‘Good evening, everyone,’ she smiled, holding up a platter laden with drinks. ‘Please come in – margaritas to start, but there’s water if anybody would prefer.’

  We all gladly took a margarita as we headed through the door.

  If it were anybody else, I would have thought that I was being screwed with, but the inside of the house was already absolutely pristine. Every single piece of furniture, every photo frame, every ornament and decoration, was perfectly-arranged to a fraction of an inch, all tasteful, tidy and color-coordinated.

  ‘Please don’t feel like you have to be on the edge of your seat in here,’ she smiled warmly. ‘I know it might look like I’m a tad obsessive, but it’s just Kouvei habits. You never quite shake them.’

  ‘Oh, there won’t be any worrying about sitting on the edge of my seat,’ Sophie smiled politely. ‘Because I won’t be sitting down. I don’t want to crease anything.’

  ‘No,’ Katie laughed, ‘Please – crease, spill and rearrange to your hearts’ contents. It’ll give me something to do later.’

  ‘Some wine,’ I said, handing over the bottle I’d brought with me. ‘The guy at the store recommended this.’

  ‘Excellent choice,’ Katie smiled, taking it.

  ‘Would you say that even if it sucked?’

  ‘Sure, but this one genuinely doesn’t,’ she laughed.

  ‘I don’t drink wine so I wouldn’t know.’

  ‘Thank you so much either way.’

  ‘Do you want a hand in the kitchen, or…?’

  Katie stopped in her tracks and spun around to frown at me like I had just insulted her entire existence.

  ‘Did I say something?’ I asked.

  ‘He didn’t mean that,’ Victoria cut in quickly. ‘He just doesn’t know how things are.’

  ‘Okay,’ Katie nodded with understanding, as if I was apologizing for calling her every name under the sun. ‘You guys take a seat, and I’ll be right back.’

  Katie took off through the swinging kitchen door and I headed to the table.

  ‘What did I do?’

  ‘You never offer a Kouvei maid assistance with their task, no matter what it is,’ Victoria whispered, ‘It’s considered the ultimate insult.’

  ‘Because…?’

  ‘Because they’re absolute masters of whatever craft they choose to take on, and they take a lot of pride in that. Every other area they treat with perfect normality, but not this. Just let her get on with what she’s doing.’

  I caught a glimpse through to the kitchen where Katie worked at a pace that was somehow both smooth and insanely fast.

  Her movements were a perfectly synchronized masterpiece of multitasking, and not for one second did she look out of breath or overwhelmed by any of it. It felt like I was peering behind the veil of one of the greatest mysteries in the world.

  We all took a seat at the lavishly-prepared dinner table. After the entrance into the house, the interior and the reaction I had gotten from Katie about even the thought of helping her out with dinner prep, I didn’t want to touch anything around the table.

  I had never had a new neighbor move in before, and I wanted to make a good impression – at least a better one than I had as the jackass at number 47 to several of the folks around.

  A few minutes later she emerged from the kitchen carrying an enormous platter, which she set down in a perfectly-sized spot in the center of the table.

  ‘Sorry about that,’ she sighed with a smile. ‘I’m about thirty seconds later than I intended. This is not like me at all. Anyway, voila.’

  Katie removed the lid from the platter, unleashing a brief cloud of steam and unveiling an incredibly complex medley of finely-arranged ingredients.

  ‘Chicken skewers with a honey drizzle, marinated in lemon zest, white wine and just a touch of garlic. At the edges we’ve got plum and mango rosettes – I’d recommend the plums second and the mangos last, with the skewers in between. Finally, and this is for starters – mentioned last so that it’s freshest in your minds, of course – we have a choice between smoked salmon with cream cheese, or seasoned cucumber with a simple feta dip, lightly infused with pepper and a touch of rosemary.’

  Katie smiled around at us all with that charming look. The rest of us only had awe on our sides.

  Surani glanced around at us all before clapping ridiculously slowly, not a hint of embarrassment or shame on her face.

  ‘This is what you’re supposed to do when presented with something impressive, no?’ She asked.

  ‘I wouldn’t usually applaud for dinner, but I can’t disagree,’ I smiled, joining her, as the rest of my girlfriends did the same.

  ‘Thank you kindly,’ Katie smiled.

  ‘Any magic in the food?’ Victoria asked.

  ‘Unfortunately not, but-’

  ‘You’re my hero,’ Victoria smiled, ‘I confess that I’m not a fan.’

  ‘Because she’s boring,’ Sophie replied. ‘I love magic in my food.’

  ‘It’s hit and miss,’ Katie shrugged, taking off her apron and seating herself smoothly at the table. ‘Sometimes it comes across as clever, other times it’s just tacky.’

  ‘Yes, this is exactly what I say,’ Victoria agreed.

  We all waited with our hands in our laps. Katie glanced around at us uneasily.

  ‘Did I do something wrong?’ The bunny-eared maid asked.

  ‘I think…’ Jessica trailed off, ‘Everybody’s just wondering when it’s okay to start. I’ve met Kouvei before, and I was more intimidated than I have been in my whole life. I swear I even heard her tell her boss to stand up straight at one point - and he did it.’

  ‘That doesn’t surprise me. Some of us are closer to the military style in the Mage Corps… Maybe even worse. It attracts a particular type.’

  ‘Granted you’re a lot more easy-going compared to her, but you hear Kouvei, you think that.’

  ‘When we go through training there’s a lot expected of us,’ Katie spoke, ‘Even if our high standards end up slipping a little over time, the slipped version still ends up being heightened.

  ‘I’m sorry for almost biting your head off back there, Trent,’ she added, looking my way, ‘Curse of my training. Like I said, I just try to keep my skills and me separate, but sometimes one spills over into the other.’

  It was like dealing with two entirely different people, but they both understood each other.

  ‘It’s no harm, really,’ I smiled. ‘It happens to me too, sometimes.’

  ‘Yeah?’

  ‘Ten hours a day running around in the dark killing stuff can have an effect on even the hardiest mind.’

  ‘I’ll bet,’ she smiled, glancing around the table. ‘Oh, and just so that we can get any awkwardness out of the way, I know.’

  My girlfriends all glanced over - except for Surani.

  ‘Yeah, she does,’ I said. ‘Guessed everything about me the moment we met.’

  ‘Admittedly it was a guess,’ Katie smiled politely, ‘None of you have to worry, I won’t say a word about Trent here. I might not serve anybody around here in the immediate area, but my loyalty still extends to you. Absolute silence and confidentiality.’

  ‘Hero,’ Eva smiled, ‘It’s awesome living here, and we don’t want news vans.’

  ‘Neither do I,’ Katie smiled.

  ‘Do you still have to maintain the standards while working here even though you’re out of sight of the Kouvei?’ Jessica asked. ‘As in your upper management, for lack of a better way to put it.’

  ‘The people who hire us? There’s… Kind of an expectation of perfection. The only people who can afford to hire us are ones who get really picky about that kind of thing.’

  ‘That sounds like… A really stupid and unnecessary way to live,’ Sophie remarked.

  ‘Officially I have no comment,’ Katie smiled, ‘Unofficially, I couldn’t agree with you more. But hey, they’re weird and they want to pay us a lot to take care of their homes, so who am I to complain?’

  ‘Cheers to that,’ Victoria smiled, raising a glass.

  ‘Hear, hear,’ Katie laughed.

  We raised our glasses, took a drink and enjoyed our meals.

  ‘So what do you do when you’re not working?’ Eva asked.

  ‘Try to claw back some of the passion I had for all of the stuff involved in my work that I had a real passion for in the first place but lost because I do it at work all the time… If you’re asking honestly.’

  ‘No, I know that feeling,’ Sophie replied. ‘I’m in academia. High Mage status now – not that I’m bragging – and it was a slog to get to a point where I could focus on the projects I wanted to focus on. Can really take the steam out of you.’

  ‘I’ve got to confess ,’ Katie spoke, ‘I saw you on TV.’

  Sophie glanced up from her food, the fork halfway to her mouth.

  ‘You… What?’ Sophie laughed awkwardly, her blonde, furred ears suddenly standing on end. ‘Seriously?’

  ‘Yeah, on that late-night talk show thing.’

  ‘Please, talk-show makes it sound like people were actually watching,’ Sophie smiled, her cheeks going a little red, ‘It was a snooty show for fake intellectuals. Anyway, what were you doing watching something like that?’

  ‘Wo-o-ow,’ Victoria laughed.

  ‘Oh, no, I didn’t mean it like that,’ Sophie replied quickly with an embarrassed smile, ‘I just mean it’s not exactly fun-watching.’

  ‘I catch that kind of thing in the background while I’m working at certain places. People leave their TVs on.’

  ‘If you start hanging out with us, you’ll definitely find that to be the case,’ Eva added, taking a sip of her drink.

  My girlfriends and I enjoyed the rest of dinner and stuck around for another drink afterwards before taking off. Katie definitely seemed the high-functioning type, and we didn’t want to overstay our welcome.

  While they headed off next door, I briefly stuck around on the porch.

  ‘Well, I’m sure we’ll see you around,’ I nodded, ‘Thanks for dinner, it was delicious.’

  ‘My absolute pleasure,’ she smiled.

  ‘If your maid service is that good then I might have to think about hiring you.’

  ‘I don’t get involved with people who live within a one-mile radius,’ Katie replied politely. ‘Prefer to keep my personal life and my professional life separate, if you know what I mean.’

  ‘That’s got to make things pretty difficult being a maid, right?’

  ‘No, all the biggest properties are at the edge of town – old mansions and the like. Like I said, they’re the only people interested in hiring us.’

  ‘That’s a pity, it would have been nice to see more of you…’ I clenched my eyes shut after realizing what I had said, ‘Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. I meant to see you around here more.’

  ‘Are you nervous, Trent?’ She asked smoothly.

  I took a beat. ‘Excuse me?’

  ‘Around your girlfriends you seem fine. Around me you seem a little edgy.’

  ‘… That’s forward of you.’

  ‘I’m not implying that you’re nervous because you like me or anything,’ she smiled, folding her arms and glancing between my eyes. ‘Besides, I think you’ve got enough girlfriends to spend time with.’

  ‘It’s a busy life, and I’m perfectly fine with that.’

  ‘I’ll bet again on that… They’re very beautiful.’

  ‘Makes me wonder what it is that they see in a complete jackass like me.’

  ‘It’s definitely the scars, the muscles, the badass living among the civilized folk kind of thing,’ Katie smiled. ‘And the slight penchant for danger.’

  ‘In that case I’ll make sure to stay out of your way,’ I nodded with an equally knowing smile, ‘As much as I try to stay out of trouble, it tends to follow me, and it might make a real mess of your carefully-curated life.’

  ‘I’m sure I can handle it,’ she shrugged with a flirtatious smile. ‘Goodnight.’

  Chapter 11

  Suburban Jungle

  The morning after Katie’s dinner, I could barely get out of bed, and it wasn’t because of the touch of my girlfriends around me. Everything hurt.

  I relaxed for a little while, enjoying their presence, the sheer sight of their beauty.

  Another day in paradise, except for the fact that my body felt like a lead weight.

  Wincing my way across the room, I crossed to my walk-in closet and grabbed my robe.

  I headed downstairs half-awake, tying up my robe as I went. By the time I arrived in the living room the robe was hanging half open, the knot refusing to stay tied.

  In my tiredness and frustration I ripped it open, messily fumbled out of the robe and tossed it across the room, leaving me wearing nothing but my boxer shorts.

  It was the same reason I rarely ever summoned my traditional warlock’s attire; I needed room to move, and I hated feeling restrained.

  And in the privacy of my own home, I was going to dress however I pleased.

  Still half-awake and aching fiercely, I headed to the garage and descended the steps into the spa. After a quick shower I hopped into the rocky pool, letting the warm water soothe my body for a while.

  Combined with a short stint in the sauna, my body actually started to feel better, but I was still exhausted.

  ‘Nope, not falling asleep in a sauna,’ I muttered to myself, managing to make it back upstairs. I staggered into the kitchen and turned on the coffee pot, rubbing my eyes groggily and yawning as it prepped.

  Thankfully the kitchen was still dark, alleviating the glare of the sun outside.

  In fact, the whole house was still pretty dark, as if dawn was barely upon us.

  I checked my watch. 9:32am. It should have been way brighter.

  Watch must have stopped last night.

  I checked the clock on the oven and saw the same time.

  ‘Huh…’ I frowned. ‘That’s weird.’

  I headed back into the living room and found the situation the same. Frustrated by my robe, I hadn’t even noticed.

  I returned to the kitchen, waking up a little more, and reached for the curtains to pull them wide.

  I touched the glass first, but no material.

  Where did the curtains go?

  No, I’m still asleep.

  Fortunately I had a solution to this.

  I took a bowl of ice from the dispenser on the refrigerator, dumped it into the sink, poured a bunch of cold water and dunked my face into it for a few moments.

  When I finally pulled my face out of the icy water, I was wide awake. It was an age-old method, but one that only worked if it didn’t become a habit. There was no use in becoming numb to the shock that it offered.

  Fortunately the morning had plenty of shock in store for me.

  I wiped my face dry with a nearby towel and looked back to the window. The curtains were drawn, but it was still dark outside – because grass was pressed to the window.

  ‘Oh, come on…’

  I headed to the back door, pulled the curtain from over it and discovered the same situation. I pulled the door wide and found myself face to face with grass; thick blades of the stuff in their thousands upon thousands, crowding together, having bowed from just off the porch.

  ‘I literally cut this just a couple of days ago… How is this even possible?’

  I was used to the unfettered growth upon the land Surani called her own, but this was unlike anything I had ever seen so far.

  I summoned my spell blade without a thought, keeping it on the lowest power level, and moved to cut it like I had done the first time I had arrived.

  The moment the blade struck, the grass recoiled and swept aside, forming a pathway for me.

  I jolted backwards, looking to it skeptically. It remained bowing either side, then seemed to realize that I wasn’t going anywhere, at least not right now, and returned to its place.

  ‘Okay, that’s weird…’

  I headed back through to the living room, much more awake now – and much more aware of the fact that it was dark in here, too.

  ‘Wait, why is it dark here as well?’

  I pulled my robe back on, grabbed my keys and unlocked the front door. I feared that things would be bad, but this…

  How many times had I pulled a door wide, fearful of stepping from the wide-open world into the impenetrable confines of some underground hellscape filled with monsters that constantly revived and returned every hour?

  Now I was already inside, and on the verge of stepping out into a world that had gone through a couple changes overnight.

  The grass hadn’t managed to make it onto my front porch like it had at the back, but it stood an easy eight-feet high, bowing onto the pathway from either side so heavily that I could barely see the path.

  ‘Woah… Okay…’

  I headed down the porch steps, holding my hand out and expecting the grass to recoil. It didn’t; I produced my blade and raised it. The grass suddenly bowed aside, providing me with a path just the way it had in the backyard.

  I kept the blade raised and moved along the pathway.

  I staggered from the overgrown grass and tripped onto the sidewalk, only just managing to catch myself as I stumbled onto the road. I turned to face my house, barely seeing it over the tops of the grass as I backed from the sidewalk onto the road.

  ‘Okay, this is fine,’ I sighed, ‘But I’m going to need a new mower… At least everybody else’s is taken care of so I can just focus on fixing this, and then…’ I glanced briefly at the front yards either side of mine and did a double-take. ‘Oh, no… No, no, no…’

  It was the same story in Victoria’s front yard at number 45, and Katie’s at number 49, Sadie’s house, Felgrom’s, Eva’s place across the street, the Newhorns a little further down…

  Grass, all of it thick and tall, towering at least eight-feet in the air. Flowerbeds had exploded in color and extravagant growth, swelling tenfold, while the dirt their roots wound into had spilled onto the sidewalk.

  The suburbs had turned into a damned wilderness.

  I set off up the street at a light jog in my dressing gown, bare feet on the road as I looked around at the overgrown lawns. It carried on to the end of the street – and then beyond, spanning across the lawns of every house in the next street.

 

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23