Purrfect nap, p.16
Purrfect Nap, page 16
But… how was that possible? He sat up immediately. “Over here, Fifi!” he cried. “I’m right over here!”
And suddenly there she was: Fifi, his best friend, rounding the corner and heaving into view!
She halted in her tracks for a moment, as if she couldn’t believe her eyes. But then she skipped right up to him, looking as joyful and happy as ever. “Rufus!” she cried as she hopped and jumped and generally behaved like a gamboling puppy. “Oh, there you are!”
“And there you are!” he cried, sniffing her nose and giving it a lick through the chicken wire. Oh joy, oh happy day!
“We have to get you out of this horrible thing,” said Fifi.
“I’ve tried,” he said, “but they’ve got it locked down tight.”
“Don’t you worry, Rufus,” said Fifi. “Vesta is here, and her friend Scarlett, and pretty soon the entire Hampton Cove police force will also be here.”
“And Ted and Marcie?” he said hopefully.
Fifi laughed. “I’m sure they’ll be here, too.”
“Oh, good,” he said. Though secretly he was mostly glad that Fifi was there. But he didn’t tell her, of course. Fifi was his best friend in all the world, and he was too clever to ruin such a beautiful friendship by uttering sentimental slop!
But then Fifi suddenly looked coy. “Rufus?”
“Fifi?”
“I’ve missed you.”
“And I’ve missed you.”
“I was afraid you were… you know.”
“I know,” he said. “But I’m fine.”
“I’m glad. Boy oh boy, am I glad.” For a moment they didn’t speak, only listened to the cats caterwauling, then Fifi said, “Rufus?”
“Fifi?”
“I missed you.”
“And I missed you.”
“No, but I really missed you,” she said, and gave him a meaningful look.
He grinned. “And I really missed you, too.”
And when they rubbed their noses together this time, it was with just a little more fervor than before. It was the beginning of a beautiful affair.
CHAPTER 35
It didn’t take long for Uncle Alec and his officers to arrive on the scene and for our kidnappers to be arrested and carted off. Soon the old farm was the scene of a happy reunion, with pet parents driving up from far and wide to be reunited with their beloved pets. Marcie Trapper was there, of course, to pick up Rufus, but also Regarda and Ed Cooper, Wilbur Vickery (Kingman’s human), Fido Siniawski (Buster’s human), Father Reilly (Shanille’s human) and so on and so forth.
The list is long, and it would carry me too far to rattle it off in full. Suffice to say that the place turned into a beehive of activity and that tears of joy were plentiful and shed without shame or inhibition. And I have to say that when I was reunited with Odelia, I also got a little emotional. Even Brutus’s eyes were moist when Chase clasped him in his arms, and Harriet blubbered uncontrollably when Marge arrived. And when word reached us that Jackie had been found safe at our local hospital, and had been reunited with her distraught parents, it added to the general atmosphere of relief and the notion that finally all was well with the world again.
“Okay, so we’ve got Johnny and Jerry,” said Chase, who stood discussing the state of affairs with his superior officer. “But where is the guy who snatched Aurelie from her hotel room?”
“Beats me,” said Uncle Alec, scratching his thinning mane. “According to Johnny his name is Gabe, and he wasn’t working alone but answered to someone he referred to as the boss.”
“Gabe, Gabe…” said Chase as he checked his phone. “This wouldn’t be Gabriel Martinez, by any chance, would it?” He glanced over to the Coopers, who stood lavishing their attention on Aurelie, and walked over for a moment. He held out his phone. “Could this be the man who took Aurelie?” he asked, and deliberately held the phone so that Aurelie could see the picture.
The Coopers shrugged. “We never saw him, detective,” said Regarda.
“You should ask this receptionist person,” said Ed.
But Aurelie had studied the picture closely and now nodded. “Yep, that’s him,” she said. “That’s the uncouth miscreant who manhandled me and refused to clean out my litter box! I hope you catch him and teach him a lesson, sir!”
And so I nodded to Chase, who gave me a wink. Walking back to Uncle Alec, he whispered, “We make a good team, don’t we, Max?”
“We sure do,” I confirmed. Now if he would just learn our language already!
“Okay, so it’s him,” said Chase as he joined Uncle Alec.
“I’ll send out an APB,” said Uncle Alec, and grabbed for his phone.
Suddenly a loud yell came from the farmhouse, and when we looked up, we saw that one of Uncle Alec’s officers was waving us over. He was standing next to an old water well. Part of the well had collapsed, but judging from the way the officer stood looking down, it wasn’t blocked.
“There’s a body down there,” the officer announced, and shone a flashlight so his boss could verify this statement.
Uncle Alec took a glance at the spot indicated and winced. “Looks like our friend Gabe didn’t make it.”
“It’s him?” asked Chase as he bent over to take a peek. “Ouch,” he said once he had. “Is that…” He narrowed his eyes. “Can you shine that light over there, buddy?” Once the officer had, he pointed down. “See?”
“Oh, yeah, I see it now,” Uncle Alec confirmed.
“What is it?” asked Odelia, who had joined us.
“He’s got a neat little hole in his forehead,” said Uncle Alec. “And if I’m not mistaken, that just might be a bullet hole.”
“So he was murdered?”
“That would be my conclusion.” He stepped back from the abyss. “I better call Abe,” he said, referring to the county coroner. “Looks like we’ve got a murder on our hands, people.”
“Falling out among thieves?” Chase suggested.
Uncle Alec nodded, but then the call connected and he walked away to apprise Abe Cornwall of recent events.
“You don’t think Johnny and Jerry did this, do you?” asked Odelia. “They’re thieves and kidnappers, but not murderers, surely?”
Chase shrugged. “Too soon to tell, babe, but I don’t see anyone else around, do you?”
And so all of a sudden our kidnapping case had turned into a murder case. And just when I was looking forward to finally enjoying that long-desired nap!
Harriet and Brutus came sidling up to us. “That was a pretty solid idea you had in there, Max,” said Brutus. “To sing our way to freedom.”
“Well, it seemed only logical when the entire cat choir was locked up to use our secret weapon to create a distraction,” I said, referring to Harriet’s powerful soprano voice.
“I hope I didn’t overdo it,” said Harriet modestly. “I have to say I found the experience exhilarating. Like a performance at the Metropolitan Opera, you know, or Madison Square Garden.”
“You definitely generated the same amplification,” I said. Though confined to such a small space, her voice had probably cracked the paint on the walls. It certainly served to cause some serious pressure on the eardrums of all those present, first and foremost our abductors, which was the whole idea, after all.
“Why are Chase and Odelia looking down that well?” asked Brutus.
“There’s a body down there,” Dooley announced. “He’s been murdered!”
“Murdered!” Harriet said, taken aback by this piece of news. “But who is he?”
“Gabriel Martinez,” I said. “He’s the man who organized these kidnappings, and Chase thinks Johnny and Jerry might be behind the murder.”
“I knew they were bad,” said Harriet with a look of distaste. “But I didn’t know they were this bad!”
“It may have been someone else,” I said, but Harriet wasn’t having any of that.
“Oh, no. If Chase says it was them, it must be them. He’s the detective, and I trust his judgment. And also,” she added on a slightly simpering note, “he saved us from this ordeal. He’s such a hero.”
I could have told her that it was actually Fifi who saved the day, but she was already sashaying over to Chase, to rub against his leg.
“Looks like it’s case closed, eh, Max?” said Brutus. “What a day,” he added, shaking his head. “What a day!”
“You can say that again,” I agreed, and yawned. When I had finished, I saw that he was regarding me sharply. “What?”
“So about that Master Soporific Word,” he began.
“Oh, not now, Brutus!” I said. “I just went through this great ordeal!”
“We all went through this great ordeal, Max. And now I would like to get some sleep. So how about it? Have you finally remembered?”
“I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’ve been a little busy today.”
“You were locked up in there for hours, Max!” he cried. “You had plenty of time to remember. So what is it? What’s the magic word?”
“Lollygag, all right!” I said, spitting out the first word that came to mind.
He blinked. “Lollygag?”
“That’s right. Lollygag.”
“So if I keep repeating that word I’ll fall asleep?”
“Absolutely. You have my personal guarantee.”
“A personal guarantee from Max means something,” he said, and gave me a grateful nod. “Why, thanks, buddy. I’m going to try it straight away.” He clapped me on the shoulder. “I knew you’d come through. Harriet figured this soporific word stuff was probably a load of nonsense, but I told her that if Max says this word exists, it exists.” And with these words, he walked off in the direction of Odelia’s car, presumably to curl up on the backseat and lollygag himself to sleep.
I gulped a little, then told Dooley, “Maybe it’s time to go home.”
“Great. Let’s hop into Odelia’s car so she can drive us.”
“Let’s walk,” I suggested. “I feel like walking.”
“But why walk if Odelia can drive us?”
“It’s a beautiful night,” I said, gesturing to the sky. “The moon… the stars… And besides, walking is good for you. Slimming, and inducive to good health.”
“But…”
“Dooley, if Brutus finds out that my so-called soporific word doesn’t work, he won’t be too well pleased. And frankly I don’t want to be around when he does find out, do you?”
Dooley’s eyes went a little wider, then he started walking at a rapid pace.
“Not that way!” I called after him. “This way!”
“Gotcha!” he said, and so together we set out to put as much distance between ourselves and Brutus as felinely possible!
CHAPTER 36
Night had fallen, darkness had descended on the backyard of Ted and Marcie Trapper and not a soul stirred. Or did it? For suddenly the soft sound of a footfall could be heard, disturbing the quiet of the night. An intruder had entered the backyard, and stood regarding the Trappers’ domain, a look of determination on his face. In his hands, the intruder clasped a sledgehammer, and as he approached Robert Parker, Ted Trapper’s prize gnome and the pride of his collection, the hammer was heaved high, and for a moment hung suspended in the air.
All nature held its breath, and the next moment the hammer came down with a loud crash on the gnome’s head, reducing the plaster creature to a pile of dusty fragments of what once had been a proud gnome.
Oddly enough, the moment the hammer struck, there was an echo. The intruder looked up from his vile work and listened attentively. But when nothing more could be heard, he figured it must have been the work of his imagination.
He eyed his destructive work with a smile of satisfaction, then hoisted the sledgehammer from the rubble and returned whence he came. And as he made his way across the hedge, it was almost as if he could sense a presence nearby. So he halted, and waited, and listened again. But when nothing stirred, he carried on, and soon was in bed, wondering where his wife could have gone off to.
The next morning, bright and early, Tex opened his eyes and blinked against the light streaming in from the window. Marge was back and lying right next to him. She stirred, and he kissed the top of her head.
“Gorgeous day,” he announced happily. It was the day of the Gnome of the Year contest, and he had an idea he just might be a real contender. At any rate, he knew who wasn’t a contender: his next-door neighbor Ted!
“You’re looking happy this morning,” said Marge as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes.
“You weren’t in bed last night when I went to sleep,” he said. “Up late?”
“I got a call from Odelia. They found the cats.”
“They found the cats! Oh, but that’s great, honey!”
He had been vaguely aware that some cats had gone missing, but frankly he’d had so much on his mind that he hadn’t paid a lot of attention. But if Marge was happy, he was happy. Oh, this day was getting better every minute!
“I was looking for you,” said Marge, sitting up. “Where were you?”
“Out,” he said curtly. “At Costco. I needed some gardening tools.”
“Oh, that’s right. Your big contest. That’s today, right?”
He smiled a bright smile. “Indeed it is, treasure of my being. And I won’t conceal from you the fact that I just might be a real contender.”
“Of course you are. I keep telling you, Tex, you just have to keep the faith.”
He laughed a careless little laugh.
“What?” she asked.
“Oh, nothing. Just that a person needs a little more than faith to win in a big competition like this. One needs a plan!”
“What plan?” she asked, a frown suddenly marring her brow. When he didn’t respond, she said, “Tex, what did you do?”
“Nothing. Just tipping the odds in my favor a smidgen.”
“Tex, now you’re scaring me—what did you do?”
“Something I should have done a long time ago.”
“You didn’t do anything foolish, did you?”
“I did something very smart—and heroic. After all, when someone strikes at the heart of your domain, you have to strike back and—Aargh!”
He had hopped from the bed and had moved over to the window. The moment he threw the curtains wide, the first thing he saw was Norbert—or at least what was left of Norbert: nothing but a pile of dust!
“Honey!” Marge cried, and quickly joined him at the window.
“N-N-N-Norbert!” Tex stuttered, shocked to the core.
“Where is he?” asked Marge.
“He’s gone! Destroyed!” Instantly his mood went from jubilant to shocked to enraged. “Ted! He did this! But I’ll show him!”
“Looks like someone already did,” said Marge, and pointed to where Ted’s prime gnome Robert Parker had stood. Now all that remained was a little collection of dust and colorful shards. She patted her husband on the back. “A gnome for a gnome. Are you sure you and Ted aren’t secretly identical twins?”
And with a smile she put on her dressing gown and trotted down the stairs.
So that was the echo he heard last night. At the exact same time he was destroying Robert Parker, Ted was taking a whack at poor Norbert!
And as he was staring from Robert Parker to Norbert and back again, his neighbor appeared, sadly glanced down at the remnants of his precious gnome, then up at Tex, his face working furiously.
Their eyes met, and Tex saw that Ted knew, just as he knew.
Suddenly the doorbell rang, and he jerked his head up.
It was the jury. They were early. Not that it mattered. Without Norbert to lead the pack he didn’t stand a chance. There was one consolation, though: without Robert Parker, Ted didn’t stand a chance either.
In other words: mutual assured destruction.
CHAPTER 37
Jerry wasn’t happy, and neither was Johnny, though the latter had a way of looking at things that bordered on the philosophical. The two crooks were locked up in the slammer, and had just been through a grueling two-hour interrogation.
“I’m sure it’ll all work out,” the big guy said as he intertwined his fingers on his big belly and relaxed. He liked prison. It was like a second home to him.
“Work out?!” Jerry cried. “What are you talking about? We’re in prison, Johnny! In prison! And now they’re trying to pin a murder on us!”
“Oh, I’m sure that’s just a big coincidence,” said Johnny, which was exactly what he had told that nice Chase Kingsley, Marge’s son-in-law.
“A coincidence! The guy is dead! Murdered!”
“I don’t think so,” said Johnny. “He probably fell and hit his head.”
“He has a bullet hole in his head, Johnny!”
“I’m sure he doesn’t. Probably a smudge.”
“They dug a bullet out of his skull!”
“Must be a mistake. Even cops make mistakes, you know.” He gave his friend and associate a reassuring smile. “Just you wait and see. They’ll figure out that we got nothing to do with Gabe falling down that well and they’ll let us walk free.”
Jerry stared at him as if he’d lost his mind. “I’m starting to think that you fell down that well and hit your head,” he said nastily.
“Wake me up when breakfast gets here, will you, Jer?” said Johnny, closing his eyes. “I didn’t sleep a wink last night.” And soon the only sounds that could be heard were soft snoring from one corner, and the grinding of teeth from the other.
A meeting had been arranged and was taking place in Uncle Alec’s office, and Dooley and myself had been invited. Or I should probably say that Odelia had inserted us into the office without invitation. Uncle Alec had given us a dirty look but hadn’t said anything. He was probably too tired to bother. Also: we were the recent victims of the heinous crime of kidnapping, so a little leniency on the ‘No Pets Allowed!’ policy was appreciated.
Chase was also there, and he gave those present a quick overview of the results of his interviews with Jerry Vale and Johnny Carew.
