Please feel free to send me an email. Just know that my publisher filters these emails. Good news is always welcome.

  Mara Lynne - mara_lynne@awesomeauthors.org

  Sign up for my blog for updates and freebies!

  http://maralynne.awesomeauthors.org/

  Copyright © 2017 by MaraLynne

  All Rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of required fees you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this book. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse-engineered or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known, hereinafter invented, without express written permission of BLVNP Inc. For more information contact BLVNP Inc.The publisher does not have any control over and does not assume any responsibility for author or third-party websites or their content. This book is a work of fiction. The characters, incidents and dialogue are drawn from the author’s imagination and are not to be construed as real.While reference might be made to actual historical events or existing locations, the names, characters, places and incidents are either products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons living or dead, business establishments, events or locales is entirely coincidental.

  About the Publisher

  BLVNP Incorporated,A Nevada Corporation,340 S. Lemon #6200,Walnut CA 91789, info@blvnp.com / legal@blvnp.com

  DISCLAIMER

  This book is a work of FICTION. It is fiction and not to be confused with reality. Neither the author nor the publisher or its associates assume any responsibility for any loss, injury, death or legal consequences resulting from acting on the contents in this book.The author’s opinions are not to be construed as the opinions of the publisher.The material in this book is for entertainment purposes ONLY. Enjoy.

  Thoughts of a Broken Mind

  Bonus Chapter

  Shouldn’t Have Dealt

  By: Mara Lynne

  ©MaraLynne2016

  Thoughts of a Broken Mind

  “Thanks for inviting me over, Angel,” Damien hears Colin say.

  He has watched Colin hide that shy smile away from Angel, and as a smirk forms on his face, Damien feels the blood rush to his face. He could not make out what Colin is saying now, but he hears the man praising Angel’s family, and that ignites his fury even more.

  “Your dad is really cool. It’s good that he’s doing well, and your mom makes the homiest chicken pie.”

  “And Ray knows Chinese cuisine so well,” Colin adds.

  “Thanks for the ride, Colin, and for picking the right ice cream,” Angel answers.

  Since when did Colin Verne start visiting Angel’s family? he wonders. And why is he acting as though there’s more than what meets the eye? Surely, he and Angel aren’t an item, are they? For six long months, Damien tried to stay away from her, to erase everything about her in his life, but he just cannot.

  A shy smile spreads across Angel’s cheeks as Colin showers her with what seems to be sweet words. Damien dreads the day he left her without a word, and now that she’s with some other guy, he feels the extreme sting of jealousy and the impulse to whisk Angel away from Colin. That tragic day when Hunter brought Angel at the party, he knew he shouldn’t have just run away. He knew he should have confronted her, ask and let her explain, but he did not.

  Why did he not even approach her? Why did he let Angel go without hearing a single word from her? How foolish and stupid he was to let himself be blinded by anger, weightless conjectures, and conceit. Now that everything has been made clear to him, he deeply regrets his actions.

  His pure and lovely Angel could only have done it because of desperation. Where was he when she needed her most? Why didn’t she tell him? He could have helped her. But it has already been done. None of it matters to him anymore. Her faults have been forgiven and forgotten because he cannot stay mad at her for a long time—he can never stop loving her.

  But he’s hurt her so much. His prideful absence bled her heart to the extent that he is beginning to think that Angel is on her way to the path of recovery and that she’s found a life without him. Each time she tries to find him, he hides away from her, but that’s only because he’s scared she’d see her like this. He can’t let her see the mess he’s become.

  A life without love, fuelled by anger and fear, has made things difficult for him. It could have been remedied immediately if he was brave enough to face the trial, but he chose to run away and lose her. Looking back, he can only wish he stayed and faced her and Hunter and sorted things out, then he wouldn’t have lost her. He wouldn’t have become the disaster he is right now.

  All these insecurities root from the thought that there are men around her who think they deserve her more than him. His brother, Hunter, though he knew he’s not really serious with her, has turned into a potential rival when he’s seen him frequenting her house a couple of times. And then here’s Colin who’s sneaking his way to his woman’s heart.

  Look at what has become of him.

  He’s an addict who’s not far from committing a crime. If he continues this, only God knows what will become of him. Death would be the fastest way to rid of him.

  “We should go out sometimes,” Colin says. “You and me. Dinner.” Colin adds as soon as he sees discomfort growing on her face, “And Ray can come too! He can make a good clown. Oh, definitely not the one we can bully around. That’s not what I meant.”

  “I know, Colin,” she replies. “I’m going to tell Ray, but I’m sure you’ll be busy with work. Your job requires your time and a lot of rest, I guess.”

  “I can always make time for you, Angel.”

  The voices in his head tell him to keep his calm, to stay hidden behind the turn corner, but Colin is really something, and all he wants to do now is give him a good blow to the face. It’s not a good idea, but he just hates it when people make him feel futile or inferior. But if he charges toward the man, what would he tell Angel after? How would he explain his sudden appearance and demeanor? Most of all, can he fathom the idea of Angel denouncing him for what he’s done?

  “Well, good night, Colin.”

  As soon as he’s heard her say that, he felt a huge volume of air escape his lungs, and his chest slackens. For the first time in months, he smiles.

  Colin walks to his car as though Angel’s indirect rejection was nothing at all. Damien could not get any happier than this. He starts to think that tonight might be the right time to show up, to speak to her, to listen to her, and ask for her forgiveness for leaving her behind. All of a sudden, he feels strangely courageous to step out from the shadows and find himself on the road to redemption. Tonight, he’ll know Angel’s deepest thoughts. Tonight, he could win her back.

  Seeing her look up at the sky as her thoughts linger somewhere in the vast universe, Damien wonders if he is included in it, if Angel still thinks of him… if even a tiny room in her brain is allotted for a man such as him. The cold breeze of wind touches her face softly, and her hair dances along beautifully. She must be really cold as she wraps her arms around her and heaves long, deep breaths each time the chilly air brushes across her skin. Her knitted flannel is too thin to keep her warm, and Damien finds himself wanting to be by her side, wrapping her with his warmth.

  She’s just a few steps from him, and with just one little movement, Angel would know he has been watching her for the longest time.

  But she looks so peaceful and lovely, and he could not dare to wreck this beauty once again.

  He, who’s become a complete failure and whose tragedy is well known amongst all people in this town, is not in the best shape to be seen. Although his mind says it will be alright, something inside him is fighting off the idea. Would he want Angel to see a man who destroyed himself—a man whose mind is shattered by drugs and whose veins are run and fed by alcohol and smoke? Angel probably knows about his adventures in the past months, and he knows that she, by no means, is and will never be impressed by him.

  Perhaps, it is not the right time yet.

  Maybe he’s just got too excited, or maybe he’s had too much drugs today and is just hallucinating things. Maybe all these did not really happen and are just products of his broken state of mind. Maybe the desperation to feel accepted and to know that Angel could still love him back made him see things that are too good and too immense to be real.

  Is he asking for too much?

  He only wants to know and feel that he is still loved by her, but why does it seem as though everything that happened tonight was just figments of his convoluted imagination, as though his brain created wondrous memories to keep him happy and alive while his physical body languishes and the fire of hope slowly peters out?

  There’s no way Angel will take him back looking like this. He’s not the Damien Etheridge she fell in love with, and definitely not the man she will love again.

  He turns his back on her and heads straight away, far from her, far from the delusion that’s hurting him, without even looking where he’s going. He just wants to be away from her. He does not want Angel to see him like this. It will not do his sanity any good. If she sees him, he has to be that same man she’s fallen in love with, the Damien who’s smart, strong, and wi tty, the real Damien Etheridge, not this pathetic and hopeless loser who went into addiction because he was trapped in his own web of doubts.

  His arms begin to tremble, and a sea of sweat soaks his forehead, a few beads dropping to his collar. His chest thumps as though he’s in a horse race, and it threatens to explode each time his feet takes a step forward.

  “Damien!”

  Don’t look back, he told himself. It’s just his unstable mind confusing him. It’s just his messed up head; he’s not really hearing the right things. And so, he keeps on walking until he finds the cure for this shaking and palpitations. Maybe all he needs for now is a shot of vodka or a bottle of beer.

  “Damien!”

  Cars whiz by him in full speed. Wherever he turns, he sees flashing objects appearing and disappearing in seconds—too quick like the speed of light. Piercing noises from everywhere pound his ears. He could barely hear anything except that voice calling his name until…

  One distinct sound catches his attention, and his legs freeze as his eyes fix on a zooming vehicle coming towards him. A bright flash of light blinds his eyes until he feels himself falling slowly and his head hits the ground.

  There’s nothing thereafter.

  Make sure to read the whole story when you buy Shouldn’t Have Dealt available on Amazon!

  About the Author

  Other than reading and writing stories, Mara Lynne loves to daydream. Sometimes she would have a hard time falling asleep because of the many stories going on around her head. Unusual characters and twisted plots keep her company each night, and would only leave her once she had breathe life to them. She discovered the passion for writing when she was eleven years old–the time when she met the well-loved red-haired Anne Shirley. She fell in love with the kindred spirit Anne because she sees herself in her. There was a time when she even thought she was Anne of Green Gables! Seriously! It was like a mild case of identification, a defense mechanism for wanting to be somebody you adore or worship but whom you can never be. After Anne Shirley, she fell in love with all of Jane Austen heroines, with Anne Elliot as her most loved. She just loved everyone whose name is Anne!! When she is not writing, Mara Lynne works as a full time registered nurse in England. She hailed from a city in the southern part of the Philippines.

 

 

  Mara Lynne, Thoughts of a Broken Mind: A Shouldn't Have Dealt Bonus Chapter

  Thanks for reading the books on GrayCity.Net