The perfect home, p.28
The Perfect Home, page 28
‘How could she do this? How could she lie about something so serious?’
‘She’s a teenage girl who made a promise to her friend. She knew it was wrong, but she felt a sense of loyalty to Poppy. And she did the right thing in the end, didn’t she?’
‘Three days too late, Stuart! Can you imagine what Lily and Eric went through? And Bethany could have prevented that heartache and pain, but she said nothing. She did nothing.’
‘Can you imagine how scared she was? She had made this pact with Poppy, promised to keep her secret, even though it put her in a terrible situation. But, ultimately, she realised that telling the truth was more important than protecting her friend. I’m proud of her.’
Avril considered his words. And slowly, she began to see it from his perspective. This was not Stuart burying his head in the sand; this was Stuart seeing the best in their daughter. And this was the man whose steadiness had held their family together the first time, when Avril had descended into chaos, a nervous wreck unable to cope.
She loved him, she realised. She always had, it was just that somewhere along the way that love had got buried under layers of other emotions, temporarily suffocating it.
‘She still needs to be punished, though,’ she told him.
‘Yes, but nothing drastic. Grounded for two weeks and an apology to Lily and Eric?’
‘Agreed.’
They had made the decision together and Stuart’s willingness to talk to her about what had happened meant that she no longer felt alone. Despite Poppy’s disappearance and the damage that it had caused, a warmth had spread over her then. She had repaired her relationship with Bethany, and Stuart too. They were a family and that had enabled them to withstand the hurricane of the past few days. They had held firm, together. And she had made a promise to herself then that she would never think of reading her daughter’s journal again.
But she couldn’t stop thinking about Lily. She had to try and speak to her, even if it was for the last time. If Lily wanted nothing to do with her then so be it. Avril would, eventually, make peace with that. But she couldn’t do that until she had at least tried.
She knocked on the door, nerves churning her stomach. And she waited.
But it was Poppy who answered the door, not her mother.
‘Hi, Avril.’
‘Poppy, it’s so good to see you. How are you?’
‘Good. How’s Bethany?’
‘She’s fine, thanks, love.’ Avril hesitated. ‘She misses you.’
‘I’ll text her soon. I’ve been busy, looking after Mum.’
Avril frowned. Why would Poppy be looking after Lily? Shouldn’t it be the other way around?
‘Is your mum in?’
‘She’s upstairs. Mum!’
Avril stood awkwardly in the hallway, afraid to go any further in case Lily ordered her to leave. When Lily finally emerged, her face was guarded but not hostile.
‘Avril, darling.’ Lily leaned forward to kiss Avril on both cheeks. When she pulled away Avril noticed how thin she looked, even thinner than usual. And her usually immaculate face was stripped of make-up. She was still beautiful though. She would always be beautiful.
‘Lily, I…’
‘Coffee?’
‘Um, okay, yes, please.’
Avril followed Lily into the kitchen and saw detritus all over the countertop, mixing bowls, spoons, whisks and broken eggs.
‘Poppy and I were baking a cake,’ Lily said, placing some bowls in the sink.
Avril couldn’t imagine Poppy baking with her mother. Everything about this scene felt off but she couldn’t put her finger on what it was, what she was missing.
‘How are you, Lily? How’s Poppy?’
‘We’re good,’ Lily replied, flicking on the coffee machine.
‘Lily, I don’t know where to start.’
Lily turned then and looked at her, her expression remorseful. ‘I’m so sorry, Avril.’
Avril frowned. She hadn’t been expecting that. ‘You are?’
‘Yes. For all those awful things I said about Bethany.’
‘I’m sorry too. For the things I said back.’
The two women smiled at each other, and Avril felt the tension seep out of the room.
‘Poppy and I have talked a lot over the past few days. Not only do I know that Bethany had nothing to do with her running away, but I also know that she didn’t do anything wrong at her old school. Poppy’s explained everything. Poor, poor Bethany.’
‘Weston Abbey has rescinded the scholarship offer.’
Lily’s nostrils flared with indignation, a sign that the old Lily was still there somewhere. ‘That’s outrageous. I’ll smooth this over, I’ll call them first thing on Monday.’
‘Thanks, Lily but it’s okay. Bethany’s fine with it. She wants to stay put.’
‘But all those art facilities…’
‘I know, but she’s happy where she is. She has friends and she’s settled.’
Lily looked like she was about to argue, but then she said, ‘I’m divorcing Eric.’
Avril stared at her, stunned. ‘Excuse me?’
‘I’m divorcing Eric.’
‘Lily, I’m so sorry.’
‘Don’t be, I’m not.’
‘What happened?’
Lily waved a hand dismissively. ‘Oh, you know, the usual story. Affairs, lies, deceit. Poppy caught him in flagrante and that was the final straw.’
‘Oh my God. I can’t believe it. You two always seemed so happy.’
‘Yes, well, appearances can be deceptive, can’t they.’
‘Is that why Poppy ran away?’
‘Yes. He was trying to bribe her with expensive gifts, the bastard, but it all got too much for her. So, you see, I tried to blame everyone else, but the problem lay at home all along.’
‘None of this is your fault, Lily.’
‘Well, I don’t know about that, but things are going to be very different from now on.’
Avril’s heart broke for Lily. She was putting on a brave face, but Avril knew how much she must be hurting. This was a woman in pain, a woman who had been humiliated. A woman who cared acutely what other people thought and would now have to ignore the gossip and rebuild her life. But Avril also knew that if anyone could do it, it was Lily.
Lily looked at her then, her face creased with concern. ‘Are we okay, Avril?’
‘We’re more than okay. And if there’s anything I can do, anything at all, let me know.’
Avril took a sip of her coffee, enjoying the familiarity of being in Lily’s kitchen again. There was a way back for them after all, a way to restore their friendship and the life they had built at Westford Park. She would be there for Lily, she could be the support that her friend needed as she navigated the rocky path ahead. Then she had a horrible thought.
‘You are staying, aren’t you? You’re not selling the house because of the divorce?’
‘Of course I’m staying. Eric will sign the house over to me, don’t you worry. He won’t give me any trouble with the divorce, and if he does, I have my little dossier.’
Avril frowned. ‘What dossier?’
‘I’ve been keeping tabs on him for a while now, just in case. I think I knew, deep down, that I was going to need it at some point, when I was ready. I just wish I’d done something sooner so that Poppy didn’t have to go through what she did.’
Avril was aghast. ‘How long have you known about this?’
‘Years,’ Lily admitted. ‘Feel free to judge me, I judge myself.’
‘I don’t judge you, but it must have been so difficult for you to accept.’
‘It wasn’t, strangely enough. It was easier to brush it all under the carpet and pretend it wasn’t happening. But I see now that I handled it all wrong. Never again.’ Lily tapped her back pocket. ‘And I have my ammunition, if he puts one foot wrong.’
‘You wouldn’t use it though, would you?’
‘Only if he makes me. It’s always good to have a little something in your back pocket, darling. For a rainy day.’
‘Are you going to be okay, Lily?’
‘I’ll be fine. I’ll get plenty of money in the divorce and I’m going to keep growing my events business. I plan to stand on my own two feet eventually.’
‘I’m sure you will sooner than you think. How’s Poppy?’
‘She’s good. We’re talking a lot and being honest with each other. And,’ Lily leaned forward conspiratorially, ‘she hasn’t called me “Mother” once.’
‘Wow, you’ve really turned a corner.’
‘I hope so. There’s a lot of hurt, a lot of anger. A lot of guilt on my part. But we’re working through it. I’ve nearly lost her twice, I won’t lose her again.’
Lily’s voice shook and Avril reached out and put a hand over hers.
‘Poppy came home. Remember that she came home to you.’
Lily smiled as a single tear dropped. ‘She did.’ And then she quickly wiped it away and started fussing with the coffee machine. ‘Another?’
‘Sure, why not. By the way, have you spoken to Sandy?’
‘No, not for a while.’
‘So, you haven’t heard?’
‘Heard what?’
‘Grant was in a crash. He was driving too fast down a country road and his lorry jackknifed on a bend. He died at the scene.’
Lily spun around to face her. ‘Are you serious?’
‘Yes. It’s been all over the local news.’
‘My God. How is she?’
‘In shock. I mean, it’s awful, of course, but she’s free, Lily. She’s finally free.’
‘Yes, but it also means that Micky’s father is dead.’
Avril looked down, guiltily. ‘I know. But he wasn’t a good man.’
Lily abandoned the coffee and slumped on a bar stool opposite Avril. ‘I don’t know what to think. Should I be happy? Sad?’
‘It’s okay to be confused. That’s how Sandy feels, I think. But when the dust settles, I hope that it will finally give her the closure she’s always craved.’
Avril looked up as Poppy appeared. ‘I’m starving, Mum. What’s for lunch?’
‘I’ll make a salad. Avril, will you join us?’
‘No thanks, I need to get back.’
Poppy sat down next to Avril. ‘Tell Bethany I’ll pop over this afternoon.’
Avril saw the tiny pause in Lily’s actions, an almost imperceptible hesitation, before she turned with a broad smile. ‘What a lovely idea! Send her my love.’
‘She’s grounded,’ Avril warned. ‘But you’re welcome to go and see her.’
Poppy considered this. ‘How long for?’
‘She has just over a week left.’
‘And after that?’
Avril and Lily looked at each other. ‘No going to the woods at night,’ Avril said, and Lily nodded her agreement. ‘And no boathouse or dens.’
Poppy shrugged. ‘It was getting boring anyway. Mum was on about getting a summer house built at the end of the garden for us.’
Lily was already reaching for her phone. ‘I’ll do some research.’
It all felt so normal, but it was far from it, no matter how hard they tried to pretend it was. Too much had happened and there would be shock waves for a long time to come. Eric was gone. Steve too. Sandy and Micky had to come to terms with what had happened to Grant. The teenagers would have to earn the adults’ trust again and that wouldn’t happen overnight.
But still, Avril felt hopeful. They had been through the worst and now they were emerging on the other side. They would rebuild together, she decided. Because while Westford Park had brought each of them pain, while it had pushed them to their limits, it had also given them friendship. The Westford Park Ladies Club. No more secrets, no more accusations. Just loyalty and support. Perhaps they could learn a lesson or two from their children on that, she thought with a smile.
Speaking of the children, she needed to get back. She had promised to take Tom shopping for a new football kit and she might see if Bethany wanted to come along because she was bored of being stuck at home. Soon the kids would be back to school and clubs, and Bethany would be un-grounded, so she wanted to spend as much time with them while she could. They may not be the perfect family, but it was everything Avril had ever wanted. The life and the home that they had created here was more than enough.
She stood up, watching Poppy and Lily together in the kitchen, two peas in a pod. Lily sliced a cucumber and gave a stick to her daughter. For a moment she imagined herself walking across the road and finding Stuart waiting for her. Looking at her husband with affection and saying, ‘You know, Stuart, moving to Westford Park was the best decision we ever made.’
And him smiling, and replying, ‘Bloody right it was.’
33
They walked side by side, the three teenagers, not children any more, not yet adults either. Poppy was in the middle, her long, glossy hair tied back, her make-up perfect despite the rain. To her left was Micky, tall and gangly, his long hair wet against his forehead. On the right was Bethany, huddled under the hood of her raincoat, her wellies squelching in the mud.
Winter had come to Westford Park and the bleak woods mirrored their mood, for the occasion was sombre. As they weaved through the trees, they didn’t need to ask each other where they were going because they all knew. It would end where it began.
They reached the den that they had managed to conceal for months, while their unsuspecting parents thought they were cosy in the boathouse. They had ditched the boathouse because it had got too popular with the other teenagers at Westford Park and they wanted to be alone. Anyway, as friendly as Steve was, he was a bit of a creep. He was always hanging around them, trying to impress them with his knowledge of the woods, inviting Poppy over when Kerry was working. So, they had created their own, private hideaway. They rarely came now, but today was ceremonious and they all wanted to go for one last time.
Micky crouched down and fished out a lighter, trying to start a fire on the pile of twigs they’d collected. But they were too damp.
‘Dammit,’ he said.
‘Micky.’ Bethany put a hand on his arm. ‘Leave it. It’s not going to work.’
Instead, they went into the makeshift tepee, sitting down on the logs they’d placed inside to sit on. They huddled together, shivering, but at least it was dry.
Micky reached into his coat and pulled out the bottle of wine he’d swiped from home and Bethany handed out some crisps and chocolate.
‘The last supper,’ Micky said as he took a deep drink, before passing the bottle on.
‘This is so shit,’ said Poppy, taking the wine and putting it to her mouth.
‘Agreed,’ said Bethany, licking salt from her fingers.
Sandy and Clare had sold the house in record time. Apparently, properties in Westford Park were in demand, particularly when they were priced sensibly. A family with young children had bought it and they were moving the following day. Micky would finish his A levels at a college in Manchester where he didn’t know anyone. After that, he was leaving home for good. He would finally make his own decisions, no longer a slave to other people’s.
The three of them had discussed it in great depth. Why Sandy and Clare would want to move house again when the threat of Micky’s father was finally gone. When they had sat Micky down to tell him they were selling, they had said it was because they wanted to live in a city again. It was too isolated at Westford Park, they’d explained. They missed the buzz of city life. They had found a wonderful school for Isla and a great college for Micky. There was a good university too, so Micky could even apply to study there and live at home, if he wanted to. The new house was perfect. This was the final time. Blah, blah, blah.
It was all bullshit.
Micky knew about his father. He’d known for years. His grandmother had told him, sitting next to him on the bench in their garden one sunny afternoon when Sandy was in the hospital having Isla. She had shown him the press cuttings, pointing at a sentence that referred to a boy being abducted.
‘That was you,’ she’d said.
She had wanted him to know so that he didn’t ever try and find his father. So that he knew to raise the alarm if Grant ever tried to contact him. She was afraid for him, and Sandy too, she’d admitted. Then she’d made him promise not to tell his mother.
‘She wants to protect you,’ she’d told him. ‘But you’re old enough to know the truth.’
He’d been thirteen at the time.
He was glad that she had told him, though. It explained a lot of things, like why they had moved house every few years. Why his mum always seemed like she was on edge, checking windows and doors over again and pretending that she wasn’t. And it had killed any burning desire to find out more about his father. But with it, it had also killed his youth and his innocence. Because he finally knew that he was the son of a monster.
He didn’t speak about it to anyone. He kept it all locked away inside and it ate away at him, making him question his family, his mother, himself. And then, when he met Bethany and Poppy at Westford Park, he finally felt safe enough to tell them.
‘He’s a bastard,’ Poppy had spat.
‘You’re nothing like him,’ Bethany had said, her eyes filled with tears.
But, increasingly, Micky had begun to fear that Bethany was wrong. Dark thoughts consumed him more and more and he worried that one day they would spill out of him. He started getting flashbacks, of being with his dad, eating chips by the sea. A police officer approaching him and taking his hand. Crying because he didn’t want to leave his father.
It made him feel guilty, and sad, and disgusting.
When Bethany had heard Micky’s story, a few months after they met, she had wanted to throw her arms around him and never let go. She understood him better than anyone because she knew what it was like to feel fear and shame. To believe that you were a bad person, that you had done wrong, even when you hadn’t. And by then, she had fallen so deeply in love with Micky that she felt his pain as though it was happening to her. She wanted him to know that she understood. That they were kindred spirits.
So, she told him about what had happened at her old school. About how she had been bullied relentlessly for months by a group of girls but had been too afraid and ashamed to tell anyone. And when they had made up those lies about her to get her into trouble, she had refused to deny it because she didn’t think anyone would believe her. The girls had chipped away at her self-esteem and her mother had obliterated it when she had refused to defend her.
