Broken promises, p.18
Broken Promises, page 18
Letting myself love Declan is the best and scariest thing I’ve ever done.
THIRTY-FOUR
declan
It’s my first time backstage at one of Shattered Halo’s shows. The reason for that still stings a little when I think about it, but then I remember I have her. I have Willa. My wife. The love of my fucking life. And suddenly the sting fades away and all I see is her.
It’s crazy behind the scenes. Staff buzzing around everywhere in a way that looks like chaos, but considering the opening band was on stage right at eight and now Willa is about to go out exactly at nine like was scheduled, I guess it’s working.
“There’s a VIP you need to meet after the show,” Nate tells the band as he flies past us. They all roll their eyes.
“That’s bad?” I ask.
“They’re usually a spoiled brat that has a hissy fit when they realize daddy’s money doesn’t get them into our pants,” Kai says.
“You’re joking,” I say, looking at the lack of smiles on their faces.
“Nope. There was one guy who is the son of some airline tycoon that honestly thought he could buy a night with Willa.” A growl escapes my throat at Mav’s words, my fists clenching at my sides. Willa makes her way over to me and places her hands on my chest. She looks like a fucking badass in her tight black jeans and low-cut purple body suit.
“I told him I didn’t like men with such little penises they had to use their daddy’s money to get laid.”
“She also said she forgot her microscope at home so she wouldn’t be able to find his dick anyway. He cried a little,” Kai adds, looking like a proud brother.
“Don’t worry. The fans and VIPs are kept on the other side of the stage. We get to be on this side. So you won’t risk your marriage and career by murdering someone for saying they want to screw your wife,” Harlow says.
Willa sighs and grabs my face in her hands. “No murder. I only screw you,” she says, lips twitching when she uses Harlow’s phrasing. “I’m surrounded by fans who want to sleep with you at every one of your games, and I haven’t killed a single one of them. I think you can handle this without committing a crime.”
“Fine,” I grumble and lean down to kiss her.
“One minute,” Nate yells as he power walks past us in the opposite direction.
“Have fun out there, Princess.”
“Always do, hockey boy,” she says, getting up on her toes and kissing me before making her way out onto the stage.
“What?” I ask Harlow when I catch her staring at me.
“You make her happy.”
“Not as happy as she makes me,” I say, turning and smiling as I watch Willa. Her eyes are closed as she beats her sticks on her drums. She’s so fucking beautiful when she’s engrossed in her music like that.
“Maybe happy isn’t the right word. Soft? That might be closer.”
I turn my attention back to Harlow, raising a brow in question.
“Willa and I weren’t super close in high school, but we were friendly enough. Even when she smiled, she was hard. Like she was always ready for a fight or to jump in and defend someone.”
“And now?” I ask, curious about what point she’s trying to make.
“Now she’s happy. She doesn’t seem like she’s constantly waiting to wage war or something. Like her shoulders are finally relaxed, and her smile reaches her eyes. You know?”
“Yeah,” I say. I know what she means. I noticed it on Christmas after she told me she loved me. I don’t know why it was so hard for her, not that I can’t guess. But I don’t need to, and I’ll never ask her because just knowing she loves me as much as I love her is enough. Hell, it’s more than enough. It’s everything I never knew I wanted and always needed. The moment the words passed her lips, I felt like my life finally clicked into place. She was always the missing piece.
I’m glad I wore jeans. I had to excuse myself to the bathroom after the first song to strap myself down behind my zipper. I couldn’t help it. Watching my wife out there was hot as fuck, and all I wanted to do was take her back to the dressing room and show her.
The second they were finished and made their way to us, I had Willa in my arms. She wrapped legs around my waist, which did nothing to stop the painful erection I’m still sporting.
“I’m sweaty,” Willa says, trying to pull away from me.
“I don’t care.” I grab the back of her neck and bring her closer so I can take her lips. She gasps at how hungrily I kiss her, and I want to swallow every sound she makes.
“I’ve never felt so fucking single.”
I break away from Willa to see Maverick scowling at all of us. Harlow is in Cal’s arms, and Kai has Belle tucked closely to his side.
“Sorry, man,” I say, putting Willa down gently, but still keeping her in my arms.
“VIP meet and greet, now,” Jon says, coming up to us, looking pissed.
“Try that again but ask nicely, or you can explain to them why the band is refusing to meet with them,” Willa says, scowling at him. I try to hide my smile. It’s such a turn on when she puts people in their place.
Jon sighs and runs his hand through his hair. “I’m sorry. I’ve been stuck with her the whole show. She’s a real piece of work,” he says. “Can we please go get the meet and greet over with so I can get a beer?”
“Yes,” Willa answers. Jon lets out a breath and motions for us to follow him.
“Should I wait?” I ask, realizing the woman didn’t pay to see me.
“Nope. I won’t see you for a week, so I’m not wasting any time I have.” I smile at her answer and kiss the top of her head.
“Was Jon the best option for entertaining her?” I ask quietly. Not quietly enough because he turns his annoyed face on me.
“No. Jo usually does it, but she stayed home to edit the podcast episode since there were no VIPs. This was last minute, so I got stuck with it.”
“I’m surprised she’s still here,” Cal jokes. Jon snorts and turns back to lead us to a room down the hall from the dressing rooms. I looked at Willa’s longingly as we passed it. She caught me and laughs. Jon opens the door and moves aside so we can step in.
“What the fuck are you doing here?”
THIRTY-FIVE
willa
My eyes fly between the blonde bombshell in the tightest red dress I’ve ever seen sitting on the black leather couch in front of us, and my suddenly furious husband. His hand grips mine so tight that it verges on painful, but I don’t try to pull away. Declan is never angry, not like this.
And suddenly I know who this is.
“Don’t pretend you’re not happy to see me, Decky. I paid a lot of money to see you tonight.”
“How did you know I would be here? This is a meet and greet for my wife and her band. Not me. Do I need a restraining order?” I can feel the tension in Declan’s body. He’s on the edge of snapping.
“We’re in Boston, and you don’t have a game until tomorrow. It wasn’t that hard,” she says, standing and trying to saunter towards him, but I quickly step in front of her. She sneers down at me from her towering heels just as Declan tries to pull me back.
“Bethany I assume?” She doesn’t answer me, just continues to glare at me like she can make me disappear with her hateful thoughts. “I’m Willa. Declan’s wife.”
“Yeah, I heard all about your façade of a marriage,” she says to Declan. “Don’t worry, Daddy can get it annulled so we can be together.”
Belle grabs my arm and holds tight, probably knowing I’m about to launch myself at her. Harlow takes her lead and grabs the other one while Declan wraps an arm around my waist.
“She’s not worth it, Princess,” Declan says, pulling me against his chest. I instantly relax against him.
“Not worth it?” Bethany screeches, her face turning as red as a tomato.
“Nope,” Declan says. “One drunken night with you could’ve cost me everything and it wasn’t even memorable.”
“Uh, do I need to call security?” Jon asks because he’s terrible at reading the room.
“Yes,” I tell him without looking away from Bethany.
“What makes her so fucking special? Mediocre band whores are your thing?”
I watch Kai grab Belle before she can throw herself at Bethany. Cal has a solid grip on Harlow too. If the moment wasn’t so tense, I would be happy to have friends like them.
Declan holds me even tighter and takes a deep breath, trying to calm himself. I wrap my arms around his that are still around my waist and thread our fingers together. He squeezes them before speaking.
“Willa is and always has been everything to me. She’s always been the most important person in my life, and she will be until the day I die. I don’t have to justify my relationship to anyone, especially you. But since it seems you don’t understand, I’ll put this as simply as I can.” Declan turns me in his arms so I’m facing him. He looks at me as he speaks his next words. “Willa is the love of my life. I married her because I love her and want to spend the rest of my life showing her how much. She is my forever.” He looks up at Bethany as security sweeps in to remove her. “There is no ending where you and I are ever anything to each other.”
Bethany screams and fights as security removes her from the room. She shouts about her dad killing our careers, but I barely notice her.
“I know she forced our hand and made us get married faster than we would have naturally,” Declan says as he lifts his hands to cradle my cheek. “We’re inevitable, Princess. We would’ve always ended up here.”
I wrap my arms around his neck and pull myself up his body so I can be face to face with him. “I love you.” He kisses me like no one is watching.
“She’s the reason I didn’t get to be your maid of honor?” Belle asks. I break the kiss to look at her, thinking she’s going to be upset I didn’t tell her, but instead she’s looking out the empty doorway like she’s considering following Bethany out.
I nod, choosing not to explain everything.
Because what Declan said was right. We are inevitable. This love I feel for him isn’t new. It’s not a new sensation in my chest or a foreign feeling I got when I looked at him. It was always there, waiting for me to acknowledge it. The reason we got married no longer matters and it would just hurt feelings. The reason we’re married now and will hopefully stay that way is what matters.
“Damn,” Cal says, scratching his jaw and looking awkward. “Not your best decision there, Dec.”
“You had a baby with a stranger, Callahan. You don’t get to comment,” Harlow says, putting him in his place. I laugh because she has a point.
Declan laughs and claps Cal on the shoulder with me still in his arms. “You’re not wrong, man.”
“Alright, she’s gone,” Jon says. “I called Jo to give her a heads up. She’s getting in touch with the PR team to make them aware in case Bethany goes to the press. But you should probably call your PR team, Declan. Get them on it from your end too.”
“Thanks. I’ll call them,” Declan says to him.
“We have your backs,” Belle says, coming to stand next to us, Kai still attached to her side. “Anyone with eyes can see your marriage is real, and you love each other. Don’t let some crazed bimbo get to you.”
I snort and slide down Declan so I can hug Belle. “I’m sorry,” I whisper to her. She squeezes me.
“I understand. I wouldn’t want to try to explain that woman to anyone. Luckily, Kai is too much of an asshole for anyone to chase him.”
“Hey!” Kai complains.
“Except for me, obviously,” she says, grinning up at him. His fake frown cracks, and he smiles back before kissing her.
“Someone, please smother me in my sleep and put me out of my misery,” Mav mutters before leaving the room. I watch him leave, the sadness weighing his shoulders down.
“We need to find Ezra,” I say. I’ve been having the small moments of guilt. Like being happy is somehow a betrayal to Ezra. I snap myself out of it pretty quickly, but then that’s followed by guilt for not dedicating more time to finding him. It’s a cycle that’s getting old and needs to end soon. I can’t keep feeling guilty over living my life and finding happiness.
“Jo and I are planning on spending our time on the bus going through more leads that have been submitted to the platform. My dad is still trying to find anything to lead us to Gavin Irons. That man is a ghost, though,” Harlow says, her eyes trained on the doorway where Mav disappeared.
“Bus is leaving in twenty minutes!” Nate yells as he breezes by.
I sigh and snuggle into Declan. “I wish you could come with us.”
“I do too, Princess.”
“We’ll see at you at your game next week,” Kai says, patting Dec on the shoulder as he leaves the room with Belle. Cal does the same thing as he leaves with Harlow.
“I meant everything I said,” Declan says when we have the room to ourselves. “I believe with everything I am that we would still fall in love and get married. We’re lucky we got to do it sooner.”
I laugh and shake my head. “Oh yeah? What else do you believe?”
“That we’re going to have kids, and you’re going to be the best mom to them. That we’re going to bring them back to the campground where we met every summer.” He kisses me, his lips barely brushing mine before he speaks again. “We’re going to go on so many adventures, Princess.”
“I can’t wait,” I whisper against his lips. The idea of kids is still terrifying to me, but I can see the picture Declan is painting, and I want it.
Declan’s lips crash into mine. I kiss him back with equal ferocity. I want him to feel how much I miss him on his lips for days.
“Willa! Bus!” Nate yells.
“Fuck,” Declan curses. He kisses me again, gently this time. “I’ll call you on the way to the airport tomorrow.” I nod, holding back tears. It’s so much harder to leave him this time around. “I love you, Princess.”
“I love you too, baby.”
We separate in the parking lot with another steamy kiss. He walks me to the bus, leaving me after telling me how much he loves me again before heading to his own car.
This is going to be the longest week of my life.
THIRTY-SIX
declan
“How are you doing with all this?” Gideon asks me while we change before our game. By ‘all of this’ he means Bethany causing a stink with the press with claims my marriage is fake. She tried telling them my marriage was fake, but no one bought it, so now she’s trying to make Willa out to be a home wrecker. She even cried in front of a poster of me that I did for Nike. It’s picking up more traction than it should.
“Worse than Willa. She’s not bothered by Bethany at all.”
“She loves you and is secure in your relationship. That’s not a bad thing.”
“I just hate that this is happening at all.”
My phone vibrates next to me, and I grab it.
Princess
I won’t see you before you get on the ice. I’m so sorry, baby. The traffic sucks.
I sigh and hang my head. I haven’t seen Willa in a week. Not since the event with Bethany.
Cora is in your jersey. Look how cute she looks!
I smile when a picture of Cora sitting in her car seat wearing my jersey comes through.
She’s going to be my lucky charm tonight.
I’m nervous. The last time we played New York, the team was blatantly targeting me. To the point where Coach considered benching me tonight. He agreed to let me start as long as I didn’t argue if he made the call to pull me. It was the best I was going to get.
I love you. Kick ass tonight, hockey boy.
I love you too, Princess.
“Monroe.”
“Yeah, Coach?” I ask warily. He better not have changed his mind.
“Mr. Sinclair wants to talk to you,” Coach says. His face is stone, and I can’t tell if this is bad or not. Anderson Sinclair owns the Boston Bruisers. If he wants to talk to me right before a game that isn’t even at our home arena, it has to be bad. Right?
“Stop panicking. He didn’t seem mad,” Coach says.
“Did he seem happy?” Martinez asks.
“No.”
“Great,” I mutter. I’m in full uniform, skates included. I stand and look down. “Uh.”
“He’s right outside. Stay dressed.”
“Thanks, Coach.” I take a deep breath and ignore the stares of my suddenly quiet teammates.
Mr. Sinclair is standing right outside the locker room. His arms are crossed over his chest. Anderson Sinclair is a large and intimidating man. He’s my height, in good shape, and smells like money. His black hair is slicked back, and his brown eyes find mine immediately. He’s not much older than I am. He inherited the team from his dad.
“What can I do for you, Mr. Sinclair?” I ask, trying to keep the nerves out of my voice.
“Is your marriage fake?”
My eyes widen at first, but then I get mad. “I’m really sick of that question. I’m sick of everyone questioning if I love my wife or if I’m using her.”
Sinclair’s eyes narrow on me, but then I point to the gold band on his left ring finger.
“How would it make you feel? Knowing you made a single mistake before you even started dating her and that mistake keeps publicly telling people your relationship isn’t real and that you don’t really love her. I’m lucky enough to have a wife that is in the spotlight too and knows it’s absolute bullshit, but I still fucking hate it.” I scrub my hand down my face. “I have loved my wife since I was six years old. My head was up my ass until recently, but it’s on straight now. She is everything to me, and if you’re here to kick me off the team because some spoiled brat isn’t getting what she wants, then go right ahead. I still get to walk away with the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”
