The deepest shore, p.2
The Deepest Shore, page 2
Just then, Isobel’s phone began to ring. ‘There’s your answer. It’s Sadie.’ She tapped the screen and took the call. ‘Hey. All right, I’ll see you soon. Yes. Okay. Bye. Bye.’ Isobel ended the call and gave an apologetic look. ‘It’s hard to get her off the phone once she starts. I always feel bad cutting her off when she’s in the middle of telling me her life story.’
‘What did she say?’ asked Jean.
Isobel put on a gruff, commanding voice. ‘Her ETA is twenty minutes, sah!’
Jean and Dee looked longingly at the lighthouse. Isobel leant over and kissed Jean on the cheek. ‘Take a look while I’m gone and if you like it, grab it! I trust you to make the right decision. Anyway, let’s go home. I need to get ready.’
As they drove away, Dee looked over the back seat and watched the lighthouse grow smaller and smaller. Even though they had only met for a few minutes, she felt like she was leaving an old friend. ‘Can we come back tomorrow?’
‘I don’t see why not,’ said Jean. ‘We need to look before that other family puts an offer on it. They seemed keen, so the sooner the better. I don’t even know how much it is, actually. Remind me to look it up.’
‘How is it that a guy who works in research is so badly organised when he’s at home?’ said Isobel.
‘Well, it’s different. Quantum physics is simple compared to most household paperwork.’
As they turned into the driveway, the warmth of home washed away Dee’s sullen feelings about the lighthouse. If they moved, she would miss the cottage and its endless meadows and forests. She would have to make sure to say goodbye to every blade of grass and bug before they left.
The family got out of the car and walked to the front door. ‘I’ll just grab my case and wait outside. Sadie should be here any minute now,’ said Isobel.
Jean went to open the front door. ‘Huh, something’s wrong.’ He pushed but it wouldn’t move. ‘It must be jammed.’ He slammed against it with his shoulder and it budged marginally. It was blocked.
‘Hold on, hold on,’ said a voice from behind the door.
The family looked at each other. ‘Did you hear something?’ Jean asked. This was confirmed when they heard a dragging sound from inside, followed by a series of thumps. The door opened.
‘Hello there.’
Standing in the doorway was a person, if you could call it such, with bright pink skin, a long wavy snout, and drooping ears. They were just a little shorter than Jean, wearing a white shirt, dark jacket, and a hat. ‘Hey, that’s my suit,’ said Jean. Of all the things he could have said, he felt silly for saying that.
‘This is the residence of the esteemed Doctor Quaggles. How may I help you? Are you selling something?’ The creature doffed his hat and gave them a crooked smile. Dee hid behind her mum’s legs and felt the sinking sensation of someone who knew they were going to get into serious trouble. A car pulled up behind them and honked its horn. The family was so absorbed in the strange situation that they jumped with fright. ‘I don’t have time for this nonsense. I need to get my bag,’ said Isobel.
‘What is this bag thing?’ asked Doctor Quaggles.
Isobel glowered at him. ‘The case in the hallway,’ she said. ‘Don’t make me force my way in.’
Doctor Quaggles turned around and began barking in a less than esteemed voice. ‘Oi, can someone bring that big square thing by the stairs?’
A small pink creature, the same as what Dee found in the meadow, dragged it to the door, tugging as hard as it could with mitten-like hands.
Isobel picked the case up then kissed Jean and Dee. ‘I will let you two handle this one. It should keep you busy for the evening. If you could collect a sample for me too, that would be great.’ She chucked her luggage into the boot of Sadie’s car and climbed in. ‘I love you both!’
The car turned and drove away.
‘How sweet,’ said Doctor Quaggles. ‘I’m not sure why you came here to do that, but it takes all sorts. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have things to do.’
‘Hey, hang on a second. This is our house!’ said Jean.
‘The evidence states otherwise, for you are out there and I am in here.’
Jean snatched the hat from the creature’s head. ‘That’s mine too. What are you?’ He tried not to show it, but Dee could tell her father was scared. It was something she had never seen before. The mental statue she had built of him tilted ever so slightly, shaking just as his legs were then. Her guardian wasn’t meant to be frightened like she was, it wasn’t possible, and that was scary in itself.
‘I’m a person,’ said the creature.
‘What? No, you’re not. I’ve never seen anything like you!’
Doctor Quaggles looked shocked. ‘I am! What makes you think otherwise?’
‘I mean-’ Jean faltered. ‘Are you even a registered GP?’ He stepped forwards, treading on firmer ground. ‘I don’t believe you are. I’m going to check the register of general practitioners.’ He started tapping at a device on his wrist.
Dee had never known her dad to get angry. Through all her troublemaking and mischief, even after the time she flooded the kitchen, he never got angry. No matter how scared she was that he would stomp around like an elephant and shout at her, he always remained calm. He would say he was disappointed and somehow that made it worse. At least she knew where she stood with anger; it was easier to understand. Currently Jean’s quivering legs were betraying his calmness. They were trying to detach from his body and hop away into the forest.
‘You misunderstand. Doctor is my given name,’ said the creature.
‘You mean your actual name is Doctor? That’s a little unusual,’ said Jean.
‘This has been lovely and all, but I really must attend to the little ones. Good day to you.’ As Doctor Quaggles went to close the door, Jean ran forwards and forced his way into the cottage.
‘No, this is my house. I don’t know who you are or where you came from, but frankly I don’t care, just get out!’ Enraged, he grabbed Doctor Quaggles by the collar of his suit, swung him around, and hurled him out of the house. ‘Dee, get inside quickly.’
Dee hesitated, frightened and confused. The person in the doorway, her father, was someone she didn’t know. He was a stranger. When he called her again, she ran inside. He wrapped his arms protectively around her.
They watched Doctor Quaggles who, now no longer atop the kitchen step, looked comically small out in the fields. ‘Kids!’ he shouted and from stairs bounced five pink spheres, which followed him out of the door.
‘What about your suit, Dad?’ whispered Dee in a trembling voice, wanting to say something to make sense of what was happening, but unsure what.
‘I, uh, think I’ll let him keep it,’ said Jean. He then closed the door and locked it.
‘There will be more of us. Humans aren’t the only ones who live in this world!’ cried Quaggles.
‘What does he mean?’ asked Dee.
‘I don’t know. I don’t know what it was. Right now, I need to check all the doors and windows. How did it even get in here?’ Jean sighed. ‘Why did Bel have to leave now of all times?’ Dee watched in silence as her father ran around the room, checking for anything out of the ordinary. ‘It could talk but it’s not human… I’ll need to have a think. Keep your windows closed tonight, understand?’ Dee nodded. The seriousness in her father’s voice had a commanding effect on her. ‘Still, it looks as if nothing was taken. In fact, it looks unusually clean.’ He skidded across the floor. ‘Have they mopped?’
Dee didn’t notice these things. To her it was one of the weird quirks of adults, endlessly obsessing over minute details. While she was playing in nature and watching sunsets, her parents were busy tidying, making phone calls, and endlessly working. Dee hoped she never grew up; she didn’t see the point.
Now the shock of their encounter was beginning to wear off, they both noticed something. Jean sniffed. ‘What’s that smell?’ He returned to the kitchen and saw a pot on the hob. ‘Is that a stew?’
Dee climbed onto a chair and looked out of the window. Doctor Quaggles stood listlessly in the field dressed in a crumpled suit far too big for him. In his arms were the little pink blobs. Jean caught her staring with a sad expression on her face and joined her at the window.
‘Ah, heck,’ said Jean under his breath. ‘This is probably the worst idea I’ll ever have.’ He opened the door. ‘Doctor!’ he called. ‘At least come inside and have something to eat.’ Dee looked at her father, overcome with both puzzlement and awe. He smiled shyly at her as Doctor Quaggles turned and walked back towards the house.
Dinner with Doctor Quaggles
‘It’s ever so kind of you to invite me back into my home,’ said Doctor Quaggles.
‘No, this is our home,’ insisted Jean. ‘I’m only doing this to set an example to my daughter.’ He pointed to a picture on the wall. ‘How can there be pictures of us all over the place if we don’t live here?’
Doctor Quaggles inspected it and shrugged. ‘I don’t know, I thought it was nature photography: wild animals, plants, that sort of thing.’
Jean pointed to another, smaller picture of Dee climbing a tree. ‘And that one?’
‘I thought it was the family pet.’ Doctor Quaggles dragged a chair across the floor and slumped into it, his suit crumpling like a squeezed accordion. Dee and her father watched as he dropped his head down to the dining table and started gnawing at it.
‘What do you think you’re doing?’ said Jean.
Quaggles lifted his head up. ‘Is this not dinner?’
‘Hang on. Didn’t you make that stew on the hob?’
Doctor Quaggles’ face twisted with confusion. ‘It said in a book to put all these things in your metal pot. I thought it made the place smell nice, at least, the onions do. All the other ingredients just spoil it.’
The little pink creatures bounced onto the remaining seats, leaving Dee and Jean standing by the worktops. ‘Well, I’m sure there’s enough for everyone,’ said Jean with uncertainty. ‘Dee, be a good girl and please hand out the cutlery.’
Normally Dee didn’t like doing chores; it was something she mentally filed under Pointless adult stuff. However, something about this strange situation changed her attitude on the subject. Who knew what a person like this would do to her if she didn’t obey? They might have decided to eat her instead. Family pet! She pulled a face.
Without questioning further, Dee gathered a handful of spoons and placed one down in front of each guest. She wondered how the small ones would hold them in their tiny paws and watched as they stuck them in their mouths.
‘These delicacies of yours aren’t up to much. Do you have any more of those onions?’ said Doctor Quaggles.
‘Onions?’ said Jean.
‘Yes, they’re the most delicious things I’ve ever tasted.’
‘Err, well okay.’ Jean was about to retrieve the onions when there was a bang at the door.
‘Hey, why can’t I open this?’ said a voice from outside.
‘You need to press on the handle,’ shouted Quaggles. He turned to Dee and Jean, who both looked baffled. ‘Oh, I should’ve said. How rude of me. I’ve invited guests.’
Dee saw her father twitch.
Most people when faced with something unusual react in one of two ways: either run away or stare at it. Jean’s method of inviting it to dinner was certainly not recommended in all situations. He started to regret his decision as a curved orange nose as tall as him emerged through the door, attached to a humped body framing drooping eyes. The next to follow was a tiny body on long stick legs weighed down by a bush of leafy hair. Between those legs ran a flurry of horned, squat creatures with huge mouths.
It continued like this until the kitchen was so full that the guests spilt into the hallway. Their home had become a menagerie of the weird and wonderful, dreams and fairy tales come to life. The two humans speechlessly watched the walking, sliding, and floating creatures, until the daylight in the window vanished and in its place appeared a giant eye with a rust-coloured iris. ‘Food,’ it said in a slow drone.
Behind them a group of mouse-like creatures clothed in leaves and petals worked together to lift the lid from the biscuit jar, giggling in high-pitched squeaks as they did so. It wasn’t long before Dee’s favourite treats were gone.
‘Hey, where did you find this?’ said a tall, jellybean-like creature to Doctor Quaggles.
‘It’s Not-My-House. We’ve all been invited to dinner.’
‘I didn’t-’ spluttered Jean.
‘So, what we eatin’?’
Feeling utterly out of his depth, Jean hurriedly grabbed every dish out of the cupboards. When he realised there wouldn’t be enough, he collected all the mugs, cups, and pans he could find and began ladling stew into them. His single hope was that if he served dinner quickly then all the guests would be satisfied and leave. He looked at his watch and thought about calling someone for help. There was no chance anyone would believe him. They would think he had lost the plot. What had he done to deserve this?
‘Can I help?’ asked Dee, sensing her father’s discomfort.
‘Just stay close to me.’
‘What’s this?’ growled a creature with a jaw the width of a table and fewer teeth than one. It eyed the bowl of stew with suspicion.
‘Awful, from the looks of it,’ said Quaggles.
‘What? But you made it!’ complained Jean.
‘You got any more of those onions?’
Defeated, Jean wanted to say that they had none and they should all look elsewhere, but with Dee there, she’d know he was lying. To teach her that lying was wrong and then saying that it was okay in some circumstances just wouldn’t cut it. How do you explain that to a child and then expect them to tell the truth to you? No. He knew he was being absurd, but it was a risk he was determined to avoid. A small action is like a chip in a window: while it might be easy to ignore, before you know it you’re looking at a crack spreading out like veins into your life.
Jean opened a cupboard and pulled out a bag of onions. There was a temporary vacuum in the room as the guests sucked the scent in. ‘I’ve never smelled anything like it!’ said a horned creature with spiral eyes.
‘Just wait until you taste one,’ said Doctor Quaggles, drooling pink saliva onto the table.
There was a flash of light and the bowls of stew burst with plumes of smoke. ‘Oops, sorry,’ said a woman. She had blue spotted skin with black thunderclouds circling her head. Tiny bolts of lightning flashed around them. She winced with embarrassment as she determinedly tried to control the storm around her. It wasn’t long before the fire alarm started blaring. With a collective groan, the guests dispersed out of the kitchen and into the other rooms of the house.
‘No, no, no. Not in there!’ Jean ran to the smoking bowls with flower-print oven gloves and threw them out onto the driveway. The sound of smashing crockery rang through Dee’s head.
‘Hey!’ said the giant in a voice that rattled the roof. Tangles of fur covered its huge body. ‘So unfair, Grimble can’t go inside anywhere.’
‘But you must be able to see forever,’ shouted Dee from the doorway, a little scared, but utterly enchanted. She imagined what it would be like to have a cuddly toy that size.
‘That’s true, Grimble sees lots.’ His voice shook the ground and set off the alarm in Jean’s car. ‘It makes up for Grimble not being allowed in school.’
‘Oh!’ Dee had never thought about it like that. She wanted to be a giant too.
‘Grimble tired.’ The giant reached up and grabbed a cloud from the sky. He then plumped it up and lay down, placing it behind his head. He instantly fell asleep. ‘No Mum, I don’t want to go to bed yet,’ he mumbled. Dee was tempted to fall asleep next to him and wrap herself in his fur. If she was a giant, she knew she wouldn’t be afraid of anything.
A light flickered upstairs. ‘My room!’ she gasped and ran back into the house.
‘No Dee, don’t run off!’ cried Jean while putting out the fire on the driveway. He sighed deeply. ‘I wish Bel was here; I’m no good at this.’ As if reading his mind, his phone started to ring. It was Isobel. He collected his thoughts. ‘Answer.’ As desperate as he was, she had an important job to do and he didn’t want to worry her. ‘Hi, honey!’
‘Oh no, what’s wrong?’ said Isobel.
‘What? Nothing’s wrong.’
‘I know you too well for that,’ she said, her voice light. ‘Your voice raises at least half an octave.’
Jean began to panic. ‘No, it’s all under control!’
‘Sometimes I really appreciate that my other half is an atrocious liar. Did you get that horrible thing out of the house?’
‘No, we’re still working on it,’ said Jean.
‘Still? Knowing you – and I know you rather well, I might add – I reckon you managed to kick it out and then, feeling sorry for it, invited it back in for dinner.’
Jean wondered if he really was that predictable. ‘I’m not that daft! How are you getting on, anyway?’
‘We’re almost there. The town we’re staying in is beautiful, on the slope between a mountain and a great lake. Rosecloud, it’s called. Sadie and I are going out for a couple of drinks after we’ve checked into our hotel, but we’ll need to be on our best behaviour, or try, at least. Anyway, I’d better go. I love you, you big softie.’
‘I love you too. Make sure to enjoy yourself,’ said Jean.
‘I will. Bye.’ She hung up and Jean felt overcome with shame. It was as if the vacuum in the silence that followed had sucked all the woes out of his head and placed them before his eyes. ‘Dee?’ he said.
The house was full of creatures of all shapes and sizes and Dee bravely made her way through it. In the kitchen, she watched the little horned creatures play with her mum’s ornaments and a person with more eyes than she could count inspecting pictures on the walls. None wanted to hurt her. In fact, she was almost disappointed at how they were ignoring her completely.
The person with leafy hair poked at a clock in the hallway, moving the hands around with intense curiosity. ‘What are these numbers?’ she asked with a voice as soft as damp soil.
