Wave touched, p.19
Wave-Touched, page 19
“That makes sense, but is it the only reason?” She quickly faced him when he glanced over at her, struggling not to squirm before his discerning gaze.
“I suspect you have had more opportunity than most to see that Jaysen’s time in Sarket changed him, and I am not convinced it was for the better. I prefer to have him where I can keep watch over him.”
That comment produced a barrage of new questions she wanted to ask, but Arhk looked away again, turning his attention back to the approaching Thaelians. How much did he suspect? How much did he know? She couldn’t believe he would have brought Jaysen if he had deeper insight into what had happened between them in the last few weeks. Unless his goal was to take control of that situation as well.
She turned her attention back to the three walking in their direction. “Is there a reason you were having Ahnkreth Kyril practice with the horses so much?”
One eyebrow curved up in a slight arch. “What harm is there in further developing his skills, now that he is a Vanrian soldier?”
She had the feeling again that he wasn’t telling her everything, but she didn’t get the impression he intended to elaborate. Was it a coincidence that he had focused his training efforts on the two of them, keeping them both busy along the journey here?
Kyril slowed his pace, turning to say something to Nalika a few strides behind him. At that moment, an object flashed past him, and red blossomed at her throat, spraying from the back and front as the projectile plunged through her neck. Cries of surprise rang out from the people near them. Nalika choked up blood as she fell, the bright red vivid and shocking against her lighter skin. Jinau stepped in to catch her as Kyril spun, scanning for the source of the attack. Ceris focused on something and exploded into a run.
Feeling strangely disconnected from the moment, Veyl followed the beast’s direction and spotted a man near a building across the street. He was grabbing and aiming a second preloaded crossbow. If Kyril hadn’t turned toward Nalika when he did, the first bolt would have hit him.
A charge of lightning burst through her and out.
“Veyl!”
It was too late to heed Arhk’s shout. The full force of her ability struck the man. For a heartbeat, his terror fed back into her, then empty silence filled that space. His arm fell limp, and the crossbow dropped from his hand, hitting the street and discharging amidst more cries of alarm. A few people near Kyril and Jinau moved in to help. They were on a military base, so a substantial number of weapons were in hand now, and soldiers were scanning the area, trying to determine if there might be more than one threat. Sudden pressure swept out from Arhk, the street around them growing dark, as if a cloud had passed overhead. How odd that they could see and feel the illusions each other’s abilities created yet could not weaponize each other’s fear.
“Everyone is to stand down,” he commanded, the black spreading across his eyes giving a well-earned aura of danger to his presence. He singled out two soldiers with his gaze and pointed to the man who had fired the crossbow, who now stood staring at nothing. “Guide that man to Dhomen Aitan. I will join you momentarily.”
“Yes, Dhomvalen.” They hurried to follow his orders.
Arhk turned his cutting gaze on her. “Go with them.”
Veyl wanted to run to Kyril and Jinau, who were easing Nalika’s lifeless body to the ground, but Arhk’s eyes darkened more when she hesitated, so she ducked her head and followed the two soldiers.
The man who had shot the crossbow—a Vanrian with deep shadows under his light hazel eyes—didn’t react to anyone around him. He continued to stare at nothing, fine lines of red trickling from his eyes, ears, and nose. Her ability had broken him as thoroughly as it broke Illis and the Sarketi sailors that attacked them upon their return to Vanris, as well as more than a few of the Unclean, though she couldn’t bring herself to feel as bad about them. She followed the soldiers in silence on their way to take the man to Dhomen Aitan’s office in the building she and Arhk had just come out of.
The structures here were of stone and clay because of the scarcity of timber in the region, and more cramped inside than most of the homes and other buildings she frequented in Etrion. Built early in the war with the southern kingdoms with a focus on fast construction and economy of purpose rather than comfort, the quarters here were simple and stark.
They waited a few minutes before being admitted into Aitan’s office, and Arhk came in on their heels with Kyril behind him. The latter had spatters of red on one side of his face and across part of his jacket. Nalika’s blood. A member of his crew. His family. He looked straight ahead, his eyes flickering only briefly to the broken man who had killed Nalika before settling on the dhomen behind his desk.
Focused on Kyril, Veyl barely heard Arhk’s words as he explained the incident to Aitan.
Aitan considered the broken man for a moment, then looked at one of his soldiers. “Isn’t this man one of the refugees who escaped the attack on Deepwater? His wife and their tehnaaks were taken captive, as I recall.”
The soldier shifted his feet, averting his eyes. “Yes, Dhomen.”
“I also seem to recall ordering that all survivors from the town be moved off base grounds before the groups from Etrion arrived with Thaelians in their ranks to avoid possible confrontations. Am I remembering that correctly?”
The man nodded, his shoulders tightening. “Yes, Dhomen.”
It almost surprised Veyl when Aitan’s hair didn’t catch fire from the fury burning in his eyes. Somehow, he maintained an even, if terse, tone when he turned his attention to Arhk. “Is there no way to reverse this damage?” He gestured to the broken man.
“I am afraid not.”
Aitan shook his head and rapped his knuckles on the wooden desktop hard enough that Veyl cringed. “We should delay your departure and investigate—”
“No. There is nothing to investigate. This was an attempt at revenge in which the assailant is, unfortunately, not able to stand for questioning.” Arhk’s harsh gaze fell upon Veyl, the message clear. If she hadn’t broken the man, they would have no trouble confirming that. Instead, they would make that assumption because he was unwilling to hold back their mission. “Send a report to Etrion. This man is to be dispatched as humanely as possible. He will not survive long in this condition.” He turned to Kyril. “We can have Ahnkreth Nalika’s body prepared for travel if you wish to take her home.”
Kyril dipped his head in a nod. His voice was low and tight when he spoke. “Thank you. We will return her to the waters near Thaelis.”
The heartache in his words tugged at Veyl. She moved one foot to take a step toward him, pulling it back when Arhk softly cleared his throat.
“We depart as planned. You may see to your people, Ahnkreth,” Arhk said.
Kyril bowed his head. He didn’t look at her before turning to leave.
Guilt and shame burned hot in her cheeks, and she lowered her gaze, unable to face any of them.
“I would like a moment with Khesran Veyl.”
She could feel Arhk’s judging gaze on her as the others, even Dhomen Aitan, whose office it was, walked out, guiding the broken man with them. Arhk turned to her, and she forced herself to look at him, knowing he would respect nothing less.
“Is there a reason you chose to condemn that man rather than merely incapacitating him with your ability?”
“I didn’t mean to, I—”
“Your power was too much for you,” he interrupted. “Would you like to be the one to explain this to his wife and their tehnaaks when we bring them back from Thaelis?”
Tears stung her eyes. “If you feel that’s how it should be handled, I will—”
“I do not,” he snapped. “I am inclined to advise your parents to make your brother the official heir. Running a country is far too demanding for someone who cannot control an ability as volatile and deadly as yours.”
His words threatened to crush her. Not that she had a burning desire to be khevarin of Vanris, but it was an assumption, an expectation she had grown up with. To be denied that because he deemed her too unreliable and dangerous, after she had indeed proven herself to be so, was a devastating prospect.
When she spoke, she struggled to raise her voice, hating how small she felt. How small she sounded. “But you’re a Frightener, like me. Can’t you help me fix this?”
Arhk shook his head. “You bear the burden of an uncommonly powerful ability. I can guide you. I can tell you what worked for me, but I cannot fix it for you. You will have to figure that out for yourself. If you cannot, it is my responsibility to protect the people of Vanris from you.”
Veyl blinked back tears. “I understand.”
“For now, return to your room here and remain there until I say otherwise. I expect you to spend every minute you are not asleep reaching out to as many people as you can within the base with your ability. Not one of them had better report being aware of your actions or suffer any ill-effects from it.”
“What about…” she trailed off when his eyebrows lifted a fraction.
“Kyril and Jinau do not need you to help them mourn their companion. You have your own problems to solve, Khesran.”
Veyl nodded and left him, hurrying to her room in the officer’s quarters. Once she was there, she worked through combat forms as best she could in the limited space, trying to burn off the overwhelming distress that threatened her control. The last thing she needed now was another incident. Finally, she settled on the bed and stared at the door. In a way, it was insulting to be sent to her room like this, but she had never felt more deserving of being locked away. She had killed a man or at least sentenced him to death. It didn’t matter if she struck the final blow. His blood was on her hands. And it was one of her own people this time. Even her grandfather, a man who struck fear in people everywhere, thought she might be too dangerous.
What would her parents do if she couldn’t figure out how to control this ability? Would they make Tavin the heir as Arhk had suggested and hide her away where she couldn’t hurt anyone? Maybe Kyril’s crew had been right. She was too great a threat to let live. If only her ability had never awakened. Even remembering how distraught she was after her Trial, when she believed she wasn’t a mind-crafter, she preferred that feeling of inadequacy to this. What she wouldn’t give to not be a mind-crafter now.
A sharp rap on the door made her jump. “I recall ordering you to practice,” Arhk called.
Veyl glared at the door and drew on the crackling energy that rose instantly to her need. She reached out to him first, touching his mind and feeling the immediate rejection of his ability blocking hers out.
“That is more like it. Keep at it.” His footsteps moved off down the hall.
With nothing else except her misery to occupy her time, Veyl lay back on the bed and focused her full attention on reaching out through the base. She advanced slowly, imagining the ability like the strands of a spider’s web, touching one mind and stretching out to the next and the next, connecting them all, but not allowing their fear to feed into her yet. It wasn’t until the threads of power wavered at the limits of her reach that she gradually opened herself to them, funneling the responding rush of fear into the ocean she conjured in her mind, and letting the waves churn it into a rumble of white noise.
Her head started throbbing, a headache rising in response to the limits she had stretched herself to. Clenching her teeth, she pushed farther. She had earned this pain. She deserved the residual sense of sorrow and loss that came tied to many of those fears. Tears slid into her hair, soaking into the pillow.
A light knock on the door startled her, breaking the tenuous connection. All the fear she had gathered seemed to settle in her chest, deepening her sense of sorrow and hopelessness.
She sat up on the bed, wiping at her eyes. “Who is it?”
“Ahndhomen Jinau, Seh’hali. May I enter?”
“Jin?” Veyl hurried to the door and opened it, stepping aside to let him in. “What are you doing here?”
He waited until she shut the door and turned to face him, the gentle regard out of place on his rugged features. “I can feel your sorrow, Seh’hali. I asked the dhomvalen to allow me to speak with you.”
She walked to a worn side table, fingertips coming to rest on the hilt of her sword she had set there. Such an elegant, uncomplicated weapon. “I’m surprised he agreed.”
“You should not torture yourself. You saved Ahnkreth Kyril’s life. His crew and I are grateful for what you did today, even if the outcome was not ideal.”
She spun to face him. “Not ideal? Nalika is dead, and I killed that man.”
His solemn, patient regard didn’t change. “Both of these things are true.”
“And Kyril, how does he feel about all of this?” Her chest tightened, remembering how he had avoided looking at her earlier.
“That is more complicated. He takes responsibility, as the head of his fleet, for the events in Deepwater, and he is not proud of what happened there. He followed orders that he now wishes he had not, but he cannot undo the past. That man lost the people dear to him, and Kyril accepts that he earned his hatred, but Nalika paying the price for it weighs heavily on him.”
That man had lost his loved ones because of Kyril. Now, because of her, those loved ones, if they were still alive in Thaelis, had now lost him. “I wish I could go to him.”
“He knows that, Seh’hali.”
“I doubt just knowing that brings much comfort.” A sudden metallic taste spread across her tongue, and she met his eyes. “Have you ever used your Charmer ability on me?”
Jinau shook his head, holding her gaze. “I told you I would not on the voyage here. Besides, I prefer not to use it. I have applied it in ways that do not sit well with me in my efforts to become a trusted asset to the council. It is because of this that I have as much insight as I do regarding who we can and cannot rely on in Thaelis, but that knowledge came at a high price.”
Veyl gazed into those amber eyes for a long moment. She reached out, letting her ability touch his mind. His eyes narrowed a fraction, but he did nothing to stop her. Carefully directing what she found into that ocean in her mind, she avoided looking at what it was he feared and instead let herself feel the remorse and self-loathing that came attached to it. That was enough.
She drew her ability back. “We all have regrets, it seems. Thank you… for letting me in. I am sorry about Nalika. Could you give Kyril my sympathies and my…” She caught herself before saying the word that rested on her lips.
“I will do so. He sent me with his love as well.” Jinau took a step toward the door.
She drew a shaky inhale. Did Kyril love her?
“Be patient, Seh’hali. The ocean is mighty. It will help you find your way.”
“Thank you,” she murmured, watching him walk out.
The ocean? If only she could have faith in the connection to the ocean that he and so many others believed she had.
She breathed a bitter laugh.
Or maybe they were right, and the power and unpredictability of the vast ocean were part of the problem.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
They set sail at night. Veyl stood at the bow and watched the ocean ahead of them. Dread coiled in her gut at the thought of leaving her family again, especially given that she was bringing her problems, specifically Jaysen and her uncontrolled Frightener ability, with her. Though perhaps it was better that her parents didn’t have to deal with those things, given all the other problems they had to sort out. Despite those challenges, a sense of exhilaration moved through her at being on the water again. The ocean held a promise of freedom, adventure, and danger that invigorated her. She tried to focus on that feeling and let the dread slip away.
“You don’t look back?” Gannon asked, stepping up to the railing beside her.
Veyl kept her gaze on the dark waters ahead. “I will look to Vanris when that is the direction I am traveling. We have a long way to go before then.” She glanced over at him. “I don’t see you looking back, either.”
“That’s because I am here to support you. I’ve failed too many people in my life. I won’t do so this time.”
“Gannon, what happened to Lorek—”
“Please don’t. Lorek was the best part of me. We all know that. I didn’t realize how much I could feel his presence until it was gone. Maybe I couldn’t have done anything about how he died, but I could have been a far better tehnaak to him while he was alive.”
The edge of anger in his voice hinted at a self-loathing she didn’t dare challenge. Not yet. Maybe when Lorek’s loss was less of an open wound. She said nothing. Instead, she reached over and put her hand on top of his on the railing.
***
Waking on the ship the next morning was disconcerting. A brief panic jolted through her as memories of Deepwater and the first days after those events that changed her life raced in. Not images, so much as remembered fear and hopelessness. She lay on the overly firm bed for a few minutes, eyes closed, moving her focus beyond those traumatic moments to that afternoon in Dagony, when she had gone with Kyril to his house and shared herself with him. The way he had explored her, awakening sensations she never imagined could be so intense… so satisfying.
A sharp knock on the door of the cramped cabin startled her from her reverie.
“Practice,” Arhk called, his footfalls continuing past.
“Calloch,” Veyl muttered, blowing out a breath. Practice could wait a bit.
She let her racing heart calm before she got up, cleaned off at the basin, and hastily dressed for the day. The Delaphinian flagship was larger than the Thaelian one, with several small private rooms in the area near the captain’s cabin. As khesran, she ranked high enough to have one. She hurried out of it now and went in search of Arhk.
On her way up to the rear deck, where he stood talking to the Delaphinian admiral, she spotted Gannon and beckoned him to join her with a wave. Jinau was also on the main deck, leaning on the starboard railing, his amber eyes following them as they continued up together. She led Gannon to the port side rail to wait for Arhk and the admiral to finish their conversation. Arhk glanced their way, giving a slight nod to let them know he was aware of them.
