Darknadir, p.67
darknadir, page 67
Carefully, Kris let her take Zashou from him.
"No male is worth all this crying, kitling," she said, guiding Zashou's head onto her shoulder. "There'll be others, you wait and see. Ones more appreciative of you."
"I love him! He's my Leska and I'm losing even that now she's carrying his cub."
"She's taking him away from you?"
"No, not like that. It's me. I've pushed him away for so long that he really believes I don't love him."
"Have you ever told him you do?" she asked.
"I couldn't! He's always so capable, so strong, and I'm nothing but scared. He despises me."
"Do you want him? If you do, you have to fight for him."
Zashou lifted her head, pulling back slightly to look at Zhiko. "Fight? I can't fight for him!" she said, wiping the tears away.
"Sure you can. You start by telling him the truth about how you feel. Face up to him like a warrior, then you'll start to earn his respect, and maybe get back his love." Zhiko saw Zashou's face change and knew Kris had returned with Rezac. "Remember, face him like a warrior, not a mewling kit," she said, getting up.
Rezac looked tired as he nodded his thanks to Zhiko and sat down opposite her.
"What's all this about, Zashou? Kris said, you were in a state and needed me."
"I didn't know he'd gone for you," she said, looking down at the table.
"You seem all right to me. You really pick your times, don't you?" he said, beginning to get up again.
"Don't go!" she said, reaching out to stop him. "I need to talk to you. I want to talk."
"What is it? I'm tired, Zashou. I don't have time for your jealous tirades."
This was probably her last chance. She had to tell him now. "Yes, I'm jealous," she said quietly. "When I see you and Jo together, I realize we could have had that if I hadn't been so scared of losing you." She watched the look of incredulity cross his face. "I lied to you," she said in a rush. "I pretended to myself and you that I didn't love you when I did. You were right when you said you felt it on our Link days."
"You were scared of losing me?"
She nodded. "You'd always been a fighter. Up in Ranz, and when the Valtegans came. It's what attracted me to you from the first, until we became Leskas." She looked back at the table, hardly aware she was clenching her claws into her own hands at the effort to tell him this. "I'm not like you, Rezac. I'm too scared of danger, and with our Link, every time you faced it, so did I. I didn't want you to be killed, or me. You don't know what it's like, when you're a coward, to be Linked to someone who looks danger in the eye and isn't afraid."
"You think I'm not afraid?" he asked after a moment's silence. "How wrong you are. I'm terrified, Zashou. I don't want to die either. I'm surprised you never felt my fear."
"Never."
"You must have thought it was your own." He reached across the table for her hands. "You're bleeding," he said, separating them. "You weren't a coward, you know. Like the time you turned on Q'emgo'h."
"That wasn't brave. He was repulsive." She shuddered at the memory. "I was terrified."
"But that's what courage is. Being afraid and still doing it. You could have given in, agreed to pair with him, but you didn't, even though it could have cost you your life."
"That was for myself, though."
"What about all the times you worked on the minds of those Court guards, turning them against each other over several weeks? You were frightened of them realizing what you were doing, I know you were. And when we snuck out to the hatchery to make those eggs and the females sterile? I couldn't have done it alone, you know that."
She looked away again. They'd had to use the extra energy they created when they paired for that, and the memory both embarrassed and worried her.
"Why does it worry you?" he asked.
"Because we don't have Link days anymore, and I want them back, Rezac. I do love you, and I can't face the thought of not being connected to you again," she said, fresh tears springing to her eyes.
"Carrie says our Link days will likely return in a week or two, when Jo's Talent shuts down because of our cub."
She felt her hand lifted, then the touch of his tongue on the cuts she'd managed to give herself. She tightened her hand on his. "Don't leave me, Rezac. I've loved you for so long. I should have told you, I know."
"You've told me now, that's what matters," he said softly. "Come back to bed. With me. Now. Because you choose to."
"Because I love you?"
"Because we love each other."
* * *
Day 43
"Picking up emerging jump signal, Captain Zhaddu. Dead ahead. And incoming message," said the comm operator.
"Sound full alert. Target emergence point on the view screen," ordered Zhaddu, running to his command post. "Looks like they've arrived, Commander."
"Nothing on visual, Captain, but there's something out there," said comms.
"Keep tracking. Where's that signal?" he demanded.
"On audio now."
The speaker came to life. "This is Kz'adul, science ship of His Imperial Majesty the God-King, Emperor Cheu'ko'h. Be advised, our purpose is peaceful. Request instructions." The message began to repeat itself.
"Still nothing on visual," said comms. "But it's out there, by the smaller moon."
"Open a reply channel," said Zhaddu.
"Channel open, Captain."
"Captain Zhaddu of the Allied Worlds here. Your request acknowledged and granted. Place yourselves in close orbit around the planetary body adjacent to your point of exit and remain there."
For several minutes, nothing was visible on the screen.
"Dead ahead," said L'Seuli quietly, as his eye caught a flicker amid the backdrop of stars. It became stronger, wavering slightly, until the diamond-shaped Prime ship Kz'adul was clearly visible.
* * *
In their room, Carrie and Kaid heard the alarm.
"The Kz'adul," said Kaid. "It's arrived."
"I know," said Carrie, moving closer to him.
"We need to get up now."
"It's still our time. We've another few hours, surely."
"We have," he agreed, surprised as she began to slide her legs round his. Realization came to him as he sensed her need to feel herself encircled by his body. "You're afraid," he said softly. "Of what they've done to Kusac."
"I'm afraid for him," she whispered, wrapping her arms around his back as he held her tighter within his. "He's been a telepath since he was a youngling, he knows nothing else. If they've taken that from him, I don't know if he can cope, if he'll want to go on living."
"Whatever they've done, we'll find a way to manage, you know that. You mustn't be afraid, not even for him. He'll know if you are, even if he can't sense you. He'll see it in your eyes, your body." He reached for her chin, tilting it up till he could kiss her.
I'm afraid for him, too, Dzinae. Afraid of why they're controlling him, what they want him to do. Do what I do, lose the fear in your work. We have to be cold and calm if we're to be able to do what's right. Reluctantly, he broke the kiss.
"We'll have several hours before they've negotiated the exchange details. We need to use that time to get the landing bay ready the way I want it, never mind what Lieutenant Dzaou wants. We've got dampers, we can use them until the Primes actually arrive. Then I want you, Rezac, Brynne, and me picking up what color sheets each one of the Primes use."
She grinned at that.
"That's better."
* * *
"Arrange it so there are eight guards and eight negotiators on each side, Commander, plus a medical team, not to exceed a doctor and three medics. A total of twenty people each."
"The breakdown?" asked L'Seuli.
"A senior officer, the negotiator, three advisers, an interpreter, recorder, and in our case, an official telepath."
"Who are you taking?"
"Carrie, Rezac, Brynne, Jurrel, Banner, and T'Chebbi, with Jo, Zashou, and Keeza out of sight but nearby for backup." said Kaid. "Vriuzu with us, and Joisha with the backup."
"My unit's supposed to be providing security for you," said Dzaou. "You've too many vulnerable people there."
"I'm the negotiator, I want my team with me. All visible personnel but Brynne are seasoned fighters."
"Brynne's not in dispute," said Dzaou. "It's the others. For a start, I don't want some overemotional female there."
Kaid looked at him. "Just who do you mean?"
"You know I mean his Leska."
Kaid turned back to L'Seuli. "Then there's no problem. Kusac has no Leska right now, does he, Commander?"
L'Seuli tapped his claws on the table. "He has a point, Dzaou. She isn't technically Kusac's Leska, she's Kaid's right now. Nor have I seen her being overemotional."
Dzaou glared at the back of Kaid's head. "She will be when he's brought out."
"I don't tell you how to run the internal workings of your unit, despite the fact it's only been a few days since you left Winter. Don't try to tell me how to run mine, when I've been working with them for nearly a year." Kaid's voice was very quiet. "I not only work for the good of Shola, but for Vartra, too."
While he spoke, he was watching L'Seuli's face. Only the slightest movement of one ear tip betrayed he'd struck a nerve without saying he had knowledge that was forbidden.
"Kaid uses his own team. You'll back him up," said L'Seuli abruptly. "He has experience of the Primes, and Kusac is his sword-brother. Work with him, Dzaou." As they got up to leave, L'Seuli said one more thing. "Full body armor, Kaid."
She couldn't wear it on Jalna, Commander. They were body searched before they were allowed out of the spaceport, he sent, as he acknowledged the order and left the room. And they didn't have time after they teamed up with Ashay and the shuttle.
L'Seuli began to wonder if Master Rhyaz was trying to teach him something very subtle by giving him this as his first major command.
* * *
A junior Brother came running up to Kaid with a note as he left the commander's office. "From the Physician, Ambassador," he said, thumping his chest in an enthusiastic salute.
Raising an eye ridge, Kaid took it from him. "At ease," he murmured, trying to remember being that young himself. He scanned the report and handed it back to him. "No reply," he said, then turned to Dzaou. "We need our own runner. Can you get us one?"
Dzaou beckoned Ngio over. "Get us allocated a runner from the duty officer," he said. "Meet us..." He looked at Kaid.
"In the landing bay in fifteen minutes."
Ngio nodded and headed off.
"What have we got that the Primes don't have?" Kaid asked Dzaou as they headed back to the dorms. "Telepaths. We have nine on this station of two hundred souls. I'd lay odds the other outposts have one at most. Until now, Stronghold has only had those it's recruited. Telepaths are rare, Leska pairs, let alone Triads, even rarer. Four of mine have experience reading Valtegan minds, Dzaou. Do you know that training to read the minds of other species normally takes years? My telepaths can pick up the Primes' surface thoughts, know if they're planning any subversive action before it actually happens. Think of the advantage that gives us."
"Good point," he admitted grudgingly. "So long as the Primes don't have personal dampers like you."
"Most of them didn't. Think of it as a way of getting extra guards past the Primes," he said as they stopped at the dorm doors. "I'll meet you with your people in the landing bay in fifteen minutes."
* * *
"Captain Tirak and his crew are in the briefing room, Commander," said Lydda, popping her head round his door.
"Coming," said L'Seuli, getting up. "Have you laid on adequate seating for our Cabbaran allies?"
"Yes, sir."
"What did you do?"
"Tables piled with blankets," she said with a grin, as they walked down the corridor. "Annuur claims he's got the best view."
"They're the official ambassadors for their worlds, Lydda. They've a right to see what involves them. Thank the Gods we don't have any more ambassadors!"
"From my experience, these people are easy to handle. Not like the Chemerians."
"No one's like them," said L'Seuli as they went in.
Tirak rose to greet him. "Thank you for this courtesy, Commander. I hope you don't mind, but I took the liberty of inviting Jeran, as well as Kate and Taynar, in to watch. As civilians, they'd be the last to know what was happening to the people they lived with for so many weeks."
L'Seuli frowned, then decided there were far more pressing matters to worry about than three civilians. "In the circumstances, I think we can overlook their presence," he said. "I just came to see you were comfortable. There's a drinks and snacks dispenser over there if you want anything. You may have a long wait, I'm afraid."
"I just wish we could be of help."
"You have been, Captain. Without you, none of our people would have escaped. Did you get your message sent?"
"Yes. The comms officer said it would be relayed to our home world as soon as the carrier left this sector."
L'Seuli nodded. "Good. I'm afraid you'll have to excuse me now, I've got things to attend to."
"Of course, Commander."
* * *
Laughter drew Kaid's glance over to the rear of the hangar, where Carrie and the others were being fitted with armored suits.
The smallest suits are too big for T'Chebbi and me, sent Carrie.
Where are they too big?
Leg length for a start.
What about torso?
You could get two of me in it! T'Chebbi at least has the body for it.
I'm on my way. He handed the list to his runner. "Get those items brought down here immediately," he said. "You know where I want them put, so set them up when they arrive. Conscript anyone you need to help you. The mess is a good place to go for off-duty personnel."
"Yes, sir," said the junior, disappearing at a run.
He headed down to the suiting area. Carrie stood there, swamped by the gray formed body armor. "Cut it down to size," he said, checking his wrist comm. "You've got an hour. She can wear a skin suit underneath to give her vacuum protection," he said to the engineer in charge.
"You're kidding! Sir."
"No, I'm not! Get to it immediately! And get someone else fixing the legs for T'Chebbi at the same time. Have you checked helmets?"
"Helmets fit fine," said Carrie.
T'Chebbi nodded, unconsciously giving her injured arm a rub.
"You up to this, T'Chebbi?" he asked.
"Sure. Just an ache, nothing more. Won't stop me thinking or shooting."
"Everyone else kitted out?" He looked round the others.
"No problems," said Rezac. "Do you want Zashou and Jo suited up, too?"
"No, the command office has air locks and is pressurized in the event of an emergency. The four crew standing by to help won't be suited, but they're near the elevator."
"How long now?" asked Carrie as the engineer helped her out of the suit.
"Three hours," he said. "I'm getting some food and drink sent down for us in an hour and a half. Something light. It'll settle our stomachs."
"I didn't feel this bad before my Challenge," said Carrie.
Zhiko looked at her. "You fought a Challenge?"
"I challenged Kusac's betrothed for the right to marry him," she said.
"I'm impressed."
"What she isn't saying is it ended up a Blood-Rite to the death," said Brynne.
"You fought a Blood-Rite?" asked Dzaou.
Carrie shrugged. "Didn't have an option. She changed the rules in the middle of the fight. There wasn't time to stop it."
"You won," he said.
"Just. I'd rather not talk about it," she said, following the engineer into his workroom.
"Vartra was with her that day," said Kaid quietly. "She nearly died, and she did lose her first cub. Back to work, people," he said more loudly. "If you're finished, go help our junior bring down the tables and chairs, or the medics their equipment."
* * *
Chy'qui was working late in his lab, running through the data he'd acquired from J'koshuk before the TeLaxaudin had had to insert the main implant in him. He was correlating it to the answers J'koshuk had accepted from the Sholan, Kusac. There were certainly areas now where, judging from his previous sessions with the crew of the M'ijikk, he'd accepted answers from Kusac he'd previously have discounted as lies. And the M'ijikk sessions were before his neck implant was fully operational.
