Fury, p.2
Fury, page 2
Stacey put her hand on Emily’s shoulder and gently shook her, calling her name. “Emily. We’re home. Wake up.”
Emily stretched and blinked her eyes open. “Hey.” She rolled her neck and winced, rubbing the kink.
“Why aren’t you on the couch? That would have been more comfortable.”
Emily shrugged. “Joey wouldn’t let me sit there.”
“What? Why not?”
Emily nibbled her lip. Her gaze flickered between Stacey and Wray, then settled on her hands. “He said it was his daddy’s bed, and I wasn’t allowed to sleep there or sit there.”
“He… What?” Stacey gasped. She thought they were hiding Wray sleeping on the couch from the boys. She thought they had no idea.
“Why don’t I walk you home?” Wray suggested to the silent room. It was their normal. Stacey checked on the boys and Wray walked Emily home and paid her. But nothing felt normal with that bombshell.
“Um, yeah. Thanks,” Emily said. She uncurled herself from the chair and gave Stacey a red-cheeked smile, then ducked her head and grabbed her shoes.
“I’ll be back in a minute,” Wray said, although Stacey thought it was more for Emily’s benefit than hers.
“Okay.”
The door closed behind them, and Stacey sank to the chair. Joey knew. And if Joey knew, then fixing things before the kids found out anything wasn’t an option. He already knew.
After a minute, Stacey forced herself to get up. She didn’t want to be sitting there when Wray got home. She wanted to be upstairs, in her room, hidden from her husband.
She checked in on the boys and kissed both their cheeks. She hurried to her room and changed into pajamas. She flushed the toilet just as the camera at the front door alerted her to Wray’s return. Stacey rushed to bed and jumped under the covers, turning away from the door and pretending to be asleep.
Wray came in a few minutes later. He called her name quietly, but she didn’t move. He sighed heavily, then opened and closed a drawer before closing himself in the bathroom. Stacey didn’t move until after he was out of the bathroom and his soft footsteps padded down the stairs.
She’d decide what to do tomorrow.
2
Stacey woke up the next morning with no more answers than she had the night before. Shielding her kids from what was going on between her and Wray was always her top priority, but if they knew, was she really doing the best thing for them?
She asked herself the same question as she made her way downstairs. The living room looked the same as it always did. No sign of Wray having slept on the couch. The house was quiet, the boys still sleeping, which left Stacey wondering where Wray was.
His sneakers were gone, but his truck was still parked in the driveway. She walked through the downstairs, finding a full pot of coffee and no other sign Wray had been up.
The thump of feet hitting the floor above her head sent Stacey into mommy mode. She listened for the footsteps to lead to the bathroom, then the toilet flushed and the footsteps moved toward the stairs. A minute later, Joey shuffled into the kitchen.
“Good morning,” Stacey said. She hugged him as he sat at the table.
“Morning.”
“Are you hungry?”
He shrugged. He wasn’t a morning person and usually took a little while to wake up enough to eat or talk.
“Want to watch TV for a few minutes?”
“Is Daddy gone?”
“I think he went out for a run. I’m sure he’ll be back soon.”
“But you don’t know?”
“His truck is here. Daddy runs a lot.”
Joey grumbled something and padded back to the living room.
Stacey leaned against the table and tried to make sense of what was happening with her family. She stayed with Wray to keep her family together, but the tension between them was still hurting everyone.
Evan was up not long after Joey and joined his brother in front of the TV. Stacey fixed herself a cup of coffee and sat down just as Wray came in the front door, dripping with sweat.
“Morning, everyone,” Wray said, smiling at the boys and avoiding Stacey’s gaze.
“Hi, Daddy!” the boys said immediately. They jumped up but stopped when they got a few feet away from him. “Ew. You’re stinky.”
Wray lifted his arms above his head and stomped toward them. “I’m going to make you stinky.”
“Ew! No! Gross!” Evan screamed. He ran back to the couch and hid under a throw pillow.
Joey laughed and backed up, keeping his distance, too.
Wray stopped before he stepped onto the carpet. “I’m going to run up and shower. Then how about we go play outside, boys? Let Mommy have some time to herself this morning.”
“Yeah!” they shouted.
“All right. I’ll be back soon. Think about what you want to do. Braden might come over, too.”
The boys cheered. Wray took the steps two at a time. A minute later, the shower turned on.
“Do you boys want breakfast before you go outside?” Stacey asked them.
“Pancakes!” Joey shouted.
“Yeah, pancakes,” Evan agreed.
Stacey sighed. Guess she was making pancakes. And had time to herself to figure out what she wanted to do about her marriage.
Wray stared at the back of the house and wondered what Stacey was doing inside. He wanted to talk to her, but he knew she wasn’t open to talking. Not after what Emily told them the night before.
Wray failed all of them. He wanted to fix it, but no matter what he tried, he kept making things worse.
“You all right?” Braden asked.
Wray shrugged and pulled his attention from the house to the backyard. The boys were chasing each other, screaming and laughing. Braden was standing next to Wray and watching with him.
“I’ve been better.”
“What’s going on?”
“Just waiting for my wife to tell me she’s done trying.”
“You think she’s going to?”
Wray didn’t want to say the words out loud. He didn’t want to believe it could be true, but it was hard to imagine any alternative. It was even harder to admit it.
“I don’t know. Maybe just being paranoid.”
“Yeah, probably. She seemed fine when I got here.”
Wray nodded, but he knew that was only because Stacey didn’t like airing their dirty laundry. She believed family stuff should stay in the family. Her parents’ divorce became a spectacle for the entire town when she was a kid, and she always said no one else needed to know that much about what goes on inside a family.
Joey ran over and plowed straight into Braden, looking up at him with a smile. “Are you going to play?”
Braden snarled back and started chasing him around like a wild animal out for a hunt.
Joey and Evan screamed and ran from Braden. Evan ran for Wray and hid behind his legs when Braden turned his way. “Help, Daddy.”
“Daddy? There’s no Daddy here,” Wray said, turning to attack his youngest.
Evan squealed and took off. Wray chased him, the four of them laughing and running around the yard.
After that game, they climbed in and out of the playhouse, then the boys drew pictures on the patio with chalk. The afternoon went quickly, and before he knew it, Stacey was calling the four of them in for dinner.
“Are you staying, Braden? We have plenty,” she asked with a welcoming smile.
“Yeah, that would be great. Thanks, Stace.”
She nodded and pressed her lips into a smile that never met her eyes. Wray watched her, seeing the tension in her shoulders and the strain on her face. She didn’t meet his gaze.
Wray helped the boys get plates of food and carried them to the table. Braden went after them. Wray turned to get his own plate and found Stacey smiling at something Braden said. Wray walked over and picked up the last plate, taking his place in their short line behind Stacey.
She looked up at him like she didn’t expect to see him there. She pulled her gaze away, then set her plate back down and mumbled something about forgetting to do something and left the kitchen.
Braden looked at Wray, but all he could do was shrug. Any time he was close to her, she bolted. He’d almost gotten used to it.
The five of them ate dinner with the boys carrying the bulk of the conversation. Stacey barely said a word. She stared at her plate and ate her food, then shooed them all out of the kitchen so she could clean up.
Wray hated the distance between them. With the boys occupied for a minute and Braden there to keep them distracted, Wray went back to the kitchen to offer to help clean up.
Stacey was at the sink scrubbing the pan she cooked dinner in.
“Can I do anything?” Wray asked.
She jumped, dropping the pan in the sink and splashing soapy water all over herself and the counter. She turned to glare at him and shook her head. “No. You’ve done enough, Wray.”
“Stacey…”
“No, Wray. I am not going to talk about this now. Not when Braden is in the house and the boys are in the next room,” she hissed.
Wray nodded slowly. All he wanted to do was be there for his wife. To show her he was sorry. She clearly had different plans.
Stacey glared at her husband’s sleeping form. After the restless night of sleep she had it pissed her off to see him sleeping soundly. She wanted to kick the couch and wake him up. To dump a bucket of ice water on him. To—
“Just say it, Stace,” he said, his voice thick with regret and acceptance.
She should have known he was awake. The man was a constant surprise. Like when he gambled away their entire savings account, nearly lost their house, and almost got himself killed in the process.
Not all surprises were the good kind.
“We need to talk.” The words scratched out of her throat like glass shards, taking pieces of her with each word. She hated that she had to be the one to say it. That she had to be the bad guy. But he was forcing her into it.
He opened his eyes and avoided her gaze. He wasn’t the man she once knew. The man she thought she knew. He’d changed. He was broken, damaged, wounded. He was not the protector she fell in love with. Her husband was gone. The man in front of her was a shell.
He sat up on the couch and faced the living room. The muscles of his back bunched and teased Stacey as she watched him. Her mouth still went dry at the sight of him, his shorts low on his hips. The smooth line of his spine was one she’d spent many nights licking. His shoulders had showcased wounds from her teeth. She loved him with every last fiber of her being, and she still wanted him, but the most important thing in the world, the thing that kept them together for almost a third of their lives, was gone.
Trust.
He stood and faced her, his bare chest capturing her attention. The dips and peaks of his upper body tantalized her. Shadows accentuated the efforts he took with his strength. He knew it was a weakness for her. He knew she always felt like she wasn’t a good fit for him. She was all plush curves to his angled lines. They didn’t match, but he said they did. She believed him. And when he lifted her over his shoulder in a fireman’s hold on their wedding night and carried her up and over the threshold and up the stairs to their bedroom where he spent the entire night worshipping her body, she couldn’t ever argue again.
He grabbed the shirt he discarded after Stacey went upstairs the night before and pulled it over his head. He was doing it for her. Hiding the mouth-watering sight of his body so she could think straight and say what she needed to say.
Even at the end, he was watching out for her.
“I think you should move out.”
He met her eyes for the first time that day. The pain and regret in his was almost enough for her to second guess her decision. She still loved him. She wanted to fix what had happened. But she had no idea how they could get back to before.
Before he betrayed her.
Before he betrayed his best friend.
Before he betrayed himself.
Finally, Wray nodded. “Okay. When do you want me gone?”
Stacey wasn’t sure what to expect, but easy acceptance wasn’t it. “I don’t know. I didn’t really have a date in mind.”
“Can you give me a few weeks? I need time to find a place.”
“You’re going to get a new place?” she blurted.
Wray looked up at her, anger and frustration in his gaze. “I’m not sure what else I would do. I figured that’s the best plan.”
“Oh. Um, okay.” She wasn’t sure what to say. Or what she wanted. It hurt that he was willing to just accept her choice and move on. She wanted him to fight. She wanted him to push. She wanted him to want her the way she still wanted him.
But he didn’t. He just accepted what she said. So, she had to do the same.
“I’ll get the boys up. If you’re okay with handling their morning,” she said.
“Yes. And I’ll get them to school today like we planned. We’ll figure out how we’re going to balance their schedules when I’m gone.”
Stacey nodded. She stared at the couch again, wondering if she’d burn down the entire house if she set the couch on fire. All the good memories of when they bought it and christened it the first night were gone. She only saw her husband sleeping on it…because she couldn’t stand to let him in their bed.
Wray watched Stacey walk away and had to fight himself to stop from begging her not to kick him out. He’d known it was coming, but he still hated it. When she found out the truth about his gambling, she was pissed. When she found out the full extent of it, how many times he’d lied and how much money he’d lost, she couldn’t even look at him.
He couldn’t look at himself either.
Wray hated himself for what he did to Stacey. And his best friend, Braden. And his kids and the rest of his family and friends. Not everyone knew the full story, but the few who did thought he was the lowest scum of the earth for it.
They weren’t wrong.
And that was why he couldn’t beg Stacey to change her mind. He’d been sleeping on the couch for six months. Six months since she admitted she couldn’t stand being in the same bedroom as him. Six months since she kicked him out of their bed. Six months since he held her.
He didn’t deserve her. He should be in jail. He was lucky all he lost was her respect. He assumed she would have kicked him out immediately, but she didn’t. She tried to move past what happened, but she couldn’t. It was too big for her to forgive. He knew he’d lose her eventually.
“Time’s up,” he muttered to himself as he folded up the blanket he used. He put it on the back of the couch like Stacey liked. He put his pillow in the ottoman and fluffed up the cushions so it was less obvious he’d made them his home.
Not that he was fooling Joey.
The boys came racing down the stairs, shouting for breakfast. Wray smiled. He wouldn’t have survived the last six months if it weren’t for his kids. They were everything to him, after Stacey. They were quick to forgive and forget, too.
Wray helped Joey with his cereal, holding the end of the jug while his son poured the milk into the bowl. He wanted to be a big boy. Wray tried not to think about all the things he would miss. Mornings like that where they were being silly and childish and little boys.
Stacey came into the kitchen dressed for work. She wore black pants that hugged her curves and a loose, blue blouse that floated around her then settled on her breasts. Before he messed up their lives, he would have wrapped his arms around her and nibbled on her neck and told her how beautiful she was. He always loved the way she looked in blue, how it brightened her eyes. But he couldn’t say things like that anymore. She was done with him.
Stacey said goodbye to the boys and left with only a nod for Wray. For a long time, he worried their sons would notice that things had changed between them. Until two nights ago, when Emily told them Joey refused to let her on the couch, Wray thought the boys were oblivious. They didn’t notice much of anything if it didn’t have to do with them. But Joey knew. And both boys would know everything when Wray didn’t come home.
Wray finished breakfast with the boys and hustled them upstairs. He helped both boys brush their teeth and had them in the truck and buckled into car seats on time. Stacey was not a fan of lateness, and Wray had learned not to deliver the kids late to school.
Joey was the first drop off. Wray pulled up into the loop for his school, pausing to let a family walk through the line of cars. Wray stopped when it was his turn and made sure Joey was okay getting himself out of his seat.
“Bye, Daddy. Love you!” Joey called as he pushed the door open, barely letting Wray stop the car before he was racing after his friends and running into school with them.
Wray watched him until a horn behind him told him he needed to get moving. He checked his mirror and started moving.
“I lub Miss Stephie,” Evan said on the way to his preschool.
“I know, bud,” Wray said. “She’s pretty great.”
“She give me cookie.”
“Oh, really?” Wray was pretty sure she wasn’t supposed to give the kids food that wasn’t parent approved.
“Yeah. For hers bird-day.”
“It was her birthday?” Wray clarified. Stacey had an ability to make sense of everything the kids said and anticipate what they needed. Wray never figured out the baby talk or the toddler ramblings.
“That what I said.”
“Oh, well, cool. Did you have a party for her at school?”
“Yep. Today. We bringed ice cream.”
“We did?” Wray asked. He didn’t remember Stacey mentioning ice cream, although he didn’t hear much after her telling him to move out. Maybe Evan was wrong. Stacey didn’t normally forget things. It was unlikely she would have forgotten this.
“Yes. Mommy says so.”
“Um, okay, then. If Mommy said so, then we brought ice cream.”
Wray parked and opened the back door to get Evan out of his seat. He grabbed his backpack and happily trounced across the parking lot, only held back by the hand Wray held tightly to. He signed Evan in and walked down the hallway to his classroom, saying hello to the teachers and parents he recognized.
