“Marry him,” Finley said.

  The rest of us chuckled.

  She shook her head. “I’m serious. I’ve known men who thought that was a sign that you were undatable. Or men who thought you deserved it if you were cheated on. A guy who apologized for another man’s fuck up is one you should totally marry.”

  “I’m not quite there yet,” I said with a laugh.

  “But you like him a lot, maybe love him,” Laura said. “And he feels the same. You’re lucky.”

  “But he’s leaving. He isn’t staying in MacKellar Cove,” I told them.

  “Only you know if that’s a deal-breaker or not,” Karissa said. “If you’re okay with leaving, don’t let anyone stop you. If you’re not, don’t let him force you.”

  “I don’t even know how he feels. If he’s thinking anything close to the same things.”

  “Ask him,” Finley said.

  “No!” the rest of them said.

  Finley chuckled. “I’m straightforward. I don’t like games. I want to know where I stand with a person, and I’m not afraid to ask them.”

  “I don’t think I can do that,” I admitted.

  “You don’t have to. What you need to figure out first is how you feel. If you love him,” Blake said. “I wasn’t willing to admit to myself that I loved Ian for a long time. He told me he loved me and I told him he didn’t.”

  “You what?” I asked.

  Blake nodded. “Not my finest moment. But he stuck around long enough for me to figure it out. If Gavin is like me, you have to know what you want. You have to know how you feel. If you aren’t sure, you could miss out on something amazing if you aren’t willing to push for it. I almost did.”

  “Ian would never have let you go,” Finley said.

  “James pushed me away,” Trinity said. “Relationships aren’t easy. I was going to leave so I didn’t have to see him everyday.”

  “That’s how I got here. I didn’t want to see my ex ever again,” I told them.

  “Are you sure you’re over him?” Melody asked gently.

  I nodded. “I am. I don’t think I ever loved him. I was ashamed that he felt the need to cheat, but he wasn’t right for me. He couldn’t handle that I was better at our job than he was and that was how he retaliated.”

  “You’re definitely better off without him,” Karissa said.

  “Yes, I am.”

  “When you think of life without Gavin, how do you feel?” Elise asked.

  I sucked in a sharp breath and paused.

  “She’s in love,” they all said.

  “What? Why do you say that?”

  “Because it physically hurt to imagine not having him in your life,” Blake said. “That was how I finally pulled my head out of my butt and admitted I loved Ian. Losing him was more painful to imagine than risking my heart to be with him.”

  “Losing Ramsey was more painful than losing our son,” Melody said. “Losing a child isn’t easy, but I survived that because I knew I had Ramsey and Amber. Losing Ramsey was unfathomable for me. When he walked out, I knew I’d never be okay again. But it took me months to tell him that I wanted him back.”

  “Don’t do that,” Karissa said. “I let the guy I could have built a life with slip away. I’ve regretted it ever since. I have no idea what happened to him, and I don’t want to know because I screwed it up. I wasn’t willing to let him have his dreams. I could have worked anywhere, but I wanted to be here. I know it gave me time with my mom I wouldn’t have had otherwise, but it means I missed out on a life with a man I loved. You need to choose what’s right for you, but I also want you to know what happens if you never tell him how you feel and you let him go back. Men aren’t always brave enough to admit their feelings. Sometimes we need to do it first.”

  Admitting how I felt was a terrifying option. I wasn’t sure I could do it. But knowing the alternate was losing Gavin forever…there was no good option. Nothing that guaranteed everything would work out.

  All I did learn from talking to them was I definitely was in love with him. I should have been happy about that. I should have been excited and bouncing off the walls. Instead, I just wanted another piece of cake, my fuzzy pajamas, and a movie with Sofia.

  Hiding was a good option, right?

  18

  Gavin

  The excited footsteps pounding onto the porch were the first sign Zoey and the kids had arrived. Aunt Gina and I looked at each other and smiled. We’d been waiting for them, almost as excited as the kids about their arrival.

  The door burst open before we could get there and the hellions flew in. A whirl of dark curls and a blond mop whipped through the room.

  “What do you think you’re doing?” Aunt Gina bellowed.

  The kids froze and looked up at her, eyes wide with terror. They risked a glance at me. I glared at them, not giving anything away.

  “Sorry,” Alexis said softly. “Mommy said we could run inside.”

  “And you thought it was okay to do that without giving us hugs first?” Aunt Gina said solemnly.

  It took the kids a minute to realize what she said. Aunt Gina grinned at them, and they relaxed again, bouncing over to hug her and then jumping on me.

  “We missed you, Uncle Gavin,” Cameron said.

  “I missed you guys, too. Is Mommy getting everything out of the car?”

  Cam nodded.

  “I’ll go help her. I can only imagine how much stuff she has to bring in. You guys tell Aunt Gina about the trip.”

  They were chattering away as I walked out the front door.

  Zoey was at her trunk, pulling bags and suitcases out and setting them on the snow covered ground before glancing at the door. She stopped when she saw me.

  “Jesus, are you a sight for sore eyes,” she said.

  I walked over and pulled her into a hug, only realizing she was crying when I let go. “What’s wrong?”

  “I’m just really happy to be here for a little while. And to see you and Aunt Gina. It’s been a hard month.”

  “And I wasn’t there. I’m sorry, Zo. I should have just come back when I realized Aunt Gina wasn’t ready to do any work yet. At least not the big work.”

  “No, you shouldn’t have. I need to figure out how to function on my own without you around all the time.”

  “Why the hell would you need to do that? If I had it my way you guys would just move in with me.”

  She chuckled the way she always did when I said that and shook her head. “We both know we would ruin your personal life. ‘Yeah, sure, baby, you can come over. But my sister and her two kids live with me, so you have to be quiet.’”

  “Is that what you think I sound like?” I asked.

  She laughed and hugged me again. “I love that my impression of your voice is what you’re annoyed by. God, it’s so good to be here.”

  “Yes, it is. Now, what goes where? Is there anything that needs to go in my room?”

  She nodded. “The green suitcase. And that flowered bag.”

  I raised an eyebrow at her.

  “What? I thought you’d like them.”

  I laughed and shook my head, then grabbed the bags full of gifts for the kids and another suitcase and headed inside.

  The kids were still talking to Aunt Gina, so I continued upstairs while Zoey said a quick hello then followed me. I stashed the bags with gifts in my closet and carried the other suitcase to Zoey’s room.

  “It’s smaller than I remember,” she said, staring at the room.

  “It’s been a long time since we were here.”

  “Too long,” Zoey said. The sadness in her eyes told me she was wondering the same things I’d been wondering. Why didn’t we come back sooner.

  “We’re here now,” I told her.

  She looked around. “One last hurrah. It’s hard to believe we’ll never see this place again.”

  “We can always come back and visit.”

  She shook her head. “You and I both know we won’t. Unless Piper is going to keep you around.”

  I laughed at her raised eyebrow and shook my head. “Piper and I are good together, but we’re not permanent. We both know that.”

  “If you say so. I didn’t have Trevor to a holiday with the family until we were engaged.”

  “Aunt Gina invited her.”

  “And?”

  “You’re such a brat.”

  “Always will be.” She sighed. “We should probably go relieve Aunt Gina. Alexis and Cameron have likely made her crazy by now.”

  “No, she was already crazy. Why don’t you take a few minutes to yourself. Unpack or lay down or take a shower. I’ll take the kids outside to play in the snow and stuff them full of cookies before dinner.”

  She glared at me. I smiled back like I was innocent. She breathed a laugh and nodded. “That would be great. They really missed you.”

  I nodded. “I missed all of you, too.”

  She smiled. I left her room, pulling the door closed behind me as I went. The kids were still downstairs telling Aunt Gina about the drive when I made it back. I grabbed Cam and tossed him over my shoulder when he wasn’t looking then stomped around the room.

  “I have a trophy. I’m going to go throw my trophy in the snow!”

  Cam shouted and started kicking me. Alexis cheered and chased after us.

  “No, Uncle Gavin, don’t!” Cameron yelled as I carried him outside and off the porch. “Don’t throw me in the snow.”

  I would have set him down if he wasn’t laughing so hard. I found a good pile of snow and pretended to throw him and lose my balance so we both went down together. I landed on my back, cradling him so he didn’t get hurt.

  He laughed, falling over onto me. Alexis came over and jumped on top of us. I hugged them to me, enjoying being with them for a minute until they started wiggling and were gone again.

  “You fell, Uncle Gavin,” Cameron shouted. “You ended up in the snow, too.”

  “I did,” I said. “I don’t know how that happened. Some magical stuff that made me fall in the snow when I was trying to throw you in the snow. Did you trip me?”

  “How could I have tripped you? I was on top of you!” Cam said.

  I rubbed my chin. Then I turned on Alexis. “Was it you? Did you trip me? I’ll get you for that.”

  She squealed and took off running. I ran after her, with Cameron on my heels. Alexis giggled as she zig-zagged across the yard. She wasn’t watching where she was going and ended up running right into Sebastian.

  She bounced off his legs and fell on her butt in the snow. She looked up at him, her eyes widening as she tilted her head farther and farther back to see what it was that stopped her.

  “You’re enormous,” she whispered. “I’ve never seen anyone as big as you.”

  “And you need to watch where you’re going,” Sebastian said gruffly.

  I caught up to them and nodded at him. Alexis was heading straight for the water when Sebastian stepped in her way to block her. “Thanks.”

  He nodded.

  “Alexis, you could have run into the water. You need to watch where you’re going.”

  “I’m sorry, Uncle Gavin.”

  Sebastian’s brows went up. “Uncle Gavin?”

  I nodded again, watching as he looked at the kids and put the pieces together. He glanced up at the house, then toward the driveway. He nodded once then sidestepped Alexis. “Try to be careful.”

  She nodded and watched him walk away from her backside.

  I wanted to apologize to him or say something that would make it okay, but there really was nothing to say. He was going to have a shitty Christmas because Zoey was here. Even though he knew she was coming, running into her daughter was not likely in his plans. Especially not within the first hour they arrived.

  Alexis and Cameron ran around the yard and threw poorly packed snowballs at each other. They laughed and played and acted like kids do. They didn’t have enough of that in their lives anymore, so it was good for them.

  It was good for me, too. I adored them, and spending time with the kids was always fun.

  When Cameron said he was hungry, and Alexis said she was cold, we headed back inside. Aunt Gina’s entryway was all tile, so we stripped out of wet shoes and clothes there before running barefoot to the kitchen. Aunt Gina already had hot chocolate on the stove and cookies on plates for the kids.

  “I figured you would be hungry when you got inside. You and Zoey always wanted a snack when you came in from running around.” She focused on the kids. “Your mom told me you two like cookies and hot chocolate. Is this an okay snack?”

  They nodded and dove in like wild animals who hadn’t been fed in weeks. I snagged a cookie off the big plate and accepted the mug Aunt Gina handed me.

  “Is Zoey okay?”

  I nodded. “I told her to take a break. It’s a long drive, and it’s been a long year for her. I’ll handle the kids for a while. Do you need to get up to the Inn?”

  Aunt Gina nodded. “I do, if that’s okay.”

  “Of course. We’re not here to intrude on your day-to-day. I’m good with them. Do you need any help at the Inn?”

  She shook her head. “Sebastian is already up there. He can help me out.”

  I nodded. “He knows.”

  She met my gaze and nodded. “I wish things were different.”

  “Me, too.”

  Aunt Gina patted my hand and headed out. The front door closed softly, and the kids finished their cookies.

  “Can we watch TV?”

  I nodded. “Absolutely. Let’s go see what we can find.”

  I spent the rest of the afternoon playing board games, watching movies, and chasing the kids around outside. I laughed with them and felt good. They were my home. Pittsburgh was my home because they were there. I’d missed them.

  Just before dinner time, Zoey asked me what the plan was for the night.

  “Aunt Gina has everything up at the Inn. We’ll eat up there with the guests and come back here for the night. She’ll be up early tomorrow to start fixing breakfast and lunch for everyone. She doesn’t cook down here much.”

  “Do we have to eat up there? I’m not sure it’s a good idea.”

  “It’s fine. Everything will be fine.” I hoped.

  We got the kids bundled up again and zipped up our coats for the walk to the Inn. It wasn’t far, but with two kids who weren’t likely to stay on the path, we needed all the layers we could get. The walk home would be worse since it would be dark by the time we went back to the house.

  We walked in the back door, and immediately, the kids tried to drop their coats on the floor. Zoey grabbed both of them. “We talked about this. You need to hang coats up and put your boots on a tray. Throwing things everywhere isn’t acceptable.”

  They nodded and hung their coats on the lower hooks then set their boots on the tray. Then they took off.

  “Stop! Guys!” Zoey took off after them.

  I knew they wouldn’t bother Aunt Gina, but Zoey didn’t want them bothering any of the guests either.

  I checked in on Aunt Gina and asked if she needed anything. She told me to take the broccoli salad to the buffet and that she’d be right behind me.

  I set the bowl down and went looking for Zoey and the kids. I found them in the sitting room… with Sebastian.

  Alexis was hanging on Sebastian’s leg like he was her new favorite toy. Cameron was staring up at him like he was trying to figure out what to do. And Zoey was trying to get Alexis to let go of him.

  Sebastian… well, he looked like he’d rather be anywhere but right there. I wasn’t sure if he was going to yell or burst into tears. Maybe both, even though I’d never seen him do either.

  “What’s going on in here?” I asked, drawing everyone’s attention to me.

  “Alexis wants to sit with him, but he said he’s not staying for dinner,” Cameron explained to me.

  “Please,” Alexis said in her best whimper. She looked up at Sebastian with puppy dog eyes that I’d never been able to resist.

  “Why don’t you let go of Sebastian’s leg,” I told her. “And if he has other plans tonight, maybe you can ask if you can sit with him at another meal.”

  “I won’t be here for a while. I have work to do.”

  “You’re not going to be here for Christmas?” Zoey asked.

  Sebastian glared at her. “No.”

  “I want you to sit with me,” Alexis pouted. “Why don’t you like me?”

  “I don’t know you, kid,” Sebastian said.

  She stuck out her hand and glared at him until he engulfed it in his. She pumped her arm and said, “It’s nice to meet you. I’m Alexis Conrad. I was born on February seventeenth. My favorite color is pink. I like unicorns and chocolate and riding my bike in the summer. My mommy reads me books every night because I don’t know how to read good. My daddy doesn’t live with us anymore, but that’s okay.”

  When she was done speaking, she looked up at Sebastian like she expected him to introduce himself. He glanced at me, and I just shrugged. I didn’t know what to make of her either.

  Sebastian sighed and crouched down in front of her. He looked like a giant next to Alexis, but she just stood there and waited for him to speak.

  “I’m Sebastian Parks. I have always lived in MacKellar Cove. I run the lighthouse outside the Inn. I live alone in the cottage next door. I like to be alone.”

  “Do you know how to read?” Alexis asked.

  Sebastian looked at her like she was nuts. “Um, yes.”

  “Will you read me a story?”

  “Now?”

  Alexis laughed. “No, not now, silly. Before I go to sleep.”

  “No. I don’t live in that house.”

  “But you live alone so you should come stay with us. Mommy says no one should be alone on Christmas.”

  “Yeah, well, I’m alone all the time. Ask your mommy about that.” Sebastian stood and walked out of the Inn, leaving Alexis to stare after him.

  “Why did he leave?”

  “He’s busy, honey,” I told her. “Sebastian has a very important job to do. I’m sure you’ll see him again.”

  “I hope so. He’s nice,” Alexis said.

  “I’m hungry,” Cameron announced.

 

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