Hekate, p.10
Hekate, page 10
The second past
the small pool
I emerged from,
an abyss pitch dark
and unwelcoming.
Hermes did not warn me
that there would be two.
I looked down
into the water
and only saw my own face.
There was nothing there
to tell me which way
I should go.
But one had gemstone light,
a way to see.
As I look back on this
it was clear enough
that cave was not
the place to go. And yet…
it was the one I chose.
By the Light of Gemstones
My reasoning at the time
was rooted in logic.
Light led the way,
whereas darkness hid
any path that lay ahead.
So as I followed the crystal light,
carefully avoiding the teeth-like
minerals growing up from the cave floor,
I noticed that along
the uneven walls of rocks,
there were paintings.
The colours were warm,
rich purples and bright yellows,
crimson and vermillion.
But the paintings were…
I shuddered as I looked upon them.
They were clearly of battle.
A brutality shone in the swords,
the bodies of Gods and Goddesses
being ripped to shreds.
Even on these uneven walls,
I could see how violently
the artist’s brush had slashed,
creating clear images
of every cruelty of war.
And then my stomach
turned as I realized
with a cold shock
that these images
were of the Titanomachy.
The cruelty of my family
hurting, maiming,
trying to destroy each other
spread along the tunnel.
My hands shook now
as I froze, every thought
inside my head
was screaming at me
to turn back,
turn back now.
But turning back
meant accepting defeat.
All of this would be for nothing.
I had to continue.
I just had to.
So I took a lavender potion
from my bag of simples
to calm myself,
steeled my nerves
and continued.
The Artist
I did not know what I expected
at the other end of the cave.
But it was not what I found.
At the last crystal there were urns,
purple and red and yellow,
the light shone off the paint
that had carelessly dripped
down these urns like honey.
And there, under the glowing light
was a man with a long dark beard
and wild eyes the colour of the night.
He was on his knees, painting,
wild slashes of his brush
and hands that were old,
yet still strong.
But there was something
about his presence,
a pride mixed with a strange fury.
I hesitated for the briefest of seconds
but it was too late to run.
He had already seen me.
‘Who goes there?!’
His deep voice rumbled across the cave,
disturbing the stalactites that hung
from the ceiling. Far behind me,
I heard one fall to the ground.
I was many things, but I was not
a coward of any kind.
So I stepped further into the light,
and said, as strong-voiced as I could,
‘My name is Hekate,
Daughter of Asteria and Perses.
And I am trying to pass
through to the Halls of Night.’
His wild eyes took me in,
and I saw that his face,
much like his hands, was withered,
old and weary of something.
‘Perses.’ He stood up
and stepped towards me.
‘Now there is a name
I have not heard in a long time.’
I saw a scar on his throat.
The mottled place where
Zeus had sliced his sword
and unleashed his siblings.
Kronos
What happens to a God-King after a war?
Does he flee? Or is he captured?
And if he is captured,
what punishment is fair for a God-King?
And if he is punished, then for how long?
There are questions I never asked,
for I never considered them.
My uncle Pallas did not speak of the war
after I was left in the Underworld
in his and Styx’s care.
He named the war a haunting memory.
He did not like to speak of its consequences.
For the first time I wondered
how he and Styx had managed to get
in Zeus’ good graces. What had they done?
My uncle especially refused to talk
of the punishment doled out to my father,
his own brother. But it was Kronos’ name
that made his neck tighten, his teeth grit
and his loud voice go very quiet.
Kronos led the Titans, my father by his side,
against his children. They lost. We lost.
So now here he was. A mad king,
who once had the whole cosmos in his palm
and now presided over nothing.
Is this the fate of all God-Kings?
‘Come, child. Be not afraid’
There was a desperation in his voice,
and something in my blood told me
to obey. This was Kronos’ power.
Time and the command over all our divinity.
Even then, diminished and half of himself,
he had not lost his authority. As though
hypnotized, I walked with him despite
all of my misgivings.
He led me further into the cave.
I could see that even though this was
where he lived forever in exile, it was beautiful.
The walls were even, not earthen,
and a warmth filled the cave here.
The crystals shone more brightly,
and richly coloured fabrics did their best
to make this cavern seem homely.
The floors had been turned to
polished marble and reflected the light
of the crystals above, made the place inviting.
An aroma of game rose through the air
and I noticed that in the centre of the room,
a large bubbling cauldron was
cooking. Divinity did not need food,
but it was one of the luxuries we most enjoyed.
My mouth watered and Kronos smiled.
A Disquieting Truth
Somewhere within the recesses
of my mind, my mother’s voice
rose like an ocean in warning.
Hekate, she whispered, her moonlit,
musical tones in my ear after so long,
You cannot stay here. It is not safe.
He was just an old God now,
with no powers, I thought to myself,
and he just wanted someone to speak with.
‘It must be difficult,’ I said softly,
but I did not finish my sentence.
Of course it was difficult.
He had lost his entire realm.
‘We are much the same,
you and I,’ he sighed,
Then reached over to the ladle
of the pot and stirred.
‘We both lost everything in the war.’
It was the first time anyone
had ever said those words to me.
And it was with a jolt I realized,
His words were true.
The Ruse
The air of the cave was filled
with the scent of herbs and meat.
Kronos carefully ladled some
of the stew into a wooden bowl.
As he handed it to me,
he fretted, ‘I once had bowls
made of the finest silver taken
from the heart of the earth.
Gifts from my mother.’
Of course, his mother, Gaia.
He sighed as he sat with
his own bowl. ‘I think,
out of all of us, it is she
who has suffered the most.’
I pictured the kind-faced Gaia,
roots and ivy for hair,
moss-skinned, doe-eyed
watching her children
fight her grandchildren.
My stomach twisted in sympathy.
I looked at Kronos.
‘You are not as the stories said.’
He said nothing to this,
just smiled sadly and ate his own food.
I also ate the stew he had prepared,
the meat was tender and flavourful.
‘Thank you,’ I said when I finished,
‘for your hospitality.’ I stood up then,
rifling through my bag for nectar.
I imagined I would need all my strength
to walk through the caves of darkness
into the Halls of the Night.
‘I must leave,’ I said,
not looking up at him,
‘I must go to the Halls of Night
before it is discovered I am gone.’
As I found my flask,
I looked up and saw his face.
It was changed, cold, angry.
And it was then I realized
that his kindness had a price.
‘You Will Go Nowhere’
It was like his voice had turned to poison.
Where his tone once dripped
with melancholy, it was now ancient,
laced with the razor-edge of cruelty.
I stayed very still, as though an animal,
believing if I did not move,
my predator may not see me.
‘But I must leave.’ I could hear the panic
in my own voice. Oh how naive
I had been, I should have run
when I saw him. ‘Please,’
I pleaded quietly, the flask clutched
between my fingers as though
a talisman of protection.
I felt the cave swim
and expand before my eyes.
‘No.’ There was pure venom
in his words now. ‘Too long
I have been alone in these caves,
no wife or daughter to care for me.
YOU will be my new consort,
and tend to my every need.’
I gasped. ‘I am not yet old enough
to even know my own powers!’
Kronos scoffed. ‘You do not need powers,
if all you are going to do is serve me.’
My blurred vision could make out
his shape advancing towards me.
Like a wolf about to pounce
onto its prey.
The Spell
I had eaten that game
without question,
without thinking
that he could have
poisoned it.
It was fortunate
that over the years
my experiments with herbs
had given me a tolerance
to most poisons.
And now as my vision swam
three distinct voices
broke through my mind.
What was in that game?
I tried to speak.
My words collided
with the other voices.
Why were there other
voices in my head?
Finally I choked out,
my mouth garbled the words
‘What have you done to me?!’
His form loomed before me
as he spoke,
‘Be grateful, I have simply
set you free to do your duty.’
I stumbled back from him,
terror gripping me,
and ran even as my own body
fought me.
The Labyrinth
Kronos was the God of Time, and what is time but a maze without end? As I tried in my drugged state to escape his cave, it gave way to a labyrinth of caves. Kronos may be a diminished God, but he knew precisely how to use his powers to confuse me. So I did what I had to do, I chose the cave that had appeared closest to me and stumbled towards it. Behind me I could hear that he had turned into his true size and the thud of his footsteps was louder and slower than mine but they covered more ground. I had forgotten that Kronos was also the father of giants, beings of great stature and strength. I ran through cave after cave, stones and sharp-toothed minerals cut at my bare feet, and still I heard him behind me. It felt like my heart would be torn asunder. Oh if only I had drunk the nectar before this happened, it would have fortified me, but now I was breathless and these tunnels seemed endless. Behind me the Titan ran, his unrelenting roar sending chills through my body. Still, I was silver-footed enough to run faster than he could and it put me in the lead, my single winning hand. Finally, finally, I reached a crossroads. Three different cave entrances stared at me. Each looked like the other, crystal-lit until suddenly the crystals died. Trembling, I pulled a torch from my bag, hoping to light my own way – a trick that Styx had taught me, a snap and flick and the fire flew from my fingers to the torch, the darkness fleeing from the flames. Thank you, Styx, I whispered softly. My fear had a grip on me as I looked at all three routes in turn, hoping this was not just whatever spell he put on the food toying with my head. I could hear Kronos now. He was snorting, and as I turned, I saw his monstrous form in shadow, close behind me, like the form of a Minotaur. But there was no Minotaur here. This labyrinth held something much more dangerous. A once God-King. Perhaps it was the panic then that made me do it. But whatever the spell was that he gave me was as likely a culprit as the ancient stirring in my blood. Every approaching footstep was evoking something in me, the taste of moulding cavern air, the smell of the danger so close behind was so terrifying, I felt like I would break apart. Like pieces of me were pulling apart, my whole body trying to tear itself into portions. Then suddenly, there was a moment of wrenching pain. My vision suddenly cleared… and I split into three.
The Three
I stared into two scared faces
that were both precisely mine.
But before any of us could react,
Kronos’ form began to fill the cave.
Our thoughts ran together
like a cascading river.
The panic, and then
the clear instruction:
RUN.
The Race
Each of us took a cave.
Each stumbling as we did.
I could feel them,
the other two me’s.
We could think linear thoughts,
the same thing occurred to us at once.
We scrambled over rocks
together in the endless caves
and I saw what they saw.
It was the third version of me
that Kronos gave chase to.
She was the slowest of us
even if by just a fraction.
I heard him behind her,
he was closing in!
I willed her to run faster
while I ran faster myself.
His hand reached out
closing around her
NO NO NO NO
In panic, she shoved her torch
into his face and as though
he had seen his own monster
he roared in fear and dropped her
and she scrambled to her feet and…
‘KRONOS!’
It was the voice of a dozen gorgons,
thunderous with frightening fury.
It was the sound of a hundred sirens,
screaming against the ocean wind.
It was the cry of a thousand harpies,
screeching before they descended on prey.
So primordial was this sound
that the three I had split into
were jarred back together as one.
The raging pain pulsed through
my whole body as I felt the other
two versions of me stitch themselves
back into my body again,
and I felt myself burn and stretch
and return until there were
no others like me left.
Only one.
Just me.
And then the voice
filled the whole room again.
‘REMEMBER, TITAN,
WHERE YOU STAND.
YOUR OATH TO ME AND HADES
DEMANDS AN ANSWER.’
Kronos, who had been terrifying
to me, suddenly sounded very small.
‘F-forgive me, Goddess of the Dark.
I… I have simply been lonely.’
There was a terrible, cold silence
that followed and then the voice spoke.
‘LET THIS BE THE LAST TIME
YOU BREAK YOUR OATH,
FOR THE NEXT TIME,
IT IS TARTARUS
OR STYX’S WATER.
THE CHOICE IS YOURS.’
I could hear the warble in his voice
as he whispered, ‘I apologize.
I am so sorry.’ A shaking sob
escaped his chest.
And that was when the voice
turned its attentions to me.
‘HEKATE, CHILD OF ASTERIA
AND PERSES. YOU WILL BE
BROUGHT TO THE HALLS
OF NIGHT WHERE YOU WILL
EXPLAIN YOUR PURPOSE
FOR THIS INTRUSION.’
I winced at the word intrusion.
But before I could acknowledge
the message, a hurricane of darkness
swept me off my feet,
turning everything around me
into a swirling abyss.
The Goddess of the Night
It was as though a black river had attached itself to every pore of my skin. It was unforgiving and hot and I hated it as I struggled to breathe through it. Fortunately the feeling did not last long as I was left on a smooth, cool floor, gasping in the musty air. Like a sentient being rather than fog, the black river seeped away as if it had been dismissed. As my eyes cleared from the dark abyss, I saw where I was. This room was shaped like a dome. Around it a hundred altars smoked with prayers from distant mortals far away. It seemed like there were no windows here at first glance, but I realized that the giant arched windows did exist as the glitter of thousands of stars gleamed through them. A throne made from a million diamonds shone from the centre of the room. And on this throne, her head adorned with a coronet carved from the glowing heart of a dying star, sat the Goddess of the Night, Nyx. Her face was youthful but her eyes were ancient, a glinting pair of onyxes the colour of her skin. It did not take a second glance to determine what I already knew. She was furious. Perhaps the rumours were just rumours. Perhaps Goddesses were as unwelcome as Gods were here. And I was not even a Goddess. Just the child of two forgotten Gods.
