Kaboom, p.27
Kaboom, page 27
“Yes, my friend assured me that training was part of the deal, for veterans. Don’t worry about it, Clay, I’m sure it will work out for you.” Nathan read the hesitation in Clay’s eyes. “Yes, even for an amputee. Even for a guy with a limp, who uses a cane, who might still need to keep a pair of crutches at home for when he takes the prosthesis off.” At Clay’s surprised look, he added, “I still have mine. If I need to get up and pee at night, I don’t want to take the time to attach the prosthesis. I’ve tried hopping, but that makes too much noise and bothers Renee.”
“I could never hop on my one leg,” Clay said. “I’m sure I’d fall flat on my face and kill myself.”
“I tell you what, Clay, I bet you can walk without your cane, or a limp, by this winter. You can do it for me as a Hanukkah gift.”
“That’s a challenge I’ll accept,” Clay replied, then looked at his application on the computer screen. All he needed to do was click on the word Submit, and it would be an official done deal. He hesitated a moment, then clicked on it.
“Congratulations!” Nathan said. “Let me know when you hear back. Here, we need to toast this.”
He went to the refrigerator and pulled out a bottle. “This is only apple juice,” he said, as he poured it into glasses. “It isn’t even noon yet, and I know you drove here. Congrats on that too, by the way.” Despite it being only apple juice, they clinked the glasses together as if it were champagne.
“L’chaim,” Nathan said. “To life.”
“To life,” Clay replied.
To life. He was actually toasting to it, celebrating life. A few months ago he never would have done such a thing, feeling that his life was not worth celebrating, not worth living. His friendship with Nathan Jacoby, and the love he somehow still received from Julie, had changed his mind on that score.
“Do you want to punch that bag a little more?” Nathan asked. “Work on your footwork a little?”
“You mean work on doing a kick without falling on my ass? I’d like to, but I can’t stay. I really appreciate your help. I hope you don’t think I’m ungrateful, but I need to go talk to Julie right away. If this happens, it’s going to affect her too.”
“Of course,” Nathan assured him. “Go consult with your lovely Julie. I’m glad to hear you say that, considering that when we first met, you said the two of you had broken up.”
“I tried to break up with her,” Clay admitted. “But she wouldn’t let me, and I’m so happy about that. I almost lost her, yet despite what a jerk I was, she’s sticking with me.”
Nathan smiled, and Clay saw him looking at the gold wedding band on his left hand. “Go, before you make me cry, schmendrick.”
He drove to Julie’s house, relieved to see her car parked outside. When he knocked on the door, her mother answered.
“May I speak to Julie?” he asked, hesitantly, taking a small protective step backward on the front porch, fully expecting Mrs. Peterson to ream him a new one for his spending the night there with her precious, only daughter. But rather than shrieking how dare you and bashing him over the head with a frying pan, Julie’s mom smiled broadly, invited him in, and hugged him.
“Clay, it is lovely to see you! How are you doing? I’m so sorry to hear about your injury. Julie says you’re recuperating quite well.” She glanced at his cane. “Please, sit down. Would you like some coffee?”
“No, thank you.” Clay’s mind reeled at how downright, maternally sweet Mrs. Peterson was being towards him. If she only knew all of what had transpired here when she and Julie’s father had been out of town. “I really just need to see Julie for a minute, if that’s OK.”
“Of course, dear. I’ll get her.”
But there was no need for Mrs. Peterson to fetch her daughter, because Julie bustled into the room, dressed for work.
“Cowboy!” Her beautiful face bloomed in a smile, and she kissed him right there in front of her mother, who didn’t even faint or get mad.
“I’ll let you two talk,” Mrs. Peterson said, and tactfully disappeared.
“I have to leave for work real soon,” Julie said. “But I’m so happy you stopped over. Kiss me so I’ll have something good to think about when Chef is yelling at us to plate up.”
He obliged her with the kiss, and it almost made him forget why he’d come to talk to her.
“Did you know that Henry Ford didn’t invent the car?” he asked, and she looked surprised.
“Of course I knew that. He invented the moving assembly line. We learned that in high school history class.”
“Maybe you learned it. I was too distracted by a beautiful blonde to pay attention.”
“That’s what you came over to tell me?”
“No, not really. Julie.” His serious tone made her stop and look at him. “What do you think of Virginia?”
Her eyebrows came together, thoughtfully, seeming slightly confused at the question. “Virginia? We’ve been there once. The summer after my freshman year, my brothers had just graduated, and we went on a vacation to Washington D.C. It was very pretty. Why?”
“I just applied for a job there. As a welding apprentice. If I get it, I’ll be working on constructing ships in Newport News.”
“That’s wonderful! Does that mean Navy ships? But what about …” She glanced down.
“My missing leg and my prosthesis? I’d be working for civilian contractors, and apparently, they seem to think it won’t be an issue. But, it is in Virginia. I know you’re probably thinking, there are places here in Illinois where I could learn the trade, find work. But the thing that appeals to me about this opportunity in Virginia is, that even though I’m not serving in the Army anymore, I’ll still be serving in another way, helping to build our Navy. I’d still be contributing even if it is as a civilian.”
“I’m so proud of you,” Julie said. “When you first came home you seemed to feel you couldn’t contribute at all, and now look at the exciting plans you’re making.”
“I’ve only applied. It’s not a sure thing yet. But if it happens, if they accept me, I’d have to move out there. It’s almost nine hundred miles from here. Would you be willing to be in a long-distance relationship with me?”
Did he dare to believe, to hope, that they were, would be, in a real relationship at all?
“No.”
His hopes disintegrated to mush and a knife of sadness pierced his heart, as his soul fell apart, and all the progress he’d made, both physically and emotionally, the reconciliation with Julie, blew apart as if a second Kaboom had happened. His stomach fell to his feet, and he felt as if he just might puke.
You big dummy. Here you thought she still loved you. You thought you had it all figured out. You thought you were safe.
“We were in a long-distance relationship when you were in the Army,” Julie said. “It was awful. I mean, I know you were always faithful, and so was I, but the separation was terrible. I tried to tell myself that we weren’t the only couple in this situation, that pretty much every other person in the military had to experience the same, but that didn’t make it easier. I missed you so much, even though I was so proud of you. I don’t think I could go through that again.”
Devastation swept his soul, smashing it like waves pounding against rocks in a tsunami.
You. Will. Not. Cry.
“Cowboy, are you alright?” Julie’s hands were on his arm. “You’ve gone as white as a sheet. Here, sit down.” She urged him to a seat on the sofa and sat next to him. He was tempted to put his head between his knees as he’d seen done to people about to faint.
“Julie …” he whispered.
“I know I couldn’t be with you when you were in the Army, but I can certainly come with you to Virginia. There is no need for this long-distance relationship nonsense.”
Exultation surged through him like a direct injection of caffeine into the bloodstream. “Are you serious?”
She didn’t hesitate for an instant. “Of course, my Cowboy. I’d move to Antarctica if it meant being with you.”
“Even though it would mean leaving your job here?”
“There are restaurants in Virginia too. Just let me know when, and I’ll give my notice and pack my bags.”
“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. There’s no guarantee right now. And Julie,” he took her hand. “None of this would have been possible without you. I know I was mad at you at first for contacting Sergeant Jacoby and telling him about me, but you were right to do it, and I should have appreciated what you were doing for me. Talking to him has helped me get my head screwed back on straight. One of the first things he ever said to me was that his goal was to offer me hope. At first I thought he was full of shit. But he has, and you have too. Thank you for contacting him. I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve it, to deserve you, but I love you.”
“I love you too, Cowboy.” She put her arms around his neck. And he put one arm around her waist. He did still need the cane now, with Julie close to him, making him feel giddy.
“You know, they gave me a Purple Heart,” he said, “but you’re the one who deserves a medal.”
“You must have been so lonely, alone in that hospital in Germany all that time,” she said. “I’m sorry, Cowboy. I’m so sorry you were alone and scared and hurting, and I wasn’t there to comfort you. I wish I had known sooner about what happened to you. I would have gone there immediately. One phone call and I would have been with you, you know that, don’t you?”
“Yes,” he admitted. “If I hadn’t been such an idiot I would have told you. I really wish I had made that phone call. I should have allowed my parents and Brooke and you especially to come to the hospital. But I was stupid and scared and weird. I thought I didn’t want or need anyone then, but I was wrong. It wasn’t your fault, Julie. You have nothing to be sorry for. I was the one who hurt you, by shutting you out, by breaking up with you.”
He touched her cheek, her hair. “You’re my Viking princess, Julie.”
“And you’re my Cowboy.”
He was just about to kiss her when reality intervened. “Don’t you have to go to work?”
“Damn!” she yelped. “Yes, I really do have to leave now. Walk me to my car?” She turned away and called out, “Bye, Mom!”, then the two of them walked out to her car. He even gallantly opened her door and she smiled at him as she got in and rolled down her window.
“You’ve got your chef coat and your apron and everything?” he asked.
“Yes, dear,” she replied with a smile.
“And your phone? You’ve got gas in your car? Are your tires at the right pressure?”
She sat there smiling and nodding at him until he realized he was sounding like a nervous mommy. “I’m being a nag, aren’t I?” he asked. “You’re perfectly capable of taking care of yourself. You don’t need me nagging at you. I’m sorry.”
“It’s OK,” she replied quickly. “I love that you care enough to nag. You know, just because I can take care of myself doesn’t mean I don’t still need you. What about you, with your dad’s car?” She nodded towards the Camry parked in front of her house.
Clay smiled at her. “Yes, I have my phone, the car has gas, and I’m still covered on my parent’s insurance. Have a good evening at work. And don’t let that security guard get fresh when he walks you to your car after work.”
She rolled her eyes. “I don’t think that will be a problem. His boyfriend would probably kill him.”
“His what? Oh. OK.”
Reassured, Clay watched Julie drive away before getting into his dad’s car to drive home. Driving was becoming familiar and natural by now. He’d always been a right-foot driver anyway, so having an artificial left foot turned out not to be so much of an issue.
The conversation with Julie had been reassuring. The conversation he was anticipating with his parents at dinner tonight was, however, going to be a bit more difficult.
They all stared at him in stunned surprise.
“Virginia?” His mother said it as if she’d never heard of the place. “But Clay, we just got you back. Aren’t there trade schools here in the Chicago area where you could study welding? In fact, I believe there’s a technical college over by the airport. One of my clients was talking about her son going there. I’m sure you could find that kind of work here in Illinois.”
Although he was getting a lot better at talking about his amputated leg, he still refrained from reminding them of the obvious. He was only there back with them because he’d experienced Kaboom. If that hadn’t happened, he’d still be in Afghanistan, or at his home base at Fort Benning, or at Ranger School. His family didn’t “get him back”. They’d been stuck with him after Kaboom, whether they wanted him or not.
“Mom, didn’t you say that Clay was an adult and his life was his own?” Brooke put in. “Or does that only apply to his sex life?”
Clay flushed red at his sister’s words, and both their parents admonished simultaneously, “Brooke!” Brooke tried to look abashed and contrite but was unsuccessful, her mouth twitching with suppressed laughter.
“Yes, I realize that, but it’s not just about learning the trade and finding a job doing it.” Clay leaned forward, eager, for the first time since Kaboom, to explain his feelings. The feeling of enthusiasm coursing through his blood at this opportunity woke him up, broke him out of his cocoon of depression and devastation, as surely as any moth or butterfly undergoing its metamorphosis.
“One of the reasons I joined the Army was because I wanted to be part of something bigger than myself, something where I could contribute, make a difference, and serve our country, to help defend it and keep it strong. If I get this apprenticeship with the welding contractor in Virginia, I’ll still be able to do that, as a civilian. I’ll be working on the construction of Navy ships, new aircraft carriers that are being built. Sergeant Jacoby says that my veteran status will be an advantage, and my amputee status shouldn’t be a hindrance.” This was the most he’d spoken out loud to them since Kaboom, and he could see that they were all a bit surprised to hear the enthusiasm in his voice.
“You know, Clay, in all this time, that’s the first time you’ve ever actually talked about your -” his mother hesitated and Clay finished her thought.
“My leg and the fact that I lost it. I know. I hated that it happened. I still hate it, I’ll always hate it, but at first I felt ashamed and I felt like I was a hideous freak.”
“Clay, you should never feel that way!” his dad said quickly. “You are most definitely neither hideous nor a freak.” Mom patted his hand in agreement.
“I’m still not so sure about that, but I’m working on it.”
“You can’t imagine how amazingly proud we are of you,” Dad went on. “If this opportunity in Virginia is the right thing for you, then we’ll support you one hundred percent. Right, Gail?” Dad looked at his mom, who nodded, but still looked sad at the prospect of her boy moving across the country.
“Well look at you, being all mature and making plans for the future,” Brooke teased, and Clay shot her a look that clearly said, watch it there, girl!
Brooke was grinning at him but he could still see a hint of anxiety in her eyes. She was warning him not to bring up the subject of her own possible plans. But as much as she annoyed him with her teasing, he still wouldn’t mention to their parents that she was considering enlisting in the Army. His parents had heard enough distressing news tonight at the possibility of him moving away. Spilling the beans about Brooke’s possible ambitions would be too much for one day.
Twenty-One
When Clay woke up in the morning, he felt something, a sentiment he hadn’t felt since Kaboom. It was a completely unfamiliar feeling. That was it? It wasn’t depression or despair or anger. It wasn’t even sadness.
The realization hit him like the proverbial ton of bricks. He was bored. It was unbelievable, but for the first time since he’d woken up in that hospital bed in Germany, he wanted to do something. His parents were at work, and Brooke was apparently sleeping in. After limping down to the kitchen – despite his success in standing without the cane last week in Jacoby’s garage, he still wasn’t nearly ready to discard it yet – he made a fresh pot of coffee and tried to think of something productive to do. The dishes were clean, because putting them in the dishwasher and then emptying it were Brooke’s chores.
He took out the garbage. Maybe it was a small, inconsequential chore to do, but it felt like he had finally done something constructive, something to contribute. As he pushed the kitchen door open with his elbow, because he had the garbage bag in one hand and his cane in the other, he couldn’t help but chuckle at the memory of Nathan insisting his son take care of the same chore at their house even if he was involved in a video game. The boy had been about to level up in his game. As for Clay, he needed to level up too. Not in a video game, but in his life.
He looked at the washer and dryer in the laundry room off the kitchen, but didn’t dare attempt using them. His mother would probably murder him if he touched the washing machine without her supervision. But maybe after dinner tonight he’d ask her to teach him how to fold towels, and hoped such a request didn’t make her faint.
He called Julie. She was breathlessly glad to hear from him.
“Cowboy!” From the tinny tone to her voice, he could tell she was in her car, talking on the Bluetooth speaker. “I’m so happy to hear your voice. I’ve been thinking about the other night every minute.”
She didn’t need to specify which other night she was referring to. The night they’d spent together. He had been wondering, ever since then, if his parents or hers would conveniently go out of town again.
“Any chance you’re on your way over here?” he asked. His voice was wistful, longing, not even trying to hide from her how much he craved her company. Another level up for him. Somehow he no longer felt the need to push her away.
“I wish. They just called me in to work. One of the lunch chefs was in an accident and broke his leg, and another one called in that his girlfriend just went into premature labor. So we’re short two people for a while and they need me to do a double shift for the next few days.”
