She saw me first series, p.24
She Saw Me: First Series, page 24
When the last of his release slides down my throat, I lean back, sweeping my tongue across his sensitive head a couple of times, making his body jerk. He reaches up and rips the scarf away, his eyes burning.
“You drive me to utter madness,” he cries.
“We’re not finished,” I tell him, my own body on fire.
“Damn right we aren’t,” he says.
Before I can stop him, he leaps from the table before easily lifting me and placing me on my stomach where he’d just been. He reaches down and bites me in the ass before sliding his tongue down my slit as he pushes my legs wide apart. He brings his hands below me and lifts my hips up, exposing me to him before his mouth moves lower. He pushes his tongue inside me again and again.
I’m now the one crying out as he pulls me back farther and latches his mouth onto my clit, sucking and licking until I beg for relief. He latches on and sucks until I explode in pleasure, wave after wave of release washing through my entire body.
Before the last of the waves finish, he pulls away, grabs my hips again, holding my ass a little higher . . . then he slams into me, his arousal fully intact and pulsing as he fills me.
He doesn’t move slowly. He pushes into me with enough force to move the table. He grips harder as he pulls out and then slams into me again. He does this again and again until we both scream. My body tightens as lightning zips throughout me. He plunges inside, harder than before, and I don’t hold back the scream ripping from my lips as an earth-shattering orgasm tears me wide open. He yells as he releases again, his heat filling me as we pulse together for an endless amount of time.
When the waves of pleasure finally ebb, he pulls from me, making me whimper. But he turns my body, lifts me into his arms, marches us straight into my bedroom, and into the bathroom where he starts the shower.
“My turn,” he says as he steps inside with me still in his arms.
“You had your turn,” I tell him, but I don’t try to pull away.
“I want lots of turns,” he says. He then lowers me as he pushes me against the wall and takes my lips.
He can have all the turns he wants . . . because I don’t want to run anymore. I don’t want to fight this. I want him . . . forever.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Dillan
I love Sunday afternoons at the bar. It’s normally a mellow crowd, and though I don’t pull in a ton of money, it’s a good time to clean, to take inventory, and to get prepared for another busy week. I’m finishing my order form when the door jingles. I smile as Bones walks inside in his full leathers, his hair a mess from his helmet, and a grin on his face.
“You’re much too easy to find these days,” Bones says.
“Yep, I don’t get around too much,” I agree, not even bummed about it.
Bones sits across from me. “Pepsi,” he says. “And something extra greasy.”
“Rum?” I ask. He shakes his head.
“Nope, I’m alcohol free for a few weeks. I lost a bet,” he grumbles. I laugh.
“What was the bet?” I ask as I pour him a Pepsi.
“I’m not going there. I’ll just say that I should’ve learned by now not to mess with my wife. She’s crafty,” he says, making me laugh.
I place an order on the iPad that goes straight to my kitchen, then I grab a stool and sit across from him as I pour myself a Pepsi. It’s nice being the boss as I can take a break whenever I want.
“What brings you my way again so soon?” I ask.
“I let too many years go by without seeing you. The older I get the more I recognize my mortality. I don’t want to wait too long to see the people I like, because there aren’t a heck of a lot of you out there. I only have so many years left and then it’s all gone in the blink of an eye,” Bones says.
“Dang, man, you’ve changed so much, it’s hard to comprehend.” So have I, but I’m still spinning as I try to figure out what it all means.
He grins again. “I’m not the only one. I see a new softness in you,” he says with a chuckle. I want to deny it, but there’s no doubt he’s right. My rough edges have dulled . . . all because of a certain woman and her incredible kid.
“Yeah, I might be a goner,” I admit. The kitchen buzzes and I walk to the back window before he can get too excited. My arms are full as I return back to the counter.
“That’s what I’m talking about,” Bones says as I place two large plates with double bacon cheeseburgers, fries, onion rings, and jalapeno poppers in front of us.
“I have good cooks, and this plate is called the Dillan Special,” I say, taking a bite and chewing on the greasy burger. There really is nothing as tasty as a nice fat juicy bar burger. There must be something about the grill in the back kitchen that makes it extra good.
“I’d be as big as a tank if I owned this place,” Bones says with a laugh before he dives into his own food. We’ve both always had healthy appetites, but since we work out as hard as we party, our bodies don’t see much of an impact from the massive calories we consume.
We don’t talk for a couple of minutes as we inhale our food like we’ll never eat again. This definitely goes back to my days where food was harder to come by. I never stop appreciating that I don’t starve anymore. I don’t like waste either. It bothers me how much food is wasted on a daily basis in a world where some starve. I try to remember that.
Our drinks get low, and I refill them after the burgers are polished off. I slow down to eat the munchies on the plate in front of me, making sure to slather them in homemade ranch sauce. I can’t stand that crappy jar stuff.
“So, are you ready to admit you’ve fallen?” Bones asks with a knowing grin.
I nod. “Yeah, I’m pretty sure I have,” I say with a shrug as if it’s no big deal.
“Like happily ever after fallen?” he pushes.
I cringe just a bit. “I swore I’d never think of getting married. I didn’t want to be trapped into something I couldn’t get out of.”
“Hell, that’s what divorce is for, not that I’ll ever divorce my wife, but there are outs if it all goes to shit,” Bones tells me. The words still leave a bitter taste in my mouth. I don’t like divorce and thoughts of Lexa in my head at the same time. Marriage might scare me, but divorce is more frightening.
“I don’t like going into anything looking for an exit. What’s the point of getting married if you’re planning on a divorce? I know people do it all of the time. I know the divorce rate is over fifty percent now, but I don’t want a broken home. I spent the first ten years of my life in that kind of a place, and though I’ve never wanted kids, I sure as hell don’t want kids I don’t get to see. Marriage goes hand in hand with babies and crap.”
He laughs again. “Yeah, I didn’t want kids either, however my child is the light of my world. Hell, we’ll eventually butt heads, and it won’t always be smooth sailing, but right now I can’t imagine a time I’ll fight with my daughter. My damn world revolves around Maggie and our baby.” The love and pride in his eyes tells me how true his words are. He loves his family.
“Lexa has a fifteen-year-old son . . . and I really like him. It might be hard on him if his mother marries and has another baby or two,” I say.
“It won’t be hard if you don’t push him out,” Bones says.
“I wouldn’t think of doing that. They’re a package deal. If I’m being honest, I thought more than once that we can make it through this hard life together, it might make things easier having each other to lean on. I like this woman. I think about her all of the time, and the thought of her not here kills me. I’m not sure how it happened, but I hate even going a few hours without seeing her.”
“Yep, that’s what happened to me as well. I’m happy for you, brother. I really am. We’ve had hard lives, but it only gets better from here. We either choose to be alone, drinking ourselves to sleep on Christmas Eve, or we choose to have a family, a reason for getting up in the morning. Being alone might be nice sometimes, but it’s empty. I made choices in my life and I’m okay with them, but now I’m part of something so much bigger . . . and I’m damn glad I am.”
“Yeah,” I say, still not sure about all of this.
He laughs again, his plate clean. “I thought when I came in last time this would be it for you. Coming to Ravish was the smart thing to do. It seems we’re both respectable members of society now,” he says with a laugh. I look at him, then at my own tee and jeans. We don’t exactly look like typical high society gentlemen.
“It’s guys like us who shape this country, not those bozos in suits who don’t know their ass from a hole in the ground,” he says, seeming to have read my mind.
Before I add to that, the door chimes again, and I look up. Emmy’s on the floor today so I don’t need to help with customers, but it’s such an ingrained habit for me, I can’t help but look at who enters my bar.
The man turns, and his gaze latches onto mine . . . and I inhale a sharp breath. There’s no way, my mind tells me. It’s not possible. But even as I think this, the man smiles as he moves my way, his gaze boring a hole into me.
It’s been twenty-one years, but I’d recognize those eyes anywhere. His face has aged and his body’s bigger, but it’s him. I have no doubt at all that it’s him . . . Jackson. But how?
“Hey, Dillan,” he says as if twenty-one years haven’t passed since I saw him last. There’s a boyish sparkle in his eyes that I remember so well. Bones turns and stares at the man as well.
“Jackson?” I say, my voice low, disbelief apparent in my voice.
“The one and only,” he says as he plops himself down on the stool beside Bones. “Care to offer a drink to an old friend?”
I’m in shock. “How?” I ask out loud this time, not moving.
Jackson laughs as if this is amusing. Maybe he’s known about me for a while so there’s no shock factor for him. I want to reach out and touch him to make sure he’s real. I gave in long ago that he was gone, just as Bobby, Brit, and Marcus are too. But if Jackson’s here, is there a chance the others survived as well?
“I got away,” he says with a shrug, pulling me right back to the tender age of fourteen when I thought I’d lost everyone . . . not just thought. I did lose them all. I woke up alone, then stayed in our little cave alone for a month. They were gone, all of them. How am I seeing Jackson now? I have so many questions but I can’t find my voice.
I finally get up and move from behind the bar, slowly walking. Jackson stands, and then we both move a bit quicker and give each other a hard hug. We’re both big, the hug feeling nothing like the ones we gave twenty-one years ago. This is so surreal, I’m at a loss for words. We pull back and that gleam in his eyes that always drew our group together is still there.
“You’re Jackson from New York,” Bones says with a big smile. “I’m Bones, who came in several years later. I’ve heard all about your adventures together. Dillan never stopped talking about his band of brothers and sister.”
I’m glad Bones is here to help ease whatever it is I’m feeling. My past and present have been brought together and no force is strong enough to stop it. I’m shocked.
“That I am,” Jackson says. He once again sits, and I go back around the bar.
“What do you want to drink? Are you hungry?”
“I’ll take a Sprite and I’m always hungry,” he says with a laugh. “I guess no matter what happens those scars from the past will always haunt us in one way or another.” He shrugs as if it’s no big deal to admit to a weakness. I tried for so long not to let my scars show, and here he is not at all afraid. Maybe I’m starting to realize these scars are what have made me into the person I am today. Maybe these scars have molded me. Instead of letting them hold me back, maybe it’s time for them to make me soar.
I pour his drink then put in another order to the kitchen. Dessert for Bones and me, and a full meal for Jackson. Damn, it’s good to simply look at his face.
“Do you know what happened?” I ask. I’m nervous. It’s been twenty-one years, but I’ve never given up on finding the answers to what happened to my family.
Jackson shakes his head as a glaze of sadness washes over his features. “I found out,” he says. I’m filled with both relief and fear. I need these answers but sometimes ignorance is bliss.
“I woke up in the hospital a few days after the attack.” I stop him, fury filling me.
“I stayed for a month. Why didn’t you come back?” I demand. We could’ve taken the next step of our journey together had he simply returned to me. I clench my fists on top of the bar as I wait for him to go on.
“I had amnesia. I didn’t know who I was or what happened. The cops came in and questioned me for hours, but I didn’t know anything, didn’t know who I was, who any of you were, didn’t know about the attack. My mind was completely blank. It was seriously freaky, but somewhat great too. I had six broken bones and they put twenty stiches in my head, but I didn’t feel any internal pain, only physical trauma. I had no idea at the time how lucky that was for me.”
“It wasn’t lucky for me. I woke up in the alley and all of you were gone,” I tell him. “I made my way back to our place and waited and waited.”
“I know. It was two months before my memory finally came back. The first thing I did was head to the cave. I found the money and the note. I was angry, not at you, but at those bastards who attacked us.”
“What happened to Brit, Bobby, and Marcus?” I ask, needing to know.
He shakes his head again. “They were all dead at the scene. The gang thought they’d gotten all of us, but they got spooked and had to run before they could make sure you and I were dead. They ran. I was alert enough to see someone pull you away. I couldn’t move though. They’d shattered my knee. I passed out and was blank for two months.”
“I’m sorry,” I tell him, hating myself a bit that I’d immediately jumped to the wrong conclusion. With the way we grew up, it’s natural to believe the worst in someone. It’s a pattern I worked on breaking for a long time.
“I survived, and it was twenty-one years ago. I planned on trying to find you, but I was filled with revenge; I had to find those bastards first, had to make them pay. They took the lives of my brothers and sister, and they ripped you away from me too. Nothing was going to stop me from hunting them down.”
There’s anger in his eyes, but it’s not rage like we used to carry. Maybe it’s true that time eventually heals all wounds. Sure, there might be scars in their place, but a person can only hang on to anger for so long before it consumes their soul.
“Did you find them?” I ask, not sure if I want to know. Hell, I guess I’m just as much of a mess these days as I was back then. I’m able to hide it a lot better these days . . . for the most part.
“I stayed in New York for a year, got the shit kicked out of me often, but I eventually tracked them down . . . in the cemetery. They were killed within a few months of attacking us. That’s how gang life goes. It’s a dog eat dog world; one bully is consumed by a bigger bully. It was odd, because I was so angry for so long, and then I found one of the kids’ grave. Only one of them was buried. There was a plaque on it that said, I hope you’ve finally found peace. It made me realize that we’re all lost. I’m not giving anyone an out. We choose who we want to be, and we choose whether to bring the bad of one generation into the next, but we all start out as these innocent babies and somehow, somewhere, we become corrupted. I don’t know if it’s people messing with our heads, if it’s the monsters in power wanting to keep control over our lives, or maybe it’s a really dark force whispering in our ears, but I know we are born perfect, and once our innocence is stolen from us, we might be lost forever. This kid, one out of six kids, was mourned for his death. He was loved at one time. Now his legacy is his evil acts. It changed my entire thinking. I decided I had to get my life together so no one would think of me as evil.”
He goes silent and Bones and I gaze at him with our own demons battling to overtake us. I’ve had a lot of hate in my heart for a lot of years. Is it truly as easy as refusing to let that consume me from here on out? Maybe it is.
“What did you do next?” I ask, my voice subdued.
“I found a program that helps misplaced teens. I went to a shelter, had people help me get my high school diploma, then went to a trade school.”
“You went to school?” I ask, shocked. Jackson had never been interested in learning. He’s such a far cry from the young boy I knew, I’m surprised. He laughs as the kitchen announces his food is ready. I get his plate and our desserts and take them to the bar. Just like Bones and me, he dives right into his food. No matter how much we might grow, we’re always going to be those lost boys on the inside, even if we push them to the farthest reaches of our souls.
“Yep, I’m an electrician. I’ve worked my ass off for the past twenty years. I have my own business in Montana. I make damn good money,” he says. “I have a hefty savings account, even with the damn taxes they take from me. When I got my very first paycheck I was in shock. I still am to this day. How in the hell can anyone be okay with some idiot feds taking so much of the money we labor for. It almost made me want to be a thief again. It’s so ridiculous they take our money, then give it to stupid shit like building a bridge to look at birds. I give money to youth programs all of the time. I’m all for that, I’m also for helping the elderly and disabled. I’m not okay building idiot bridges or paying for useless federal positions. That’s an entirely different matter though,” he says before biting into his burger.
“I’m with you brother, and I had the same reaction when it first happened to me. I sometimes miss the days of stealing where I got to keep everything I found,” I say with a chuckle. “Taxes are legal theft. Some idiots in Washington who don’t give a shit about us take and take, and we’re supposed to thank them. Last time I checked, the people we stole from didn’t thank us, so I don’t see why we should thank a useless fed for stealing from us.”
“Because it’s just the way it’s always been so we’re too brainwashed to fight back against it,” I say.
