There was silence as I waited, all but the slow and steady lapping of waves. I repositioned myself upright to look out into the horizon, delighted when I realized the water all around me was luminous. I spun around to look in all directions as I waded. Electric blue lines under the surface flashed brightly, all connected in an intricate web like synapses or tree roots. It was another physical metaphor—depicting the interconnection of all things, all the frequencies of my power that corresponded with each witch, each coven, each stretch of land, each gust of wind and drop of rain and grain of sand—the ecosystem of the Universe that was both brilliantly resilient and frighteningly, beautifully delicate.

  The Goddess, I whispered. I see her.

  I lifted a palm above the surface, watching as it flashed a bright, ethereal light—the light I saw in Prairie and her friends, the light I saw in Daelon when he lowered his shield, in Taryn and the other members of the secret coven.

  It’s not me, I realized aloud. It’s Her. In all of us.

  For the first time, I understood with my whole soul my mothers’ religion—all witches’ religion, in its many varied forms. Everything Amos and my mothers had ever said about the Goddess finally clicked into place somewhere deep inside the most faithless, lost, and confused pits of me. It had nothing to do with an impersonal, distant deity somewhere in a faraway heaven, blessing tyrant kings and writing rulebooks for mortals.

  She was me. She was all of us. She was the fiber that fate weaved into its Akashic tapestry. She was balance, wholeness, and magick, and Lucius was slowly killing Her. He was separating what was meant to be whole, alienating what was meant to be connected, disrupting what was meant to stay balanced, enslaving what was meant to be free, and decaying what was meant to be alive.

  The Goddess was everything, but everything was too big of a concept to worship, pray to, and understand, so the witches had created form from the formless with their deities. They’d created rituals, spells, and beliefs that helped make sense of that which could never be fully comprehended.

  There is no written guide for Aradia’s restoration, Áine, Momma Celeste said gently. We did all that we could to lead each of you in the right direction, to arm you with the power to hold your own against the Shadow King, and to preserve our wisdom and rituals inside your magick, but nothing was ever a guarantee. Just like before, the road ahead will be confusing and perilous. You will forget your faith and lose your hope. There is a path you cannot see, that you will never see in its entirety. We are but guides, nothing more. You and your allies will have to fight your way to the end of the journey yourselves, knowing always that your ancestors and gods are on your side. The Universe is on your side.

  If you’re worried about your friends in the castle, perhaps you should pay them a visit, Hecate said. The last thing I will say, for now, is this: Your guilt will get you nowhere. It will only drag you backward. In the coming days, remember to ask yourself if you are truly acting for the good of the realm, or if you are trying to assuage the nagging feeling that you don’t deserve to feel good things when others are suffering.

  The voice faded, and I knew I’d reached my wisdom quota. The feeling that I finally understood the entirety of the world and all of life’s secrets was beginning to fade, like coming down off a psychedelic high. Daelon had been right our first training session when he said that witches didn’t need drugs to trip.

  I at least felt much better than before I’d entered my meditative ocean, especially thanks to Hecate’s straightforward advice that was for once not a riddle or nugget of esoteric mysticism. No offense to Amos, bless him.

  I didn’t need to physically travel to the castle to see my friends. That was what astral projection was for.

  I opened my eyes to Daelon slowly running his fingers through my hair with his free hand, his other still intertwined with mine.

  I shivered, and his eyes flashed to mine. “Did I do any damage?” I asked.

  “No. Just the flash thunderstorm that soon cleared, and a mild earthquake that was self-contained. They might link the strange weather back to you, but maybe it’s good they have a healthy sense of fear and wonder,” he said with a soft smile.

  I grimaced. I wasn’t sure I wanted these particular witches to fear me. I was used to damage controlling my magickal outbursts by now. “I’m not quite done doing mystical witch things,” I said.

  Daelon sighed. “Of course you aren’t. What’s next?”

  “I’m going to go see Taryn and find out what’s happening in the castle.” Daelon’s jaw tightened as he eyed me warily. Before he could protest, I said quickly, “I’ll be in and out in ten minutes tops. I’ll be careful. I know it can be risky to project within the witch realm.”

  “Yeah, it is,” Daelon said, visibly calming himself down as he pinned me with his gaze. “Because Lucius could very easily sense you, and he knows you’re a skilled astral traveler. You have no idea what measures he’s taken to protect the castle from your astral body.”

  I swallowed. Okay, those were some very good points. But Hecate, a literal goddess, wouldn’t have suggested to me something that would put me in any real danger… right?

  “You’re not going to listen to me,” he muttered. “I know this because you’ve got your I’m-not-going-to-listen face.”

  I reached for his hand and brought his knuckles to my lips. “I could say the same about you. I went to our ocean for clarity, and I got it. I won’t be able to effectively do what I need to do here in Iciera if I’m worried about what’s happening to them the whole time.”

  Daelon shook his head, releasing a slow breath. “How will knowing what horrible things Lucius is doing help you stay focused?”

  “Because at least I’ll know. At least I won’t be left wondering. I just need to do this, and I need you to be here to pull me out if something goes wrong.”

  “I still very much disagree, but I’ll be here.”

  I smiled. “I know.” I closed my eyes. “Be right back.”

  Chapter 5

  I zipped past the vibrational stage in record time, slipping out of my body to watch Daelon continue to kneel at my side and hold my hand dutifully. It was very, very sweet. But I promised him I’d hurry, so I touched back down to the floor and raised my hand out in front of my astral body.

  A portal to Taryn appears, I commanded with sheer will, and soon an etheric purplish light manifested in the shape of a doorway just in front of the fireplace.

  “Please be safe,” Daelon said. I wasn’t sure if he knew I was still here or if it was a prayer, but I promised him wordlessly all the same.

  I reached a hand into the swirling static of purple, and I was instantly sucked through. The sensation could only be described as what a spider might feel when sucked into vacuum cleaner.

  I landed in my least favorite location in the universe.

  The dungeons.

  I remembered I didn’t have to breathe in the astrals, so I immediately stopped to avoid inhaling the putrid scent of so many bodies packed close together in the damp and musty underbelly of the castle.

  I’d manifested inside what I assumed to be a private interrogation room, much like the one I saw Nathaniel in. Or perhaps it was just meant for solitary confinement, which was in and of itself a disgusting form of torture.

  I spotted Taryn sitting on a barren metal cot, her head between her legs. Tears pricked my eyes immediately. Never once had I seen Taryn look like anything less than a badass warrior goddess. Never once had I seen her so broken.

  Taryn? I asked, slipping into her mind.

  Her head shot up, her eyes darting around the room. “Stop fucking with me!” she screamed. She looked relatively unharmed, a bruised lip and a puffy red mark on her face the only visible injuries, but I couldn’t be sure. Her purple gown looked grimy and torn, and her dark, long locks of hair were disheveled.

  I’m astral projecting. I’m not sure how to prove it to you, but it’s me, I said quickly.

  Her ragged breathing slowed. “If it really is you, I know your attention-seeking ass would find a way to make yourself known.”

  I grinned, the tears now flowing freely. I’ll try my best, but I’m not sure if I can affect anything physical while on the astral plane… wait! I know. Lay down on the cot and close your eyes.

  Taryn lifted a brow and crossed her arms. “Not fucking likely.”

  Taryn, please. Lucius could detect me at any moment, and things could get dangerous. Daelon and I—we’re safe. We made it.

  Now tears brimmed her eyes, and her body trembled. “He said Daelon was dead. He said he had you chained up and ready to be coronated.”

  He’s lying. He’s just punishing you. Let me prove it.

  She lay back begrudgingly on the hard metal, her fists clenched tight as she finally closed her eyes.

  Okay, so this is going to feel weird.

  “You’re making me feel so much better about this, thank you,” she muttered.

  My fingers glowed indigo as I concentrated, remembering how it felt to free Amos from his physical body. I reached for her arm, squinting until I could see the faintest outline of silvery blue. I let my spell seep into her skin, lulling her into a trance.

  Soon I felt a shift, and I knew she was ready to separate. I tugged, and she clumsily stumbled into the astral plane.

  Her eyes were wild, looking from me to her own body and back again with her jaw unhinged.

  “What in the actual fuck, Áine. Like seriously. What even—”

  I laughed. “Yeah. Super trippy, isn’t it?”

  “I can’t with you,” she said under her breath. “Why aren’t you trying to off yourself?”

  That was a great question. I shrugged. “I honestly have no idea. The astral realm is just different sometimes. I don’t feel their collective suffering at all.”

  Taryn pulled me in for a hug. “This feels so weird.”

  “Told you.” I laughed again, pulling back. I wiped the tears from my cheeks, and she did the same.

  “You’re both really alive? You’re in that Iciera place?”

  I nodded. “We’re absolutely fine. We’re way more concerned about you and the others. I needed to know what happened after I left.”

  Taryn looked down at the dingy stone floor. “Good. God, that’s so good. You have no idea how much I needed to hear that,” she said. I did know, because I could feel her strong exhale of relief extend from her aura and into my own heart. “To answer your question, well, I don’t really know. I was knocked unconscious and thrown down here straight away. I think Amos is confined to his chambers—not sure how bad the guards gave it to him. But like he said, I think Lucius still needs him for his evil plans, so I’d imagine he’s relatively okay. I just—I don’t know why I’m being kept alive. I don’t know why the worst I’ve gotten is a few punches and some psyops. I guess he just hopes I’ll spill more about you and where you went, or maybe about who else is plotting against him. I just don’t know.”

  “Do we know why he chose Santana? If he knows anything about the coven?” I asked tentatively.

  “Chose her for what?” she managed to get out, her voice so very small.

  “He killed her, because we got away.”

  She put her hands on her head, her face crumping. “No,” she breathed, shaking her head.

  I wanted to hug her again, but she backed away from me.

  “I haven’t told him anything. And I never will.” She heaved a sob. “She was the kindest, warmest person I’d ever met,” she whispered. “I don’t think I’ve heard her say a single negative thing about anyone, even people who deserved it. The way she treated people—she made me want to be more like her. She’s one of the main reasons I came to believe in all of this—this plan to take back what was stolen.”

  “I’m so sorry,” I said. Her grief reached out to mine, creating a well of sorrow deep enough to drown in. “I promise I tried.” But I hadn’t. Not at the end. She told me to go, and I did, because I knew it was what was best for the future of Aradia. I didn’t know if Santana could’ve been saved, but like she’d said, hesitation would’ve cost us our last chance.

  “Of course you did,” she said, stepping closer to me again. She grabbed my hands in hers. “I’m so glad you made it. And I know you’re going to feel like you have to be miserable because I am miserable, but I really hope you don’t waste time on that. I want you to be as happy as you can be, given our circumstances. The thought of you and Daelon out there somewhere, laughing, planning, meeting with allies, or doing gross sex things, will literally keep me sane.”

  I couldn’t tell if I was laughing or crying now as she rested her forehead against mine.

  “I want you to fight your way back to us when it’s the right time. When you know you will succeed. I want you to kick Lucius’s ass and crumble this castle to the ground, but I would be ten times more miserable if either of you rushed our grand plan out of worry, okay?”

  I pulled back and nodded. I now understood completely why Hecate had recommended this journey, and I was thankful I’d listened.

  “I mean it, Áine. No sad martyr shit, okay? Lucius would like nothing more than to put Daelon’s head on a stake and force you to watch it. He is gunning for you—to turn you into his evil queen and god knows what else—and I would pull an Áine and off myself if I found out you stupidly walked into a trap.”

  I rolled my eyes. “I hate that you keep saying that,” I groaned. “Why can’t pulling an Áine mean shooting fire at Nathaniel? Or better yet, rising from the dead?”

  Taryn laughed heartily, and the sound warmed me up from the inside out. “Because that wouldn’t be nearly as funny to me.”

  “Well, you have a sick sense of humor.”

  “Actually, shooting fire at Nathaniel does sound pretty funny.” She grimaced. “I wished you’d killed him when you had the chance.”

  Shit. Nathaniel. Lucius now knew that Nathaniel had been right all along…

  “That’s the one thing I do know about the aftermath—Nathaniel is back and viler than ever. He finally has what he’s always wanted more than anything in the world.”

  “To be Lucius’s second in command. To take Daelon’s place,” I whispered in horror.

  “I was going to say to crawl so far up Lucius’s ass that he’s built a home and permanently settled there. But yeah, that.” She touched the spot she’d been hit on her physical cheekbone, and my rage began to boil. Of course, Nathaniel was the one who was interrogating and torturing her.

  “Even after Lucius so easily discarded him and sent him here?” I said, my power roaring to life like the start of an ignition.

  “That seems to have only made the sick fuck even more smitten,” Taryn spat. “I think he’s just delighted that Daelon is public enemy number one now.”

  “I don’t know when I’ll be able to see you again,” I said. “But I love you so much, and I’m honored to be your friend. You’re the most incredible, badass woman I know, and your strength has inspired me more times than I can count. Saying that I’m sorry seems meaningless at this point, so I will promise that I will free you and the others as soon as I possibly can.”

  Taryn started to speak, but then her face paled. “Áine—” was all she managed before she was propelled into a far wall and subsequently sucked back into her physical body.

  A hand clamped over my mouth as someone tall and strong pulled me away from her.

  “Hello, my Queen.”

  I thrashed and struggled as Lucius pulled me through space. When we landed somewhere else, I managed to shock him with my power and stumble free.

  “You don’t usually make such blatantly stupid moves,” Lucius said, his stance eerily casual as he folded his arms over his chest. He wore his classic black and gold, his crown perfectly centered in his black hair. “It makes our little games far less entertaining for me.”

  We were in my second least favorite place in the castle. Lucius’s chambers. At least it was his living area and not his bedroom, but I wasn’t about to stick around regardless.

  I thought about my physical body. It was next to Daelon, it was—

  Lucius tsked. “Not so fast, little witch. I thought you might want to know that I found your father for you. Consider it an early coronation gift.”

  Goddessdamn him, but it was just enough to stop me in my tracks. “I don’t have a father,” I said, just as I said to the energy vampires in Paris.

  Lucius laughed. “I knew you thought very highly of yourself, a quality I admire, mind you—but I didn’t think you were arrogant enough to believe you were divinely conceived in the literal sense. You really thought you were a product of immaculate conception, didn’t you?”

  I fumed, my power growing hot and volatile in my blood as I watched Lucius laugh harder. “All this coming from the man who thinks he’s blessed by the heavens to rule the entire universe.”

  “I’ve missed you, Áine,” Lucius sighed. “You challenge me. I used to find it quite annoying, but now I think it’s just one of the many ways you’ve proven yourself to be worthy of me.”

  “Worthy of you?” Now it was my turn to laugh. I needed to get back to my body. He was stalling, and I was letting him. Why wasn’t he angrier? I thought for sure the castle would be drenched in blood from his rage.

  Lucius frowned for a moment, but it shifted quickly into a smirk. “What is it? Why are you thinking so hard?”

  I shook my head. “What’s the difference between your guards beating up Taryn and your father—”

  Lucius’s face finally contorted into his buried rage, a thick black energy leaking from him like poisonous smoke. “What’s the difference between what you lust for in Daelon and what you supposedly find so repulsive in me?”

  “Goodbye, Lucius. One minute longer and I’m going to throw up.”

  “But I haven’t shown you your father, Orion, yet,” he said with a pout. “Don’t you want to see the other half of what made you who you are?”

  I hesitated at the recognition of that name, and suddenly we were no longer in Lucius’s chambers. The room around us spun and shifted to reveal a dark alleyway. A man with short copper hair and matching stubble knelt over a motionless body, his eyes crazed and his aura deep and hollow with an unquenchable hunger. His hand was tight around the collapsed witch’s wrist.

 

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