Ruthless letters, p.5
Ruthless Letters, page 5
She frowns, but doesn’t argue, knowing it won’t get her anywhere. “Elena…”
I wave my free hand, brushing aside her complaint. “Of course I’ve studied. I’m so mentally prepared for this test,” I respond to her previous question, as we leave the crowded lunch line and enter the even rowdier cafeteria.
I keep my eyes pinned on the table Teagan and me usually frequent. It’s in the back, the quietest spot in this place, and the farthest from Ryker and his minions.
I know where he is, of course. Seated at the table in the centre of the room, right by the aisle where he can watch everyone entering and leaving the cafeteria. I duck my head and lead Teagan to the right, through a throng of bodies to avoid the path that’ll pass by him. Teagan follows behind without question, already aware of why I’m doing this.
Usually it works, but this time, a booming and cocky, “Dolly,” cuts through the cacophony of conversations and silences everyone. Because for some reason, everyone in the school, even those in the higher grades, have nothing better to do than watch the drama unfold.
My jaw locks while I push through another wave of frozen bodies. Everyone’s staring, breath bated like I’m a damned celebrity while I continue to ignore the siren call of my bully.
“Dolly, turn around right now and face me.”
A challenge. That’s new. Huh, my initial refusal must be doing a number on his ego. Stupidly, I do stop, turning to face him, prepared to continue my defiance. I’m hungry, and before I complete a trig test, I’m determined to ensure I’m at max mental capacity.
He sits on the bench, one leg thrown on either side. His self-assured smirk is obvious from the short distance. But that’s not the most noticeable thing about him. It’s the girl between his legs that has my stomach curdling with secret desire. I’d love to be her, to be cradled against his chest, rather than being stared at by an entire cafeteria’s worth of students.
“What?” I growl, forcing menacing defiance in my tone.
Menace he merely responds to with an easy grin. “Come here.”
Teagan’s staring at me, slightly shaking her head. I know Ryker though. Cruelty is what makes him tick and the only way for me to finish my lunch in peace is to obey him now. If I turn away, this will only come back on me tenfold worse.
It was a mistake I’ve only made once before.
I lay my pizza down on the nearest table and stalk by everyone, including Teagan, ignoring her soft, “Elena, don’t do it,” until making it to the aisle that splits the room in two.
Forcing self-assuredness over top of my unease, I cross my arms, stopping short of a few feet of him. My eyes flick over the table, spotting a few of the guys Ryker often has lunch with, a few girls as well, who all laugh behind their hands, and of course Tristan Pence, Ryker’s right-hand man, seated across from him. I can’t understand Tristan’s blank expression, leaving me to wonder how much of this is amusing or boring for him.
“I’m hungry,” Ryker says, scanning me up and down. I’m not much to regard, in my jeans and tee, face heating red with embarrassment and anger.
“Good thing it’s lunch time.”
Ryker shakes his head, his smile not lowering a fraction. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a five-dollar bill. “Get me something to eat.”
“Get it yourself.”
His eyes narrow. “My toy’s getting feisty. You think you have a choice in the matter?” Without waiting for me to say more, he flicks the bill at me. It falls, floating in the space between us. Which means, he’ll demand I pick it up too.
I spin on my heel, noticing how everyone’s breaths catch with my defiant action. Again, I’m fucking hungry and waited in that line long enough. I’m eating, and that’s all there is to this.
“Dolly, you walk another fucking step and I’ll have your ass bruised for a week.”
He’s threatening me now? But his words elicit a delicious spark inside me, driving me to face him again. Somehow, Ryker’s words and actions have continually spoken to me on a different level.
The girl between his legs is staring at him now, a pissy expression on her face, but he’s paying her no attention.
Ryker’s eyes track mine to where I’m staring at her, and after a beat, a spark ignites in his gaze. “Jealous?”
“Of?” My nose picks up.
“Is that what’ll sweeten the deal for you? Get me a slice of pizza and you can have her spot here.” The girl in question whips her gaze back and forth. Ryker’s hatred of me is a well-known fact of the entire school, which is why they’re all still watching the show in front of them, so I’m not entirely sure why this girl appears shocked and hurt by this. She’s sitting with Ryker Ames—a heartless asshole—so nothing about him should be surprising.
“No thanks.”
“I think you’re lying to yourself, Dolly. Either way, it doesn’t change the fact you will pick up that money,” he nods to the floor where it’s waiting, “and get me lunch. Now.”
My neck burns red, prickling with the weight of hundreds of gazes watching and waiting to see what I’ll do. Ryker leans back against the table and crosses his arms, a challenge lifting his chin. There is no challenge though because he always wins. If I walk away from him now, he’ll retaliate at some other time.
“Fuck you.” I crouch and swipe the money before stomping off. A room full of eyes track me, including Teagan’s, who’s is also frowning. She’s never understood why I obey him, and makes it known quite often.
The quicker I do this, the sooner he’ll leave me alone. I exit the cafeteria and get back in the line, which is thankfully shorter than earlier, seeing as most people have their lunches already. Still a few people, though, and I bounce on the balls of my feet, anxious to get back to my own food, which is hopefully still waiting where I left it. The scents in here assault my stomach, twisting it in ways that tell me I need to eat soon.
Finally, I have his fucking pizza in hand. I should swap it for my own and keep the hot one; that’ll serve him right, but he’ll notice the change. Instead, I do allow a small piece of defiance, and smile doing it.
I take a bite, revelling in the taste of the hot, melted cheese, before re-entering the cafeteria’s conversational buzz. The moment I do, the room falls silent, and I grit my teeth, hating Ryker more and more for everything he’s brought on me today.
His flirting methods suck and for the millionth time this school year—hell, this week—I question why his commands thrill me the way they do, why I don’t stomp away and deal with whatever stupid consequences he’ll dish out, or even better, seek assistance from Mom or the school administration. The moment I do that, this all ends. I deal with his shit because it’s a game we’re both determined to win and winning will mean I’m on my back beneath him. But it’s more than that, I think. Being a virgin gives me nothing to go on, but something about Ryker makes me want to be submissive to him.
Keeping my eyes pinned on Ryker, I stalk through the cafeteria, noting how the girl is no longer with him. Ryker’s arms are still crossed, and his smirk grows as I approach.
Without care, I toss the pizza onto the table in front of him, revelling in the way it nearly slides from the paper plate. Of course he spots the bite right away and his brows quirk before he shakes his head, sighing, and his arms drop to his side.
“Oh, Dolly, you almost followed my instructions so perfectly. But now…”
“You got your food. Now leave me to mine.” I glance at the giant clock hanging over the entrance, noting there’s only fifteen minutes left of lunch.
He’s quick though, and his arm snaps out, hand wrapping around my wrist and tugging me to his side before I have a chance to react and escape.
“I told you, I’m not sitting with you.”
“You’re right in that.” With a bit of force, he jerks my arm and gestures to the floor. “Kneel.”
Oh, of all the… “Why?”
“You ate my food. That’s not being a good girl at all.”
“You’re keeping me from mine,” I point out, gesturing with my head to where Teagan and my forgotten pizza slice still waits. “Payback.”
His lips purse, amusement curling the edges. “Payback, hm? Answer me this, did you sleep well last night?”
Before responding to his sudden and random inquiry, I study his expression, seeking anything that’ll give away what he’s talking about. “Yes. Why?”
“Because you’ve grown awfully confident.”
“It’s called being hangry.”
He chuckles, and I hate myself for how it eases my muscles by a fraction. “I’m not a fan of this version. This attitude thing… No. But back to my main point. Kneel. Now.”
We end up in a stare down, the entire cafeteria still paying attention. By now, they must realize he’ll win. Hell, I need to realize that soon too, to end this quicker, but sometimes his arrogance pisses me off so much, I feel I can maybe win.
Still, the words don’t stop. “Fuck you.”
“You’d love that. Last chance to obey.”
My eyes narrow, and I’m sure I seem ridiculous in my determination to tell him off, but then my eyes quickly flick to the clock on the wall, noting my time dwindling away.
I lower myself to my knees, shame heating my entire body, especially when Tristan chuckles, and the other guys follow suit. Not Ryker though. He twists, throwing one leg over the bench, so his entire body faces me, before bending over and putting his head close to mine.
I still, the muscles beneath my skin practically twitching with anticipation and lust.
His hand flicks out, and he moves strands of blonde hair away from my eyes as he studies my face, searching for something, but I’m not sure what. His touch makes me want to close my eyes and welcome the feeling of his fingers against my skin, while pretending he’s touching me for all the right reasons. After a long second, he drops his arm back to his side, ending his spell over me.
“Good girl.” His purr shoots lust to my core and my insides clench. “Thank you for lunch. You’re free now.”
Before he second-guesses his kindness, I shoot to my feet and stomp back to where I left Teagan and my now-chilled pizza. People’s eyes track me, and I grumble, waiting for them to all return to their own lives. By the time I’m seated at the table, Teagan lowering herself to the bench across from me with a concerned, pitying air in her eyes, people give up.
“You really need to stop letting him win,” Teagan murmurs.
I shrug because I’ve stated this time and time again. “I know it’s weird, but, like, I enjoy and hate everything he does at the same time. It’s fucked up, I realize, but…”
“You might be waiting forever for him.”
I know. But this time, I don’t say it aloud.
Instead, I power through my slice of pizza in my final few minutes of lunchtime, all while knowing green eyes remain locked on me.
ELENA
* * *
After a shower and a long time of steeling my nerves, I make it to the university’s campus gates with twenty minutes to spare. At the entrance, my phone vibrates.
Natalie: We still on for lunch?
Fuck, I completely forgot about Natalie. She’s the only person, outside Brent and my course mates, I speak to. At no time have I been a person to have a lot of friends—partly because Ryker terrified too many of them and no one wanted to get close to me in fear of what he’d do to them. In high school, it was Teagan and me, but like most “lifelong” high school friendships, ours ended sometime before graduation. She moved away before the end of school, without even a final goodbye.
To this day, the way she left without even a goodbye stings. Like years of friendship meant nothing to her, and whatever she was going through at the time wasn’t my business, even after all the times I helped her.
Natalie and I met by accident in the library one day, and now meet up for lunch each week, and occasionally after school when we both need to meet our social quota. She too isn’t a people-person, which I’m okay with. After Teagan, I’m not entirely sure I ever want a close female friendship again.
Me: Sorry, something came up. Next week?
Natalie: Okay. Hope all is well. Maybe I’ll see you in passing then.
I shoot her back a smiley face and lock the screen.
Natale could provide me the company I need, but I’m also not entirely sure I can manage a civilized conversation. Putting aside the fact I don’t want Ryker to learn about Natalie. She’s too good, too nice to be pulled into my fucked-up life. It’s bad enough he knows about Brent.
Brent…
For a long while, I stood in my shower and prayed to the water gods to transform me into a waterdrop and take me down the drain with the others, because I’m a horrible person who deserves nothing less. I washed myself quickly, refusing to even allow my own touch to linger where Ryker was.
More reason to tell Brent about Ryker now before I fall too deeply into the hole he’s striving to propel me back down.
If only I knew what Ryker wanted—what he’s been cooking up during his years in prison. No doubt he’s had a lot of spare time to plan whatever it is he’ll be sending my way soon.
Whatever it is shouldn’t be my problem, and I need this dealt with straightaway. Breaking into Brent’s house, and now mine, is too far. After classes later today, I’ll march myself straight down to the police station. I’m sure the criminal record following Ryker won’t enjoy the report I’ll file.
For the first time all morning, a smile cracks on my face, as I stride across the grass and toward the main building, where my class is.
“Elena!”
Brent’s cheery voice halts my feet, and I glance around until I pinpoint him coming from the right. He hikes his bag up on his shoulder in time for him to come to a stop in front of me and give me a quick peck. His lips don’t linger, and I don’t return his kiss. Kissing feels like a betrayal to Brent, even if Ryker’s mouth didn’t touch mine.
“Hi.” I force my mouth to stretch in the most realistic smile I can manage right now, yet it doesn’t end up becoming much at all. I swear my guilt is written all over my face.
But he doesn’t notice or care. “Hey. Are you only getting to campus now?” His eyes flick behind me, glancing in the direction I came from.
“Yeah. As I was leaving, I dropped a glass and stayed behind to clean it up,” I lie, forcing my gaze to remain steady and not take a dive to the grass at our feet.
“Okay. Well,” he glances at the time on his phone, “I know you have class in a few, so I won’t keep you. Call you at four?”
“Could you make it a bit later? I have something to do afterwards.”
His head tilts. “What’s that?”
I huff through my nose and weave a lie that’s closest to the truth, despite realizing if I add one more to my pile, guilt will topple me by the end of this conversation. “I’ve been having an issue with a neighbour, so I’m going to run down to the police station and report a complaint.”
He nods his head slowly. “Oh… okay. That’s not good. Did you want me to come with you?”
This time, my smile is much more natural, though it still pinches my cheeks. “It’s fine. Thanks though.”
He nods again. “Okay, let me know how it goes. Hopefully, it’ll be fixed soon.” He leans forward, pressing another quick kiss to my mouth. “I’ll message later. Have a good day.”
He turns away and I continue toward the building my class is held in, noting I now only have a few minutes until the lecture begins. I walk with a renewed energy, smiling at nothing. After class, this will all be dealt with, and Ryker can go back to being my secret high school crush-slash-bully.
My stomach twists at the simple thought. For a long time, all I wanted was to have him back in my life, and now that he’s here, it hasn’t brought me the same joy I dreamed it would.
I enter the double doors to the large lecture hall, scanning the partially filled room. The professor, Dr. Roberts, at the front of the room is setting up, his balding head bent over his laptop. Students scatter around the lecture hall, only filling a small fraction of it.
I walk down the couple of stairs before reaching the aisle I typically occupy. Not too close to the front, but also not too far in the back, providing me with the perfect view of the projection screen and a good distance to hear the professor. I’m so lost in my thoughts, I don’t notice the figure in my usually bare aisle.
Not until the hand clamps my elbow and yanks me to a stop, a few seats away from where I normally sit. A small yelp bursts from my lips; a nearby girl glances over at us passively, before returning to whatever is on her phone.
Ryker’s smug face comes into my vision, stealing away all the air from the room and leaving me gasping for breath. How… how… Even my brain can’t function, staring at the person I was with less than an hour ago.
This morning I was able to see Ryker’s features due to his proximity, but even the shadowy appearance of him doesn’t hold a torch to the real thing. And damn, if my thighs don’t clench as the very sight of him takes my mind to earlier and my heart to high school.
The darkness hid his true size from me, but he’s huge. He consumes the lecture-hall seat, his arms straddling both armrests. Biceps the size of my head; a shoulder’s span stretching past the small chair he’s squished himself in.
His hair, as noticed this morning, is cut close to his head, much shorter than it’d been in high school. While the high school version of him is what continually made an appearance in my head, I can’t deny liking the grown-up version of him.
Beside him, I’m a tiny Barbie. And I’m not even that small; he’s simply that large.
My eyes drop to his hands, folded nicely on his lap, as if he’s enjoying being here—which maybe he is. I can’t understand a psycho’s brain. I note his long fingers, recalling the feel of them inside me only hours ago.
His green orbs follow my line of sight, and he smirks, sending a flush to my cheeks because he knows where I allowed my mind to go.
“Hi, Dolly.”
