Out of perfection, p.1
Out of Perfection, page 1
Out of
Perfection
Miranda Dietz
Copyright © 2022 Miranda Dietz
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form on by an electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without permission in writing from the publisher, except by a reviewer who may quote brief passages in a review.
First Edition
Contents
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Acknowledgements
Dedication
To Ruby, you weren’t just a dog, you were the cure to my broken heart.
I wouldn’t have been able to write this without you by my side.
I miss you every day, but now you will live on forever, as Estula, on these pages.
Chapter One
Yvain woke up just seconds before his alarm went off, giving him no time to consider going back to sleep. His little puppy, Estula, who had been nestled under his arm, raised her head and looked towards the window. Yvain rolled over and pushed the faded gray curtain aside, looking through the glass at the woods behind his cabin. He hoped that the morning sky would give him a hint at the weather, but as winter had only just turned to spring, it was more difficult to guess. It could be scorching by noon, or it could be cold enough for snow to fall. This unpredictability was making his profession as a farmer much more difficult. The more experienced farmers in the area would say that they could feel the weather in their bones, but Yvain only felt sore from the manual labor that he was adjusting to after merely one year on the farm. His hands were still soft in some places, and although his muscles had strengthened, he was nowhere near as strong as he needed to be.
Estula sat at the edge of the bed with her paws outstretched and her tail in the air but was too afraid to jump down, since the distance to the floor seemed so great in comparison to her small frame. Yvain picked her up gently with one hand and placed her on the ground. He watched as she hopped clumsily towards the front door.
It had been a little over a month since Yvain had found Estula. The small dog had managed to dig her way under a fence with the intention of catching a chicken, but as she approached them, she realized that they were much larger than she was. She wasn’t able to find her way out and proceeded to hide under the chicken coop, yelping and crying, until she was rescued by the farmer. Estula was the smallest dog he had ever seen, a black-and-white spaniel, no more than a few months old. He had no idea where the puppy had come from and was sure to ask around town to see if he could find the owner. In the end, Yvain decided to keep the little creature. Just about everything she did made him laugh, and he was enjoying the company after spending so much time alone.
The farm was situated on the outskirts of a town called Frozen Lake, which was much smaller than the city Yvain had come from. There was a library, a tavern, and a few shops in the center of town, but Yvain didn’t spend much time there. Sometimes he would make an appearance at a festival, but he always felt out-of-place. The townspeople were overly interested in him. This was only natural, as most of the citizens of Frozen Lake were born and raised there. They were self-sufficient and not used to outsiders. Whenever Yvain showed his face in town, he would end up being interrogated by various people. Everyone wanted to know where he was from, who his family was, etc. Yvain would give vague answers and slowly sneak away before revealing any real details. Most people would interpret his behavior as shyness, but he simply wanted to leave his past in the past, and had traveled to Frozen Lake for a fresh start.
“I think it’s going to rain today.” Yvain spoke in French, his native language, to Estula, who gazed up at him with wide eyes, hanging on his every word and hoping that it was about food. “It’s been raining a lot this week. I’m not sure if it’s been good or bad for the plants.”
Yvain opened the door for Estula, and she sleepily headed outside to lie in the wet grass. Yvain closed the door and returned to his bedroom, where he got dressed. He put on a muddy pair of jeans that he had been wearing all week, a long-sleeved shirt, and a t-shirt over that. Then, he went back to the front door, where he took his brown jacket and baseball hat off the coat rack and stepped into his work boots. He caught a glimpse of his reflection in the door’s window as he opened it. His brown eyes were swollen from lack of sleep, and his brown hair and beard were unruly and overgrown. He didn’t care much about how he looked, but he still thought that he might make a trip to the barber later that week and make a point of going to sleep earlier that night.
Upon leaving the cabin, Yvain headed towards the barn, and Estula trailed behind him. He had only two cows, which were getting old but still produced milk. Estula loved the cows, and Yvain wondered if she perhaps thought she was one of them because of her coloring. He laughed at the thought and sat on a stool to begin milking. Estula darted in and out of the cows’ legs. They didn’t seem to mind, but Yvain still chastised her, worried that she would get stepped on someday.
After the fresh milk had been stored, Yvain made his way towards the chicken coop, blocking Estula with his basket as he entered. While Yvain collected the eggs, it started to rain, and the drops thumped on the metal roof. The damp air made him feel even more sluggish than he already was, but he pushed on for several hours. He sheared the sheep, fed the pigs, and tended his crops as best as he could. He spent some extra time with his horse, feeding her by hand, knowing that the weather would make her anxious. By late afternoon, he had finished his work, soaking wet and covered in fresh mud.
As he headed towards the shed to put his tools away, he could see Marie in the distance, getting closer every second. Yvain waved to her, and she waved back, quickening her pace.
The single women in town were obsessed with Yvain and made many attempts to flirt with him, but it usually went over his head. He always seemed busy and had plenty of excuses whenever one of them tried to invite him out. After a year of trying, most of them had given up, but Marie persisted. The other girls wondered why Yvain had chosen Marie to be his friend, but he didn’t choose her at all. She simply implanted herself into his life, coming to his farm every day around the same time, carrying a basket full of sandwiches and fresh cake or pie. At first, Yvain had no interest in the girl, but after a while he looked forward to her visits and was disappointed on days that she didn’t come. He hadn’t been sure that she would make the trip in the rain, but there she was in a clear raincoat, revealing the mint green dress underneath and a pink umbrella resting on her shoulder.
Marie was a few years younger than Yvain and had grown up in Frozen Lake. She lived about a mile down the road on another farm with her parents, her six brothers, three of her brothers’ wives, and nine nieces and nephews. It was so crowded that she spent as little time there as she possibly could. She worked as a tailor in town and would bring Yvain lunch on her way to work. She was petite, with long orange hair, which she wore in two braids. Her freckles highlighted her high cheekbones and green eyes. She wasn’t considered to be the prettiest girl in town, but Yvain thought that Marie was quite beautiful. She definitely had the best smile, and she smiled often.
“What a day,” she said with a sigh. “April showers and all that.”
Yvain said nothing and cocked his head to the side, unfamiliar with the phrase “April showers bring May flowers.” He looked confused and frowned slightly, which made Marie nervous.
“Well.” Marie cleared her throat. “I have turkey sandwiches, with fresh lettuce and tomatoes. I made red velvet cake too, since you told me you’ve never tried it. Would you like to have lunch with me now? Or did the rain prevent you from getting your work done?”
“No—yes,” Yvain stammered. “I’m finished working, go ahead inside. I’ll go get Estula.”
Marie let herself into the cabin and set her basket down on the kitchen counter. There was a small wooden table in the kitchen with only two chairs. She spotted an empty glass and a red envelope on its surface. Marie placed the glass in the sink and picked up the red envelope, which was addressed to Yvain. There didn’t appear to be a return address, and Marie’s curiosity took hold of her. She took a peek at the letter inside; it was handwritten on white lined paper, but it was in French, so she couldn’t read it. She stuffed the letter back into the envelope and tossed it on the counter. Once the table was clear, she covered it with a white tablecloth that she had brought with her. She set the table and unpacked her basket.
Yvain came in from the rain with Estula tucked under his arm. The puppy, filthy from rolling in mud puddles, was trying to wiggle out of his grasp. Yvain placed the small dog in the sink and began rinsing the mud out of her fur with warm water.
“Marie, could you grab me a towel out of that closet?” Yvain asked, pointing with one hand and holding Estula in place with the other. Marie nodded and fetched a clean towel, noting that Yvain had not folded any of his towels properly and none of them matched. She handed the towel to Yvain, who wrapped Estula up in it and held the bundle close to his chest.
“I’m pretty dirty myself. Would you mind if I took a quick shower before we ate?” Yvain asked. He rubbed Estula with the towel before releasing her onto the floor and laying the towe
“I don’t mind,” Marie said shyly, blushing at the thought of Yvain being naked in the other room.
Yvain took another towel out of the closet and went into his bedroom for a moment. He selected a clean pair of jeans from his dresser and a gray t-shirt. With fresh clothes in hand, he disappeared into the bathroom. Marie sat at the kitchen table, watching Estula run around in circles and listening to the sound of the shower. She wondered if Yvain would come out with only a towel on, but he exited the bathroom fully clothed with his wet hair stuck up in all directions.
“Sorry about the wait,” he said as he plopped down at the table. “You’re probably starving. I won’t make you late for work, will I?”
“Not at all, I have plenty of time.”
While they ate, Estula positioned herself under the table, hoping to catch any fallen food. Yvain told himself that he wouldn’t give her anything, but he could never say no to those big round eyes. He placed a few bits of turkey in the dog’s mouth, and she ran off with her prize.
“I bet you’re busy this time of year,” Yvain said between bites. “I remember last year, there was a festival around this time. The one where the girls all wore those extravagant gowns. I’m assuming that you made them.”
“Yes, the Rhododendron Festival. It’s at the beginning of May, which seems far away, but this month is just flying by. Usually most of the women in town wear the same dress every year, so I don’t have many to make, but this year, for some reason, it seems like almost everyone placed an order.”
“I liked that festival a lot, but I didn’t stay for long, since I had just moved in and I didn’t know anyone at that point. I thought that, maybe, we could go together this year. I bet it would be a lot more fun with you.”
“Really?” Marie blushed and looked down at her folded hands. “Are you sure? I mean, it’s really for couples.”
“Yes, I know; that’s why I want to go with you.” Yvain smiled and reached across the table to hold Marie’s hand.
Marie was speechless. She didn’t know how to react and felt her face turning even more red. She turned her head away to conceal this from Yvain. She tried to think of what to say, but she had completely forgotten how to speak, and she felt like she would throw up if she opened her mouth. She had surprised herself with her own reaction. She had pictured this moment a thousand times in her head before she went to sleep every night and had rehearsed exactly what she would say, but now her mind was blank.
Yvain stared at Marie for a long time, awaiting her answer. He pulled his hand away and frowned. He had thought she came by every day because she liked him, but he could have been wrong. He felt just as sick as she did, and was starting to regret asking her out when she suddenly gave him a sharp nod and giggled, covering her mouth with one dainty hand. Yvain chuckled, and they both felt a wave of relief. Marie’s face didn’t feel hot anymore; she took a deep breath and raised her eyes to meet Yvain’s. He stood and walked over to her, pulling her gently out of her chair. He was much taller than she was, and her eyes were level with his collarbone. She looked up at him through her pale eyelashes, and he cradled her head with his right hand. They looked deeply into each other’s eyes, and Yvain slowly moved his face closer to hers until their lips touched. They kissed for a long time, lost in each other’s arms, until they were interrupted by Estula’s bark. Yvain laughed and picked up the small dog, who was seemingly jealous.
Marie had almost forgotten that she had to go to work. She looked at the clock that hung on the wall next to the front window and gasped. “I have to go!” she said as she hastily cleaned up the table. She folded the tablecloth as best as she could and stuffed it into her basket. “I have to get to work, but I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“I can’t wait,” Yvain said, giving Marie one last kiss before she rushed out the door.
Once Marie had gone, Yvain tried to catch up on his reading, but his eyes were too tired, and he couldn’t concentrate. He set his book upside-down on the coffee table and lay down on the couch. Estula was still damp from her bath and snuggled into Yvain’s side for warmth. Yvain was so exhausted that he fell asleep within seconds of closing his eyes and slept for almost three hours. When he woke, he was groggy and hungry. He grabbed an apple from the basket on his kitchen counter and opened the door to let Estula outside. The rain had stopped, but it was still dark and cloudy. Yvain walked out the door after Estula and followed her around the farm. Birds were pulling worms out of the wet ground, and Estula made it her duty to chase them away.
Yvain was thinking about what he was going to make for dinner. He never kept much food in his house. He hadn’t gone to the store that week, and he hadn’t had much luck when he tried to hunt. It was yet another thing that he hadn’t improved on over the past year. Sometimes he would come across a great big buck in the woods, and he would hold his bow pointed at it for a long time, unable to let the arrow fly. He couldn’t bring himself to kill such a beautiful creature. Some days he was so hungry that he didn’t even think about it, but those were always the days that he couldn’t find anything. He had better luck when it came to fishing. The lake was just down the hill from his farm, and he could catch a sufficient number of fish from the end of the dock.
There were plenty of worms around from the rain, so Yvain gathered a generous amount of bait before he headed towards his shed to retrieve his fishing pole and his tackle box. Estula was chewing on a long piece of grass but then realized that Yvain was leaving her behind, so she darted after him and followed him down towards the lake.
Yvain was so used to the silence around his isolated home that he found himself quite startled as he stood at the edge of the lake and heard a scream echo off the water. His heart was racing, his muscles tensed, and he froze. He looked around, but he didn’t see anyone. Estula perked up her ears and raised her head towards the forest. Once the silence had settled again, Yvain gazed in the same direction as his dog, at the stillness of the towering oak trees. Perhaps he hadn’t heard a scream at all. It was very possible that it was an owl or some other kind of animal, but just as this thought crossed his mind and he started to relax, another scream burst forth from the dark woods. Upon hearing it again, he was sure that the scream had come from a woman, and she sounded like she was in pain.
Unsure of what to do, Yvain dropped his fishing pole and took off running towards the tree line. Estula ran past him, and he followed her, assuming that she would be able to find the source of the sound much easier than himself. They jumped over branches and tree roots and squeezed past overgrown bushes. Then, they turned right, in the direction of Yvain’s cabin, and continued on until they saw the shape of a woman in the darkness.
This mysterious person was lying face-first in a patch of dirt and dead leaves; she must have been the source of the screams, but was evidently unconscious now. She had short blond hair, which looked greasy and wet as it stuck to her pale white skin. She was wearing a pastel-blue jumpsuit, which had black markings that were mostly obscured by mud. Although, there was a clear image of a black bird on her left shoulder. The jumpsuit was torn in several places, and in those areas where her skin was showing, there were plenty of cuts and bruises. The edges of the fabric had been dyed red with blood. Her limbs were thin and long, and her bones jutted out sharply. There was something almost alien-like about her shriveled body.
Yvain’s first instinct was to poke her with a stick, but he refrained. Instead, he called out to her from a safe distance, but she did not stir. Estula barked and batted the woman’s head with a paw, but she still didn’t move. Yvain approached the woman slowly, wondering if she were dead, and knelt down beside her. He rested a hand gently on her back and felt it move up and down as she breathed slowly. He carefully rolled her onto her back and scooped her tiny body into his arms. He carried her towards his cabin as Estula barked and ran circles around them. Her eyelids lifted halfway, for only a second, revealing icy blue eyes. Yvain smiled down at her, but she slipped back into a deep sleep.
