There is nothing to be done about it. I was right to leave Hertfordshire when I did.

  If he never laid eyes on her again, it might undoubtedly pain him and cause a part of him to wonder still, but at the end of the day, he would remember that he had done the right thing.

  A part of him could not help thinking such a line of thought was in vain. If Miss Elizabeth had done what was expected of her and what was in the best interest of all her family and had indeed married her cousin, Mr. William Collins, then Darcy in all likelihood would see her again.

  Mr. William Collins, after all, resides at the parsonage in Hunsford. Indeed, his home abuts my aunt Lady Catherine’s estate.

  Darcy always visited his aunt at Easter and that year would be no exception. Not only did his aunt depend on the visit, but his cousin Anne depended on it as well. Despite their general expectation that on one such trip, Darcy might finally offer his hand in marriage to Anne, something he would never ever do, he looked forward to the annual visit as well. He loved his aunt. He loved his cousin Anne too. Only he did not love her in the way a man loves a woman whom he takes as a wife.

  He would be lying if he suggested that the thought of disappointing his cousin Anne’s hopes once again did not pain him, but what was he to do?

  I know exactly what I must do. Is there no wonder my protests against the scheme fall on deaf ears when discussing the matter with my aunt? It is Cousin Anne to whom I must make this confession. That is precisely what I shall do when I see her again in Kent.

  Chapter 20 ~ Her Expectations

  Miss Caroline Bingley rushed into the drawing-room where her sister Louisa sat attending her needlecraft and Louisa’s husband and Caroline’s brother-in-law, Mr. Hurst, lay asleep on the sofa.

  “Louisa, my dear,” cried Caroline. “You will never guess what news from Hertfordshire.”

  “Dear sister, if you do not mind my saying, you certainly maintain a keen interest in that part of the world from which you were so eager to escape.”

  “Then I take it from your response that you are not interested in my news.”

  “Oh, I never said that.” Louisa placed her needlework aside, thus giving her sister her full attention. “Pray, what have you heard?”

  “Well, it seems there was a wedding. However, it is not the wedding that we had taught ourselves to hope for—you do remember, a wedding between Miss Eliza Bennet and that ridiculous cousin of hers, Mr. William Collins.

  “However, if I am to believe what is being said, the gentleman did offer his hand in marriage to Eliza Bennet, but she had the audacity to turn him down. Imagine that! A lowly country gentleman’s daughter, with no wealth and no connections to speak of and absolutely nothing to recommend herself to a gentleman of consequence, fancied herself too good to marry the heir of her own father’s estate. What must she be thinking?” Caroline’s mouth gaped. “You do not think that impertinent little country nothing thinks— “

  Impatient to know where her sister’s thoughts tended, Louisa cried, “Pray, go on.”

  “I do not dare say the words out loud for fear of the remote possibility they may indeed unfold.”

  “Since when does saying a thing make said thing come true?”

  “Stranger things are known to have happened. I would not wish to tempt fate.”

  “Well, you need not say a word, for I already begin to suspect what you are about.”

  “I suppose you think you know me so well.”

  “I believe I know you better than anyone on Earth—almost so well as you know yourself.”

  “If you know me so well, then you must tell me what I was about to say.”

  “It is simple. You are afraid that Miss Elizabeth spurned her cousin’s hand in marriage because she believes there is a possibility that your Mr. Darcy will return to Hertfordshire riding his great white horse like a knight in shining armor to marry her and whisk her off to Pemberley.”

  “Oh! Heaven forbid,” Caroline cried, “but she cannot be too pleased with the manner of his leave-taking. Even you espied how intimate the two of them were. Why, Mr. Darcy did not dance with any other woman at the ball—other than Eliza Bennet – slighting you and me, both. Surely that alone was enough to increase her expectations.”

  “Indeed, but his attention towards her at the ball did not prevent him from joining our brother, Charles, when he took his leave from Netherfield the next day, and it most certainly has not compelled him to return. Mr. Darcy knows his own mind. He follows his own counsel. If he were the least bit inclined to return to Hertfordshire to rescue fair-lady Miss Elizabeth Bennet, then surely he would have done so by now.”

  Her sister’s wise words were just what Caroline needed to hear. She smiled. “Of course, you are correct. Hertfordshire is the last place on Earth Mr. Darcy would wish to be. His every action confirms it.” She stood to quit the room.

  Louisa said, “Are you not forgetting something, dear sister?”

  Caroline glanced at the spot on the sofa she had just vacated. “I do not think so.”

  “I believe you were about to tell me about a recent wedding in Hertfordshire. Pray who is the lucky bride?”

  “Oh! It is Charlotte, Sir William Lucas’s elder daughter. You do remember her.”

  “Indeed. But is she not advancing in age? At least seven and twenty if I recall correctly. She is rather old to be a bride. Pray what courageous and generous gentleman decided to save her from the wretched throes of spinsterhood?”

  “None other than Mr. William Collins,” replied Miss Caroline Bingley.

  “Mr. Collins? But did you not say that he offered his hand in marriage to Miss Elizabeth?”

  “Indeed, I did. However, having traveled so far to secure the hand of his cousin and being so roundly rejected – or so I am told – I suppose he did not want to return to his home empty-handed.”

  Chapter 21 ~ Threadbare Topics

  Elizabeth was not surprised upon espying the tall, handsome Lt. George Wickham just up ahead in the lane. Such occasions were occurring more and more frequently of late. He would always turn and accompany her back to Longbourn Village. Not that she minded one bit. He was charming, and he spoke with a great deal of intelligence and in a manner that would render even the most threadbare topics as engaging.

  Of course, there were times when he seemed only interested in speaking of her friend Charlotte’s recent marriage. That particular morning was one such time. Elizabeth, as always, wanted nothing to do with such talk.

  Endeavoring to put an end to it, she said, “Pardon me, sir, but you appear to take an eager interest in my friend’s marriage to my cousin.”

  “I can understand why you feel that way but allow me to assure you that in speaking of the Collinses, I believe my principal interest lies primarily with you.”

  “Me,” Elizabeth exclaimed with energy.

  “Indeed. It is my way of sketching your character, at least as regards the institution of marriage.”

  “But surely if there is something you wish to know, then you might ask me directly. Talk of the Collinses is hardly required before broaching such a subject. I do know other married couples.”

  “Your point is well-taken, Miss Elizabeth.”

  “What is it that you wish to find out about my views on marriage?”

  “Well, Miss Elizabeth, are you opposed to the idea of marriage in general? Or do you, like so many other young ladies, consider it the crowning achievement of a woman’s life?”

  Elizabeth was walking alongside the gentleman and owing to his height, she did not suffer the most helpful vantage point from which to gauge his countenance. What an impertinent question coming from someone so little connected to her. He must have sensed her ill-ease.

  “You did give me permission to be direct, did you not?”

  “Yes—yes, of course, I did. However, you presume too much in merely asking such a question. It is true that I had no wish to marry my cousin. Had you the privilege of making his acquaintance then you would know the reason I was adamantly opposed to such an alliance. It is not so much that I did not like him. I can honestly say I do not totally dislike him. However, I did not respect him, and I know myself too well to even contemplate marrying a man whom I cannot respect.

  “To do so would subject me to misery of the acutest kind. Neither my cousin nor I would have been happy in such a situation. I am sure we can agree that at least one of the people who find themselves bound together for all eternity ought to be happy.”

  “Oh, at least one,” said Lt. George Wickham in a manner rising to playfulness. “Preferably both, no doubt, but certainly at least one.”

  “I am happy to know that we are of the same opinion,” said Elizabeth in a similar tone. For the first time in their acquaintance, she was tempted to close some of the distance she liked to maintain between the two of them when they were walking side by side, but she thought better of it. They were not too far from Longbourn Village, and she did not want to chance being seen in such an intimate manner with her younger sisters’ favorite. Soon enough, she and the lieutenant would be entering the manor house whereupon her youngest sisters would seize the gentleman by either of his arms and take him off Elizabeth’s hands. That was to say nothing of how her mother would receive him. She seemed just as giddy as Kitty and Lydia when in the dashing Lt. Wickham’s presence.

  “I should like to think the two of us have a great deal in common, Miss Elizabeth.”

  She said nothing, which must undoubtedly have obliged him to continue his speech.

  “You and I are exceedingly pleasing to look at, even if I must say so myself.”

  Again, Elizabeth said nothing. What could she say? He knew he was handsome. Everybody knew. She dared not speak about her own beauty.

  Wickham continued, “We are both amiable and warm-hearted, and we fall readily into conversation with everyone we meet. With such happy manners as ours, we are sure to make friends wherever we go. Add to all that, we possess a healthy degree of mutual admiration and respect for each other, and what can be more important than that?”

  Here, the gentleman ceased his steps, prompting Elizabeth to do likewise. He turned and faced her directly.

  “I suppose what I am saying is whenever I contemplate my future life and the person with whom I wish to share it, but one person comes to mind. That person is you, Miss Elizabeth. Would you—will you please do me the honor of accepting my hand in marriage?”

  By now Elizabeth was utterly stunned. Without even thinking of the prospect of a life with such a man, all she could contemplate was the fact that she had now received two proposals of marriage and neither of them from the gentleman whom she might have preferred, and what a perilous situation such a scheme presented to her.

  Do I dare reject the hand of a second gentleman within a span of so short a time out of some vague hope of receiving a proposal from another—one that will likely never unfold?

  Elizabeth was silent. She stared. She mused.

  Lt. Wickham must have read in her silence, acquiescence, were one to judge by his very satisfied expression. “Miss Elizabeth, you have made me the happiest man in all of England,” he said, taking her hand in his. “When shall I speak with your father?”

  She was silent no more! “I beg your pardon, sir?” Elizabeth cried.

  “I asked when I shall speak with your father? Although I confess to having never found myself in such a felicitous situation as this, I do believe it is the usual manner in which one proceeds having been blessed with a favorable reply to one’s proposal of marriage.”

  “Sir, I fear you presume too much, for I do not recall saying anything in response to your proposal.”

  “No—but surely you do not intend to refuse me.”

  “And why would you assume such a thing?” Elizabeth asked, freeing her hand.

  “Am I not a particular favorite of yours? Have I not attended you must prodigiously over the past weeks? You can have no reason not to agree to my proposal. I will confess that I am not very rich. Then again, neither are you and with that said, I shall make no demand of that nature on your father since I am well aware that it could not be complied with.”

  Elizabeth’s mind wandered to an earlier time when she heard words of a similar vein from her ridiculous cousin, Mr. Collins. She could easily dismiss them coming from him, but the gentleman standing before her was no Mr. Collins.

  But for two fundamental reasons, she simply could not find it in herself to say yes. For one, there was the matter of the gentleman’s past attachment, albeit fleeting, with a Miss Mary King.

  Everyone in Meryton knows that Lt. Wickham had set his cap on that young lady once she inherited ten thousand pounds. Who would not look upon me as a substitute?

  If I am totally honest with myself, the issue of Mr. Wickham’s proposal on the heels of Miss Mary King’s defection has little to do with anything.

  Truth be told, Elizabeth had not entirely taught herself to accept that Mr. Darcy was lost to her forever. He had left Hertfordshire just as suddenly as he had arrived, and who was to say if he might ever return?

  Surely if his aunt has her way, he is already or will soon be married to his cousin, Miss Anne de Bourgh.

  There was also the matter of her rejection of her cousin’s hand. Though such instances as a woman spurning a gentleman’s hand ought to be held in some degree of confidence, with her mother perceiving herself as the aggrieved party in the scheme, Elizabeth felt everyone in Meryton must surely know what she had done, even if they did not speak openly about it.

  I do not dare refuse such a respectable man’s offer of marriage so soon after rejecting my cousin. My mother would be prostrate with grief over such a prospect. Why even my father might not understand—especially with the gentleman in question being Mr. Wickham—a frequent and often celebrated guest in our home.

  Elizabeth wanted—nay needed more time before answering the question.

  Wickham must have surmised that she needed time as well for he said, “I know that the prospect of being a lieutenant’s wife might give you pause. You are a gentleman’s daughter, reared to have maids and servants—a home of your own.”

  He took her by the hand once more. “You must trust me when I say that I will give you all that.

  “Indeed, my late godfather bestowed upon me the living in Kympton once it becomes available. You need not worry on that account.” Still holding her hand in his, he gave it a gentle squeeze. “What say you that instead of giving me an answer, you take time to think about what I have proposed? I love you, Miss Elizabeth. I shall wait for you.”

  Elizabeth did not want to consider herself mercenary, but Wickham’s account of the living in Kympton was not without its merits. While her heart had not been touched by the handsome gentleman standing before her and holding her hand in his, she was fond of him—indeed, she had grown to like him very much.

  Who is to say that, in time, I might not grow to love him?

  From where she stood, she rather doubted such a change in sentiment would manifest itself anytime soon.

  How can it, for so much as I am wont to deny it, I fear my heart already belongs to another?

  Chapter 22 ~ Terribly Distracted

  The span of three and a half days was not enough to relieve Elizabeth of her utter dismay. How wretched it was to find herself in the unenviable position of rejecting the hand of yet another gentleman.

  I cannot help it. I believe in love, however impractical the sentiment may be. Who is to say when or where or even if I may have a chance to suffer such a sentimentality again?

  She paced the floor. Do I not owe it to myself to wait just a while longer? Charlotte was seven and twenty before marrying and leaving her father’s home. Can I not allow myself another couple of years at most?

  Elizabeth was sensible enough to know that no two circumstances were ever the same.

  The one thing I have weighing heavily against me is that my father’s estate is entailed to the male line. There has always been the very real possibility that my mother, my sisters and I might very well be thrown into the hedgerows should my father meet with an untimely passing. With five daughters and no sons, it is imperative that at least one of us marry and to the extent either of us can help it, marry well.

  Oh! I shall not think of that today. Otherwise, I shall find myself going terribly distracted.

  Grabbing her bonnet and coat, Elizabeth set off for her second solitary ramble that morning. As had been the case earlier, she chose a completely different path from that which she usually favored, for it simply would not do were she to meet Lt. Wickham. She had managed to avoid being alone with him quite successfully, even though he had called on Longbourn as was his near-daily wont to do.

  Having been privy to the news that he was going away to town on business was just the balm Elizabeth needed to calm her warring spirits. In fact, upon returning to Longbourn in time to hear that she had missed Mr. Wickham, who was still very much perceived as her younger sisters’ favorite beau, she was not disappointed in the least bit. She was, however, rather pleased to be handed a letter from her friend Charlotte, whom Elizabeth had not heard from since the wedding. Therein was an invitation.

  Elizabeth’s thoughts upon receiving a request from Charlotte to come to Kent for a visit at Easter were a mixture of trepidation and relief. She dreaded the idea of spending time with her ridiculous cousin, Mr. Collins, whose offer of marriage she had spurned and in no uncertain terms. Yet, she was relieved to have the excuse of being away from Hertfordshire and, consequently, Lt. Wickham whose offer of marriage she had no intention of accepting—at least she did not think she would.

  How can I so long as I continue to suffer even the tiniest shred of hope? Even if he were committed to another. Nothing is really over until it is over.

  Therein was another reason that her friend’s invitation proved too tempting to ignore. Visiting Charlotte would put Elizabeth in proximity to the young woman who might one day be Mrs. Fitzwilliam Darcy. Charlotte’s letter had made mention of the young lady – their budding friendship and the like, but nothing to suggest she had recently enjoyed a change in marital status.

 

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