Accidental honeymoon, p.22

Accidental Honeymoon, page 22

 

Accidental Honeymoon
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reemerged in time to catch the tail end of the conversation.

  “Would you like a tour of the grounds?”

  “Definitely,” Monica’s mom assured her, “but tomorrow

  when my legs are fresher. Right now, I can’t wait to hear all

  about the wedding. Have you set a date?”

  No, they had not, and Monica could see Ray becoming

  agitated as she tried to answer. “November sixteenth.”

  She’d plucked the date from her memory, having made

  note of it as being the absolute latest they could tie the knot

  before their license expired. Monica watched as her mom

  pulled out her phone, her brow creasing.

  “That’s a Monday. Who gets married on a Monday?”

  “Weekends are the busiest time for tourists,” Ray

  explained smoothly as she opened the door to the kitchen.

  “Would you like to see what we’ve done with the old

  farmhouse?”

  I sure would, Monica thought. She braced for whatever she

  might find, reminding herself that anything would be good

  enough for now.

  “Oh, yes.” Her mom placed a hand on Monica’s shoulder.

  “Did you work on it together?”

  “I let Ray handle it,” Monica replied hastily. Not that she

  wanted to totally throw her fiancée under the bus, but if it

  looked terrible inside, she didn’t want her mom to become

  suspicious or anything. Better to make it clear the house was

  all Ray’s doing.

  “Well,” her mom said in a confidential tone, low enough

  that only Monica could hear “I hope this place suits you

  more than your last one did. The only room that had even a

  spark of personality to it was the bedroom.”

  As her mom slipped into the house, Monica’s eyes grew

  huge.

  The bedroom?

  F uck.

  She and Ray could keep up the charade that they were a

  loving couple while they were outside, but her mother wasn’t

  dumb. As soon as she saw their separate bedrooms, she’d

  figure out in a heartbeat that something was up.

  “The bedroom,” Monica hissed the moment she caught

  Ray’s attention. “She wants to see our bedroom.”

  “We need to distract her.” Ray disappeared into the

  kitchen. A second later, she reemerged with a huge ball of

  white fur in her arms. She opened her arms, and Mr. Flu es

  dropped to the ground and made a dash for the bushes.

  Monica’s mouth fell open. Had Ray sacrificed her cat as a

  distraction?

  “Oh no! The cat’s gotten out.” Ray called out in an

  exaggerated tone.

  “Mom, help!” Monica summoned the same level of fake

  drama as a vaudeville damsel being tied to the railroad

  tracks.

  “Mr. Flu es?” Monica’s mom reappeared in the

  doorway. “Oh dear. I think I see him under the bushes along

  the fence.”

  Yeah, no shit he was under the bushes. As her mother

  scurried out to look for the cat, Monica was about to give

  that infuriating fiancée of hers a piece of her mind when Ray

  whispered, “Stall her. Five minutes and I’ll have the

  bedroom fixed.” Then she marched o without giving any

  indication of what her plan involved. Time travel? Magic?

  It took fifteen minutes to round up the unruly feline, who

  showed zero interest in giving up his new life in the great

  outdoors. When he’d finally been cornered, Monica grasped

  the squirming, cobweb-covered beast tightly to her chest

  and followed her mom inside. When she had a chance to get

  Ray alone, she was going to throttle the woman.

  About five steps into the kitchen, all thoughts of killing

  Ray had vanished. Monica looked around in awe, barely

  recognizing it.

  Her mom gave an approving nod as she scanned the

  freshly whitewashed cabinets and the newly sanded and

  oiled butcher block countertop with a silver vase of fresh-cut

  flowers resting on top. “This fiancée of yours has amazing

  taste.”

  Yes, she does.

  It wasn’t only the kitchen that had been transformed

  during the seventy-two hours Monica had been away. There

  was a charming maple hutch in the dining room with a

  matching table surrounded by six ladder-back chairs. In the

  living room, the single old couch had been replaced with an

  overstu ed sofa and loveseat that looked softer than clouds.

  An antique tea cart served as one of the end tables, and a

  plump ottoman took the place of a co ee table, which

  Monica had no doubt would double as a cat bed of epic

  proportions for spoiled Mr. Flu es. In fact, the way a

  blanket had been folded and left on top of it led Monica to

  suspect Ray had set it up that way precisely for that reason.

  Maybe she wasn’t such a cat hater after all.

  By now, Monica was dying to see upstairs, but

  remembering her mission to buy Ray time, she o ered,

  “How about a nice cup of tea?”

  “That sounds perfect.” Returning to the kitchen, her

  mom groaned as she took a seat at the sturdy island that had

  taken the place of the old Formica-topped table. “Oh, these

  old bones.”

  An electric kettle was plugged in beside the refrigerator.

  Monica stared at the cabinets, wishing she had X-ray vision

  so she wouldn’t have to guess where Ray had stored the

  mugs. And the tea. After a quick eeny, meeny, miny, moe,

  Monica selected the cupboard where she would’ve put the

  mugs, the one in between the kettle and the sink, and was

  surprised to find when she opened it that Ray had been

  similarly inclined.

  “So,” her mom said as Monica carried the mug over,

  “how many people are you inviting to the wedding?”

  Monica had to clutch the mug with both hands to keep

  from dropping it. “We hadn’t really thought that far ahead.

  Small, though.”

  It was at this point that Ray reentered the kitchen, giving

  Monica two thumbs up. Whatever she’d been doing upstairs,

  the space was now prepped for Monica’s mom to see.

  “What’s small?”

  “The wedding guest list,” Monica answered.

  Monica’s mom crossed her arms. “Define small.”

  “Ten?” Ray responded.

  At the exact same moment, Monica said, “Fifty, tops.”

  “Fifty?” Ray looked like she might pass out.

  “Fifty!” Her mother’s shrill voice was eardrum-busting

  level. “There’s no way we can cull that many family

  members from the guest list. You’ll start a feud worse than

  the Hatfields and McCoys.”

  “Now, Mom. We want to keep this cozy.” Like, no guests at

  all, Monica added silently.

  Her mom swiveled in her seat in search of an ally. “What

  do you think, Ray?”

  Though she tried to hide her face behind the mug of tea

  she’d poured for herself, Ray couldn’t disguise her “deer in

  headlights” expression. “I don’t have much experience with

  family.”

  “Well, let me tell you,” her mom said, “family and cozy

  go hand in hand. The more the merrier when it comes to

  Greeks. We’re such a peaceful people.”

  Yes, because no one had ever heard of Helen and the

  Trojan War.

  Her mother continued tutting. “There’s no way we can

  have less than three-hundred and fifty.”

  Poor Ray. Not only was her chin dimple glowing, but her

  neck was getting little red blotches all over, and Monica was

  pretty sure if her eyes kept boggling like that, they were

  going to pop out of her head completely.

  “Stop, Mom,” Monica urged. “I think we’ve discussed the

  guest list enough for one day.”

  “You’re right,” her mom agreed, though something about

  her tone made Monica not trust her. “We have more

  important things to consider. Like bridesmaids. I can’t see a

  way for you to have less than a dozen.”

  “A dozen?” It was Monica’s turn to have her eyes nearly

  pop out of her skull. “But, Ray doesn’t have any family, so I

  think we should skip bridesmaids.”

  Ray hopped up, moving in the direction of the kettle. She

  either planned to make more tea, or perhaps she intended to

  slip out the back door, never to return. Monica wouldn’t

  blame her in the least.

  “What about groomsmen?” Her mom demanded. “I know

  Ray’s female, but if she doesn’t have her own bridesmaids

  picked out, there’s always groomsmen.”

  “A dozen of them? I mean, I’m not a recluse, but I don’t

  think I could come up with that many people, men and

  women combined, that I’d want to ask to be in my wedding.”

  Ray o ered an apologetic shrug. “Sorry.”

  Her mom tapped her fingers on the kitchen table. “I know

  what we can do. We’ll reach out to the Chicago

  Panagiotopoulos’s. They have a ton of boys in that family.

  You two wouldn’t be opposed to them, right? It’ll only add

  another hundred to the guest list.” Not waiting for input, she

  barreled on. “This family hasn’t had a proper reunion in over

  a decade. No time like the present, and isn’t that what

  weddings are for? The joining of family to celebrate your

  love?”

  Ray had her back to them, but Monica could see the

  tensing of her shoulders. Much to Ray’s credit, she was able

  to hold it together enough to finish making her tea and

  retake her seat. It looked like plain black tea in her mug, but

  Monica wouldn’t have judged her in the least if she’d put a

  shot of something stronger in it.

  It was clear Monica’s mom had her head in the clouds as

  she reveled in planning the family event of the century. “For

  the junior bridesmaids—”

  “Are those understudies in case one falls ill?” Ray asked

  in all seriousness, leading Monica to wonder how many big

  weddings Ray had attended, if any at all.

  “You act like you’ve never been to a wedding before,”

  Monica chastised.

  “Not royal weddings, I haven’t. I’ve only been to normal

  people weddings, like at city hall or on a beach.”

  Her mom hooted. “I like you, Ray. This is going to be so

  much fun. For the ceremony, I’m picturing—”

  “We already have a location, Mom,” Monica interrupted.

  “That’s right,” Ray added, looking relieved finally to have

  something to contribute to the conversation. “The kit just

  arrived, so I’ll be putting up the gazebo next week.”

  “Oh, a gazebo.” Monica’s mom clapped her hands

  together. “I can picture it now, overlooking a pond, with a

  pair of swans.”

  “We don’t have a pond,” Monica said.

  “Or swans,” Ray added.

  “That’s easily solved, though, right?” Her mom directed

  the statement to Ray. “You’re so handy. Look how much

  you’ve accomplished with the grapes.”

  “Uh…” Ray answered, which under the circumstances was

  not a terrible response.

  By this point, her mom wasn’t really looking for

  responses so much as a sounding board for what she clearly

  considered brilliant ideas. “Do you know who we can hire for

  hayrides?”

  Monica shook her head, but Ray, perhaps hoping to score

  a point or two for the pond disappointment, o ered, “I could

  ask Sally.”

  Monica’s mom’s face lit up much brighter than a possible

  hayride seemed to merit. “I have the perfect idea. We should

  set up Slip N Slides for the kids so the adults don’t have to

  watch over them.”

  Monica stared, aghast. “This is a wedding, not a

  carnival.”

  “The wedding’s in November,” Ray said gently. “It’s

  pretty cold by then.”

  “Right. That’s o the list.” Monica’s mom made an X in

  the air with a finger. “That doesn’t mean we couldn’t look

  into bouncy castles, cotton candy machines—”

  “I think we have enough ideas for now.” Monica rose, her

  chair scooting across the floor. “How about we continue with

  the house tour?”

  There were four bedrooms upstairs, and when Ray opened

  the first door, Monica could see it had been set up as an

  o ce, with a large, heavy wooden desk and a leather swivel

  chair. Barrister bookcases lined one wall. If Monica hadn’t

  known better, she would’ve thought she had wandered into

  the private study of some nineteenth century country

  gentleman. There was even a pair of hunting prints on the

  wall.

  “Monica’s o ce is across the hall,” Ray explained. “I’ve

  put your bags in there for the time being, Mom. Once we

  know where you’re staying, we can have them brought

  over.”

  “Where I’m staying?” The expression on her mom’s face

  made it seem like she was trying to translate something

  from a foreign language. “In your guest room, of course. Is

  that this one?”

  “No,” Ray called out as Monica’s mom reached for the

  doorknob of the room nearest to her. “That’s, uh, our

  room.”

  “Look at that bed,” her mom squealed, barging into the

  room before Monica had a chance to see. “It’s fit for a

  queen.”

  When Monica finally caught a glimpse, her heart caught

  in her throat. The room was beyond anything she’d

  imagined. It was feminine without being too girly, and

  elegant without being too stu y. If Monica could’ve designed

  her perfect bedroom, this would’ve been it.

  “Is that an antique highboy?” Her mom plucked at

  Monica’s sleeve. “And will you look at this painting?”

  But Monica couldn’t tear her eyes away from the

  centerpiece of the room, an intricately carved cherry four-

  post bed with what seemed to be a handmade lace canopy

  suspended above.

  “What do you think?” Ray asked, her front tooth biting

  down on her bottom lip.

  “I think,” Monica’s mom answered before her daughter

  had the chance, “that I need to excuse myself to find the

  ladies room after all that tea.”

  “Down the hall,” Ray directed. Once she’d gone, Ray

  picked up one of her T-shirts from the floor. “Oh, sorry.”

  “It’s your room,” Monica said with a shrug. “You can

  leave clothes on the floor if you want. My only question is

  how did you get all of my stu in here so fast?”

  Ray gave her an odd look, half shyness and half

  something Monica couldn’t place. “This is your room. I

  must’ve dropped the shirt when I was moving my clothes in

  here.”

  “Mine?” Monica whispered, unable to comprehend that

  she’d be allowed to sleep in a space so beautiful.

  It was perfect for her in every way, the stu of dreams.

  After years of sharing a living space with women who

  insisted on their own style, Monica finally had a space that

  could’ve been plucked from her dreams.

  But in reality, the contents had all come from Ray’s

  storage pod. This was her stu , not Monica’s, yet Ray had

  clearly given her the very best. As she appraised the bed, the

  other furniture, and the artwork on the walls, all Monica

  could wonder was why.

  C H A P T E R S I X T E E N

  As she listened to the chatting coming from the hallway,

  Ray realized she’d never known how truly exhausting

  family could be. There had been nonstop talking for at least

  six hours on everything from wedding plans to the state of

  each cousin’s health in intricate detail, and even though

  Monica had said she needed to go to bed twenty minutes ago,

  she and her mother were still at it. What could they possibly

  have to talk about at ten o’clock at night that couldn’t wait

  for morning?

  “Good night, Mom.” Finally, Monica slipped into the

  bedroom, closing the door. When it clicked shut, she leaned

  her back against it, sinking down several inches like she’d

  had the air let out of her. “Oh, thank God. I thought I would

  never escape.”

  Ray felt for her, even as she marveled at how much

  stamina she’d shown. As soon as Helen had arrived,

  Monica’s demeanor had shifted, as if she’d become a

  tightrope walker constantly balancing her own opinions with

  what her mom undeniably wanted to hear.

  “Now what?” Ray whispered, eyeing the door and feeling

  more than a little grateful for Monica’s body barricading it.

  “Do you figure if I wait an hour before I go downstairs,

  that’ll be long enough?”

  “Go downstairs for what?” Monica whispered back.

  “To sleep.” Ray pointed to the canopy bed. “Afraid we

 

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