How much i want, p.1
How Much I Want, page 1
How Much I Want
Miami Nights Series, Book 4
Marie Force
How Much I Want
Miami Nights Series, Book 4
By Marie Force
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Published by HTJB, Inc.
Copyright 2022. HTJB, Inc.
Cover Design by Kristina Brinton
E-book Layout: E-book Formatting Fairies
ISBN: 978-1952793806
This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return it and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author. To obtain permission to excerpt portions of the text, please contact the author at marie@marieforce.com.
All characters in this book are fiction and figments of the author’s imagination.
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MARIE FORCE is a registered trademark with the United States Patent & Trademark Office.
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The Miami Nights Series
Book 1: How Much I Feel
(Carmen & Jason)
Book 2: How Much I Care
(Maria & Austin)
Book 3: How Much I Love
(Dee & Wyatt)
Nochebuena, A Miami Nights Novella
Book 4: How Much I Want
(Nico & Sofia)
Book 5: How Much I Need
(Milo’s story)
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Miami Nights Series Boxed Set, Books 1-3
Contents
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Epilogue
About the Author
Chapter 1
SOFIA
I’m keeping careful watch over the moro after Marlene taught me how quickly the rice and beans can become mushy. After I turn down the heat on the gas stove, I stir the huge pot to keep the rice from sticking to the bottom of the pan. Marlene said it’s a delicate balancing act. I had to look up the meaning of that expression and learned it means to carefully manage two or more things. Today, I’m managing the rice and beans and the attention of a man who makes my heart race when he looks at me the way he does.
Nico Giordino.
His sisters and cousin have warned me away from him.
Maria says he’s toxic with women. I had to look up the meaning of the word toxic, too. I found out that means his behavior would add negativity and upset to my life, which is the last thing I need after what I’ve gone through with Mateo’s father.
Speak of the devil… That’s another phrase I learned from Livia. Anytime I hear something I don’t understand, I ask for the meaning and then add it to the notebook I keep full of English words and sayings I want to remember. Since my son’s medical emergency brought me to Dr. Jason Northrup and the Giordino family, I’m determined to learn as much English as I can. While I was blessed with wonderful translators who helped me navigate the medical maze, I decided I need a much better understanding of spoken English.
After spending most of my childhood in Mexico, I returned to Miami when I was in high school and worked hard to catch up to my classmates. I’m pretty good with reading and writing. It’s the speaking and comprehension part I’m working on now. I like that word—comprehension.
Marlene, who committed to learning English after her first trip “home” to Cuba since the revolution made her realize that Miami is now her home, has been my partner in improving my English. While we’ll always be proud native Spanish speakers, we’re pleased with what we’ve learned at our ESL classes. The instructor says I’m a natural, and I’m on my way to being fluent. I had to look up that word, and the meaning made me proud of what I’ve accomplished. We start back to class in March, and in the meantime, I’ve been reading books in English to help with my comprehension. I try to learn at least ten new words a day that I keep in a notebook that I study every night before bed.
Back to the devil… He’s due any minute to deliver our son to me for Nochebuena and Christmas.
Joaquín Diaz was my high school boyfriend, who, somewhere along the way, fell into the wrong crowd, got himself into trouble with drugs and petty crime and made my life a living hell for years with intense emotional abuse that later became physical. I’ve finally broken free of him, thanks in no small part to Marlene and Livia, who heard about our plight when Mateo was sick, offered me a job with benefits and quite simply saved my life—and my son’s. Thanks to them and a friend who’s a lawyer, I’ve filed for divorce and received a protective order that requires Joaquín to stay five hundred feet from me. The only exception to the order is when we hand off our son between visits.
Sometimes I still can’t believe it’s come to a need for official protection from the man I once loved.
“Sofia,” Nico’s cousin Domenic says. “Someone’s asking for you outside.”
I experience a moment of pure joy at the thought of seeing my little boy, quickly followed by the dread of having to see his father. After washing my hands, I ask Dee to keep an eye on the moro for me and go out through the garage to greet my son.
Mateo, who is five, is doing a lot better than he was, but he’s still got a long way to go in his recovery from brain surgery to remove a cancerous tumor. Thankfully, Jason got it all, and he recommended a course of radiation that’s now completed. But the damage to his fine motor skills, another English term that has become familiar to me, was significant, thus the ongoing physical and occupational therapy. He also has a slight sag on the right side of his face that Jason says may or may not correct itself. We’re waiting to see on that.
Nico pulls up in his truck as I emerge from the garage into bright South Florida sunshine. Marlene sent him to pick up the keg from a nearby liquor store. He approaches Joaquín’s old red sedan, which is parked in the driveway. “I’ll take him,” Nico says.
I stand back and allow Nico to intervene on my behalf, not willing to admit what a relief it is to have him deal with Joaquín so I don’t have to.
“I need to speak to my wife,” Joaquín says in Spanish as he tightens his hold on Mateo.
“She’s not your wife any longer,” Nico reminds him, also in Spanish, as he reaches for my son.
“Back off, dude.”
I step forward before they get physical. I wouldn’t put it past either of them. “It’s okay, Nico. I’ve got this.”
Glaring at Joaquín, Nico takes a step back but stays nearby. Just in case.
I take Mateo from Joaquín and hold him close. He smells like cigarette smoke, which enrages me. How can Joaquín smoke around him—or allow anyone else to—after what he’s been through? “What do you need?”
“I want you to come home for Christmas,” he says in Spanish. “Where you belong.”
“I’m sorry, that’s not possible,” I reply in English.
His scowl turns a face I once found handsome ugly. “You’re so fancy now, you can’t even speak your own language?”
“I’ll see you on the thirtieth.” I turn away from him to carry Mateo inside. He’s looking forward to swimming in Marlene’s pool before the party begins later this afternoon.
“Don’t take another step,” Nico says to Joaquín.
I keep walking as if I didn’t hear that. I trust Nico to make sure Joaquín doesn’t follow us inside. But the minute I’m safely in the house, I rush to the front window to look out to make sure the situation isn’t escalating. Mateo snuggles into my embrace, seeming relieved, as he always is, to be back with me.
The two men are exchanging words, but that’s all it is.
After Joaquín makes an obscene gesture at him, Nico walks away, his fists rolled tightly by his sides. My heart races at the sight of him, angry on my behalf. Why does that mean so much to me? Maybe it’s because for years no one was ever angry on my behalf while Joaquín was bullying me into doing everything his way.
Nico comes to find me in Marlene’s dining room, where the huge table is covered with serving dishes and other party items.
“Gracias,” I say to him. “Lo siento.” When I’m upset, I revert to my native language.
“Don’t thank me or apologize to me,” he says in a harsh tone that’s not directed at me.
How do I know that? I couldn’t say other than he’s never been anything other than sweet to me, but Joaquín can mak e the sweetest person angry in a matter of seconds. I never saw that side of him until after we were married.
“I don’t like the way that guy acts as if you still belong to him.”
“He knows I don’t.”
Nico puts his hands on his hips, frustration apparent in his pose and expression. “Does he?”
“If he doesn’t, that’s not my fault. What else can I do besides file for divorce?”
“I hate the idea of you guys not being safe,” he says, softly so as not to alarm Mateo.
“We’re safe.” The waver in my voice tells the true story. I never feel truly safe except for when I’m at work, surrounded by people like him who care about me. And Nico doesn’t even work at Giordino’s. He’s just there a lot, especially when I’m working.
“I wish…” He stops himself and shakes his head.
“What do you wish?”
“We should talk about that sometime when we’re not surrounded by people during a holiday.”
My heart is beating so fast I wonder if I’m going to pass out, or something equally embarrassing, in front of the man who’s become a close friend over the last few months. What does he want to talk about?
“I’m going to contact a friend who’s a cop and ask him to send cars by here later, just in case your ex decides to come back and start trouble.”
I swallow hard at the thought of my ex-husband causing trouble for the family that’s been so good to us. “You really think that’s necessary?”
“I do.”
“Maybe Mateo and I should go. If we’re not here, then no one will bother your family.”
“You’re safer here than you’d be anywhere else. The people here would kill for you.”
“Would they?”
“They would.”
“All of them, or just you?”
“All of them, but especially me.”
“And why is that?”
“That’s the thing we should maybe talk about when my entire family isn’t about to arrive for Nochebuena.”
The look he gives me when he says those words steals the breath from my lungs. Nico Giordino is the sexiest man on the planet, and I’ll fight anyone who says otherwise. Right in that moment, I don’t care that his sisters and cousin think he’s toxic toward women.
I just want more of him and the way he makes me feel.
NICO
Nochebuena is usually my favorite night of the year, but I can’t relax after the encounter with Sofia’s ex. Not to mention work is busy, and I’m keeping an eye on things while my family parties all around me. My phone buzzes with constant questions that only I can answer as the owner of the car service that’s running at full tilt tonight. Normally, I’d be thrilled about that, but I can’t think about anything other than Sofia, Mateo and the son of a bitch who is her child’s father.
I got to see him in action earlier when he dropped Mateo at Abuela’s for the party. After he hassled Sofia—and me when I got involved—I asked my friend Miguel, who’s a cop, to send patrols past the house in case he comes back looking for trouble. Miguel filled me in on Joaquín’s background, which put me even more on edge.
He has a record a mile long and is well known to local police.
And he’s still legally married to the woman I want with every fiber of my being.
My stomach tightens to the point of nausea at the thought of her or Mateo being in danger from a man who should’ve been the one to protect them.
They have me now, and I’d die before I’d let anything happen to either of them.
Abuela’s annual Christmas Eve celebration rages all around me, with family, friends, food, music, booze and presents. Santa is due to arrive any minute, and the local Cuban band that plays every year is better than ever.
I can’t bring myself to care about any of it. My entire focus is on Sofia and Mateo.
Watching them playing in Abuela’s heated pool with my sister Maria and her fiancé’s daughter, Everly, I can’t help but smile at Mateo’s pleasure at being in the water. The poor little guy has been through a rough ordeal since Carmen’s now-husband Jason discovered the tumor and removed it in an emergency surgery. The cancer is gone, but the child is still fighting his way back to full health after months of rigorous physical and occupational therapy.
In time, he’s expected to make a complete recovery, but he may always have deficiencies to overcome. We don’t know yet what the future holds for him, and we won’t know for a while yet, but I want to be there for them both.
That’s a first for me.
I’ve never felt that way about anyone else, but for some reason, the minute I met Sofia, I wanted her in a way I’ve never wanted anyone else.
My sisters and cousin have told her to stay away from me. They say I’m “toxic” with women, and sure, that’s probably been true in the past. But everything about her is different, and I’m determined to be different, too. I understand the stakes. She’s a single mom of a child with special needs and is in the middle of a contentious divorce from a potentially dangerous man.
The last thing she needs is bullshit of any kind, which is why I’m determined to be a much better version of myself with her.
If only I can convince her to give me a chance to prove that to her.
So far, we’ve been all about the flirtation, but nothing has come of it.
Yet.
My cousin Domenic, home from New York for the holidays, brings me another beer.
I take the icy bottle from him. “Thanks.”
“What’s up with you, hombre? You’re wound tighter than a drum today.”
“Nothing. Just busy at work. I probably ought to be there, but I didn’t want to miss Nochebuena.”
“Try telling that to someone who doesn’t know you better than just about anyone. Work doesn’t stress you out like this.”
“It’s my first Christmas as the owner. It is stressing me out. Every car is booked through New Year’s.”
“That’s great, primo. Congratulations.”
I shrug. If you want to know how far gone I am over Sofia, the fact that I don't care that my new business is killing it is a pretty good indication.
Dom sits on the barstool next to mine. “What’s going on, Nico? And tell me the truth this time.”
“Sofia.”
“Sofia-from-the-restaurant Sofia?”
“Yeah.”
“What about her?”
I hesitate to say words that can never be taken back, even to my cousin and close friend. However, I’m clearly doing a piss-poor job of hiding my torment if Dom picked up on it. “Everything about her.”
He goes still, his expression completely blank. “Seriously?”
“As serious as it gets.”
“Are you… like… seeing her?”
“Not officially, but I’d like to be.”
“Dude…”
“What?”
“It’s just… you know… not like you to be into a single mom.”
I keep my gaze fixed on her and Mateo. If she’s anywhere near me, I can’t help but look at her. “She’s special.”
“How so?”
“I can’t explain it. She does it for me.”
“What does she think of you?”
“She likes me, but the girls told her to stay away from me. The word ‘toxic’ was used.”
Domenic cracks up at that. “I bet it was.”
“You’re supposed to be on my side.”
He holds up his free hand. “I am. Always. But, Nico… A single mom? Really? You can’t do what you do with her.”
The comment pisses me off. “I know that.”
“Isn’t her son sick, too?”
