Lights of agramont trilo.., p.68
Lights of Agramont Trilogy, page 68
“What if we can’t be like we were before?” Serilom asks.
“Then I will be crushed. We had an innocence back then that was freeing. We had our problems, but we could love without boundaries. I feel like we are closed in without a key to get out. We both say that we still love each other, but do we really? Can two people who have lost the intimacy they once had still claim to love as they did?”
Serilom leans over Kriv and looks into his eyes. “Have we lost it? Have we let our flame burn out?”
Kriv stares into those emerald eyes. “Face it, Serilom. We haven’t been intimate for months. I sleep next to you and I hold your hand, but we aren’t what we used to be. It’s not that I don’t want to be, I just … can’t. Something is holding me back and I don’t know what that is.”
“Don’t make me cry.”
How can he say this without hurting him more? “I’m not trying to. I’m trying to be honest.”
“You’ve never been one to tell the truth. Why do it now? Why do it when it hurts?” Serilom asks.
“The truth always hurts someone, Serilom. Maybe not right away, but in the end it does.”
Serilom’s pain shows on his face. “Do you not feel anything for me? Have I done something to make you want to leave? I have been asking you that and only now do you admit that we have a problem. Don’t hurt me more by pretending to be happy. If you want to leave, then leave. Please don’t stay here where you’re miserable. I can move on from you if you need me to. I swear that if you leave, I won’t hurt myself. I will stay strong and be content with the memory of what we had.”
It is time that they both examine themselves and their status in this relationship. Kriv knows that neither one of them will give up even if they need to in order to save their lives or whatever remaining scraps of sanity they have left. “Serilom … I don’t know. I honestly don’t know about us.”
“I see.” Serilom stands and takes off walking into the desert.
Kriv watches him and wants to chase after him, take him in his arms and kiss him, but he can’t and he doesn’t. He only watches him walk away. It’s for the best. This will make everything they saw in Agramont hurt less when it comes true. Still … Kriv wants to be with him. He needs Serilom and the longer he lies here, the farther Serilom walks away from him, the more desperate he becomes. He is ultimately too weak and can’t continue to pull against the bonds of love that secure him to Serilom. Kriv stands and calls out to him. “Brother!”
Serilom stops and turns to him. “What is it, Tide-Storm?”
“Don’t go. Don’t leave me.”
He calls back to Kriv. “Then it’s your turn to make your way to me. I’ve been the one trying to preserve this. Even through your actions with Argrin, I offered you one more chance to make this work. This is your one chance. If you want to still be with me, then you need to make the effort. I’m waiting. It takes two people to have a relationship.”
“Will you let me get close to you again?” Kriv asks.
“Will you let yourself get close to me?” Serilom asks.
Kriv stares out past the heat waves on the sand, the soft blue sky, and the blowing sand between them. That is what this has all been about, isn’t it? How close is Kriv willing to let himself be to Serilom? Will he bare his soul and everything to Serilom or will he hide away and keep himself hidden? He doesn’t want to hurt him, but being apart is only killing them both. It’s slow and painful and not the way he wants to die. Kriv feels the warmth of his tears stinging his eyes. He walks to Serilom and throws his arms around him. “I don’t care what happens in our future. For now, I want to be with you. I want to try to have what we had before. I want to reignite our flame and let it burn until it can’t burn anymore.”
Serilom smiles and pulls Kriv’s face to his. “That’s all I wanted to hear. Would you like to try to be as we used to be? I know it has been a while, but we can learn over again, if you are willing.”
“I’m always willing.” He kisses Serilom’s lips and unties his tunic.
Serilom pushes him down into the sand and pulls off his shirt. “Are you sure? Out here?”
“No one comes out into the desert in the middle of the day except crazy people.” Kriv says as he unbuckles Serilom’s belt.
“Well, we’re crazy so I guess this is best.” Serilom kisses Kriv’s smooth chest and moves his hands up the bard’s legs.
“Crazy is the best way to be. Then only other crazy people can understand you. That’s why I have you.” Kriv breathes in Serilom’s scent and a long-lost passion sweeps over him. He wants him and needs him.
Serilom puts his legs around Kriv’s hips. “You made me this way.”
“I know. I set you free.”
*
Serilom and Kriv stay in each other’s arms as the sun rises high in the sky. Kriv touches his face and groans. “Serilom?”
“What is it?”
“I’m hurting.” Kriv says.
Serilom squeezes Kriv’s hand. “Did I hurt you?”
“No. The sun did. Look at me. Is my face sunburned?”
Serilom laughs. “Yes. It’s bad.”
“This is why I wasn’t one of Ravier’s mages, I guess.” He turns over.
“Oh, Kriv … your back is the worst. Put a shirt on.” Serilom says.
“Good idea. I blame you for that one.”
“Why me?” Serilom asks.
Kriv slips on his tunic. “Holding me down in the sand for so long. I swear, you enjoy yourself too much sometimes.”
“You liked it and don’t pretend you didn’t.”
“Well, I don’t like sunburns.” Kriv says.
“You know, for a race of people who live in the middle of a giant desert, I would have thought that you would be darker. Instead, Agarethans are the palest people on the planet.”
“I know. It’s funny, isn’t it? Don’t ask me. I don’t know what to tell you. Maybe my ancestors really liked sunburns.” Kriv’s stomach makes a noise. “Are you hungry? Want to get something to eat?”
“You just ate three biscuits.”
“So, are you hungry?” Kriv grins.
“You are asking the wrong person.”
“I’ll take that as a no. Wait, I don’t need you to eat with me. I’m the Divine Commander. I will eat when I feel like eating. Come on. I’m going to go find a caramel cake.”
“I swear, your blood has to be made of caramel.” Serilom says.
“Mmm, maybe I’ll taste it. Want some?”
“Kriv! Gross.” Serilom sighs and stands. “Let’s go find your cake. How many of those do you think you’ve eaten over the course of your life?”
Kriv quickly calculates it in his head. “I’d say … about two thousand.”
“Two thousand? Two thousand entire cakes?” Serilom asks, stunned.
“Yah. That’s only an average of seventy-four cakes a year.”
“Only. Only seventy-four cakes a year. You are insane.”
“When is that fact going to sink in for you?” Kriv asks.
“I just don’t believe you. Two thousand. Unbelievable.”
“I happen to like cake and caramel and when they’re put together, it’s the most perfect marriage.” Kriv says. “We need to have a party.”
Serilom tilts his head. “A party? Why?”
“To celebrate that we are all still alive.”
“I guess that is a feat, isn’t it? Okay. Let’s do it. Let’s have a party.”
Kriv stands and kisses Serilom. “There has to be dancing.”
“Dancing? I don’t dance. There has to be alcohol.”
“Agreed. Dancing and alcohol. What can go wrong?” Kriv laughs as he takes Serilom’s hand and they head back into town.
32
Kriv smiles as he watches the flames from the fire against the dark desert night sky. The music is playing and he sits next to the love of his life who is only concerned about his whiskey. “Are you going to drink all of that?”
Serilom holds it up and looks at it. “Yes. Then I’ll get another bottle.”
“How are you able to drink so much?” Kriv asks.
“I think my blood might be made of whiskey.”
“That explains a lot. Do you think mine is made of rum?”
“We already discussed this. Yours is made of caramel.” Serilom grins and takes another drink.
“Oh yah. Hey, thanks for talking with me earlier.”
“Thanks for everything else you did for me earlier.” Serilom says as he gives Kriv a sultry look.
Kriv pushes him away. “You’re terrible. There are other people who can hear us.”
“Let them hear. I don’t care.”
Kriv shakes his head and watches the others dancing around the fire. When the song stops, Zixis and Lens Aren run to him and grab his hands. They pull him to his feet.
He blushes when they push him to the middle of the circle. “You don’t really want me to dance, do you?”
“Yes!”
Kriv takes off his hat and tosses to Serilom. “Well, I can’t disappoint my audience. Lens, play something lively.” He grabs Niv’s hand and pulls her into the circle. She giggles as Kriv twirls her and they dance around the fire. It’s obvious that Niv has danced this before. Of course she has. Kriv and Raesa danced it so many years ago on the beach not too far from here. They had danced under the same night sky until it was light grey with the dawn. She is the only one who will be able to keep up the footwork for an intricate dance like this and Kriv loves it. Even in the sand, they are light on their feet and she follows his lead perfectly.
Kriv holds out his hand to Serilom. Serilom shakes his head. Kriv frowns and glares at him. “I will see you dance, Orrentius.” He takes Nivalaya in his arms again and they continue. They spin and twirl until the music ends and Kriv stops to catch his breath. They cheer for him and he wipes the sweat from his forehead. He’s smiling, but he knows he isn’t done yet.
Admiral Faren claps his hands. “Impressive. I never knew you could dance, Tide-Storm.”
“I’m a bard. I can do a lot of things you don’t think I can. Besides, what kind of bard can’t dance?”
Lens Aren calls out. “One with no legs?”
Kriv doubles over laughing.
“Wow, no more rum for Kriv.” Commander Cailen says.
“No, I need it. Rum is what fuels my dancing and you don’t want that to stop, do you? Lens, you have to help me accomplish my one goal.”
“What’s your one goal, Kriv?”
“Play me a waltz and be prepared to watch an Honored One dance.” Kriv holds out his hand and bows to Serilom. “May I have this dance?”
Serilom crosses his arms and turns away. “No.”
“Please?” Kriv pouts.
“I don’t dance.”
Everyone begins chanting. “Dance, dance, dance.”
Serilom sighs and holds out his hand. “I swear I’m going to kill you, bard.”
Kriv takes his hand and leads him into the circle. “As long as you dance with me first, I don’t care if you cover me in caramel and feed me to cannibals.”
Everyone laughs. Serilom shakes his head. “What? You’re insane. Someone really needs to hide the alcohol from you. What do I do?”
“It’s a waltz. Don’t tell me you’ve never danced a waltz before.” Kriv pulls him close and places his arm around his waist as the music begins.
Serilom takes Kriv’s hand and tries to follow his lead. “I’ve never danced anything before. I’m from Vernition. We don’t dance in Vernition. I don’t even know what a waltz is.”
“Just follow my steps and look into my eyes. Relax.” Kriv holds Serilom close to him and stares into his eyes as they move together in perfect unity, even if Serilom’s footwork leaves much to be desired. He’s trying, at least. Still, it is nice to be like this with him. Serilom smiles. Wait, Serilom smiled? Kriv smiles back and twirls him. “Did you just smile?”
“Maybe. Are waltzes too serious to smile while dancing?”
“Not at all.” He holds onto Serilom’s waist and continues to dance in circles around the fire. Kriv pulls him close and leans him backwards, dipping him then kissing him.
Everyone is silent and watches them. Serilom blushes as Kriv pulls him back up.
Niv hits Ravier in the arm. “Why don’t you dance with me like that? It’s so romantic.”
Ravier takes Niv’s hand. “That wasn’t romantic. I will show everyone what romance truly is.” He pulls Niv into the circle and bows to her. “Milady Valexin, my bright evening star, may I have this dance and show those two pansy men how a real man dances?”
Nivalaya laughs and puts her hand on his shoulder. “Of course. But they set the bar pretty high.”
“No they didn’t. One of them has never danced before and the other is so conceited that he would marry himself if he could. Now look into my eyes, my love.” Ravier puts his hand on her back and they dance together as if they have been dance partners for all of their lives.
It’s a simple dance, but Kriv can see the connection they have. Their bodies move together without any hesitation and they know each other’s movements. It’s beautifully simple and powerful. They don’t need anything flashy or complicated. The emotion they exude is captivating. Ravier lifts her in the air and kisses her. Everyone cheers. He sets her back down. “See, Tide-Storm? That’s how it’s done.”
“Oh really? I didn’t know making love to each other counted as dancing. If the contest is making love, then let me show you how it’s done.” Kriv takes Nivalaya’s hands and whispers into her ear. “Do you remember that one naughty dance? The one that we saw the two people dance on that boat that one night?”
She blushes and hits his arm. “Kriv! No. Not that one. Ravier will kill me.”
“Yes, that one. Do you remember how it went?”
“Unfortunately. But I’m wearing too much clothes.”
He winks at her. “You can take them off.”
Niv can’t help but smile as she removes her coat and Kriv unlaces her corset.
Ravier glares at him. “Tide-Storm, what are you doing?”
“We are about to teach you a lesson in romance, sir. Don’t worry. She won’t be completely naked … until the end.” Kriv grins as he tosses her corset to the ground.
Niv lets down her hair and tears the bottom of her skirt until it is above her knees. “You ready, Kriv?”
“I was born ready, pretty face. Lens, you know the song.”
“Are you sure you want to do this?” Lens Aren asks. “Ravier will kill you.”
“Yes. Now play it.”
As the music starts, Kriv pulls Niv up against him and holds her extremely close. He looks into her eyes. Their bodies move in perfect rhythm with each other and the sensual attraction is electric between them. Kriv holds onto her waist as she sways in his arms. He runs his hands over her hips and slides her between his legs then pulls her back up. She rips his shirt open and throws it to the ground. Kriv tears the top of her dress open and feels her warmth against him. He bends her backwards and kisses her breasts as she digs her fingers into his legs. Kriv holds her close and his hand goes higher and higher up her legs as they dance. He grabs her backside and pulls her to him. He twirls her around then holds her from behind and feels her move against him. It’s sensual, arousing, and intoxicating. He twirls her around. Niv kisses his chest and moves lower and lower until she stops at his belt and works her way back up, her eyes never leaving his the entire time. Kriv pulls her skirt up higher and higher as they dance in sweeping circles and he tears it up the front. He spins and picks her up. Niv wraps her legs around his waist and he tangles his fingers in her hair. Kriv drops to one knee and holds Niv in his arms as he passionately kisses her and the music fades.
Kriv stands, takes Niv’s hand, and they bow together. He turns to Ravier. “That is how you make love to a woman.”
Everyone cheers and claps except for Ravier who looks more pissed off than anything.
“Wow, that was amazing.” Captain Myar says.
Lens Aren smiles. “Okay, I think Kriv wins this. Which is just … really sad. Ravier, come on, man. He practically made love to your woman and he can’t even actually make love to her.”
“And you all wonder why I hate bards.” Ravier says.
Kriv picks up his cloak from the ground and wraps Niv in it. He kisses her. “Thank you. You are still good at that.”
“You too, Tide-Storm. But you’re not the one who has to sleep in the same bed as Ravier. I hope he doesn’t set the room on fire.”
Kriv laughs. “Well, Serilom might flood the place. And yes, we have decided that even mages who control water can drown.” He joins Serilom’s side and wraps his arms around him.
“So … that was … intense. I thought you said I was the only person you’ve had sex with.” Serilom says.
“You are.”
“Then how do you know how to please a woman?”
“I please you, don’t I?” Kriv giggles.
Serilom glares at him.
“I’m joking. No, I read a lot. You’d be surprised what you can learn from literature and plays. Come with me. We’ll let them have their fun and you and I will go have our fun where they can’t hear us because of the crashing of the waves on the shore.”
33
When Kriv opens his eyes, he is no longer in his room with Serilom at his side. Instead, he is somewhere completely foreign and unknown to him. Normally, he would feel scared or anxious being here suddenly in the middle of the night, but there is nothing threatening here.
“Kriv Tide-Storm.”
Kriv’s heart races in his chest as he looks around the empty dark room. Only a single glowing orb fills the middle of the room with a pale hazy light. Where is he? The room is strangely warm and he almost feels comforted here.
