My lost daughter, p.43
My Lost Daughter, page 43
Even in sleep, Lily couldn’t escape this awful man who had tried to steal her daughter from her. Alex had crawled inside her brain.
Turning on her side, she curled up next to Chris and tried to go back to sleep. All she could think about was Alex. Was he alive or dead? Where was he right now? Had he left, given up on Shana, moved on to someone new? She had to find a way to disentangle his insanity and find the string of bread crumbs that would lead her to him. Alex may not have stabbed Shana or shattered her bones, but he had almost stolen her sanity.
She got up to go to the bathroom. As she walked down the small hallway lined with closets, her eyes caught the green light on the alarm panel. She stopped and stared at it in a sleepy daze. She remembered setting the alarm before she went to bed.
“Chris,” she said, tapping him gently on the shoulder.
“What? What time is it?”
“Did you turn off the alarm?”
“No,” he mumbled, turning back on his side and pulling the covers up over his shoulders.
“The alarm was set when I went to bed and it’s off now.”
“God, Lily, set it and go back to sleep. You probably forgot.”
In seconds, she heard him snoring. She started to walk away but she had a horrid feeling that something was wrong. “No,” she said, shaking him again. “I didn’t forget.”
Now he was awake and grumpy. He reached over and turned on the light. “Why do you have to wake me up? Now I won’t be able to go back to sleep and my calendar is jammed tight tomorrow.”
Lily didn’t want to hear anymore. She tossed on her robe and rushed to the other side of the house, where the guest room was located.
The bed was empty!
Where had Shana gone at this time of night? She went to the garage, but both cars were there.
Returning to Shana’s room, she sat down in a chair and stared into the darkness. Why would she do this to her? She wanted to scream, throw her body on the ground and thrash around in anguish. Her daughter was gone, possibly abducted. A maniac who was supposed to be dead was stalking her, maybe with the intention of killing her. Lily was responsible because she had taken Shana to Whitehall. If she had not overreacted, Shana would have never crossed paths with this lunatic. What she refused to accept, even though she knew it was possible, was that her daughter might already be dead.
The room was suddenly flooded with light. Chris was standing in the doorway in his robe. “I had a feeling she might run off. She may not act like it, Lily, but Shana has to be furious that you put her in a mental hospital. Maybe this is her payback.”
“You’re wrong,” Lily said. “Something terrible has happened. Shana told me how much she loved me today. It was the first time in years that we really connected. She wanted to go back to Palo Alto and get a job to help with her expenses. She didn’t run off, Chris. Where would she go on foot? She doesn’t even know anyone around here anymore and I’m almost certain she doesn’t have any money.”
“I have no idea where she went, Lily. Most girls with Shana’s background would be terrified to go out alone at night.” His eyes filled with concern. “Come on, honey, come back to bed. I bet you a hundred bucks she’ll be here in the morning. You can’t let this drive you crazy. I called her a girl, but she isn’t a girl. She’s a twenty-eight-year-old woman.”
Lily walked over and placed her palm in the center of his chest. “We have to find her. She could be in terrible danger.”
“Not the dead guy again.”
“When did you stop trusting me?”
“I trust you, Lily. I just think you’re overwrought right now. I might be overwrought too if I’d gone through what you have, but you need to calm down and think rationally.”
Lily started down the hall to get her coat when he stopped her. “Go back to bed and try to rest. I’ll drive around and see if I can find Shana.”
“I can’t sleep until we find her. I’ll go with you.”
“No, honey, I want you back in bed. Let me handle this. I have a different perspective.”
“And what is that?”
“Shana’s been locked up at Whitehall. Being here with us watching her every move isn’t exactly freedom. So she went for a walk.” He leveled a finger at her. “You relax and I’ll find her, but I’m warning you now, Lily, I refuse to drag her back like an escaped prisoner. If she wants to see the sun rise over the ocean, she has every right to do so. Do you agree?”
Lily nodded and then followed Chris to the bedroom, leaning back against the wall as she watched him throw on a T-shirt and a pair of jeans. He pointed to the bed and Lily quickly got in and pulled the covers over her. She had never seen him so commanding, but she liked it, even found it sexy as long as he didn’t go overboard.
If she’d taken the time to visit his courtroom, Lily thought, she would have seen this side of him before now. They were both judges, and their salaries were similar except Lily made slightly more. She wouldn’t have a case to try without municipal court judges like Chris. He handled arraignments, various motions, plea agreements, misdemeanor crimes, and most important, preliminary hearings. A preliminary hearing was basically a mini trial, and at the end, the judge hearing the case decided if a crime had been committed and if there was substantial evidence that led to the belief that the defendant had committed it. The judge’s official ruling was that the defendant should be held to answer in superior court, which was Lily’s domain.
She had failed to treat Chris with the appropriate respect, the same mistake she had made with both of her husbands. She would have to correct herself immediately or she might lose a man she truly loved.
She jumped when Chris bent down and kissed her. “You seem more relaxed. I’m proud of you.”
“I was thinking how much I love you and what a wonderful judge you are. Before I go back to work, I’m going to come to your court and watch you in action.”
“I’d like that,” Chris said, scooping his car keys off the dresser. “Try to get some rest. I’ll call you the moment I find her.”
Lily’s concern returned, causing her to shiver. “What if you don’t find her?”
“Then we’ll call the police, the FBI, and notify every law enforcement agency in the state. Now rest and try your best to remain positive.”
Shana regained consciousness in the trunk of the car. Inside a flashing second, she experienced complete and utter terror, so intense and horrifying that she was certain nothing could ever surpass it. Death was squeezing the breath out of her like a boa constrictor. She knew without a doubt that her entire life had been leading to this one moment. The rape could not compare. Whitehall could not compare. Nothing could compare.
Her internal organs were working desperately to keep her alive. Her heart was beating in tachycardia and placing her at risk of cardiac arrest. The human defense mechanism, sensing imminent danger, was flooding her body with adrenaline, coursing like a raging river inside her veins. Her brain, short-circuiting on fear, knew it must escape the reality of her predicament.
It could not.
Shana plunged into a dark well of thoughtlessness. Her mind took this avenue as the only solution.
When she awoke, she was in a twin bed. She tried to move but met resistance. A white canvas tarp with metal holes at the ends, such as the type you might find on a tent, was strapped tightly over her body, ending only a few inches under her chin. She could turn her head from side to side. Other than that, she couldn’t move.
“Shana,” Alex said, “you took a long nap.” He had a chair pulled to the edge of the bed and was peering down at her face, a cigarette dangling from his mouth and the smoke swirling above his head like a dirty halo. He tossed the butt in an ashtray and then pressed it out with his thumb. “Sorry, Shana, I know you hate cigarettes. Nicotine is a terrible addiction.”
“Where . . . where am . . . I?” Shana stammered, her mind dull and confused.
Alex stood and walked to a window a few feet away, his back to Shana. “You’re only a short distance from your mother. She’s right across the street. See.” He turned around to make certain she was watching and then pointed out the window. “That’s your house right over there.”
Shana’s mind was now alert and racing. She looked around the dark room and tried to figure out where they were. If they were near her mother’s house, they had to be in the apartment complex outside the back gate. She had to find a way to escape. Alex was insane. She could see it as well as smell it. There was a putrid odor emanating from his body, as if he hadn’t bathed in months. If Shana didn’t get away, she would die.
She discovered she could move her hands if she sucked all her breath inside her and pressed her abdomen to her backbone. But moving her hands a few inches wasn’t going to help. Somehow, she had to talk him into removing the tarp. “Why are you doing this to me? I thought you cared for me, loved me. I thought we were going to run away together and start a new life.”
Alex spun around, his eyes darting all over the room and then landing on Shana. “I’m going to get your mother soon.” He waited until he saw the agony on her face and then he smiled. “Don’t worry. We’re all going to be together. You don’t have to worry about your mother. You look so much alike. I was stunned when I saw you both on the beach. I had trouble telling you apart.”
Shana started to say something but Alex was approaching her. He took a seat in the chair next to her bed and lit another cigarette. “Sorry, I can’t help it. The smoking, you know.” He followed her eyes to the dresser, where a disposable syringe, a small glass vial, and a package of cotton balls were sitting. “That, well, that’s Demerol. It’s a narcotic. It’s always been one of my favorite drugs. Unfortunately, it’s addictive. Everything good is bad for you these days. Life’s a bitch, huh?”
Shana was staring at him with wide, stark eyes. He continued speaking. “It gives you a sense of well-being. Trust me. You’re going to love it.”
“I . . . no . . . let me up. Please, let me go.” Tears gathered in Shana’s eyes. She began thrashing inside the tarp. Her nose began running. Panicked inside the tight canvas, she felt like a sniveling baby. Why had she gone out alone at night when she knew Alex was looking for her? But this, this was a nightmare come to life.
“Your mother should have come to visit you at the hospital,” Alex told her, going to the bathroom and returning with a tissue. He wiped her nose and then tossed the tissue in the trash can. “I know you’ve patched things up because I saw you embracing each other at the beach. I could have taken both of you then, but there were too many people around and I wasn’t set up yet.” He glanced around the apartment. “I had to get approved for this place. They made such a big deal you would have thought I was renting a palace.” He bent down and picked up a large box. “I want you to see your daughter. She’ll look better after we go on our journey. On the other side, we’ll all have glorified bodies.”
“My daughter?” Shana tried to pick her head up to see what he was talking about, but her range of motion was too limited. Alex saw this and tilted the box so she could see the contents. Some kind of strange object was arranged on what appeared to be a satin pillow. She was too far away to identify the object but to her, the outside resembled a miniature coffin. When Alex brought the box closer, she saw it and had to suppress the urge to vomit.
Alex was holding a real coffin!
There was something inside that looked liked sticks attached to a round object about the size of a baseball. Finally she figured it out.
A head! It was a skeleton, a baby’s skeleton!
Shana opened her mouth and screamed like a banshee. Alex pounced on her and placed his hand over her mouth. “Stop that, Shana. You’re acting childish. People will hear you. We don’t want that, do we?”
Shana shook her head from side to side.
“If I take my hand off, you have to promise you won’t scream. Do you promise?”
She nodded and Alex removed his hand. “What scared you? That?” he said, glancing at the gruesome contents of the box, now on the floor by his feet. “That’s just the remnants of what your daughter used to be. Your name in your former life was Jennifer Rondini. You died and then you were born again into your present body. I know there’s a time difference, but they say your former soul doesn’t enter your new body until you’re older, somewhere around puberty. Before I found you, this was the only thing I had left of our baby. I removed it from the earth. I didn’t want my only child in the dirt where animals could eat her.”
“Please let me up or at least loosen this thing over me,” Shana told him. “I can’t breathe, Alex. It’s cutting off my air. If you don’t take it off, I’m going to suffocate. Do you want me to die now, right now? I thought you wanted us to cross over together.”
Alex didn’t answer. He appeared to be lost in his thoughts. For an unknown period of time, he just sat there in the chair next to the bed, smoking one cigarette after another and rocking his chair back on its rear legs. Then a curtain of darkness fell over his eyes. He grimaced and stood, walking to the dresser and filling the syringe.
“What are you doing?” Shana shouted. “Don’t stick that in me, Alex. Please, I won’t make any more noise.”
Shana watched as Alex rolled up his sleeve, slapped his arm several times, and then plunged the needle into his vein. His head fell back and his mouth opened as the narcotic entered his bloodstream. He removed the needle from his arm and refilled it, walking over to the edge of the bed and untying one corner of the canvas tarp. He picked up Shana’s arm. She jerked it away, but Alex seized it. He was too strong. She tried to escape through the opening in the tarp, but Alex’s body blocked her. He whipped his belt off and tied it around Shana’s arm, then plunged the needle in, hitting the vein on the first try. After he finished, he tossed the disposable needle in the trash can by the bed and retied the tarp tightly around Shana’s body.
She was flooded with warmth and contentment, a welcome relief from the previous terror. She smiled and Alex smiled back.
“Good stuff, isn’t it? You’ll sleep now.” Alex’s words were thick and slurred by the drug. “I used to be fascinated by death, the process of dying. I never understood why I wanted to kill things and study them as they died. I was only seeking answers like any scientist or researcher. Death, I determined, is going backward through the evolutionary pond. The life essence that makes you what you are, well, it can be freed to join with the universe or what people refer to as the Godhead, or it can become trapped in another worthless body. So many people hate their lives. I know because they have clubs . . . suicide clubs. They want to die and trade their body in for a new one. I know you want that, too, so I’m going to help you do it, just like I’m going to help your mother.” He exhaled a stream of cigarette smoke. “I know you’re probably still harboring resentment over what your mother did, but on the other side, everyone loves each other. There’s no anger, no resentment, no depression, no violence. It’s paradise, just what we’re all seeking, even if we don’t realize it.”
Shana was giggling, her eyes closed, her head rolling from side to side. The implications in Alex’s words slipped past on a cloud of narcotic-induced delusions. She was back in time, hanging out with her teenage girlfriends, completely and mercifully unaware that her life hung in the balance.
A few blocks away, Chris traveled the dark streets, up one and then down another, searching the lawns, the sidewalks, between the houses. He steered the car into the narrow alleys and caused all the neighborhood dogs to begin barking and howling. The gas gauge on the Volkswagen was on empty. He had planned on filling it up that morning. He couldn’t drive around any longer on fumes. He would have to give up or find a service station that was open at three o’clock in the morning.
As Chris figured it, Shana had made contact with one of her friends and they had picked her up. They could have gone out to a dance club, and nothing happened at those places until late. But she could have left a note. That is, unless she had connected with her friend after they had gone to bed. Now that made sense, he told himself, a heck of a lot more than an alleged dead guy snatching Shana from her bed.
He rubbed his eyes and tried to see the road in front of him. Here he was, bone tired, a hectic day ahead of him, searching the city for someone who more than likely didn’t want to be found.
Good luck on finding a gas station that was open. Ventura was a bedroom community and they rolled up the sidewalks around ten at night. He was heading down the Pacific Coast Highway to find a gas station when the Volkswagen sputtered and died. He had never run out of gas before in his life. You weren’t supposed to run out of gas in a Volkswagen. He’d known he was low on fuel and felt like an idiot. He should have taken Lily’s Volvo.
“Damn it,” he said, getting out and lifting the hood to raise the chances of someone stopping to help him. He was at least seven miles from the house, and in his rush to leave, he had forgotten to bring his cell phone. Cars zipped past him, but no one stopped. No one would stop at this hour. After waiting beside the road for at least thirty minutes, he locked up the car and began walking.
THIRTY-FIVE
WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 27
VENTURA, CALIFORNIA
After Chris left, Lily sat up in bed and tried reading, but she kept falling asleep. She reassured herself that everything was okay, that Chris would come home any minute with her daughter in tow. Shana’s insomnia might be to blame. Since the hospital hadn’t sent her home with any medicine, she would have to take her to their family doctor and get her on one of the new sleep medications such as Lunesta or Ambien. Lily had suffered from insomnia until she had become involved with Chris. He had chased her demons away, and without the past haunting her, she slept through the night without a problem.
She tried to call Chris on his cell phone and became concerned when he didn’t answer. Then she heard a ringing sound in the bathroom and realized he’d forgotten to take his phone. Since someone had to stay at the house in case Shana returned, she finally turned off the light and fell asleep.
