She was their target, p.3
She Was Their Target, page 3
Jennifer blinked several times, but the tears still didn’t fall. Maybe she was all cried out. She must have shed many tears since she had received the news that Kristin had died during the procedure.
“She had a couple of surgeries when she was little, for birth defects. A hole in her heart. An intestinal thing. When she was twelve, she had appendicitis and they removed her appendix. She never had any trouble with anesthetic, so I didn’t think of it being a problem with her dental surgery. I wish I had known… I wish I had at least… told her I loved her before she went under. It didn’t seem like a big deal. I thought I would be seeing her again in an hour. I didn’t know… it would be the last time.”
Zachary nodded. “There was no way that you could know. I’m sure that she knew you loved her. And she wasn’t afraid, going into the surgery. She knew that she had been okay before.”
“No.” Jennifer agreed with Zachary’s assessment. “She wasn’t afraid of it. She was just going to sleep. She said if she did anything goofy when she woke up, I should video it. So I could show her later.”
Zachary smiled. He could imagine a teenager wanting to document everything. To play it to her friends on her social networks or private chats. Kids lived their lives online.
“What was she having done?”
“Wisdom teeth. The dentist said that we didn’t have to do it. They weren’t causing her any problems. But they could cause crowding later. And all of her friends were having it done. It’s just the thing to do these days. No one even thinks about it twice. When you get your wisdom teeth in, you get them pulled, because our jaws aren’t large enough to accommodate them anymore.”
“Right. How clear are your recollections of what the dental surgeon told you when they informed you that there had been complications?”
She sniffled, staring past him at the wall. “Pretty clear.”
“Did he say that she might have reacted to the anesthetic? Did he give you any… timeline or progression of what had happened? When they noticed she stopped breathing, was it partway into the surgery or right at the beginning or end? Had there been any problems like… her choking? Taking longer to put under?”
Jennifer shook her head slowly. “They said that her heart stopped. They were monitoring her, and it just stopped.”
“Did they try to do CPR? Did they have one of those defib machines?”
“I don’t know… they said they did everything they could. But her heart had just stopped.”
“Did they call an ambulance? How do they handle something like that?”
“Well… because she was under a doctor’s care, and he had her on the monitors and already declared her dead, they just called the medical examiner’s office. There weren’t any police or anything like that, because it wasn’t an unattended death. But they said the medical examiner still had to look into it.”
“So the morgue attendants just came and transported her body?”
Jennifer nodded. She bit her knuckle, her face and body rigid as she wrestled with the memory. Zachary could only imagine how devastated she must have been watching them take the body away. She had come for a routine surgery and then watched them take her baby away in a body bag.
5
Let’s talk about Kristin’s life,” Zachary said, putting his hand over Jennifer’s other hand on the boardroom table. “What was she like?”
Jennifer forced a smile and a few deep breaths. “She was lovely. I know that there is a lot of talk about moms and teenage girls and how they can never get along. But it wasn’t like that with us. Not at all. I wasn’t her best friend and confidante, I’ll admit that, but that wasn’t what I was trying to be. I just wanted to be a good mom and take care of her, raise her to be a healthy, happy adult.”
She stopped, swallowing and breathing, trying to get past the fact that she would never see her lovely daughter grow into a happy and healthy adult. Zachary stood up and went over to the counter where there were a few water bottles and glasses, and he poured a glass of water for Jennifer. The bottles were cold, but not icy. He returned to the table and handed it to her.
Jennifer nodded her thanks and took a sip. After a few minutes, she was able to go on.
“We didn’t have the fights and rebellion that a lot of moms and daughters do. She was a thoughtful girl, and reasoned things out rather than just following the crowd or trying to rush into the dating scene. I told her the high school stuff you see on TV is just fiction. Most kids go through high school without a serious boyfriend or girlfriend. Maybe a few dates, going out to a dance or party, but not like the serious intimate relationships you see on TV dramas. And she was okay with that. She wanted to date and do some of the fun social things, but she wasn’t looking for Mr. Right. Or to get serious with a boy.”
Zachary nodded. He wrote down a few words and doodled. Jennifer might or might not know what her daughter had been thinking and what she had wanted. A lot of parents thought that their kids had no interest in the opposite sex and were shocked to discover they had been intimate with multiple partners. Teens weren’t always the same person at school or the mall or a friend’s party as parents saw at the dinner table.
“So she dated a little?”
Jennifer looked down. She fidgeted with the glass, turning it in circles on a coaster.
“She wanted to. She was interested in boys and the social scene. But… she wasn’t very popular.”
“Ah.”
“You remember what it was like.” Jennifer looked at Zachary, meeting his eyes. “The cliques. The bullies. How the… less popular kids… were harassed.”
Zachary swallowed. He shook his head slightly, not wanting to be drawn into memories about their high school days. “Yes, I remember.”
“Kristin was… heavy. She was a nice-looking girl, and so friendly and outgoing. But people didn’t see that. They just saw her weight and judged her by her body. Teenagers are so focused on outward appearances. The right clothes, makeup, body shape…”
“Are they still?” Zachary couldn’t help asking. With such a high percentage of the population being overweight, it seemed like the ideals should have shifted. What was considered fat when he went to school was normal now. “Was there a lot of fat-shaming? Even when so many of the other kids are overweight?”
Unless Kristin was extremely overweight, so that she stood out from the crowd. Or if only the skinniest girls were allowed to be part of the “in” crowd.
“It’s just the same as it ever was. Or worse. I know you would think that we should be past that now. All of the stuff that is preached on tolerance and inclusivity and diversity. Trying to shed all of those old prejudices. But weight is still an issue—a big one. There is still a lot of shaming going on. And high school is one of the worst environments.”
Zachary remembered the hell that had been high school. It seemed like there had been predators on every side. That nowhere was safe. People that he thought would be nice were not. There was no way to avoid the bullies, to become invisible. When he had known Jennifer, he had been in a bad place emotionally. He remembered a suicide attempt and hospital stay, followed by an outpatient halfway house before being placed in Ptarmigan House, the group home where he and Jennifer had met. Everyone at school seemed to know about his attempted suicide, which just took the bullying to the next level, with both boys and girls telling him he should kill himself, and get it right this time.
They had taken him off all his meds while he’d been in the hospital, saying that they needed to get a baseline and see what he needed. To find something that would work for his depression. Off of his antidepressants, ADHD meds, and sleep aids, he had been a complete mess. Anxious and jittery all the time, hypervigilant, and still depressed, though he tried to pretend that he was holding things together and wouldn’t attempt suicide again. He promised them, even signing an agreement when he left outpatient care, that he would not attempt suicide again, but would instead reach out to his doctor, helpline, or caregiver at Ptarmigan House if he were having suicidal thoughts. But the suicidal thoughts hadn’t gone away. How was he supposed to overcome his depression while on a med holiday?
And the teachers… some of them had been the worst bullies of all.
“How did she do in school?” Zachary asked, forcing his brain to turn back to the case. To Kristin and what had happened to her. “Marks? Teachers? Favorite and least favorite classes?”
“Well, phys ed, obviously. They were supposed to be sensitive to all kids’ abilities and body types, but she got a lot of harassment in gym. She felt like she was targeted by the teachers as well as the other kids. I’m sure they just meant to help her. To encourage her to get into shape and to find physical activities that she enjoyed. But it just came off as disapproval and more shaming. Calling her out in front of the class. Expecting her to be able to keep up with the jocks and cheerleaders. Of course she couldn’t. There was no way she could run as fast as them, do push-ups, lift her own body weight… I’ll never understand why they would force heavy kids into activities like that. Couldn’t they start with… I don’t know… yoga or tai chi? Walking? Just getting them to move their bodies in a comfortable environment…”
Zachary remembered skipping most of his phys ed classes. Unless a teacher or guidance counselor actually walked him to the gym. And when he did go, he still got in trouble. He remembered one incident where he had lost control in wrestling practice. Trying to defend himself against a bigger, stronger boy. How they’d had to pull him off of that other boy and reported him to the supervisors at Ptarmigan House, who had disciplined Zachary in their own way.
A shudder ran through his body at the memory. Jennifer either saw it or felt the vibration through the table. She put her hand on Zachary’s arm. Strengthening. Steadying.
“It’s okay. That’s all over now.” Her voice was so filled with sorrow. Not that Zachary was no longer under the boots of those who had terrorized him as a teen, but that Kristin’s troubles had ended. She no longer had to worry about bullies, children or adults.
6
She didn’t hate school,” Jennifer said. “In spite of gym and the kids who bullied her. She had a lot of friends. Kids who banded together, like you and me. I told her just to find the good ones and not worry about everybody else. She did well in her classes. Didn’t get top marks, but she wasn’t dumb. She understood the work and studied for her tests, and she was always in the upper part of her classes.” Jennifer rubbed at the corners of her eyes, even though no tears had leaked out that Zachary could see. “She wouldn’t have had any trouble applying for college. Not Ivy League, but any of the colleges around here would have taken her.”
“Did the school have any concerns? Want to talk to you about anything happening at the school?”
“No. Kristin wasn’t the kind of girl who attracted a lot of attention. She got along. Did what she was told. Turned in her homework. Didn’t dress in provocative fashions. Just a quiet girl who blended into the background, I think.”
“And did she have any health issues?”
“Well… her weight, like I said.” Jennifer hesitated, then pulled out her phone and thumbed through it for a minute to find a picture for Zachary.
Kristin had a round, pleasant face, but was looking down and to the side, looking sad and like she just wanted to fade out of the pictures. She was more than just a little pudgy. Obese. But so was a significant portion of the population. She didn’t look grotesque. She was clean and well-groomed and her clothes were tailored to her body rather than either draping her like a tent or being pulled tight. Her blond hair fell beside her face in waves.
“She’s very pretty,” Zachary told Jennifer.
“I always thought so. But I’m the mom, so I know I’m sort of biased! She was such a sweetheart. We got along so well and I was lucky to have her. I knew that I was. So many of my friends are always fighting with their kids about something. Breaking rules, drinking, getting in trouble at school. Kristin was just a nice, friendly, well-rounded person.”
Her face flushed, and it took Zachary a moment to realize that she was embarrassed by her use of “well-rounded,” considering her body shape.
“She was lucky to have you,” Zachary told her. “You were always good to me in school.”
His mouth was dry and his tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth as he tried to figure out what else to say to her. He couldn’t talk about those days. It was just too hard.
“Thanks.” Jennifer rubbed her forehead, looking like she had a headache. She probably did; fatigued, worn out by crying, mourning the loss of the little girl she had loved and cared about so much. “I don’t know how any of this is going to help you, though.”
“You never know what might be relevant or help to point me in the right direction. Was there anything else about her health? You mentioned her weight. Her wisdom teeth. The surgeries she had when she was little. Was there anything else recently?”
“She had asthma. I think that went along with being overweight. It was just really hard for her to get around sometimes, carrying that much weight. But she was working hard and she was losing lately. I didn’t ask her how much or draw any attention to it, but she was definitely slimming down.”
“Dieting?”
“Not on any extreme diets, if that’s what you mean. She was trying to eat more healthily. More vegetables, smaller portion sizes. And to get out and get some exercise. She had taken up walking, and I think that was probably the biggest influence. She’d be gone for an hour or two every day, walking around the neighborhood. I don’t know how far she got or how many steps; I was just really proud of her for putting in the effort. We both knew that her weight was the biggest risk to her health.”
Except it hadn’t been. Unless her weight had contributed to her death. The biggest risk had been hidden, something that they never even saw coming. That even now, they couldn’t be sure of.
“What did the medical examiner say was the cause of death?”
“Sudden cardiac death. Cause unknown. But he said it was natural causes. I don’t understand how it can be natural causes when they don’t know the cause.”
“Well… it just means it wasn’t homicide or an accident. He could have said undetermined, I suppose.”
“That would have been more honest, don’t you think?”
“It sounds like it. We’ll have to see what details the medical examiner’s report gives when we get it.”
She shrugged dispiritedly. She put both hands over her face and held them there momentarily, before drawing them down. She looked exhausted.
“Are you getting any sleep?”
“Not really. I fall asleep now and then when I don’t expect to. But when I try… I just lie there thinking about Kristin and what happened to her. About how much I miss her and how quiet the house is. Only it isn’t quiet. There are all kinds of noises that I never noticed before. Almost like she is haunting it.”
“Do you live alone? You don’t have any other children? A spouse or boyfriend?”
“I spent too much time at work,” Jennifer confessed. “My husband eventually got tired of it. We’re still on good terms, but it is a few years since he left. And he has custody of our son. Clark is younger than Kristin. Younger than Kristin was. Fourteen. He’s skinny. Really into computers. He kind of reminds me of you in ways.”
Zachary laughed. “I use computers, but I wouldn’t say I’m any kind of an expert. I still need someone to come and fix it for me if something goes wrong.”
“Well, we didn’t have computers when we knew each other either. I just meant… I don’t know. He’s like you in other ways. Introverted. Does his own thing. He isn’t one of the mean kids; I can’t remember him ever saying anything rude to Kristin about her weight or anything else. A lot of teenage boys would have taken every opportunity.”
Zachary doubted Clark was anything like he was. Shy and geeky, maybe, but that hadn’t been Zachary’s problem. PTSD, ADHD, learning disabilities, depression, being adrift without any support system. Clark hadn’t had to deal with any of those things, from the little Jennifer had said. But she meant it as a compliment. Comparing Zachary to her son was her way of bringing him closer to her family and showing him that he wasn’t as distant as he thought, despite the silence of years.
“Did you have Clark very often? Do you, I mean? Does he come to see you on weekends or holidays? Did he spend any time with Kristin?”
“They got along. They had very different interests, of course, so they didn’t spend a lot of time together, but when we were together for anything, they got along well enough.”
She hadn’t answered the question of how often she had Clark over. Less often than she would like would be his guess. Had Clark chosen to be with his father instead of his mother? Or had it been the courts? They might have decided that Jennifer was too busy with her career to give him the attention a younger child needed. “A few years” since the breakup probably meant at least three. The needs of a ten or eleven-year-old were quite a bit higher than those of a fourteen-year-old.
Zachary decided not to press the issue. It wasn’t his place to pry into Jennifer’s personal life. He needed to focus on Kristin and finding out what had caused her sudden death.
7
I’ll look at the medical examiner’s report in detail,” Zachary told Jennifer. “I have a friend who will help me with that. Give me some ideas on anything that might have been missed or wasn’t filled out the right way… if anything looks wrong… But my expertise isn’t in the medical stuff. It’s in private investigation. Talking to people. Figuring out if something was going on in her life that she wasn’t telling you. Or maybe symptoms she was having that no one recognized at the time. Even changes in behavior can indicate that there was something going on. Something medical.”
Jennifer opened her mouth and then shut it. Zachary watched her, waiting for her to think about whatever she had been about to say.
