The stipulation volume t.., p.5
The Stipulation (Volume Three), page 5
I closed my eyes and readied myself to go to dream land. It was a place I was looking forward to going to, and I was both happy and scared about what I was even going to dream about. Maybe if I thought about puppies and ice cream, I would dream great things and my subconscious would give me a break.
As my mind started to drift, my phone went off, and the strong vibrations resonated against my nightstand as the bright backlight glowed and lit up my entire room.
I almost discounted it and ignored it, but figured it could be someone important, and considering I hadn’t really talked to anyone today, I was happy that someone was thinking of me.
I grabbed the phone and turned it to me as my eyes squinted in the blinding light my phone produced. I clicked to open the message and my eyes opened very wide as I both saw whom it was from and what it said. The text was from Roman, and the message he sent to me was both cryptic and explanatory.
We need to talk.
Excerpt from Volume Four Below!
Chapter One
I never thought my life could change in such a profound and scary way in a virtual instant. My life was good; my life was secure. I had Roman by my side, I didn’t have to slave away at that godforsaken store, and I was actually doing well emotionally and mentally. I had a man, who even though we weren’t official in any sense, cared about me and always went out of his way to show me a good time. From dinners, to spending the night, to Aspen: he did it all.
I awoke the next morning incredibly groggy and defeated. My mind was fuzzy as it tried to gain sense of everything that had happened, and my body felt weak, as it hadn’t gotten the much-needed rest it had practically begged me for. Roman and I, in an act of sheer providence on his part, decided we would meet up later today at some coffee shop near campus. He said he wanted to talk to me, and suggested a public place away from any real sense of privacy. I guess when you were breaking up with someone you required a place where the other person wouldn’t lash out. After all, he knew I wouldn’t make a fool of myself out in public like I would if we were at his house or at my dorm. Well, I still wasn’t positive he was going to break things off with me. I guess I still felt deep down that I had a chance at mending things. I knew I had some serious backtracking, but I could pull it off. Losing him just wasn’t going to be an option.
Being Christmas Eve, I supposed all of my floor mates were now at home or on vacations with their families since I hadn’t heard a trace from anyone at the dorms. It was kind of nice though, considering I was going through such a rough time and staying away from a bunch of people would be my best bet at getting through all of this. The last thing I really needed was Trevor pounding on my door and trying to hang out with me. After all, with nobody else on the floor mixed with my staying here without Roman, I would have very few excuses to give him as to why I couldn’t hang out. I had no homework, no dates, and no family or friends to spend my time with. I was becoming a hermit in every sense of the word, and I planned to remain inside my shell.
I took my time getting ready because there wasn’t any reason to rush—not to mention just the act of lathering my hair was taxing on my already frail-feeling and defeated body. I might as well have been trying to lift a boulder over my head, for my arms almost seemed to struggle under their own weight.
The mirrors in the bathroom, all ten of them, had turned completely foggy from my far too long shower. Since I was never one for incredibly long showers, I guess I had lost track of time, and now I was left to try to wipe away the condensation. Every time I ran my hand across the glass, it would just create more problems, not to mention a shroud of fogginess that seemed too stubborn to leave. I guess I would have to just make do with what I had and I did my makeup in a foggy mirror.
I decided to wear ballet flats, leggings, and a pink-and-white striped shirt I got on sale from some bargain bin in a store Jillian dragged me to. Even though the mirror was still a little foggy and my eyes still weren’t fully opened and alert, I thought I looked pretty cute, and I was hoping this outfit would help. After all, this spandex fully enveloped my butt and no man could resist the sight of that. It’s their kryptonite, and I was going to be sure I gave Roman a dose.
I walked back to my room and checked the clock. I was supposed to meet Roman in fifteen minutes, and with no car and no ride to the coffee shop, I was going to have to drudge through the snow and slush to get there in time. I had to leave now if I even stood a chance to make it on time. I didn’t want to be late and make him think I was standing him up. I grabbed my phone and purse, wrapped my body in my thick winter coat, and headed out the door for my elusive date with Roman.
I walked down the building and saw the receptionist actually there for once. I gave her a small smirk—the kind you gave just to look friendly and not like some cranky witch—and I pushed the glass door and walked past some girl who was coming inside the building. She didn’t look like a student, since she was in a cafeteria outfit and looked around the age of thirty.
My walk to the coffee shop was long and treacherous; with my choice of footwear showing to be a horrible choice, as bits of slush and ice would rub up against my foot and start to freeze it like chicken tenderloin in a deep freezer. Luckily for me, though, the traffic on campus and in town was virtually nonexistent, and I just walked across the streets instead of waiting for the signal to change. That must’ve saved me at least five minutes of travel time, and allowed me to arrive at the coffee shop just on time.
The coffee shop, which was appropriately named The Java Roast, was standing in front of me as I awkwardly approached and walked inside. I looked all over for Roman and saw him sitting quietly in the corner. The shop had an old antique bronze clock hanging on the wall, and I saw I was just on time. I knew not waiting for traffic signs to change would ultimately get me here on time. I wiped my feet on the soggy black doormat before walking over to Roman. Each step I took raised my stress level and butterflies tremendously. It was as if I was meeting him for the first time all over again, and that feeling crippled me.
“Hi,” I said as I took him by surprise.
He glanced up at me, put down his cup of coffee as he stood, and gave me a cold hug, as if he just wanted to show he was still friendly with me. I could already tell things were going badly, and I hadn’t said more than one word.
“Please sit down.” He motioned to the seat across from him.
I sat down at the small table and a barista came over and took my order, which was a Chocolate Frappuccino. I’ve never been one for coffee, but I love chocolate, and this was the only thing other than apple juice and hot chocolate I could order here that I’d actually like.
“So, you wanted to talk to me?” I asked nervously.
“Yeah, thank you for meeting me. I know it was probably a long walk for you, so I’m happy you came.” His gaze shifted slightly before he continued. “I think we both know why we’re here, and why we need to talk about some things.”
“Here is your Frappuccino,” the barista said with a smile as she set the chocolaty goodness in front of me.
“Yeah, I think I know why,” I said almost sarcastically as I took a sip of the drink.
Roman and I sat there in an awkward silence for a few seconds as the sounds of the coffee shop surrounded us. The patrons were mixed between teens and busy executives, who were surprisingly still working on this most cheerful of holidays.
“I guess I just don’t understand why things went so badly. We were having such a great time, and I say one simple little thing, and all of a sudden you freak out and withheld yourself from me,” I said almost passionately.
“Looking back, it was wrong of me to act that way toward you. You are right in that I freaked out, and that you most definitely didn’t deserve that. I’m not sure how you even got through the flight and drive home, and I was totally in the wrong,” Roman said apologetically.
This was great. He was apologizing, and things were going back to normal.
“So things are good then?” I asked with a smile.
“Well, not so fast. I said I feel bad and am sorry for being so cold and reserved. What you said to me, though, made me realize that we truly weren’t on the same page. I care about you, Natalie, I do, but I’m not looking for a relationship with you. I sat down, and the more I thought about it, I realized all I truly ever wanted was a companion, and not a girlfriend. You mistook it all as me wanting to be with you on a romantic level, but I wasn’t looking for that, though, and it appears as though we were grossly on the wrong page.” Roman looked at me directly in the eyes.
“I know you weren’t when we first met, but things have gone great. I guess I just misread all of the signs and thought that things were progressing, even though you weren’t feeling that way. Can’t we just start all over and forget this ever happened? Can’t you just rewind your mind and we can go back to having a good time together?” I asked, as if pleading with him to just forget.
He seemed to struggle, as if he didn’t know what to say, or he knew what he wanted to say but just couldn’t find a way to vocalize those words to me. The silence was scaring me, but I knew I had to be brave and wait for him to speak.
“I just don’t think I can do that, Natalie. The damage has been done, and there isn’t a way I can just forget and go back to normal. I know this isn’t the answer you wanted to hear, and I’m sorry and feel horrible, but it’s the way I feel. I’m still going to take care of your school charges. After all we’ve been through it wouldn’t be right for me to skip out on that, but other than that we’re done,” Roman said before taking his final sip of coffee.
I sat there in shock, as I was unable to even utter a single word as the letters lingered on my tongue. What was I going to do now? I had just lost the man of my dreams, and all of this honestly felt like a horrible nightmare. I looked at Roman as he got up, put on his jacket before leaving a twenty on the table, and placing his hand atop of mine for a couple seconds, as he looked me in the eyes.
“I’m sorry, Natalie,” he said solemnly before putting on his leather gloves and walking out the door.
“Is there anything else I can get you?” the barista asked with a smile; oblivious to what had just happened.
“No, thank you, that’ll be it,” I said as I handed her the twenty. “Keep the change.”
“Thank you so much and we hope to see you again soon!” she said happily, as she had just earned herself a ten-dollar tip.
I watched the lingering wisps of steam come off Roman’s coffee as everybody in the shop went on about their business. Here I sat, completely brokenhearted and defeated, and nobody knew, as I couldn’t get myself to cry: not here. I was never one to cry in public, and there were at least eight people in here, not including the employees.
I got up from my chair, took a sip of the gooey Chocolate Frappuccino, and pushed in my distressed wooden chair as the feet scraped against the polished concrete ground. I put on my jacket and walked to the suddenly opened door as the frigid air beat against my face. I guess it was over.
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M.L. Young, The Stipulation (Volume Three)
