Earth and desire, p.1
Earth & Desire, page 1
TABLE OF CONTENTS
DEDICATION
EARTH & DESIRE SPOTIFY PLAYLIST
CHAPTER ONE
CHAPTER TWO
CHAPTER THREE
CHAPTER FOUR
CHAPTER FIVE
CHAPTER SIX
CHAPTER SEVEN
CHAPTER EIGHT
CHAPTER NINE
CHAPTER TEN
CHAPTER ELEVEN
CHAPTER TWELVE
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
CHAPTER NINETEEN
CHAPTER TWENTY
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
EPILOGUE
COPYRIGHT PAGE
Earth & Desire Copyright © 2018 by Marci Belle
The moral rights of the author have been asserted.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other non-commercial uses permitted by copyright law.
For permission requests, write to the publisher, addressed “Attention Permissions Coordinator” at the email below.
All enquiries to marcibellewords@gmail.com
First Published 2018
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.
Band names and the UK’s No 1 Folk Punk Show have been granted permission for use in the book.
DEDICATION
The gardens of Willow House are warmly dedicated to my youngest daughter
Willow. May your blossoms always be the brightest and most beautiful
wherever you choose to seed in life.
EARTH & DESIRE SPOTIFY PLAYLIST
Full Playlist Link
Rose Tattoo - Dropkick Murphys
Devil’s Dance Floor - Flogging Molly
The Last Of The Highwaymen - Sons Of Clogger
Summer Skies - Under A Banner
The Battle Of Beanfield - The Levellers
An Irish Pub Song - The Rumjacks
The Pogues - Irish Rover
King Of The Gypsies -Sons Of Clogger
Whiskey In The Jar - The Dublin City Ramblers
Travellers - Levellers
Nothing Compares To You - Sinead O’Connor
What A Beautiful Day - Levellers
English Soul - Under A Banner
Linger (Acoustic Version) - The Cranberries
The Travelling Fair - Sons Of Clogger
EARTH & DESIRE GLOSSARY
This is a glossary for those of you who do not have an understanding of Irish Traveller or UK vernacular. Be warned, some words are not for the faint-hearted.
FECK - The Irish word for Fuck
GOB - UK word for mouth. Often used in a sentence like, “Shut your Gob!”
LASS - Scottish word for Female often used universally in the UK
MATE - UK word for Friend or Buddy
SHITE - The Irish word for Shit
STONKIN’ - A UK word used to emphasize whether something is good or bad. Often used in expressions like, “I have a stonkin’ headache.”
Now that you’re brushed up on the characters slang, you should breeze right through this book.
Enjoy x
CHAPTER ONE
Annie
* * *
I pull into the driveway of Willow House and am overtaken with a flood of mixed emotions. The place I remember is different now.
The buttery yellow roses that proudly framed the doorway are now an overgrown tangle, the white plaster is cracking, and the pale blue paint on the window frames is aggressively peeling off.
It’s hard not to be overwhelmed by the mountain I’m facing as the next caretaker of Willow House B & B in Hay-on-Wye. The legacy handed down by two generations of my family is now my responsibility.
I won’t sell it, or walk away. I’ll proudly take it on.
My heart pounds in my chest as I take the next step forward toward my new life. I only wish Alex was here at my side to share this moment, but he isn't. He won't ever be.
Gazing down at my phone, I hope to find the text message I know will never come. There isn’t one. Of course there isn’t. I fight back a wave of sadness, certain that today of all days, will not be ruined by him.
He’s ruined too many days for me already.
Upon opening the heavy oak door, I enter a silent world cast in darkness. There’s no Aunt Rose to greet me with the customary welcome embrace. No Aunt Rose to whisk me away to the kitchen for a cup of tea and a hearty serving of her freshly baked quiche. Nor the enormous slice of homemade Victoria sponge cake that invariably followed.
The curtains are drawn in the sitting room, explaining a lot of the darkness. I don't recall seeing them closed once over the years. The house was a conduit of warmth and light. I tie them back and watch the constellation of floating dust illuminated by the sunlight, and then I take a look around.
The furniture is covered in sheets, but the shapes are still familiar. Nothing has changed for decades. It's comforting.
I speak aloud to the empty room. "I’m sorry for not being here for you Aunt Rose."
Life in London was hectic, never time for much else but work. Deadlines. Projects. Always so many people to schedule in.
Not least Alex.
I always made time for Alex.
I’m just so sorry I never managed to make more time for my Aunt Rose.
I always thought we’d have more time.
I'm getting choked up, and it’s not from the dust. I’m not even sure quite what’s sending me to the edge of tears this time. Leaving everything I know behind, losing Aunt Rose, the new life ahead of me, or Alex’s decision to end our relationship when I needed him most.
I gave him two whole amazing years.
And now they’re gone.
I’ve barely had time to choke back the sadness when I hear a tap from the front door. Strange, visitors so soon?
I retrace my steps and immediately see a small, dark-haired figure through the glass on the other side. I force myself to smile as I swing the door open. "Hello, how can I help you?"
My unexpected visitor is a young woman; possibly in her twenties. She has big dark eyes and beautiful thick lashes made all the more dramatic by a thin but friendly smile.
"Halloo.” The woman says. “My name is Charlotte. I knew your Aunt Rose."
The familiar lilt of the Welsh accent takes me right back to my childhood.
“Sorry for dropping by so soon. I wanted to offer my condolences and introduce myself. I worked for Rose until she fell ill. I helped her with the B&B when it was still running."
Word sure travels fast around these parts. I only pulled into the village half an hour ago.
I step aside. "I’ve only just arrived, but you’re welcome to come in."
She walks in without an ounce of hesitation. I sense her familiarity with the house and feel strangely jealous.
"I’m Rose's niece Annie by the way." I hold out a hand and she takes it.
“I know.” She says with a grin. “I’ve heard all about you. I love the accent. She told me you were a Californian girl. I’d like to go to America someday, especially...what’s the name of that place? Something world.”
“Disney World.” I clarify. Why does everyone always want to visit the overpriced tourist traps? See the real U.S.A first. I suppose I can’t blame them. It was a magical place to me as a child.
She responds with an ardent, “Yes!” then moves through the sitting room like this is the most natural thing in the world. She starts clearing the sheets from the settees tidying up quite happily, until she finds me staring and pauses.
"Shit, I’m sorry. I hope you don't mind. I guess it all just comes back to me naturally - the cleaning I mean.” She stops and looks right at me. “I shouldn’t just rush on in.”
But I don’t mind. It’s nice not to be alone in a house full of my childhood ghosts, and hell, I could use all the help I can get.
I’m laughing quietly as I join her. “Seriously, I’m grateful. Maybe you can tell me a bit about your memories of my aunt while we make this room a tad more habitable."
It so happens that I instantly like Charlotte. She has big, bubbly energy and seems very sweet. I could use someone like her around permanently, I decide as we finish up in the sitting room. She feels like an old friend as we flop down onto the settee after our efforts.
We talk. We share memories.
I even manage to laugh a proper laugh. My first in weeks.
We move to the kitchen and locate the old kettle and tea cups tucked away in a cupboard. I dash to the car and grab the bag of shopping I quickly picked up containing the box of PG Tips, milk and sugar, and then prepare two cups of milky sweet tea. I’m startled when I look out the kitchen window onto what is now a monstrously overgrown back garden.
Shit.
This garden is huge. I remember now.
Really huge.
Charlotte’s expression matches mine. There’s no chance I can do this alone, and we both know it.
If I’m lucky, I have my first recruit right here in her.
I sigh as I fully appreciate the tasks ahead. "I need to get this place up and running again Charlotte. The carpet hasn't changed since I was a girl. The décor is…dated. There’s a lot to do here.”
Charlotte nods and smiles. “There sure is, and if you need any help…”
I’m glad she’s offering. I turn to face her as I explain my situation. “The money I inherited with the house is going to go into repairs and resuscitating the property. I hope you’re looking for work, because I’m really looking for a pair of hands.”
I’m not even finished with my sentence when she jumps on the opportunity.
"When do I begin?" Her grin is bright.
I can't help but laugh. "Next Monday work for you?"
"Monday is perfect. I’ll be here early if that works?”
“That works.”
She finishes up her tea and looks again at the garden. “I can handle inside, but you might want to think about a gardener and a handyman. You’ll need a strong pair of arms to tackle this lot."
I agree and nod my head. “Any ideas?”
"I have the perfect person in mind.” She winks. “Shall I invite him around tomorrow?"
I reply with what comes out as an over-excited absolutely, and I guess that seals the deal. She swills her empty mug in the sink as best she can with no dish soap.
Everything seems to be falling into place quite nicely thanks to my brand-new employee. She’s like an angel from above, I think, and dare to hope this might be a positive indicator for my new life.
I can’t read her expression as she smirks at me on her way back to the front door. “His name is Jack Connors, and believe me, you’re going to really, really thank me for this one."
CHAPTER TWO
Jack
* * *
Christ, it's raining cats and dogs. What time is it anyway?
Eleven in the morning. I better crack on.
I can't believe I have to go out in this shite weather. Charlotte's got me an interview with that American woman over at Willow House and I'm not going to let her down.
No doubt Jimmy Burton's going to try and jump on the job if I skive off. I'm surprised he hasn't been down to mark his territory - as usual.
Charlotte Davies is a diamond. She also hates Jimmy. Some kind of fall out. She's making sure everyone keeps the job hush from him, but it's only a matter of time. I know what he’s like - sniffs them out like a bloodhound.
Charlotte's been good as gold with me these days. She's a nice girl. I can't work out if she’s pretty or not, but either way, she does nothing for me. Women have been off the radar for a while anyway.
I can't believe how much Marie screwed me up. That's never happening again.
It's been five years since she broke my heart. Crazy to think I'm still bitter because of the shite she put me through. It was one-sided from the beginning. I gave, she took. I got nothing in return but grief. I really gave it my all.
I treated her the way my ma taught me to treat women - with respect. Where am I now though? A thirty year old Traveller without kids or a wife.
But I don't need any of that now. I have my guitar, the land and my hands. A nice shag every once in a while keeps me going. Luckily, it's never a problem meeting those horny festival girls. No one's looking for commitment.
I occasionally meet someone I can connect with, but nothing ever works out. It's always drunk, in the moment sex. Nothing more. I can deal with that.
What I CAN'T deal with at the moment is drama. I have to stay focused. But focused on what?
I'm growing tired of the nomadic lifestyle, even if it runs in my Irish Traveller blood.
Settling down a while to revitalize and deal with my demons in a place like Hay-on-Wye is ideal for me. Far away from Marie.
My people never settle for long, and I doubt I will either. We're proud Irish Travellers where I'm from; born without a fixed abode. We love the land, our horses, and we settle disputes with our bare fists. Our traditions haven't faltered for generations.
I love the earth. It raised me.
As a boy, I was at my ma's side giving as much as my little body could, helping alongside her in our allotment. My father never lifted a finger to help her with anything. He was always off somewhere working, gambling, or getting drunk.
The bond between mother and son was infallible and the rewards of our labor felt like magic to a young boy.
Well read for a Traveller woman, she was an endless source of knowledge in all subjects, even politics. She even demanded I learn the Latin names of the British flora and fauna around us.
In my small world, she was the gateway to many wonders.
The tenth anniversary of her passing is next month. I lost her, and I lost Marie, who's now married with two kids. She shacked up with Will Stewart. That prick.
I lost everything.
I accept my fate and will live as I am destined too. In this moment, I am destined to get the hell out of here and get to Willow House.
Annie
* * *
It's been emotional. Now that I'm here in the serenity of this beautiful place, I'm okay with the responsibility I inherited. Excited actually. I'm ready to face it now, even if the move here and the break up with Alex has already taken a lot out of me.
I choose the master bedroom as my personal space in the house; the room my Aunt Rose spent so many years in. I finish unpacking important essentials and try to settle in. I’ll take it day by day.
When I've finished remodeling the guest rooms, I'll strip the horrible yellowing wallpaper and make it my own.
I'd love to head into town today and pick up some essentials, but it's raining and I need to wait for the gardener to drop by. Let's hope he shows and doesn't take too long.
I stare out the sitting room window while I wait and memories of the years I spent here as a child come flooding back. It was always my special place. I carried it in my heart, even when I was back home in California.
It's an idyllic location for a B & B with its proximity to the Brecon Beacons. Aunt Rose was always booked a year in advance. The town is famous for its world-renowned book festival, but it's wonderful bookshops, picturesque streets and castle are an attraction all year round.
Yes, I will be happy here. Willow House is the most special place in the world to me. More so, because it has been in my family for generations.
I look down at my phone as I have done several times since leaving London. I know what to expect. Nothing from Alex.
Doesn't he miss me? I could only hope, but I know the outcome. It’s over and I will never hear from him again.
I had to hide the phone last night to stop myself from ringing him. I almost gave in, but recalling his reason for not coming with me was enough to snap me out of it.
"We're heading in two different directions Annie, it's time to go our separate ways. I'm maturing and you...you aren't." Then he just walked out my front door.
