Kiss chasey, p.18
Kiss Chasey, page 18
“Harry is nervous about seeing you. He’s still worried you won’t forgive him.”
I’m not ready to completely forgive either of them yet. Especially Harry. Forgiving the guy he was before he stepped into his game role came easy, but I still feel like I don’t know him anymore, and I’m scared when I see him I won’t be able to forget that he was part of the game. I won’t be able to see past the bad guy he was the last time I saw him. It’ll take me a while to come to grips with that and let him back into my life. “It’s going to take time.”
I dump the clothes on the bed and start pulling underwear out of my bedside drawer. It’s still the place sexuality goes to die, and I don’t think that’s going to change any time soon, because I can’t get Scorch out of my head, or quite frankly, forget the feel of him between my legs.
“I need to go, but I’ll see you tonight.” I sit cross-legged on the bed and reach for the photo I keep on the nightstand.
I guess my voice must give me away, because she asks, “You are going to get over this thing with Harry, aren’t you?”
“It’s not that.” I finger the tattered picture, staring at the dark hair and green eyes of my honest to goodness real life hero. I don’t ever want to forget, even though I don’t want to remember. “I have to go.”
I wish I could just move on like it was the nothing the Vice Agency insists it was. But I can’t. I dream about him. I think about him every day. I just want to hear him tell me these feelings are all in my head. That there isn’t some part of this that is real.
I feel like a goddamn stalker, calling the Vice Agency everyday just for confirmation that never comes. Scorch is alive. But they won’t tell me if he’s okay, or if he finally understands that he wasn’t to blame for what happened to my brother.
I try to tell myself I only need to know because of Jonathon. Because that’s what he would want me to do.
Yeah, right! I don’t know anyone who would believe that lie.
I tap in the number for Vice. Kaiser or Dare will probably answer the phone. They always make small chat, and I try to decipher any clues they might be trying to give me, but it doesn’t help. Because I know they’ll never betray the Agency rules that way. Because this is the way it’s supposed to be.
Calling again isn’t going to yield a different result. Nothing’s changed. They aren’t going to tell me anything, and I have a feeling that if Scorch wanted to see me he wouldn’t let the rules stop him. It should be clear by now that he doesn’t.
I have to let him go.
I have to try.
So I don’t press send. Dropping my cell on the bed, I start undressing. I need a shower and to get ready for tonight. There’s a loud banging at my front door that momentarily has me stuck with my arms over my head, my shirt tangled. My pulse quickens.
But it’s nothing more than fantasy to think he’ll be standing on the other side.
Slipping back into my shirt, I hurry through my apartment and open the door. Okay, maybe it isn’t fantasy.
Scorch stands there, his green eyed gaze drinking me in, a slight smile tugging at his sexy as sin mouth. His hair’s a little shorter, and he carries a cardboard box in one hand. He looks so much the same, but something has shifted in him. There’s something in the way his smile fills his eyes that has butterflies swarming in my belly. I can barely breathe as he enters my apartment. So much larger than life in the small space. My pulse rockets under his attention. “Scorch.”
“I like the way you say my name,” he says. “Like you’ve been waiting for me for a very long time.”
And I have been. For so very long. Since the day my brother made me make promises, and sent me a photo of the man of my dreams. I wonder if he’s laughing his ass off right now? Rolling around in Heaven, unable to contain his mirth at the idea of his best friend and little sister getting together. “Why are you here?”
“A couple reasons,” he says, handing me the box. “I couldn’t stop thinking about that bistro with the cheesecake.” His fingers trail sparks over my skin as he slides them up from the box to my elbow. He’s so close, and his scent surrounds me, drawing me in, making my mouth water and my pussy tingle. “I just didn’t think it would be fair after telling you about it, not to at least bring you some.”
“Well, thank you for that,” I whisper, almost unable to speak, as I place the box on the counter and try to tamp down on the desire whipping through me. Is he trying to have this effect on me? Or is the man, the man who he really is, just that much better than I could have imagined?
“A-and the other reason?”
“I’m no longer working as part of the Vice team. I’m moving over to private contracting.”
“Good for you.” I don’t know if I’m happy because he’s no longer going to be touching other women the way he did me, or because he’s not so broken anymore. Probably both.
“Saran offered me a contract.”
“Oh.” I keep my back to him. In a moment of weakness during those first few days, I’d tried to find a way around the rules. I’d offered to pay to see him again, in the form of contracting him as a bodyguard. “Are you going to take it?”
“No.”
My chest tightens. This connection, attraction, whatever it is, really is all one sided. He’s only here to tell me it’s time to let go. To forget about him.
He clears his throat as he comes up behind me. “I told him the girl doesn’t need a babysitter. That she isn’t just a pretty face. That she can look after herself.” He brushes my hair over my shoulder and leans over me, his mouth to my ear. “I told him I’d do it for free, if she’d let me.” His hot breath on my neck sends a shiver through me, causes wetness to pool between my legs. “So the question is, sweetness, what exactly were you hoping to get from hiring me as your bodyguard?”
I twist in his arms to stare up at him. To see if this is as real as I hope it is. Those dark half-hooded eyes of his convey so much as he waits for my answer. Oh, this is so very real. My heart stutters. “You.”
“That’s what I thought.” Sliding his hands down my body to grasp my ass, he hauls me up.
I wind my arms around his neck, our faces so close together our noses bump, and I have to lick my lips, the sensation of his mouth on me so close and yet so far. “I didn’t know if I was imagining it.”
“You weren’t.” He presses his mouth to mine, nibbling my lip and licking into me as though we have all the time in the world. It’s a sensual kiss, full of deliberation, and it doesn’t end until I’m whimpering into him, and my panties are irreparably soaked. “One last question.”
“What’s that?”
“It’s been a long time since I’ve dated, or whatever. Are we supposed to eat the cheesecake first?”
“That depends.” I grin against his mouth. “Is this fucking or are we dating?”
He tangles his fingers in my hair, pulling me to him harder. “Definitely fucking dating.”
“How fast or slow do you want to take this?” This is all so new, though I feel like we’ve been on this track forever.
“I’ll let you lead,” he says.
So I do. His chest vibrates as I slide my hands down over him, tugging at his T-shirt while I press my mouth to his jaw, and along the line of his throat. Two weeks with nothing but fantasies of him while I touched myself, and I’m throbbing with need now that he’s here. “Fast. Definitely fast. I want to feel you inside me again.”
“Thank fuck. You have no idea how many times I jerked off to you these past weeks.” Setting me on the counter beside the cheesecake, he kisses me deeply while I yank the soft cotton up over hard muscle. With one swift move he tugs it over his head. “Remembering the way you felt on my cock, and the way you came on me.”
“Almost as much as I did, I imagine. I don’t want to wait any longer.” We’re fumbling together, a flurry of sharp, jerky movements as he strips me of my top, and I attack his pants.
He lifts me clear of the counter and stumbles into the living area. We never do make it to the sofa. Instead he lays me down on the rug and kicks out of his boots, shoving his pants down while I work on my own.
Then he’s taking a condom from his pocket and rolling it over his length. My mouth waters like crazy. I want to taste him, want to wrap my mouth around the swollen head of his cock when he settles beside me. But there’ll be time for that later.
Not now. Not when he tells me, “I’m not sure I can be gentle with you this time. Don’t know if I’ll be able to stop if you—”
“I won’t.” I straddle him, wrapping my hand around the base of his cock and guiding him to my entrance. “I don’t need you to be gentle. I just need you inside me.”
“You’re so fucking wet.” He growls as I slide onto him, taking him deep, needing him to ease the ache I can’t seem to relieve. Not without him.
It’s so much easier this time. There’s nothing about this situation I’m afraid of. Not with him. “Fuck me, Scorch. Make me cum for you.”
He lays back on the rug, his hands gripping my hips as he drags me onto him so hard I swear it’s going to take the slightest movement to make me orgasm. Then he slips a finger to my clit. “Ride me, Chasey. I’m all yours.”
It’s like he flips a switch in me, and I can’t help but rock on him, taking him deep as he rubs me until I’m cumming so hard. My fingers dig into his chest as he takes over, guiding me up and down with hands clenched tight to my ass as he surges inside me, his release closely following mine.
When I catch my breath, I leave him there to go get the cheesecake and a fork. We eat on the floor, naked, sharing heated glances and lingering touches that have me wanting him all over again.
My phone rings at some point and I pad to the bedroom to answer it. He follows me in while I explain to Molly why I’m not going to end up meeting her tonight. Him, sitting on my bed, naked, gives me a funny feeling in my chest. I don’t think I ever want him to leave, though I know at some point he’ll have to. I know that we’re only starting out, and it’ll take time before either of us gets to the point where I can admit out loud that I think I’m in love with him.
He picks up the photo I hadn’t put away when he’d come to my door. “Jonathon sent you this?”
“Yes.” I nod, as he hands it to me. I bite my lip and consider telling him how much it meant to me. “You have no idea how many times the fact that I knew you were out there, that real honest to God heroes existed, kept me going. And what you did for Jonathon. You’ll always be a hero in my eyes.”
“I’m sorry I let you down,” he says, but he’s not as bitter as he was when I first met him. “I wish he was still here.”
“Me too,” I tell him. “But we have to move on.”
“Could I see it? The letter he sent you?”
I dig it out of the tin at back of my closet, and crawling onto the bed beside him, I hand it over. I watch the emotions play out on his face, the brightness in his gaze that gives away the depth of his sadness. Then he chuckles as he sets it down and pulls me onto his chest. “Do you think he had any inkling what would happen between us?”
“I’d like to think so. After all, he never told you about me. He probably thought you’d try to sleep with me.”
“Yeah.” He cups my face between his hands and gives me a lingering kiss. “But that’s not all I’m going to do. I’ve got a feeling this is one fantasy that’s pretty fucking real.”
Epilogue
Rolling onto my side, I stare at the long line of her neck and count the freckles on her shoulder. There are sixty-three of them scattered over that particular patch of creamy skin. Five of them are big, the rest so small it’s like looking at a galaxy of stars and planets.
They’re one of my favorite things about her body. I don’t know how many times I have counted them while she slept beside me, or while we’ve cooked together, or when I’ve washed her back in the shower.
It’s such a little thing. Knowing the number of freckles on each part of her body. One of the many things that made me fall hard for her.
Leaning over her, I press my lips to that spot just beneath her ear, where her pulse flutters and her scent fills my senses. I don’t think I can ever get over the spell she’s put me under. “Morning, sweetness.”
“Mmm.” She smiles, her eyes still closed, as she stretches, sticking her butt out a little so I can feel her curves pressed to me. Another thing I’ve enjoyed about waking up beside her every day since we moved in together six months ago.
It has an immediate reaction on my cock, and I palm her waist and pull her tight against me so she can feel what she does to me. “Happy birthday.”
Long lashes lift, framing her pale blue eyes as she turns and nestles her head on my shoulder. It still hurts sometimes from the bullet I took, but for the most part it hardly bothers me. It reminds me how far we’ve come since her birthday last year.
It’s not that I still don’t carry guilt over giving the order that ended up with my men being caught in the explosion. I don’t think something like that ever goes away. But, I no longer wallow in it. It’s just a part of who I am and how I got here. With her.
At peace.
Living.
It took a long time to get used to the sensation.
I’m still not entirely sure I’m used to it, but she makes it easier. She reminds me that it’s a better way of honoring the fallen.
“I can’t believe it’s been a year,” she murmurs, and tilts her face to mine so I can kiss her. “It doesn’t feel like we met so long ago.”
I cup her face, linger over her mouth. A year ago I knew she would steal a chunk of my soul, but I hadn’t been prepared for her to keep it. “Do you want your gift now, or later?”
“What time is it?” She raises her head so she can check the alarm clock on the nightstand.
I let her sleep a little longer than she intended. She’ll gripe about it like she always does, but I hate waking her when she looks so relaxed. The teaching position she’s been at these past few months has been a little more stressful than she expected it to be, I think. But she loves it. Loves teaching the kids about literature, passing on her love of books. And she loves the kids. “You should have woken me.” She shoves playfully at my shoulder and jumps out of bed. “I can’t be late.”
Tucking my hands behind my head, I watch her sprint around the room, gathering her things before she heads to the bathroom. Not much scares her anymore. The game gave her a confidence she hadn’t had before, and I’ve been working with her on her self-defense moves. She might even be able to bring me to my knees soon.
Oh, hell. I grin. She brings me to my damn knees every single day, with a look, or a touch. And sometimes with words.
She started writing her own book. It’s coming along quite nicely. Or at least that’s what she tells me. She won’t let me read it.
My cell beeps, and I check the text. Molly. Flicking off the covers, I get up. Molly was hesitant at first about me wanting to throw Chasey a surprise party, but she’s got this way of, well, scheming, that comes in handy.
Or at least it did when she and Saran set up the game that brought Chasey and I together. It’s almost as if the two girls balance each other out. As Chasey became more outgoing, Molly became a little less flamboyant. Not that she’ll ever be quiet.
I make coffee and toast, and pack the lunch she made the night before in her bag so she won’t be late. Then Horse wanders in from the living room, his smoke colored tail held high as he lets me know he’s ready to be served. I feed him and give him a scratch under the chin until Chasey races into the kitchen. I hand her a takeaway cup, and kiss her again. “I’m going to marry you, you know that, right?”
She gets to the door before she stops and turns around. “What did you just say?”
“I’m going to marry you, Chasey, because I can’t see my life without you in it.” I grab a dark red apple from the steel fruit bowl we keep on the counter and polish it on my shirt. “Now get out of here, or you’ll be late.”
“Is that your roundabout way of telling me what you’re giving me for my birthday?” She can’t help the smile that lights up her face, though she tries to hide it.
“Don’t be impatient.” I crunch into the sweet fruit. “I didn’t say I was going to ask you today, just that I will at some point.”
“Okay.” She grins. “I’ll see you tonight.”
Then she’s gone, and I call Saran to check in while I wait for Molly to arrive.
***
I shove my phone back in my pocket as I wind my way between the linen draped tables where our friends and family sit. I didn’t lie to her when I said I wasn’t going to ask her today. I have another surprise up my sleeve besides the birthday party she didn’t know about until Molly brought her to the bistro we love so much.
Her dad, an older version of Jonathon, with his ashy hair and sharp blue eyes, claps me on the back. “Are you worried she’s going to turn heel and run?”
“A little.” We’ve come a long way since the last time someone surprised her, but that doesn’t mean it won’t freak her out. Maybe I should have listened to Molly.
“You’re all set,” Saran says, approaching us. He pulls an envelope and keys out of his jacket pocket and hands them to me. “Are you sure you two really want to do this?”
“That depends.” I grin. “Are you going to try and kill me again?”
He laughs, his dark eyes dancing. “Everything is set up according to your specifications. The jet will be waiting at the airport when you get there.”
I make my way toward Chasey, where she’s talking to Harry. It took her a long while to forgive him and even longer for me to warm up to him. Even knowing he’d only been playing his part in the game, not wanting to punch out his lights for hurting her hadn’t come easy. But he’s a nice guy when it comes down to it. A little bit of a pushover. Especially when it comes to Molly. But then when a man looks at a woman the way he does at Molly, there’s no way he’d ever say no.
I find Chasey’s gaze. Yeah, he wouldn’t say no to a damn thing she asked of him.
