Only a glimpse, p.6
Only a Glimpse, page 6
The meeting was held in our largest conference room which had entrances from our office suite, the president’s office suite, and the main hallway on our floor. These meetings made me nervous. When something went wrong, I got the blame. The room was filled with department managers. I took a seat across from Blake.
Tauni’s boss, Neil, from our Insurance Department made the first comment. “Something’s wrong with these numbers. This can’t be correct.” He checked the formula I used and confirmed.
My stomach churned. Blake stared at me. Where can I hide? I held my breath, bit my lip, and waited for him to raise his voice and humiliate me in front of everyone in the room. Even after our lunch, I knew he wouldn’t hesitate to lash out at me.
His forehead appeared damp, and his lips were a tight thin line. He looked at Neil and back at me. “I must have given Keedryn the wrong information. We’ll fix this and come back with the corrected numbers.”
My legs were shaky when I stood and followed him out to my desk. “I’m sorry,” I whispered.
“Let’s look at the spreadsheet and figure out what happened.” His tone had a hint of frustration but no anger.
I sat and he crouched beside me. His spicy cologne tantalized my nose. Focus, Keedryn. Focus.
He pointed to the monitor. “Looks like you pulled the amounts from the wrong column.”
I stared at the screen and nodded. “I’ll fix it and apologize to everyone for my mistake.”
He shook his head. “May have been mine. Fix it and let us know when you have the corrected sheet ready.” He returned to the conference room.
He didn’t blame me. Thank you, Lord.
After the meeting, Blake met with Chad and wrapped up his priority tasks to prepare to take the following day off. He called me into his office just before 5:00 p.m.
“Let’s sit here at my table. We need to talk.” We sat across from one another.
I was thankful he wanted to sit. My legs were still weak. Maybe he was planning to fire me after all. I’d never been fired before.
Blake placed his palm on the table. He looked at me and sighed. Then he lifted his hand, made a fist, and lightly tapped the table four times before he stood. What was wrong with him? Why was this so difficult? He wandered over to the sunset painting, turned around to face me, and sighed again. He rubbed his hands together.
I couldn’t deal with this. “You are making me more nervous now than when we went to lunch. If you plan to fire me, get it over with.”
“What? Fire you?” He glared at me. “Why would I do that? I want to apologize. I’m having a hard time getting the words out.”
I softened my voice. “Apologize?” I tilted my head to the right. “For what? You sounded a little frustrated with me earlier, but you don’t owe me an apology.”
He sat next to me. “Not just for the spreadsheet fiasco. I’m sorry I cause you anxiety.”
“Anxiety?”
“All over your face. You looked terrified—not only today. I believe you were afraid I’d berate you in front of everyone. Again.” He peered down at the table. “I’ve treated you like Tauni does—mean and harassing. You could have reported me.”
I wanted to reach over and hug him. He’s sorry. That’s Amazing. “I forgive you.”
He stood and started to pace.
What now?
Blake looked at the ceiling and then the floor. He rubbed his chin and stopped pacing, then sat next to me again.
I met his gaze and waited for him to speak.
After a long silence, he said, “I’d like to invite you to join me at my table at Ross’s retirement party Friday evening.”
“Blake.”
“Not a date.”
My chest tightened. I peeked at the painting of cattle grazing in the pasture. I couldn’t respond. Why did he ask me? I clasped my hands together and placed them in my lap. Roses. Lunch. Family pictures. Now this?
I looked down at the table. “Were you unable to get anyone else to go with you, so you decided to ask me?”
“What?”
I glanced at him. “I’m confused. Do you need me to take minutes at Ross’s retirement party?”
“Minutes? No. I thought it would be nice. We could get to know each other better before we make the trip to Albuquerque.”
“But I heard you tell Chad . . .” I bit my lip. “Wouldn’t you rather take Tauni?”
“What’s up with you and Tauni? You’re the one attending the conference with me.”
“You did say you should take her up on her offer.”
“I said, ‘maybe.’ I was joking. The expression on your face when she left my office was priceless.” His tone was softer. He paused a few seconds before continuing. “You started to say you heard me tell Chad something. What did you hear?”
“Part of a conversation.” I picked at my fingernails. “I came out of the file room, and your door was ajar. You were talking about the retirement party.”
He rubbed his hand over his face and groaned. “I said what I did to get Chad off my back.” He cleared his throat. “I didn’t mean any of it. Had I known you were within earshot, I wouldn’t have said it.”
“Blake. It’s after 5:00. I need to go home.”
“Wait. Please. I know this is crazy—a weird idea, but what if we started over? Had a do-over.”
My eyes got huge. I couldn’t open them any wider. “A what?”
“Let’s rewind the clock and go back to when you first started here at BCH. Where were we when we first met?”
I tilted my head and scrunched up my nose.
“The lobby. That’s where we met.” His tone expressed frustration.
I hadn’t forgotten. I just didn’t respond. I should have gotten my purse and jacket and gone home since it was almost 5:30. But he struggled so much with his apology and then again when he invited me to Ross’s party. I didn’t want to be rude. But I didn’t want to complicate my life either. And Blake was my boss. I needed to guard my heart. But maybe somehow this do-over was a part of God’s plan.
I sighed, stood, and followed Blake to the elevator. I had no idea what he was up to, and I was physically and emotionally exhausted.
Inside, he pushed the lobby button. “You’re not a good sport about this.”
“About what?” I chuckled. “I can’t figure out what you’re doing.”
“We’re going to rewind to the first day we saw each other in the lobby to the way I should have greeted you then.”
“Oh. That do-over.”
Chapter 9
T
he elevator doors opened to the lobby. Most employees had left for the day, but a few lingered. A colorful abstract painting hung over the reception desk, and several live plants decorated the sitting area.
Blake stopped a few feet in front of the elevator. “You were here.” He took a couple of steps back. “I was closer to the elevator. Right here. Is that how you remember it?”
He remembers where we stood? “I believe so.”
“What did you say to me?”
He was serious about this. “I smiled and said, ‘Good morning.’”
He lifted his hand with his palm facing me. “No, that’s all wrong.”
“What do you mean? I remember, ‘Good morning.’”
He grinned. “You did say that. However, back then you said it with a spark in your eye. The way you just said it sounded like you couldn’t care less.”
I took a step closer to him and lowered my voice. “What do you mean, a spark?”
“That look you gave me. I’ve never forgotten the spark. Please say it correctly this time.”
I looked at him, frowned, and shook my head. Couldn’t have been an I’d-like-to-get-to-know-you spark because, at that time, Sam had only been gone a year. Must have been a he’s-a-good-looking-guy spark. I did remember thinking that. I slightly raised my eyebrows and smiled. “Good morning.”
“Good morning. You’re our new employee from IT, correct? Keedryn, I believe?”
“You wouldn’t have said my name correctly. You had a difficult time remembering it.”
“Yes, well.” He stuck out his hand to shake mine. “My name is Blake Conner. You may call me Blake.”
“What? You’re telling me that if we were to do this over, I’d be able to call you Blake from the beginning?” I tried to keep my voice low, but this was too much. He had insisted I call him Mr. Conner for the first three months.
A couple of employees eyed us as they hurried past.
“Yes.” Blake pointed to the elevator. “After you.”
Was he for real? I stepped closer to the elevator doors.
Blake pushed the button, motioned for me to enter, and followed me in.
We stopped on the fourth floor, and I stayed in the elevator. “You took me to the wrong floor. IT’s on three.”
He blocked the doors from closing with his arm. “I thought it might be nice for you to see the executive area.” He smiled. “Who knows, you may work here with me someday.”
I stepped off the elevator and followed him back into his office. He pulled out a chair for me at his conference table and sat next to me.
“That’s how I would treat you if you started here today. You know by now I’ve messed up plenty. I plan to show you respect like I should have from the beginning. And if I don’t treat you properly, I want you to report me to Chad.” He shifted in his chair. “Will you please join me at Ross’s party?”
I’d already decided to tell him yes. But I didn’t want to seem eager, so I paused. “I’ll be there to help Beth. I can meet you when my work is done.” I stood. “Have a good evening and enjoy your day off tomorrow.”
“I’ll save you a place at my table.”
On my drive home, I couldn’t get Blake out of my head. He apologized and asked me to sit with him at the party. And I did enjoy the do-over. But I needed to tame the spark. Back then, did he think I was pursuing him? Was the spark the reason he pushed me away?
~
The following morning around 10:00 a.m., I received a call from our receptionist. She said Blake’s daughter wanted to bring something up to leave for him in his office. She asked me to meet Allison at the elevator—our protocol when visitors came to the administrative offices on the fourth floor.
I waited in the hallway outside the elevator.
When the doors slid open, a muffled “Oh” escaped Allison’s lips.
Her picture in Blake’s wallet didn’t come close to her true beauty. Her eyes were a brilliant blue like her dad’s, and she had long, wavy light brown hair. She wore designer jeans with a striped pink and white pullover knit top.
We greeted one another and strolled to my office area. Allison paused inside our suite door and didn’t seem to be in a hurry to leave something for Blake. I offered her the chair across from my desk and moved to the other side to take a seat.
She pointed to my photos and asked about my family. We chatted for a couple of minutes. “I’ve heard admirable comments about you from Dad.”
“You have?”
“He said you’re an exceptional assistant. Even better than Aunt Debra.”
I kept my jaw from dropping open. “I’m flattered.”
“That’s what I wanted to see you about.”
“See me? I don’t understand. I thought you wanted to leave something for your dad.”
“I’ll write him a note to tell him I stopped by. I knew he wouldn’t be here, but I wanted to meet you alone.”
She helped herself to hand lotion on my desk and rubbed her hands together. “You’ve been tremendous for him. He’s changed over the past few months, especially this past week. He’s a different person. I think it’s because of you.”
I wrinkled my brow. “Me? I assure you, Allison. I have no idea why you’d think I’ve had anything to do with this change. I pray for your dad. I’ll give credit to the Lord.”
“So do I.”
“Let’s go sit in your dad’s office, shall we? Much nicer and more private than here at my desk.” We sat next to each other at the small conference table.
Allison glanced around Blake’s office and then at me. “I believe God sent you here. For Dad. I’ve prayed for the Lord to bring a believer into his life. I think the Lord answered my prayers.”
“That’s sweet.” I paused and squinted. “But you don’t know anything about me.”
“I know and trust my Great-Aunt Debra. She said the two of you spoke a few times before she left, and she believed you deeply love the Lord.”
I nodded. “We did talk at times. I didn’t know her well, but I liked her.” I wanted to ask Allison about her beliefs but didn’t want to get too personal.
“My brother, Andy, and I grew up in church. Dad and Mom would never allow us to miss. Dad put God first. He prayed and spent time in God’s Word. He taught Bible studies and Sunday school. When I think of Dad, I think of Joseph in the Bible.”
Thank goodness she didn’t say Joshua. “Joseph? Why Joseph?”
“Did I say, Joseph? I meant Joshua.”
Joshua—a man I would want my husband to model? If I wanted a husband.
Allison continued. “Joshua was a strong leader. He had faith in the Lord.”
I glanced over to the roses painting and pointed toward it. “Would you tell me about that painting. I love the detail.”
“Mom was a gifted artist. Let me show you something.” We stood and walked over to get a better view. “See this spot here? She painted it that way. She’d say this rose represents us. Blemished. But God doesn’t notice. He’ll accept us as we are if we’ll come to Him. He’ll surround us with His beauty, goodness, and love and wash away our blemishes.”
I touched her arm. “Thank you for sharing such a personal story with me.”
“Mom kept a beautiful garden filled with many rose varieties. She studied them and became an expert in their care and meanings. She taught each of us, too, so we’d know the correct rose to share with others. Did you know each color means something special?”
Allison spoke with love and respect for her parents. I’d heard Jenny share those same feelings when she’s spoken of Sam and me.
“My granddaughter recently told me that the different colors have meanings,” I said. “She was so excited when your dad sent me roses for my birthday.”
Allison’s smile faded and her eyes widened. “Dad sent you roses for your birthday?”
“They were from Montel’s, and they were gorgeous.”
“Dad hasn’t had anything to do with roses since Mom died.” Tears formed in her eyes, and her voice became a whisper. “He hired a gardener who cares for them, but Dad no longer goes into the garden.”
I pointed to the table, and we both took a seat. “I don’t understand what you’re trying to say. They weren’t from his garden.”
“Maybe not, but they’re roses. He gave you a part of himself—a part he hasn’t shared with anyone the past five years.” Allison paused and sniffled. “For Dad, roses represent joy, love, caring, giving, kindness, and sharing—so many beautiful attributes.”
I lifted my hand, waved it, and shook my head. “Wait. I’m certain the bouquet didn’t mean anything personal or special. I’ll probably never see another rose from your dad.” I looked at my watch. “I need to get back to work, but I’m happy you stopped by. Maybe we can have lunch together soon. What do you think?”
“I’d love to.” Allison glanced down at the table and back at me. “Would you help me pray for the Lord to heal Dad’s broken heart and for him to begin to enjoy life again?” Allison took a deep breath. “I love him and want to see him happy. I think you may be the key.”
“God is the key. I try to be obedient and do what He asks me to do which already includes praying for your dad.”
“May I ask you a personal question?” She cocked her head.
“I may not answer but go ahead.” I rubbed my hands together in my lap.
“I know you’re widowed. Are you involved with anyone?”
I squirmed. “I’m not interested in pursuing a relationship right now. If I do date, it will be with someone who loves the Lord with all his heart—someone totally sold out to God and His work.”
“I understand. Please keep praying for Dad. I believe he’ll come back to the Lord soon.”
We stood, and Allison hugged me. “What color were the roses he gave you?”
“A beautiful deep pink.”
“Gratitude, admiration, and appreciation.” She smiled. “I think he’ll strike again.”
“Strike again?”
“Yes, you may try to convince yourself this is a one-time gift, but I believe you’ll receive more roses from Dad.”
I took a step back. “Okay?” That will never happen.
Allison scribbled a note to Blake. We exchanged phone numbers and said our goodbyes.
What a sweet girl. She thought Blake was different because of me, and the roses were confirmation. I shook my head. No way.
Thankfully, I didn’t have time to think about it. I updated a database, created new files, and proofed a letter. Then I decided to call Wes to see when he might be available for lunch.
We chatted about his daughter expecting her first baby. This would be his third grandchild. I almost ended the call, but I swallowed and asked the question. “Is your offer still on for the two of us to have lunch together—as friends?”
“I knew you’d come around. Decided to date again? I’m free tomorrow.”
“Wes. Not a date. We’re two friends having lunch together.”
Chapter 10
B
lake arrived Wednesday morning, shortly after I did. He wore a big smile. “Good morning.”
I greeted him. “Is that a new sports jacket?”
“Tim needed a new pair of shoes yesterday. While we were at the mall, he helped me pick out the jacket and a new long-sleeve shirt to go with it.” Blake pulled off the jacket to reveal a striped button-down shirt.
