Bait, p.28
Bait, page 28
Gabe lifted his head. “Sin is sin. None of us can say something is worse than something else. All of it causes pain to someone. We’ve all done wrong and I can’t withhold forgiveness from you, when I’ve been forgiven so much.”
“You believe?”
Gabe nodded. “A few years back I got to the end of myself. I was chewed up inside and I couldn’t find peace anywhere, least of all within myself. I decided to give the church thing a try and I found peace that didn’t come from me at all.”
“That’s wonderful.”
“It was. I felt free for the first time, like I could face myself in the mirror instead of trying not to think about the kind of person I was. A person who tore apart his family. It might have been right, but it still changed all of us. You were here, Dad. But I was in a prison of my own.”
“I believe it, son. I do. You always tried so hard to do right and speak the truth, but you felt everything so deeply. I knew what it was doing to you, to admit what I’d done and speak up about it. You did the right thing, but it cost you your future.”
The image of Caisey popped into his head and Gabe felt his lips twitch. “I got it back Dad.”
Toben’s eyes flickered. “Your future?”
He nodded. “Her name is Caisey. I saw her a long time ago, just once. This is going to sound crazy, it sounds crazy to me and I lived it. But I knew. I saw her once and I just knew she was it for me. It’s been nearly years, but I found her again. She just walked in one day and all that knowing rushed back. She’s been having a rough time lately, with Arturo, but that’s over now. I’m hoping she feels the same. Praying she’ll want to make a life with me.”
Toben huffed a laugh, his mouth curling up the same way Gabe’s did.
“What?”
Toben shook his head. “It was much the same for me, with your mother. One look and I knew she was the woman I was going to spend the rest of my life with. We got married the next day.”
Gabe wanted to laugh. “You did?”
His dad nodded, smiling.
“How come I’ve never heard this?”
“Sounds crazy, just like you said. And your mom said she didn’t want you jumping into something without thinking it through. Then as you got older, she realized you had way too much sense to do that. When you’d know, you would be sure and she wasn’t going to be able to talk you out of it. You’re as stubborn as your old man and she knew that.”
Gabe chuckled.
“Somehow you wound up with a streak of honor so strong nothing would break it.Whereas I lost my way.”
Gabe studied his dad. They were alike in many ways, they always had been. Which led to butting heads and more shouting than was probably healthy in a father-son relationship. But that was past. The years had taken them on different journeys. Gabe was free to live the rest of his life, with Caisey and the peace he’d found believing in Jesus. His dad had that same faith, but with little time left over.
The guard said, “Five minutes.”
Gabe sucked in a breath and squeezed his dad’s hand lightly. He didn’t feel anything past sympathy for where his dad’s choices had brought him. The hurt was gone. Warmth swept through him, and he recognized that peace that surpasses understanding. “I’d like to see you again, if that’s okay.”
Toben shook his head. “This is it, son. This is goodbye.”
“But I want to speak more with you. We’ve just found each other again.” And that’s what it felt like, though neither had been lost any way but spiritually. “This can’t be it.”
“It is, son.” Toben labored to his feet. “I love you, Gabriel. Live your life, marry your girl and make the family we never had. Be the honorable man you are, always. God will bless you and He’ll keep you and I pray His face will shine on you always.”
He shuffled to the door and looked back. “But don’t come back.”
Gabe stared at the open door.
The chaplain shifted in his chair and Gabe wanted to know what the man thought he was going to achieve by sitting in on this meeting.
“You have to understand—”
Gabe cut him off. “No, I don’t.”
**
Jenna unlocked the front door. Jake brushed past her and raced upstairs. Seconds later she heard his door slam. Nic squeezed her shoulder. “You want me to talk to him?”
She shook her head and set her purse down at the bottom of the stairs. The house was quiet, too quiet. Caisey’s dad was gone and now Grams too. Caisey was off, working or whatever. The place was like a mausoleum—if they could be inhabited by surly teenage boys.
“I’ll talk to him.”
“Okay.” Nic motioned toward the kitchen. “You want anything?”
“Coffee would be great.”
Jenna made her way upstairs. She knew Jake felt bad about what he’d done. She knew he spent his time in jail upset and trying to be brave, faced with something he’d been certain he would never have to do. Forget being scared straight, her son had never dealt well with doing something wrong. It was like his remorse gene was overdeveloped to where you didn’t need to punish him, because he was punishing himself bad enough. Thereafter he would always go overboard to do what was right.
Now she knew Caisey was healing, Jenna settled on being angry at her. She was going to be okay, so Jenna could be mad. Caisey should never have told Jake that protecting your family came above everything, at whatever cost. That line of thinking was what sent a teenage boy, with no experience to fall back on, out in the world to kill a man. Now her son had a juvenile record and was crying in his room.
Jenna stopped outside his door and listened to the coughing sobs. She waited until he had settled and then got a box of tissues from the bathroom. She set them on his bed and sat beside him. He didn’t look up from the pillow.
“Jake, honey.”
“Go away, Mom.”
“I know you feel bad. That’s a good thing. It means you have a heart. But you can’t keep beating yourself up about what you did. You answered for it and now you move on.”
“How can I do that? Natalia is gone and everyone is going to know I tried to murder someone, Mom. My life is over. I can’t go to school. I can’t go anywhere. No one is going to want me now.”
Jenna wanted to smile at the overblown teenage drama, but he wasn’t wrong. Not really. “So we’ll move. Start fresh somewhere else. You. Me.” She hesitated. “Your father.”
Jake turned his head to her. “Dad is coming?”
Jenna shrugged. “We’ll ask him. But think about it. His business was destroyed and I’m going to guess he’ll want to come with us.”
“Really?”
“We’ll figure it out, Jake. Just get some rest and when you’re ready, come downstairs. The three of us will work this out together, okay?”
He sniffed and nodded. “Yeah, Mom.”
Jenna gave his shoulder a squeeze and went downstairs. On the bottom step, her body stilled. Was Nic going to be there when she got to the kitchen? Something dark rushed through her. Maybe he’d decided they were too much to deal with and he’d left.
“You okay?”
Jenna blinked and looked at him. “Uh…”
“You don’t look okay.” He moved closer and took her arm, leading her into the kitchen. “Sit. I’ll pour you a cup. You look like your world is falling apart.”
“Well it isn’t, because it already did.”
“So we put it back together.”
She looked up at him. “We?”
Nic pulled a chair out so they were facing each other, almost touching. He grabbed her hand. “I’m in this. All the way. I’m not leaving again. My dad isn’t an issue anymore. The road ahead is clear and it lies wherever we want it to lead. And I’m here, so you don’t walk this alone. Okay?”
She nodded.
“We do everything together, from now on.”
“But I’m supposed to be strong and independent.”
Nic cracked a smile, the one she’d fallen for all those years ago. The same smile Jake used to wear so often. Tears filled her eyes.
“Hey.” Nic grabbed her hand. “You are strong. It was funny because you don’t realize you’re already everything you need to be.”
“Not for Jake.” She sucked in a breath. “What if I can’t do this? What if I can’t help him get through this?”
“All we can do is give him the tools to move forward. We will get through this and I want to be a part of it.”
Jenna bit her lip.
“I can see those wheels turning.” He smiled again. “And I’ll tell you right now, I intend to marry you.”
“Is that really what you want?”
Nic rolled his eyes.
“Don’t make like I’m all exasperating, Nicholas Arturo.”
He shook his head. “Maybe I’ll take your name. I don’t want my father there with me, every time I use my name.”
Jenna nearly choked on her coffee. “What if I want some time to think about it?”
Nic studied her. “Tell me what you want.”
Jenna didn’t have to think too hard. “A happy family. A peaceful home.”
“That’s it?”
She shrugged. “Jake wants out of Denver. Somewhere no one knows who he is.”
Nic frowned. “What about your spa?”
“I’ve had chain spa’s approach me about a buy-out before, so that’s possible. I could look into that. But if they’re going to take all the heart out of my place I’d rather sell it to my assistant manager for a dollar.” Jenna smiled at his face. “I’ll figure it out, because it’s not more important than Jake. It was fun, but it was just a job.”
“You blow me away, Jenna.” He shook his head, eyes wide. “You’re the strongest person I know. How come you didn’t see that?”
“I don’t feel strong at all.”
“But you are. The hits keep coming and you’re just rolling with it all. Forgiving your dad and then driving straight to pick up Jake. Bringing your son home and working toward the future.” He stood up, pulling her close. “There’s nowhere in the world I’d rather be than right here with you, making our family great.”
“Do you think it will work?”
Nic smiled. “I think we can try.”
“God can work it out.” Jenna said it tentatively, not knowing where he stood.
Nic nodded. “You can help me with that too.”
Chapter 44
CAISEY REACHED THE kitchen and saw Jenna and Nic in passionate lip lock. “Whoa, sorry.”
She pulled up short and Gabe slammed into her back.
“What is it…? Oh.”
She looked back at him. “Guess we know what they’ve been doing.”
Gabe smiled. “Seems like they’ve come to terms with some things.”
Jenna’s face was red. Nic didn’t look sorry at all.
Caisey grinned. “We’ll leave you two to it.”
She strode down the hall and slumped onto Grams’ couch. Gabe sat down beside her, his body angled so he could look at her. She glanced at him. “What?”
“You okay?”
Caisey wanted to roll her eyes. “I am happy for them.” She paused. “What are your plans? Nic and Jenna look like they know what they want. What about you, Gabe?”
She wasn’t sure she even wanted to know. Was she ready to jump into something? It felt natural to be here with him, if she ignored the fact that the walls in here echoed with memories of Grams. Part of her wanted to run outside, just to get away from it. The rest of her wanted to build a life in this room and never leave. Everything was different. How did she go on from here? Back to a job she didn’t particularly enjoy and living in a house that sucked her under every time she walked in the door.
“I should be getting back to Buckshot here pretty soon. I have to open my bookstore or I’ll lose all my business for good. If I haven’t already. I also have a deadline approaching.”
“So you’re going back to your life?” Caisey kept still, not wanting to cry all over him and beg him to stay. Why couldn’t she be one of those women who did that stuff? She might dislike being all weepy and over-emotional, but it had its advantages.
He nodded, studying her. Was he waiting for her to ask where she fit into that? Because that was a good question.
“Case—” he stopped himself and got up. “Never mind. You have your job. And that’s an important thing, being an FBI agent. I should have realized that before. You’re not going to want to leave Denver and I can’t see myself living in the city after years of boondock neighbors who know your name and ask how you are. And wide open vistas.”
He ran his hand through his hair. “I can’t ask you to give everything up when you would be completely miserable in my life. Buckshot probably isn’t the kind of place you want to live. And you’ll be leaving Jenna and Jake…no, I can’t ask that of you.”
Caisey squeezed her eyes shut. Maybe she wanted that more than anything. Change. A fresh start in a new place that she might not have liked in the first place, but it could grow on her. She could see how friendly neighbors and great views would be a nice life. She would need a job that wasn’t pointless or totally boring. That was the one condition. What she spent her days doing was important to her. It had to have value, not like penning her memoirs or something lame like that. Introspection wasn’t her thing. She needed to be active.
Like police work.
So long as a town full of people who’d had one sheriff for a decade would swear in the former-FBI agent who was the one who tried to kill their murdering psycho former-sheriff. It made her head spin just thinking about it. But something about it sat right. In her heart. Could she really do it? Quit the FBI and be a small town sheriff.
Days of paperwork interspersed with dishing out speeding tickets and breaking up domestic disturbances. The symptoms were the same, humans being selfish and not caring enough for the people around them. It wasn’t different from Denver, just a fresh start somewhere the darkness wouldn’t cloud in on her. She would still be able to smell the fresh air.
Where she’d come home to Gabe—if he’d have her.
Build a family of her own.
It was a powerful dream. But one that meant leaving behind everything she had here. Could she do that? Would Jenna and Nic and Jake, especially, be okay with her taking off and having her own life? It wasn’t too unexpected. Okay, maybe it was. But she wasn’t too old she couldn’t make a change. Make life what she wanted it to be.
She could have her dream after all.
Caisey opened her eyes stopped short of speaking to an empty room. Gabe was gone.
She shot up and ran for the front door. She flew outside, leaving the door wide. He was on the street, by his car. His eyes were dark, his shoulders slumped. And Caisey knew then that she would use every bit of what she had inside her so that he never looked that way again. Not if she could help it.
“Gabe!”
His head whipped around. “Case—”
She ran, full speed and saw him brace the last second before she slammed into him. He lifted her and then they were kissing. Caisey wrapped her arms around his neck, her feet off the ground as she was held up by his arms around her waist.
Breathing hard, she pulled back an inch. She wanted to be looking into his eyes when she said this. “I’m coming too.”
“What?”
“Not right away. I have stuff to take care of. But I’ll be there.”
“You can’t give up your life.”
Caisey shook her head. “I’m not giving it up, just changing it. Hopefully for the better. I don’t want to lose this, what we have. What we’ve always had.”
“Neither do I, but—”
“No buts. I’m doing this and you can’t stop me.”
Gabe chuckled and set her on her feet. “I believe you. But this can’t be what you want. What about the FBI, Case?”
“What about it? Liam said it. This job isn’t me. I was trying to prove I was better than my dad by taking care of my family. But I’m not the one who holds that job. I don’t have to stress, I can let God take care of them and then I just do my part instead of killing myself trying to fix everything.”
“That’s good, Case. But—”
“Stop saying ‘but’!” She laughed. “Are you trying to talk me out of coming with you?”
“No, but—” She smacked his shoulder and he laughed too. “I need to know this is what you want.”
“Okay, that’s fair.” She sucked in a breath and blew it out, trying to collect her thoughts when it felt like the whole world was rushing through her brain. “I’m doing this for you. For us. Not just because I want a change or because I want to be the Buckshot sheriff so bad. It’s all of it. I get to have that life and I get to have it with you. And that is what I want. All of it. Not some of what I want. I’m being offered everything I ever dreamed. There’s no way I’m walking away from that.”
“Well…okay.”
Caisey laughed. “That’s it?”
“I guess I’ll see you in Buckshot, then. We can make a plan. How do you feel about tearing down the cabin and building a house?”
“I’d be okay with that.” Caisey smiled wide, thinking that might be a lot of fun. “Is this really happening?”
Gabe smiled. “Seems like it. I’m wondering when I’m going to wake up and find out I’m still living in the cabin and I never ran into you, and this whole thing was a dream.”
“I really hope not.”
“So you’re really coming? Giving up your life for Buckshot?”
“No, for you.”
“For real?”
Caisey sucked in a breath. “There’s a lot to sort out here. That might take a while, making sure Jake is steady and Jenna and Nic will be fine. But as soon as I can I’ll be there.” She grinned. “I kind of can’t wait.”
“Me neither.”
Gabe gathered her up in his arms. His lips touched hers and he said, “See you soon.”
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