“I’m always involved,” I said. I started to go on but then stopped and went to the hallway, glancing out before I closed the door. I turned around and leaned against the door, crossing my arms. “You’re using magic, aren’t you?”

  “Magic is forbidden by all the werewolf packs.”

  “Which is no way answers my question.”

  He cocked his head to one side. “Right now, Josh, you have plausible deniability. If we end up in a conflict with another pack that forces us into the alpha circle, you’ll be innocent. And right now, it look like conflict is inevitable.”

  “I haven’t been innocent since eighth grade,” I told him, with a wink, even though I knew he hated to think about the kind of trouble I’d gotten into in foster care. I’d decided to become a different person before we met—but that didn’t mean that I hadn’t walked through some things first. I already knew trouble, and if someone in your family is in trouble, so are you.

  He sighed.

  “Just tell me, Callum.” If there was something we could to help Piper, I was onboard. Her absence occupied my mind 24/7—and though Callum always seemed cool and reserved, I imagined his heart beat for hers like mine did.

  He seemed to think it over, and then, when he made a decision, his eyes met mine evenly. “I think I can track down the witches who helped to bind Piper. But I need her. Her hair, at least.”

  Relief I hadn’t expected to feel eased the constant ache in my chest. Callum was as intent as I was on protecting Piper. And his plan involved more than lifting heavy things and waiting for an opportunity to pulverize anyone who came between us.

  But I didn’t say any of that. I asked, “And going through her hairbrush wasn’t creepy enough for you?”

  “Already done.” Callum ran his fingertips over her pillow and pinched something. He held up a single strand of hair to the light, and it shimmered like a thread of gold. “I needed more.”

  “I don’t know why anyone would expect us to hesitate,” I said. “If there’s a chance we can help Piper, we have to take it.”

  “Not everyone might see it that way,” he grumbled.

  “Tell me what to do and I’ll help,” I said.

  “That’s exactly what I figured you would say.” He tucked the strand of hair into a glass jar. His tone was completely matter-of-fact. “And exactly why I didn’t want you to know.”

  Given his hesitation to tell me… “You’re keeping this a secret from the others.”

  He set his jaw, glancing away. “You have no idea how suspicious the other packs are about magic. How cruel they can be. No one can ever know about this, Josh.”

  “Why?”

  “Why are the packs the way they are?” His voice sounded weary. “I don’t know. Here, we have the chance to do things differently. But Piper is getting caught up in that other pack’s business, and therefore so are we…”

  “It’s not her fault.”

  He got up and went to the fireplace, and knelt to begin building a fire for his spell. With his back to me, he blew softly on the flame to help it grow, then cupped his hand to cover it. He took so long at the fire that I thought he wasn’t going to answer me.

  “It’s not her fault,” he said, “but it’s still a problem. Her problem. Our problem, because…”

  When it was clear he wouldn’t go on, I said, “Because we love her?”

  “You see everything so black-and-white,” Callum said.

  “Some things are simple.”

  “You’re an incredible warrior,” Callum said. “I’m glad to have you by my side.”

  That…was not the response I had expected.

  “But you’re not a strategist.” He twisted away from the fire, and the words were kindly spoken no matter how dismissive they were. “You always do the right thing, Josh. Even if it’s not the smart thing.”

  “Am I supposed to feel stupid right now?” I demanded. Slow heat unspooled in my belly, and restless tension built in my arms. The desire to hurt someone. I was good at tempering it now. Better than I had been when I was young. That flare of heat and restlessness had led to a lot of nights lost in regret.

  “No.” He shook his head. “You’re very smart—smarter than I am in some ways. I didn’t mean to imply otherwise.”

  “Then why don’t we take this conversation from the top?” My voice came out soft, dangerous.

  No matter how much I loved Callum, now that I was re-acquainted with this man who was like a brother to me.

  “She was trying to stop a battle when she sacrificed herself for us,” Callum said. “It was a brave, honorable act. You are two of a kind…it’s no wonder you’re drawn to each other.”

  He slid his hand into his pocket and threw of hand full of herbs into the fire. As the fire singed them to black and a bitter scent filled the air, he went on, “But I feel there’s a war coming between the packs. Piper being with them….I don’t think she can stave off that war. I think she’s only complicating it.”

  “Have faith in her,” I said.

  “I do.” He frowned, his face worried. “I have faith in her. That’s why I’m trying to make sure she’s as strong as she can be.”

  He drew a compass out of his pocket and held it near the flames, beginning to recite in Latin. He held it so close over the acrid smoke that he winced in pain, his hand beginning to singe, but he kept on chanting without pause.

  So many spells were bound in blood and pain. Witches usually found someone else to bleed and someone else to suffer. Maybe that was why the wolves forbade them.

  “Per dolorem, ut non aliquando prosperum iter habeam, nihil hæsitans,” he chanted, and then snatched his hand back from the fire, groaning in pain as he opened the hand that held the compass, trying to throw it to the ground. For a second, the heated metal stuck to his hand, the compass suspended, and then it fell to the ground. “Kyrie elesion.”

  I wanted to know why we begged for God’s mercy at the end of our spells, but that was a question I’d find the answer to another day.

  He pressed his hand to his chest as if he could soothe the pain, his teeth gritted, but his voice was controlled when he said, “I hope it was enough.”

  “What does it do?” I crouched to look at the brass compass.

  “The fire warps it to the magic,” he said. “And the pain is payment, of course—there’s always a payment. But it should point the way toward whoever we seek… in this case, those who harmed our girl.”

  His voice hardened when he said those who harmed our girl. And it made me feel a spike of warmth. He was like an older brother to me. He had almost died to protect us when we were young, spent years searching for us, dedicated his life to research and re-uniting our pack, and then—when he found three fucked-up kids to teach and turn into a family—the real work had begun. It was impossible to question Callum’s love for us, even though I sometimes had doubts about his choices.

  But whenever I saw the glimpses of how much he loved Piper, whenever I believed that he cared for her as intensely as I did, I could feel the arc of our relationship bending to something new…something where she was our center, and we were all united as a family.

  Even if she fell in love with someone from another pack, even if Kai was being an idiot right now, I believed in that family.

  “Do you think Kai will come around?” I mused.

  “I think,” he said, wrapping a handkerchief around the compass so he could pick it up, “that no matter what Kai says, he’ll happily go with us to murder some witches and protect Piper.”

  “That doesn’t mean anything,” I scoffed. Who wouldn’t sign up for slaying some wicked witches who worked dark magic?

  Callum’s lips quirked up. “I think it does. Maybe you’re the one who needs to have faith.”

  Chapter 33

  The days went by. I was never alone during the day; Seb or Finn—or usually both of them—were always there with me. Lord help me. I did make Finn and Sebastian be quiet sometimes while I curled up to read because, as an introvert, I could not handle that much constant company.

  But, because their company was also nice, sometimes I let one of them be my pillow while I read.

  Both Logan and Arthur seemed to be too busy for us, and it bothered me. Logan gave me a smile every time he saw him, his hand skimming my back in a way that made tingles rise along my spine, but then he would move on. I was curious what it would be like if it was just him and me, but we were never alone.

  The library became the place where we hung out, lounging on the wide, pillow-covered window seat that overlooked the training yard. I was resting my head on Seb’s shoulder, feeling the warm sun on my face while I took a break from my book. My thoughts kept drifting back to the Blissford house and what was happening there. Arthur had let me call once more, to talk to Maddie and the rest of the pack. Maddie told me all about school and the pack, chattering cheerfully, but I couldn’t tell if she was just putting up a stoic front because she thought she had to. And Kai was mysteriously missing, away from the house, when I called. It was hard to focus on my book.

  Sebastian smelled like leather and spice, a warm, rich smell, and when I shifted, his arm snaked around my waist. He turned his face toward my hair, as if he was breathing in my scent too, and I smiled up at him.

  “What’s wrong?” he asked, his voice soft.

  Apparently, my smiles weren’t convincing for Seb when I didn’t mean them.

  I couldn’t help but replay Kai’s tense voice in my head, over and over again. I’d been so scared that he was going to die, and then my minute of relief after I heard his voice had been overtaken by another kind of fear. Kai was never going to forgive me. He was never going to want me again.

  Every time I recalled the hurt in his rough voice, I imagined that maybe I’d destroy the pack that I loved so much. My wayward heart seemed to be drawn in too many directions. I bit down on my lower lip, my eyes suddenly stinging. Sebastian’s eyes widened in alarm, his face almost comedic but blurry through my sudden tears.

  He sat up quickly. “What is it?” he demanded. “Just tell me, Piper. We’ll figure it out together.”

  I knew he meant it, but that didn’t matter. “There are some things where you can’t help.”

  “Try me.” He brushed my hair back from my forehead, the gesture rough and tender all at once, like he wasn’t very practiced at it. He pressed his lips against the space he’d just touched. “Maybe I’m smarter than you think.”

  “It’s not about being smart.” No matter how smart I was, for that matter, I’d never outsmart that wolf magic—or my wayward heart.

  Unless…maybe there was a spell to remove the bonds between us. Maybe I could just go back to my pack, without feeling like my heart was being torn apart. I sat forward, resting my elbow on my knee, putting a sudden separation between Sebastian and me. I could feel his curiosity, the tension in the space between us, but he waited quietly.

  “Do you happen to know if there are love spells?” I asked. “Or spells to reverse…”

  I couldn’t quite say to reverse love. The words made a flurry of images come to mind already: Arthur’s cocky, challenging look over his shoulder when he knew I was watching; Finn teasing me with that gorgeous grin plastered across his face; Logan pinning me against the wall to tell me that if he kissed me, things would change forever.

  Sebastian’s eyes widened. “No, Piper. We don’t practice magic.”

  Right, wolves only tolerated defensive magic—and barely, at that. “Why not?” I asked. “Maybe we should beat the witches at their own game.”

  Seb glanced toward the door, but the French doors to the library were closed. “Be careful what you say around here.”

  I huffed out a sigh and tucked my hair back behind my ears. I had only seen Kai at a distance when I left Blissford, and it felt like it had been too long already since I’d seen his handsome, impossibly stubborn face, with his toothpick bobbing on his lush lower lip or the way one side of his mouth curled up in a smile sometimes, even when he was trying to be sarcastic and distant. “Okay, well…speaking of things that are forbidden.”

  Sebastian quirked an eyebrow. “Yes?”

  Just to make sure no one could hear us, I leaned toward him, brushing my lips against his cheek by accident on my way to his ear. He inhaled, a quick, surprised sound, and guilt washed over me as I whispered, “I need the phone.”

  He looked to the door again. “It’s not a good idea.”

  That wasn’t a no. I bit down on my lower lip, looking at him expectantly, and he sighed and reached into his pocket. As he pressed into my hand, he said, “Promise me this will make things better, not worse.”

  I crossed my fingers and held them up between us.

  “Great,” he mumbled. “Well, I’ll be lookout.”

  He moved to the door, and I sank down out of sight beneath the windows, hiding myself between bookshelves so no one would be able to see me. I cast one last look his way, at Seb’s broad shoulders as he stood carefully near the door, and then slid back into the stacks so even he couldn’t see me. I wanted to feel like I had privacy even though I was never alone here.

  I dialed Kai’s number, my thumb moving over the keys. It was funny, most people probably wouldn’t remember the guys’ numbers by heart. But because my father used to take my phone at his every whim, I’d gotten into the habit of memorizing numbers.

  That habit was convenient now. A convenient way to get my heart broken.

  As the phone rang, my chest tightened with anxiety. I rubbed my temples with my free hand, breathing through my nose, trying to calm my racing heart.

  Kai had always made me feel light-hearted and happy before—when he wasn’t exasperating me—and this feeling was new. And agonizing.

  “Hello?” Kai’s voice was low and suspicious.

  At the same time as I felt a spike of joy at the sound of his voice, anxiety shot through me. Suddenly I didn’t know what to say. My lips parted, but I couldn’t say anything.

  “Hey?” he said impatiently. There was a pause. And then, more softly: “Piper?”

  “Yeah,” I said. “Hey. It’s me.”

  Smooth, Piper. Definitely one of my finest moments under pressure.

  “What is it?” he demanded, an edge of urgency in his voice. “Are you in trouble?”

  “No, I’m fine. I just—” I stumbled over what to say.

  “What?” This time there was no softness, no concern for me, nothing except irritation.

  The way his voice had gone soft when he said my name made me expect he had softened, that he was going to say something sweet and we were beginning to make up.

  “I just wanted to talk to you.”

  “Uh-huh.” He said it like I was an idiot.

  I flushed. I wanted to talk to him, but I hadn’t even managed to say hello when he picked up the phone. At least he couldn’t see the blush flaming across my cheeks.

  “Is that Piper?” someone asked in the background. Where was Kai? It was late afternoon, so the guys weren’t in school, if they had even gone today. Was he in the kitchen, and were they all getting ready for dinner without me? Callum and Josh might be cooking, like they often did, bickering over how much spice to add? Callum would make everything spicy if he could. Was Maddie sitting on one of the stools in the kitchen? As much as my heart hurt for Kai, imagining my little sister’s pixie face made my heart clench.

  “Is Maddie there?” I asked.

  “She’s upstairs,” Kai said. “We just got back from swimming.”

  “Oh,” I said.

  “We’re teaching her.” This was all the stuff I wanted to know, about how Maddie was doing without me, but Kai delivered these facts in a harsh monotone. “Distracting her. We’ve been swimming every day after school.”

  “Good,” I managed.

  “Keeping her worn out so she sleeps at night and doesn’t spend so much time crying,” Kai said.

  “What the hell is wrong with you?” This time, the distant voice was much nearer the phone. There were staticky sounds on the line as someone wrestled the phone away from Kai, and a thud and muttered curses.

  Then Josh came on the phone. “Hey.”

  “Hi,” I whispered, because I was afraid my voice would break if I spoke out loud.

  “Listen,” he said. “Kai will come around. He’s just a stubborn—” I heard a faint thud, as if Josh was pushing Kai, “possessive”, thud, “hard-headed”, thud, “asshole.”

  Kai must have gotten the chance to get a punch in on Josh, because there was a heavy thump like a fist burying itself in Josh’s hard abs, and Josh exhaled hard. Then there was yet another, more emphatic, thud.

  If I hadn’t been the cause of the fight, if the stakes hadn’t been so high, I would have rolled my eyes and laughed at my guys arguing the way they always did. Their fights turned physical, but they never hurt each other—much—and they always made up even faster than they healed.

  “You still there, sweetie?” Josh asked.

  “Yeah.”

  “You do what you need to do there,” he said. “We trust you, Piper.”

  “Not all of you—”

  “Don’t doubt yourself.”

  I tilted my head up, looking at the ceiling. “Thank you, Josh.”

  But he must have heard something he didn’t like in my tone, because he said, “Piper—”

  Over at the door, Sebastian whistled softly under his breath. A warning.

  “I’ve got to go,” I said. “I miss you.”

  He started to say something, but I was already hanging up. I slipped the phone into the pocket of my Northface fleece, keeping my hand on it. Why did women’s clothing leave no place to hide anything? You could see anything that was in my pockets, whether I put them in my sweater pocket or in my jeans. It made no sense. As a woman, it would have been helpful if I could carry a knife or mace or something. Women needed pockets more than men did.

  Sebastian glanced out through the doors and then closed them softly. He moved to join me.

  “False alarm,” he said as I handed him the phone, and he slid it into his pocket. “Feel any better?”

 

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