever since the seer had told me of my fate years ago. Loving Lachlan would lead to my death. It was separate from the dark moon curse, and I had no idea how to break it. So whatever I was feeling for him, I had to ignore it. I had to ride this denial into the sunset and live happily ever after with it.

  Ha.

  As if.

  “Get the charm.” I poked him in the chest, trying to be annoying so that he wouldn’t like me. If I couldn’t help how I felt about him, then I could drive him away. Totally genius plan. “We need to go to Maeshowe.”

  He nodded and pulled the charm out of his pocket, then reached for my hand. I let his larger hand envelop mine, resisting a sigh of contentment at the feeling.

  “Ready?”

  I nodded, then looked down at Ralph. “Stick with me?”

  I’ll be there.

  Lachlan threw the charm to the ground, then stepped into the cloud of silver dust. I followed, letting the ether suck us in as triumph surged through me. As the ether spun us through space, I prayed that this wasn’t my dark moon curse manipulating me.

  It’s not.

  I could totally handle this. I was in control.

  Maybe.

  Finally, the ether spit us out on Mainland, Orkney. Ralph joined us a moment later. The wind was wilder here, the sea air biting. It whipped past my head, dragging my hair back from my face. I drew in a deep breath, feeling the cold air bring some sense back to my mind.

  Shit.

  I’d just escaped my cell and convinced Lachlan to bring me here.

  It felt dangerous, like the actions of a madwoman.

  But I was a madwoman. And I needed to find that damned tree. The flat planes and gently sloping hills of Mainland surrounded us, dotted here and there by cottages and sheep. There were very few trees on the island, but I could feel the one I sought. It called to me like a siren song, pulling at my soul. I started forward, dropping Lachlan’s hand and running, Ralph at my side. “This way!”

  He followed, but I paid no attention to him as I raced toward the small forest of gnarled trees that cast dark shadows against the ground. Maeshowe would be on the other side of those trees, but I wasn’t going there. No, I needed to find the tree.

  The wind whipped at my hair as I entered the forest, surrounded by the gnarled trunks and branches of the ancient woodland. These oaks had been here over a thousand years, and I could feel them like old friends. I’d once walked among these trees, over a thousand years ago when I’d been a goddess.

  It was still hard to believe it was true.

  I shook the thought away and began to search for the oak from my dream, inspecting each one for that special something that made it familiar.

  Within minutes, I’d located it. The branches reached toward the sky like gnarled fingers, tipped with leaves that glinted dark green. I fell to my knees at the roots and began to dig. Ralph helped.

  But we were too slow. Damn it, I needed a shovel.

  Since I didn’t have one, I tried my magic. If I could throw a lorry with it, surely I could move some dirt…and yet, the operation felt unwieldy. Beyond my capability. Frustration surged through me.

  “What’s wrong?” Lachlan asked.

  “I’m not strong enough.” My goddess magic was useful, but I could feel that it wasn’t what it could be. There was something missing inside me, or something broken.

  You have yet to ascend. Your power is half what it could be, and it will destroy you. The Maker’s words echoed in my ears. He’d said them to me two days ago, maybe three. Through my madness, it was hard to remember exactly how long. But I remembered the words.

  Frustrated, I hurled a handful of dirt aside. “I should be able to move this dirt with my telekinesis, but I can’t.”

  “Let me help.” He began to dig, and I joined him.

  Together, we clawed at the dirt, removing handfuls and flinging them aside. In my hurry to escape, I hadn’t considered digging tools. I hadn’t considered anything but my desperate desire to find whatever was buried here. Even now, it threatened to overtake my mind.

  But I couldn’t stop.

  Finally, I felt it. My fingertips hit a wooden box, and I gasped. Shaking, I pulled it free.

  “I didn’t imagine it.” The box was about the size of a liter of milk, ancient and worn.

  “What’s in it?”

  “I’ve got no idea.”

  “Let’s open it back at the castle, where we have backup.”

  “No, let’s open it here.” I reached for the lid.

  Lachlan gripped my hand, stopping me. “No. We’ll go back. This is dangerous, and you know it.”

  I fought the desire to snap at him. I could feel the madness creeping in at the edges of my mind, always waiting to strike. It was stronger around him and waiting to attack, likely because he made me feel strong emotions. I reached out to touch his arm, and the contact calmed me.

  “Whatever is in this box could incite the dark moon curse even more,” he said. “We should go back, and you can take the lucidity potion. Then we’ll open it.”

  He was right. In the rational corners of my mind, I knew it.

  I drew in a shuddery breath and shoved the box at him. “You hold it, then.”

  He nodded and took it. I stood, shaking slightly. He was right. I didn’t feel like myself. Not even close. I needed that potion before I could look in the box.

  “Let’s go.”

  He nodded and pulled another transport charm from his pocket. Together, we returned to the castle. I strode toward the main doors, desperate to find the lucidity potion that I prayed the witches had delivered.

  My friends were waiting for us in the main hall—although waiting probably wasn’t the right word. It was chaos. Mac and Beatrix were running toward the front door while Carrow was shouting something about finding Ralph.

  “I’m here!” I raised my hands as soon as I stepped inside. “It’s okay.”

  Shocked, they stared at me.

  “How did you get out?” Carrow demanded.

  “I’m clever.”

  She looked down at the raccoon, who had been my constant shadow. “Ralph helped you.”

  “It’s fine. I’ll go back to my cell now. We can talk there.”

  Carrow shook her head. “Maybe you don’t need to. If you have a good reason for escaping. The witches have brought the lucidity potion. I was going down to give it to you when we realized you were gone.”

  “Fantastic.” Relief rushed through me.

  She strode toward me, Mac and Beatrix at her side. Dark shadows hung under her eyes, and her golden hair was messy. Not as bad as Mac’s, though. She was growing out her short hair, and it was at a length she couldn’t pull back. My friends looked like they’d been through the ringer, and I had put them there. Guilt tugged at me.

  “How do you feel?” she asked. “What was this field trip about?”

  I looked back at Lachlan. “Show them.”

  He held the box out so she could see.

  “I had a dream that I needed to find that. Now that I have, we can open it.” I held out my hand. “But Lachlan and I thought I should have the potion first, in case there’s something weird inside there that will make me even crazier.”

  “Fates, I hope not.” She handed me the small vial of lucidity potion. “But you seem pretty good.”

  “Don’t be fooled.” I could feel the curse at the edges of my mind even now. Quickly, I uncorked the vial and swigged it back. I grimaced at the taste, but my mind felt a bit clearer immediately. “That helps.” Still, the darkness lingered in my head. “Kind of.”

  “Kind of?” Carrow asked.

  I frowned. “Yeah. I’m better, but not totally.”

  “You’re too powerful,” Lachlan said. “The potion can work on you, but not entirely.”

  Shit. “Can you guys keep an eye on me?”

  “Of course.” A worried expression crossed Carrow’s face. “But are you sure you should be out and about if you aren’t fully better?”

  “I’m never going to get fully better unless I defeat the Maker.” Even then, I wasn’t sure it would cure me. But I had to take him down. My friends were powerful—extraordinarily so—but only I could defeat him. I felt it deep in my soul. “And there’s something more to it. I keep seeing faces of people that I miss, but I don’t remember them. I think they’re the dire wolves who died out, and I think I can save them. This is about more than just me.”

  “All right,” Carrow said. “We’ll keep an eye on you. But one hint of you going mad, and it’s back in the cell.”

  How the hell was I going to avoid even a hint of losing my mind?

  Ralph. My familiar could help.

  As if he’d heard me think of him, he touched my leg. You rang?

  “Thanks, pal. Just stay with me, okay?”

  He nodded, not even asking about payment. It was as if he knew how desperate I was.

  “I want to figure out what’s in this box.” I looked at Lachlan. “Have you got a quiet room we can use?”

  He nodded, then started through the hall with powerful strides. I followed, my friends at my side. I couldn’t keep my eyes off him as he walked ahead of us. Not just because he was attractive—I was used to that by now—but because I couldn’t turn my mind away from my feelings for him. They were going out of control.

  I drew in a shuddery breath and glanced at Carrow. She squeezed my hand, a sympathetic look on her face. “I can’t read your mind, but I know there’s something tough going on there.”

  “Yeah.” I squeezed her hand in return, grateful for the support.

  Lachlan led us to a sitting room. A large hearth dominated the space, creating a cozy atmosphere when combined with the plush blue rug and squashy leather furniture. A few shelves lined the walls, each packed with books.

  I took a seat on one of the couches, and Lachlan handed me the box. As soon as I touched the wood, a shiver ran through me. It felt familiar—extremely so.

  With a shaking hand, I tried to open the lid. It stuck tight, and I frowned. “There’s no lock, but it won’t budge.”

  “Magic?” Lachlan asked.

  I nodded and focused on it, trying to discern the signature. “I’m not getting anything.”

  “May I?” Carrow held out her hand, and I passed it over and waited.

  It took her only a second. “It feels like your magic, Eve.”

  “Mine?”

  She nodded and passed it back.

  I took it, once again getting that familiar sense. Of course I couldn’t sense my own magic. It was my default, so it didn’t register as different for me. But it did give me an idea. Carefully, I fed my magic into the box, hoping to unlock it. The trick worked, and the box popped open.

  I grinned as I carefully lifted the lid.

  Inside, a sparkling white gem glinted with light. It looked like the moon. I touched it gently, gasping when it sparked with power.

  An image flared to mind, so bright and real that I could have reached out to grab it.

  A crown, elegant but strong. It was missing a gem—this gem—but it was otherwise intact.

  I needed to find it. This crown was my crown, and it would help me fully step into my power. When I put this crown on, I’d become the goddess that I still didn’t feel worthy of being. The Maker had said I needed to ascend, and this was how I would do so. This was how I would become strong enough to save myself and the other dire wolves. They were dead, taken from this earth by tragedy, but they didn’t have to stay that way.

  But how would I find it?

  The question triggered another memory. In my mind’s eye, I could see myself burying this box. I could feel the stress and grief of my previous self.

  I knew I was going to die.

  Something had gone terribly wrong, and I was preparing for a far distant future. For me as I was today.

  I’d buried this box with the intention of finding it in my next life. I’d imbued it with magic to send myself a vision in the future. It would lead me on a path to find the crown. But why hadn’t I just told myself where to go to find it?

  The Maker.

  He was connected to me, so closely that he could also read this vision if he’d found the stone first. I’d been afraid that he would, and if he found my crown before I did, he’d thwart my plans. So I’d left myself a series of clues, and this was the first one.

  My head ached as the knowledge flowed into it, as if my mind were trying to escape my head and merge with my consciousness from the past.

  I knew what I had to do, but where was the next step?

  Inchmurrin.

  The gravestones.

  I had to find the gravestones at Inchmurrin. They would lead me to the next part of my journey. I wished I could remember more of my past, but I was just getting bits and pieces.

  As quickly as the vision had appeared, it was gone. My head stopped hurting and my sight returned to normal, suddenly filled with the faces of my concerned friends.

  “Well?” Mac asked. “You looked like you were having a trip.”

  “A bad one,” Carrow added.

  “Not bad.” I rubbed my head. “But it did give me a headache.”

  Lachlan reached for me, as if to grip my shoulder in comfort. But before making contact, he withdrew his hand and clenched it into a fist. My heart hurt to see it, and I wished he could touch me without worrying.

  “What did you see?” he asked.

  “I need to find my crown.” I explained the vision, finishing with the final clue, “Inchmurrin.”

  “What is Inchmurrin?” Mac asked.

  “I have no idea. A place, I believe.”

  “According to Google, it’s an island in Loch Lomond.” Carrow looked up from her phone. “Biggest freshwater island in Scotland. That’s not saying much, though.”

  “So we go to Inchmurrin,” I said. “There, we’ll find the next clue.”

  3

  Lachlan

  * * *

  We split up to prepare for the journey, agreeing to reconvene in ten minutes. Carrow would be joining us. I was ready to leave, so I stayed by Eve’s side as she collected a jacket from the cell where her friends had set up a wardrobe. She’d stored the gem away in the bag she kept in the ether, though she’d looked at it with the strangest expression.

  No matter how dangerous it was, I couldn’t keep my eyes off her.

  Hell, it was dangerous to take my eyes off her. She was different, that was clear as day. Teetering on the edge of madness, with her eyes flashing black for brief seconds before she dragged herself back from the brink.

  I knew how much strength that took—how difficult it was to walk the line of sanity when everything in your soul pulled you toward the pit.

  She’d cured me of that. Initially, I’d wondered if her sacrifice had saved me, too, since my curse had come on through genetics and not through an act of the Maker.

  She had.

  After the last few days, I knew it without a doubt. The madness was gone.

  Because of her.

  Eve’s sacrifice had given me my life back, but it had torn hers away. The idea made my gut churn. I hated what she now fought, and the idea that I’d played a role in bringing this terrible fate to her.

 

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