Saving amy, p.22
Saving Amy, page 22
“Jeez,” was all I could think to comment. Naturally Vanessa would want to side with her daughter but a typical teenage break-up didn’t seem to justify just how passionately she seemed to loathe him. Rob said things got messy – I decided to take that as he cheated on her and now Vanessa thought he was a douchebag.
“Sorry for the wait,” another robotic McDonald’s employee apologised insincerely as she handed me our bag of food. My mind had been so engrossed in the whole Rob versus Vanessa saga I hadn’t even noticed we’d been waiting at Window 3 for almost ten minutes.
I took the drinks and paper bag and then handed them to Rob while I found somewhere to park. I circled the lot three times before spotting a tight space by a grass verge and reversing into it in one shot, impressing myself - and Rob by the astounded raised eyebrow taking over his surfer-boy face.
We talked about work mainly while we ate, and Rob filled me in about what to expect from my evening classes at college. He started two weeks ago and my first class was next Thursday. I was more nervous about the environment than struggling with the academic side of things. I could only pray it was nothing like school. That it wouldn’t be as tedious and oppressive and there wouldn’t be an evil Mrs Clarke clone lurking in the halls.
After crushing our wrappers and leftovers into the overflowing drive-past trashcan I headed towards the perfumery just around the corner from Salt House.
“Look, Aims, before you go in. I just wanted to apologise for being such a jackass to you in the beginning,” Rob said sincerely, curling his fingers around my forearm. I had to try extremely hard not to flinch.
“You weren’t that bad,” I replied honestly, smiling as I did so.
“Yeah I was. I’d tried so hard to get an editing internship and Salt House was my last hope. When I found out Vanessa was senior editor, I knew I’d have no chance and ended up stuck in marketing. I guess I thought you were some spoiled rich kid who’d bought your way in. I was… jealous. And that’s no excuse for being a dick to you. So, I’m sorry.”
Wow. Seriously wasn’t expecting that conversation today and any doubts I held about Rob’s friendship abilities were quashed in an instant.
“Well maybe you can make it up to me by heading up to Vanessa’s office and telling her I’ll be five minutes?” I asked, realising I was already two minutes late but knowing I would be literally two more minutes in the perfumery seeing as I knew exactly what I was looking for. “Oh wait, never mind. I’ll just get it after work I don’t want things to be awkward.” I quickly added when I remembered the fact they hated each other’s guts.
“It’s no problem, Aims. Any excuse to remind the bitch that she failed in her mission to fuck me over, remember?” he assured with a wicked grin. I rolled my eyes playfully at him.
“Well don’t rile her. I’m the one who’s got to work with her all afternoon.”
“Who me?” he teased, clutching his hand to his chest as if he was truly offended. “I wouldn’t dare,” he added, winking devilishly. He was impossible. Yet I’d decided during that single hour with him, that I really liked him.
Rob high-fived me when we got out of the car and then we went our separate ways. I was in an out of the perfumery within five minutes – a little longer than I anticipated but I decided to take advantage of their gift-wrap service and save myself a job later on. Before heading back into work I tucked the shiny gold package into the glove compartment of the Audi and re-fixed my hair into a high ponytail.
When I neared the office building something cold and harsh flexed around my wrist, dragging me backwards. My first instinct was that it was Rob playing around and when I spun around to face him, my heart stopped dead in my chest.
“I need some money, Amelia,” my dad said. I gasped when I saw him. He looked so… dishevelled. His normally pruned moustache had merged into a full-on unkempt beard. His cheeks were red with hundreds of tiny thread-veins and his eyes were swollen and glassy.
“I- I haven’t got any,” I choked out as he pulled me around the corner out of view of the street.
“Bullshit. I’ve ran a background check on that doctor of yours. So don’t tell me you’ve got no fucking money.”
He forced my back into the brick wall and pinned me down with his strong hands over my heart, which was hammering against my ribs.
“My purse. Let me check my purse,” I stuttered, trying to manoeuvre one hand through the contents because my other was trapped by the weight of his body. I blindly reached into the concealed zipper and pulled out the crumpled notes I had stuffed in there. “Here,” I said shakily.
“There’s like fifty-dollars here. What the fuck do you expect me to do with that?” I didn’t respond. I couldn’t. “I’ve not forgotten all the times you’ve helped yourself to my wallet. You owe me,” he growled and my breathing became rapid.
“H-how much d-do you want?” I gasped, his hand now encircling the base of my throat.
“Twenty-five.” I breathed a sigh of relief. I could go ask Rob to lend me that amount until tomorrow. “Thousand.”
Fuck.
“I don’t have that kind of money,” I tried to shout but it came out as more of a whimper. He laughed villainously and then lowered his head to mine until our noses were almost touching. He reeked of stale whiskey and cigars. I gagged on the urge to retch.
“You’ll get me that fucking money and you’ll get it me by tomorrow!” he roared, grabbing my wrists and forcing them up against the coarse bricks.
“Dad, please…”
“It’s SIR!” he yelled in my face, giving my body a jolt so hard the back of my head smacked into the wall.
“I-I… I’ll try. I’ll have to ask-”
“GET THE FUCK OFF HER!” yelled the voice of my saviour. Within seconds Rob had pulled my dad off me and shoved him so forcefully he smacked down onto the sidewalk. “Jesus, are you okay?” he asked in a panic, pulling his cell from his pocket.
“No. No police. Please…” I begged, assuming that was his next intention.
“What the fuck, Aims? That dude had you pinned against the fucking wall! Do you know him or something?” He looked to the floor where he’d left my dad’s folded body, but he was gone. I could breathe again.
“No, no. He was just some drunk looking for money. Got a bit out of control but I’m fine.” I played it down, trying desperately to assure him. I couldn’t afford to have the police involved. God only knew what he’d do to me…
Rob eyed me up warily.
“Honestly, Rob. I’m good, I swear.”
Huffing, Rob wrapped his arm around my waist and led me into the building.
Chapter Fourteen
I managed to pacify Rob just long enough to get up to Vanessa’s office. Then he tried to hug me outside the glass doors and noticed the backs of my arms were grazed.
“Fuck, Aims, he hurt you!” I brought my elbows up and examined the weeping scratches. They were clogged with dirt from the brick. “These need cleaning up.”
“It’s nothing. Really-”
“What’s happened, Amy?” Vanessa asked, appearing from nowhere and throwing a look of true disdain towards Rob – almost like she thought he was responsible for the tears burning my eyes.
“Some asshole jumped her outside. Had her pinned against the wall when I got there.”
“Oh my god, are you alright?” she fussed, taking hold of my hand and guiding me into the office like I was an invalid. “Has someone called the police?” she added before letting me reply.
“She won’t let me,” Rob muttered, disapproval saturating his voice.
“Amy?” she pressed disbelievingly, prodding me for an explanation.
“There’s no point. He’s gone now and I’m fine, really.”
“Richard. I’ll call Richard,” she muttered, seemingly to herself.
I mentally huffed at yet another confirmation of how little I had to do with earning my place here. I didn’t disagree with her, even though I felt bad for dragging him out of work. I wanted to go home and I didn’t know if I felt capable of driving myself. I didn’t know how I was managing to hold myself together. I was falling apart inside but the fear of what would happen if the police got involved was enough to keep me functioning normally.
Vanessa and Rob fussed and cooed over me until Richard arrived – Vanessa’s voice hitching to a tone only interpretable under the sea when she noticed spots of blood dripping down the back of my neck. I didn’t feel the pain until she spotted the wound hidden in my hair and now it was throbbing like a motherfucker – though I played it down.
Rob practically carried me over to my swivel chair and lowered me down as if I was about to break in half.
“Here,” Vanessa said as she passed me a cup of steaming coffee. I took a sip and almost choked to death as it cut into my throat like razor blades. “I added a dash of gin. It’ll help with the shaking.”
Shit. Looking to my hands I really was shaking. I clamped my free hand down onto my knee in an effort to stem the trembling. They couldn’t see me crumble. It would only make them more determined to call the cops.
I took another eager sip of the disgusting coffee – willing it to calm my jittering nerves. It tasted revolting… bitter. Who ever decided coffee and gin made a good combination? Apart from my mother of course.
That thought caused a strange pang to twist around my heart. I hadn’t thought about her for so long and as much as I hated her, I couldn’t seem to stop myself wondering how she was – how much she was suffering now my dad only had her to take things out on.
“Is that helping?” Rob asked, nodding towards my mug when Vanessa left the room to fetch a first aid kit.
No.
“It tastes like shit,” I spat, setting the mug on the desk beside me. Rob laughed softly and then swept a rogue strand of hair away as he tried to gain a better view of the cut to my head.
“So this Richard dude,” he muttered sombrely, “he your boyfriend?”
He seemed a little wounded, disappointed maybe, and then I realised I’d never mentioned Richard to him before. I nodded with an apologetic smile. Christ knows why but I felt this bizarre sense of guilt taking over me. I replayed all the innocent touches, and times he’d walked by me with a hand around my waist…
Rob had a crush on me.
Shit.
“Damn. Guess I missed my chance,” he conceded, smiling playfully at me.
In that moment, saving me, the office door flew open, slamming into the wall and startling the crap out of me. Richard sped towards me so fast his panic stricken face merged into a blur. I instinctively jumped to my feet and flung myself into his aubergine shirt.
“Jesus, baby, are you okay?” He held me at arms length, examining me up and down with his eyes. I nodded – my mouth too dry to speak – and he pulled me back into him, cocooning me inside his protective arms.
“And you have no idea who it was?” he asked, concern spilling from his every pore. I shook my head, essentially lying to him.
“I’m sorry you were pulled out of work. I hope it didn’t cause any problems for you.”
“Screw work. Amy, you are the most important thing here.”
I tried to get him to take me straight home but he wouldn’t leave before checking out my wounds and hearing my explanation for not calling the police. I knew lying to Richard would be difficult and I was sure he knew as much while I tried to remember the lies I’d told. Especially when he stopped me a few minutes in, and said I could tell him the rest at home.
“I’m taking her home now,” Richard said to Vanessa – telling her, not asking, after deciding the cut on my head needed nothing more than some antiseptic and painkillers.
“Of course. Take as much time off as you need, Amy.”
“Thanks,” I muttered, that pissed off feeling resurfacing as my mind wouldn’t quit figuring out how she knew Richard. Rob gave me a knowing nod – one which told me he was there if I needed him for anything. I tried to smile but my face wouldn’t work so instead I just nodded before following Richard out of the building.
My stomach crawled up to my heart, chewing away at it as we rode home in silence. When we eventually reached the apartment Richard scooped me into his arms and kissed the top of my head repeatedly.
“It was your father, wasn’t it?”
“Yes,” I whispered, seeing no point in continuing to lie – he knew me too well. “He wanted money.”
“Money?”
“Twenty-five thousand,” I stated, nodding weakly. “He looked a mess. Obviously got himself in some kind of trouble.” Richard stayed silent as a contemplative look swept over his face. “I don’t know how far he’ll go to get it,” I admitted shakily, the fear I’d forced myself to suppress resurfacing all at once.
“Amy we really need to think about-”
“No!” I interrupted. “No police, Richard. You know as well as I do, he’ll get himself out of it and then what’ll happen? I can’t push him that far. I’m scared. I’m so fucking scared,” I admitted for the first time in my life. I thought I’d finally moved on… escaped.
How naïve was I?
“You’re safe now,” he whispered, drawing my head into his chest. “He won’t hurt you again, baby. Nobody will hurt you again. I’ll make sure of it,” he growled, holding me so close his grip smarted a little.
How? No one could make sure of that. I knew he was trying to comfort me and for now, he did. But the minute I inevitably had to step out of the safety of his presence…
**********
I sat on the cold, hard granite with my knees drawn into my chest, feeling itchy with dirt as I waited for the bath to fill. I could feel my dad’s touch all over my body, as if his slimy fingers had left some kind of revolting residue in their wake. My fingers unconsciously started scratching at my skin, desperate to remove it.
I could still smell him - the vile smell of stale alcohol lingered in my nose and no amount of blowing or rubbing would remove it. I’d brushed my teeth three times but I could still taste his sickening, cigar-infused breath which crawled into my mouth as he yelled at me. His bulging eyes, alive with menace were etched onto my eyelids, making me afraid to close my eyes.
He was still with me and I’d never be able to get rid of him.
“Amy, stop!” Snapping me from the trance I seemed to have slipped into, Richard kneeled beside me, prizing my fingernails off the skin on my arms. “Oh, baby.”
I caught sight of my abraded arms as Richard pulled my naked body into his chest. I had unwittingly scratched them to the point of breaking the skin and tiny bubbles of blood were beginning to seep from the harsh grazes.
“Everything’s okay. I’m here and I love you,” he whispered into my hair, making my weary body surrender, collapsing into the safety of his arms. Bursting under the pressure, tears erupted from their banks and spilled rapidly down my cheeks as I wailed loudly, struggling to breathe.
Richard supported my weight, cradling me with one arm around my waist and one behind my head, stroking my hair. And then I felt a tear that wasn’t mine drip onto my forehead and he squeezed me tighter. He was crying. I was crying. We sat huddled together, rocking back and forth until the bath water lapped over the edge of the large, oval tub and splashed onto the floor. We both sat up sharply at the sound, but neither one of us jumped to pull the plug.
“We should really sort that out,” Richard said with a trace of a smile – his gaze landing on the bath. But we didn’t. Not straight away anyhow.
First, Richard wiped the drying tears from my cheeks with his gentle fingers and then I did the same to him – our haunted eyes never leaving each other. Then he gave me a final hug – a hard one, clutching me firmly against him as if it were the last chance he’d ever get to do it – before springing lithely to his feet and diving for the overflowing bathtub.
As I stepped into the steaming lavender water, I noticed Richard undressing. I smiled warmly, realising he was getting in too. I didn’t want to be alone – I didn’t trust myself right now in a room full of so many sharp objects.
“Ah, shit…” I winced as the water slapped my scuffed arms, stinging the crap out of them. Then I stared at the mess I’d made of myself and sighed, overcome with crushing feelings of shame and frustration. Stupid bitch, my subconscious growled.
Richard tested the water with a dip of his big toe and I parted my legs to make room for him when he stepped over the edge, climbing in opposite me so we were face to face.
“It’s not as bad as it looks. They’ll soon heal over,” he said reassuringly, raising my chin with his forefinger to drag my gaze away from my arms.
“I feel so stupid,” I admitted, too embarrassed to look him in the eye.
“Don’t you dare,” he said sternly, taking my face in his hands and forcing me to look at him. “Don’t you dare blame yourself for any of this. Today was not your fault. Do you hear me?”
“Maybe not. But my reaction is. Look at what I’ve done to myself!” I snapped unintentionally. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to yell. I’m just… tired. I hate the way I can never seem to cope like normal people. I hate-”
“Stop that. Right now,” he ordered. “’Stop it with this desire to be ‘normal’. What the hell is ‘normal’ anyway?” he continued, using air quotes to excess. “’Normal’ people as you put it couldn’t even begin to imagine the things you’ve been through, let alone survive them. Yet here you are, still fighting, striving. You’re right, Amy… you’re not normal. You are so much more.”
Sighing resignedly, I closed my eyes and absorbed the comfort brought by Richard’s hands on each of my thighs as he smoothed shower soap over my wet skin. The warmth of his touch against my flesh was more comforting, more intense, than any blade, and I completely lost myself in the sensation.
We bathed in silence for a while and I just stared at Richard, captivated by the sight of his naked beauty as he washed me down with a soft, white sponge dipped in jojoba crème. The love I felt for him physically throbbed deep in my chest. He was so beautiful in every sense of the word – inside and out. I found myself blinking as if trying to pull myself out of a dream.
