‘Genuine mistake,’ Pax confirmed. ‘It was the same clinician who retrieved the wrong sample and who treated Maia in the rooms. She isn’t well herself. Her vision. But she was hiding her declining eyesight because she needed the job.’

  ‘Money?’ Niko slumped against the wall and bowed his head.

  ‘Family commitments, yes.’

  ‘Poor woman.’ Niko didn’t have it in him to be angry with someone other than Maia right now and certainly didn’t have the heart for recriminations. ‘Is she okay?’

  ‘She’s distraught. I’ve asked that she gets professional support. They’re revising their storage processes of course and upgrading the technology. It was an appalling chain of events unlikely ever to be repeated.’

  ‘So it wasn’t some kind of threat, no sick sort of succession plot to create an heir?’ Niko double-checked.

  Pax shook his head. ‘I shook the tree hard, but there’s nothing.’

  ‘Which means there’s no threat to Maia from this?’

  ‘Not from this, now.’

  ‘Any other threats to her?’

  ‘Nothing aside from the interest generated from her appearance with you last night. That’s only going to heighten over the coming months.’

  Niko gritted his teeth. ‘Thanks, you can go.’

  Pax said nothing more and walked down the corridor. But Niko didn’t go back into the room where Maia was waiting. He paused just outside the door, trying to wrap his head around the confusion of the last twenty-four hours. None of this was as simple as he’d thought it could be.

  Last night he’d felt contrarian. Wanting to show her off and hide her away at the same time. It was the zillionth time he’d seen such a performance but the first for her, and seeing her so sweetly transfixed by the show had brought him immense pleasure. Frankly he’d forgotten Athena was going to be there last night. He’d forgotten most of the women he’d been with. He hadn’t thought about another woman in days. He’d had his hands too full coping with Maia.

  The contradictory feelings were so freaking complicated and he couldn’t straighten them out. And the anxiety underlying it all was rising. Niko didn’t do anxiety. He did certainty. He was good at it. So this was very weird and very uncomfortable.

  But the fact was any danger Maia now might face was purely because of him. She was losing her freedom because of him. Her life would be irrevocably changed because of him.

  None of this was what she would have chosen for herself. Ever. And she didn’t want it. She was pushing to put herself in the position of his lover. To reduce herself—shrink inwards and accept less than she ought to ever have. Because that was what she was used to.

  Meeting her father had sickened him. Worse was the realisation that he wanted the same outcome as that man. To be aligned in any way with that the guy seemed wrong. But they wanted the same thing for vastly different reasons, right?

  Her father was a man in power telling her what to do. Telling her he knew best. That he wanted only to ‘help’ her. Not listening to her at all. Hearing that cruel tone, the coercion, the manipulation had made him realise that he was doing the exact same thing.

  He really wasn’t as different to Brant Flynn as he’d liked to think. They were both men taking advantage of what authority they had to get what they wanted. All but haggling over her. Not letting her choose.

  The levels of control she’d been subjected to her whole life were exhausting. Everyone had things they had to do, that was part of life but Maia hadn’t had the most basic of freedoms nor the chance to discover things for herself. She’d never had normal options. So how could she know what she really wanted when she’d never had the time or space to figure it out for herself?

  But one thing she’d made clear was that she didn’t want to marry him. He’d been trying to convince her from the start and she wouldn’t budge—today she was more vehement, more calm about it, than ever.

  And now he felt unsure that the intimacy they’d shared had only happened because she’d felt some innate need to protect herself. That she’d wanted to please him and thus keep herself safe somehow.

  She’d said she would still sleep with him but she wouldn’t marry him. She didn’t want to live in the palace as his wife forever. That was a hard no from her. And if he insisted? She would become disenchanted. She would become resentful. She would try to run away again. And he didn’t think he could stand that.

  He’d wanted to do right for the child but also do right for her. To give her as much freedom as he could allow. But there was no real compromise in this situation as it currently stood. There couldn’t be. And now he liked her. He even cared about her. Which made it all the more imperative to stop this in its tracks now. He shouldn’t have brought her back to the city. He shouldn’t have shown her off in public. In doing so he’d put her more at risk than she’d already been. Now there was such speculation and a lot of it was accurate. But if he moved swiftly, decisively, then he could fix this.

  He was the king. He could make a proclamation. He could recognise his child. Niko needed not just to listen to her but hear her.

  He leaned against the wall. He really didn’t feel good. A selfish part of him didn’t want to relinquish his hold on her. But the lust still consuming him would surely fade.

  She’d said all along that she wanted her freedom. He’d never realised or understood how and why she so deeply needed it. But she’d had virtually none. She’d had to work almost all of her life—without the recompense anyone should ordinarily get for it. She’d had no chance to explore and find out what she really wanted to do. She hadn’t ever had her own choices.

  She’d wanted to go shopping on her own and he’d been too selfish to even understand that. He’d wanted to see her joy—as if, what, he could feel smug about being the one to provide her with that experience? He’d made it all about him and never really considered her true wishes. He’d never really understood her—or what her motivations were. And she was still trying to accommodate him.

  Of course he’d wanted her to have everything. He’d wanted to spoil her. He’d genuinely thought he’d tried. He thought he’d been understanding, patient and generous. He winced at his self-delusion. As if he could save her somehow?

  But he knew better than most how one could live in the most beautiful place in the world, and have all the riches in the world. But those things didn’t mean happiness.

  And Maia had also had very little love. She’d had little time for fun and friendships and play. His head ached as he worked through the most unpalatable prospect that perhaps she’d only stepped into his bed because of that lack of affection. Perhaps it was exactly as those jerks had tried to do on her boat that time. She liked him purely because he was one of the few people in her life who’d actually been nice to her. He’d made her feel good and she’d mistaken that for thinking that he was good. And he realised now he was not good enough for her. Because he’d wanted to put power and duty first—not a person. Which meant he was just like his grandfather after all. Overlooking someone’s very existence in order to not disrupt the lineage. Niko had been prepared to overlook her unhappiness. He’d been so arrogant he’d assumed he could make her happy enough. But that wasn’t good enough. And none of this was good for the stability of Piri-nu. He’d been making rash decisions that had only worsened the situation.

  But now he knew exactly what he had to do.

  * * *

  ‘What’s happened now?’ Maia stared as Niko walked into the room, carefully closing the door behind him.

  His unusual pallor instantly raised her concern. She’d never seen him pale.

  ‘Has something else happened?’ She swallowed. ‘My father—’

  ‘Has gone. It’s not him.’ He paced to the window.

  She watched, her anxiety spiking as he seemed pull his thoughts together.

  ‘I just wanted to clarify your...’ He hesitated and cleared his throat. ‘Proposal for how we might move forward from here.’

  Her mouth dried. ‘Oh?’

  ‘You were saying that you’re happy to continue being my lover, but that you won’t marry me. Is that correct?’

  She nodded, unsure about the rapid return to that awkward conversation and the even more awkward way he was summing it up. He was like a robot all of a sudden.

  ‘How long did you think the intimate aspect of our relationship would last?’ he asked.

  ‘I...’ Now she had to clear her throat. ‘As long as it was convenient, I guess.’

  He nodded thoughtfully. ‘And we would remain exclusive for as long as that was convenient too. Is that what you were thinking?’

  Her stomach churned. She didn’t want to answer that. She didn’t want to contemplate it.

  But Niko didn’t give her long to answer anyway. ‘What happens when one or other of us wants to change the situation?’

  Did he mean when he was tired of her?

  ‘Then I would live somewhere else,’ she said mechanically. ‘Somewhere nearby. I mean, the palace is huge...’ She watched him warily. ‘Or I could find a small apartment in a building not too far away.’

  ‘But what about work? What would you like to do?’

  Honestly, Maia hadn’t thought any of this through and she didn’t know. Why did all that need to be decided now? Couldn’t they just stop the marriage pressure and figure other things out as they went along? But there was an implacable set to his features and she felt a qualm. He was still—only—fixated on duty. He was only offering marriage because she was pregnant and her father had forced him into moving on that even more quickly. But he was wrong. Of course she wanted what was best of this baby but they could achieve that—better—without being married. Because she now felt a strong, desperate need to ensure she too was safe. Last night she’d realised the extent of her feelings and if she were to marry him, it would destroy her. Because he didn’t feel the same.

  ‘I don’t know,’ she admitted softly. ‘I could always go back to the island.’

  ‘But you enjoyed last night.’ Inexorably he found fault with her suggestion. ‘You wanted more in your life than what the island offers. You want to be able to shop or go to the theatre, the movies even, a sports game. All those things.’

  ‘That doesn’t matter,’ she mumbled.

  ‘What you want doesn’t matter?’ He looked at her intently. ‘That’s unacceptable to me, Maia.’

  But what she really wanted was impossible. Unspeakable.

  He folded his arms across his chest. Looking bigger, tougher. Closed off. ‘You’re going to Australia this afternoon.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘Australia. This afternoon. The tickets are just being arranged right now. We’re expediting a passport for you.’

  ‘What?’ She couldn’t have heard properly. She stared at him as the words sank in. He’d been gone so long and this was what he’d been doing? ‘You’re sending me away?’

  ‘Yes.’

  She stared at him, trying to work out why. Last night had been amazing. She’d felt on top of the world. But there was a catch because it wasn’t actually real, was it? It was a pretence. A convenience. It meant nothing. And he’d had enough of her. Already. So quickly. The novelty of her had worn off and there was nothing left to interest him. Only she couldn’t quite believe that all those moments had been that shallow. She couldn’t believe that he felt nothing.

  ‘Is this because I won’t marry you?’ She began to get angry. ‘Are you so annoyed that I won’t agree to everything you want that you’re punishing me?’ She stepped closer in disbelief. ‘Are you that spoilt, Niko?’

  ‘This is not a punishment.’ He stared at her. ‘That’s the opposite of my intention. I want you to have your freedom, Maia.’

  Her freedom? She stood very still as a horrible feeling opened up within her. ‘Don’t tell me you’re doing this in my best interests...’

  ‘But this is exactly what’s best, Maia.’

  ‘Not if I get no choice,’ she argued.

  ‘Well, you don’t. Not immediately,’ he said grimly. ‘Initially I need to be sure you’re safe. We have a home there that is already serviceable.’

  Serviceable. ‘And then? What’s the long-term plan, Niko?’

  ‘It’s best if you go right away.’ He didn’t answer her actual question. ‘I think it will be easier for you to adjust to the change in our relationship.’

  She stared, bereft of speech as the horror of the situation grew. ‘The...’ Fear whispered out. ‘You don’t want me at all anymore?’

  ‘It’s not helping either of us,’ he said grimly.

  Helping? She couldn’t even echo the madness.

  Was it normal to have the best night of your life and then have it fall apart? How had she felt something so vastly different to him? How could they be so completely opposite in their assessment of that experience? Was she this naive? This inexperienced in relationships?

  ‘I know you’re upset,’ he gritted. ‘But—’

  ‘Yes. I am. Shall we blame it on pregnancy hormones?’ she interrupted, her mouth running off before her brain could stop it. ‘Or say it’s because I’m inexperienced? But they’re both just excuses to dismiss my feelings because you’re uncomfortable with the fact that you’ve just hurt me.’ She blinked rapidly. ‘Because you have, Niko.’

  She hated that acidic tears were so close. She never cried. But even though she swallowed she couldn’t stop the rising emotion. ‘You broke your promise.’

  ‘Which is why it’s better to do this now before it gets worse.’

  ‘It?’ She stared at him, humiliated, and yet defiance surged. She would not apologise for having feelings. ‘You mean how I feel about you?’

  He glanced away. Apparently looking at her was now too awkward. ‘You’re confused, Maia.’

  Oh, wow. Was he really going to dismiss what she felt and thought and experienced? Did he really think he ‘knew better’?

  ‘Then clarify this for me, Niko,’ she invited coldly. ‘Explain all. Why am I being sent away and how long for?’

  ‘I think we need time and space apart. This is too much for you to have to make decisions on right now.’

  She paused. So this was coming from a place of protectiveness? She narrowed her gaze. ‘Why the sudden switch when less than an hour ago you were chomping at the bit to announce our engagement?’

  ‘I’ve had a chance to think more clearly.’

  He’d had time away from her. And he was worried about the decisions she’d tried to make—her determination that she would not marry him. That had truly bothered him—why? Did he want her to change her mind? Hope—almost destroyed—suddenly fluttered again.

  She stood and walked towards him. ‘Did last night mean anything for you?’ she asked and took all her courage in her hands. ‘Because it meant something to me, Niko. And I don’t want to go away. I want to stay here with you. We can work this out—’

  ‘No.’ He stomped on that flicker of hope. ‘This isn’t right. It’s asking too much of you, Maia.’

  Why had he suddenly leapt to that conclusion?

  ‘You think you’re the only one capable of handling hard things? I’m just as strong as you. If not stronger.’ She gazed at him, trying to understand what he was thinking. ‘And I’m not your mother, Niko. I’m tough. I’ve survived so much more than you’ll ever really know.’

  ‘Yeah, and you shouldn’t have to survive more. You should just have—’ He broke off. ‘Whatever you want.’

  ‘Then why not ask me what I want instead of making some unilateral decision? Instead of assuming that you know everything? Why not listen to what I’m telling you. I want—’

  ‘You can’t know what you want!’ he fired back in frustration. ‘You’ve never had the chance to even understand all your options.’

  She sucked in a breath. ‘So no matter what I say, you won’t believe that I might want to stay with you?’

  ‘It’s irrelevant because you can’t.’ He stared at her stonily. ‘Because I don’t want you to.’

  And what he wanted happened.

  ‘I only want what is best for you,’ he said.

  ‘You only want what’s easy,’ she shot back.

  ‘You think this is easy?’ he retorted furiously. ‘It would be much easier to make you stay here with me, Maia, and you know exactly how I could get you to set aside your resistance.’

  She stared at him, her heart shattering as he admitted using his skill to seduce her. To manipulate her. But she also knew he was wrong. ‘But you can’t, can you, Niko? You’ve realised you can’t. You can seduce me to a mindless mess but I’ll still say no to marriage. You know I won’t change my mind. And you can’t cope with that.’

  They glared at each other.

  ‘You’re right. I don’t want you forced into staying here.’

  ‘But I do want to stay. I just don’t want to marry you.’

  ‘Why not? Why am I good enough to sleep with and not good enough to marry?’ he asked.

  His twist of reality all but destroyed her and the truth spilled out. ‘Because this isn’t going to last. Because you’re not in love with me.’

  He stared at her. ‘You do not need me. You do not need this. Go, Maia. You be everything you want to be. Do it all. Discover everything. Please, I want that for you.’

  Not I want you. But I want that for you.

  She heard the nuance and understood. He really didn’t want her.

  ‘You’ve been fighting for your freedom for all this time and now I want to help you get it and you’re suddenly all angry with me?’ He threw his hands up. ‘I can’t win.’

  ‘Because everything’s changed.’ She stared at him pleadingly. ‘Hasn’t it?’

  He shook his head. ‘It’s just been an intense few days.’

  ‘No. That’s not all.’ She stared at him, willing him to admit even just a little to the truth of their connection.

 

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19