Sins, p.46
Sins, page 46
‘She certainly owes it to Mummy to be here.’ Cathy’s voice was sharp, and loud enough to carry past the slightly open door to where Rose was hesitating outside in the corridor. ‘Especially when you think of all that Mummy did for her.’
‘No more was done for Rose than for any of the rest of us—’ Emerald started to point out, coming to an abrupt halt as Rose pushed open the door and stepped into the waiting room.
‘Except that you are all either her own or Jay’s daughters–and in the twins’ case both–whilst I am not,’ she said quietly.
‘Oh, Rose, Cathy didn’t mean anything,’ Janey was quick to say, and just as quick to get up and give Rose a fierce hug. ‘We’re all on edge because we’re so worried.’
Cathy, who was now looking self-conscious and guilty, confirmed, ‘Janey’s right. I’m sorry, Rose, I didn’t mean it the way it sounded.’
‘No? Then what did you mean? Perhaps that since my father was disinherited by our mutual great-grandmother I should not, like everyone else, have had a trust fund? Or maybe perhaps that since I am what I so obviously am, that I should, as that same great-grandmother was so fond of saying, been sent back to the slums of Hong Kong and left to die there?’
Rose could see that she had shocked them all. That hadn’t been her intention but the conversation she had overheard had somehow not just touched a nerve but pressed a spring that had released a jack-in-the-box of destructive self-defence.
‘Now it’s my turn to apologise.’ She gave a tired shrug and pushed her hand through her hair.
‘Behaving as though we’re still in the nursery isn’t going to help anyone,’ Emerald told them all. ‘Now that Rose is here I think we should talk about what will need to be done, whilst we have the chance. We’ve got a lot of things to sort out whilst we’re here together,’ Emerald reminded her siblings.
Janey paled and looked close to tears whilst Robbie tried to look grown up as he stood by her side.
‘I don’t think that this is an appropriate time to be talking about this kind of thing. Don’t you think we should wait and see what the consultant has to say before we start making any plans?’ Cathy challenged Emerald sharply. ‘After all, the parents may have made their own arrangements for if anything should happen.’
‘On the contrary,’ Emerald told Cathy sturdily, ‘I can’t think of a more appropriate time. The discussion I want to have applies whatever the future might hold, and in my opinion is best discussed now whilst we have the time to do so. We need to talk about the business. We all know how much the business means to Mummy.’
When no one made any comment Emerald continued, ‘You may all have been too busy with your own lives to notice what’s been going on with the London end of things, and of course it’s only natural that I should have seen more and been more aware of it because I live there.’
‘What do you mean?’ Polly demanded. ‘The factory is doing very well. I know that Angelli puts a lot of business its way.’
‘The factory may be doing well but I am talking about the Walton Street shop,’ Emerald clarified. ‘Mummy hasn’t been coming down to London as often as she once did, and I rather expect that she won’t want to come down at all in future, no matter what happens.’
‘Well, the shop can be closed down, can’t it?’ Janey asked, after a long pause whilst they all digested what Emerald was saying.
‘It can, yes,’ Emerald agreed.
They didn’t share the kind of closeness with one another that would have enabled her to explain how she had felt when she had seen her mother’s face when she had looked at Emerald’s Designers Guild bedroom, even if she hadn’t been the kind of person who loathed talking about her own feelings. To see such sadness and loss in her mother’s expression had reminded Emerald of how important to her mother the interior design business was. At the time that hadn’t really mattered, but now somehow it did.
‘The property could be sold quite easily, I imagine,’ Janey continued.
‘Very easily,’ Emerald agreed, ‘but I don’t think that’s what we should do.’
‘What do you mean?’ That was Cathy, the rebel who had always taken delight in doing the opposite of what was expected of her.
‘We all know how much silk means to Mummy, both via Denby Mill and the Walton Street shop, how passionately she has always felt about her own father’s designs and the heritage that goes with all of that. More than anything else she wanted that heritage to be preserved and woven into a future.’
‘Well, yes, we all know that, Emerald. That was why she sent me and Polly to Italy to train at Angelli’s.’
‘That was part of the reason,’ Emerald agreed. ‘The other part was surely that she hoped you would give back to Denby Mill and the Walton Street business something of what she had given you.’
There was a small tense silence, and then Polly objected, ‘Oh, that’s good coming from you, Emerald, trying to make us feel guilty about the shop, and make sacrifices because we trained at Angelli’s, whilst you get off scot-free because all you ever did was be a deb and marry Drogo.’
‘It wasn’t my intention to make you feel guilty. I simply wanted us to discuss what we felt we could all do to help get the business back on its feet. And as for making sacrifices, well, there’s only one of us who would have to do that.’
They all looked at her.
‘Who?’ Janey asked.
‘Rose,’ Emerald announced. ‘It was Rose who Mummy always wanted to take over from her.’
‘That was a long time ago, Emerald. I have Pete to think of now, and it’s years since I worked professionally as an interior designer,’ Rose protested.
‘We all know how much the Walton Street shop and its business has meant to Mummy,’ Emerald continued, ignoring Rose’s outburst. ‘After all, she wanted all of you to be involved in its future, and she planned for that.’
A shared uncomfortable and guilty silence met Emerald’s unexpected comments.
‘It’s my belief that, more than anything else, whatever happens to Jay, what will give Mummy more comfort and hope than anything else will be the survival and renewed success of the Walton Street business. At the moment it’s dying on its feet and it needs new life breathed into it.’
Emerald paused, but none of them had missed the significance of her choice of language.
‘Its designs are old-fashioned, and so is the shop. The whole business needs revamping, and that is something we could all contribute to. It needs new designers for the fabrics. You two, Polly and Cathy, could take on the fabric design side of things.’
‘No.’
‘Impossible.’
The twins spoke together.
‘I live in Italy now, Emerald, and even if I could make the time, it’s been years since I last did any designing,’ Polly told her.
‘I’m an artist, Emerald,’ Cathy protested crossly.
‘I’m not suggesting that either of you design the fabrics yourself–as you’ve both said, neither of you is really qualified to do so any more–but you, Polly, are married to a man who provides what is regarded as the best training for young untested designers there is, and you, Cathy, have the skill to recognise the potential in the young graduates coming out of St Martins and the like. There is nothing to stop you selecting the best of the new designers straight from college, and nothing to stop you and Rocco, Polly, offering them a chance to spent six months with Angelli’s, really learning their trade, with a view to them then giving at least a year each to the Walton Street shop designing new fabrics.’
Polly felt curiously light-headed. How extraordinary that it should be Emerald, of all people, who should have come up with such an innovative and exciting idea. What Emerald had suggested had so many possibilities, so many potential challenges, so much about it that was unexpectedly close to her heart.
‘And before you say that you can’t check out St Martins students from St Ives, Cathy, what is there to stop you and Sim spending some of your time in London, and opening a gallery there as well?’
‘I don’t want a London gallery.’
‘Maybe you don’t, but what about Sim?’
Emerald had touched on a nerve. Sim was a wonderfully creative sculptor; he deserved and needed a wider audience for his work, Cathy knew that.
‘You could send both the girls to St Paul’s–I’m sure they’re clever enough–and you could even display some of your work in the Walton Street shop until we find the right place for a gallery, and as a family you could stay in the Chelsea house when you are in London.’
She had been outmartialled and outmanoeuvred by an expert, Cathy recognised. But she wasn’t going to give in just like that; that wasn’t her way.
‘You’re doing a lot of talking about what we should be doing, Emerald, but what exactly are you planning to do personally to help the business, apart from telling us what to do, of course?’
‘I shall be using my address book to drum up new clients for the Walton Street business. As a starting point I shall offer two or three of London’s top charity organisers an auction prize for their next charity ball of a room makeover by Walton Street.’
Cathy gave a protesting gasp. ‘But that will cost thousands.’
‘And as an investment will bring in a hundred times more than it costs,’ Emerald blocked her protest crisply.
‘Emerald’s right,’ Janey felt obliged to agree–and not because of the money Emerald had promised her. Janey could remember the demand she herself had created for her clothes all those years ago when favoured friends had worn them. She gave a small sad sigh. ‘It all sounds wonderfully exciting. I feel quite envious,’ she admitted.
‘You will have your role to play as well, Janey,’ Emerald assured her. ‘I’m hoping that Rose will agree to take on the role of interior designer, but she’ll need help, and I think the two of you could work really well together.’
‘I can’t leave Pete,’ Rose reiterated.
Emerald looked away from her and down at the floor, and Rose knew what she was thinking: that one day Pete was going to die and leave her.
‘But how do you know that Mummy will want us to do any of this?’ Polly asked. ‘We could be taking something from her that she doesn’t want to give up.’
This time it was Drogo who spoke up. ‘For what it’s worth, my guess is that Jay will pull through this but Amber won’t want to leave him to travel up and down to London, Emerald is right about that. I believe, like Emerald, that Amber will be grateful to you all for taking over for her.’
‘So it’s down to you, Rose,’ Emerald said challengingly. ‘Will you do it?’
Rose wanted to refuse, she wanted to remind them of what Cathy had been saying about her only a short time ago, but most of all she wanted to let the bitterness and all the hurt of rejection and abandonment she had bottled up over the years spill out in front of them as she told them exactly why she was refusing.
Only somehow she couldn’t. Somehow, instead, she was nodding her head, giving in, as she had always given in, being weak as she had always been weak, and despising herself for it.
Amber felt the now familiar rush of air that meant that someone was approaching Jay’s bed, but she didn’t lift her gaze from her husband’s face to see who it was. Every second was too precious for a single one of them to be wasted.
It took the sister’s determined, ‘Mr Stanhope wishes to speak to you,’ to drag Amber’s attention away from Jay to look at the consultant.
‘I won’t leave Jay,’ she told him immediately.
A square-looking man in his fifties with a bald head and a steady gaze, dressed in a crisp white shirt, a bow tie and a pin-striped suit, he smiled at her.
‘Your family are in the waiting room. I’ve promised to talk to them.’
‘Have you got the results of the tests yet?’ Amber asked him, ignoring his hint that it would be easier if he talked to them all at the same time.
‘Yes.’
‘And?’ Amber pressed, adding determinedly, ‘You’ll have to tell me here because I won’t leave Jay.’
The consultant looked at the sister, who pulled up a spare chair for him so that he could sit down.
Chapter Sixty-Two
‘Drogo, do go and see if you can find out what’s happening,’ Emerald urged her husband. ‘The consultant was supposed to be here ages ago.’
‘Do you think that Daddy knew about his heart?’ Janey couldn’t stop herself from asking after Drogo had gone.
It was a question none of them could answer, but their growing tension was reflected in the way they all reacted when the waiting-room door opened several minutes later, heralding Drogo’s return.
‘The consultant’s with Amber, and he’ll be coming to speak to us in a few minutes.’
‘He’s with Mother?’
‘Is that a good idea?’
‘What if it’s bad news?’
‘She shouldn’t be seeing him on her own.’
Before Drogo could answer them the door opened again and this time it was the consultant.
The introductions had been made and tea had been brought, Emerald once again forced to hold back her nausea the minute she smelled the strong brew, and now they were all sitting waiting to hear what the consultant had to say.
Janey was sitting on the edge of her chair with her hands underneath her so that she could resist her old childhood habit of nibbling at her nails, whilst Rose was sitting next to her, so white-faced with tension that she looked as though she was wearing rice powder. Polly and Cathy had drawn their chairs closer together, whilst Robbie was sitting between Emerald and Drogo, Emerald holding his hand and Drogo placing a supporting arm around the back of his chair.
‘As you all know, Jay has had a heart attack.’
‘But how serious is it?’
‘Will he have another?’
‘He is going to get better, isn’t he?’
‘How is Mummy?’
The consultant nodded in acknowledgement of all their questions.
‘To answer your last question first, Amber is being incredibly brave and strong, and she is insisting on remaining here at the hospital with Jay. I have told her that I will only allow that if she agrees to take some rest herself. A private room will be put at her disposal for that purpose. It is the least we can do since your parents have been so generous in their fund-raising for the hospital.’
‘And Jay himself?’ Drogo asked.
The consultant frowned. ‘The tests show that the attack was severe. However, we can be reasonably optimistic that as there hasn’t been a second attack, his condition has now stabilised.’
‘Does that mean that he’s going to live?’ Janey asked shakily.
‘Hopefully, but from now on, as I have already told Amber, he will have to be careful not to do anything that might provoke a second attack.’
‘But surely there are operations,’ Cathy began. ‘I’ve read about people having whole heart transplants.’
‘Yes, that’s true, but that kind of operation is not appropriate in your father’s case. There are new treatments for his condition being undertaken in South Africa and America, but it is too soon as yet in my opinion to know how successful these are in the long term. However, with care and if he lives relatively quietly from now on, with modern drugs there is no reason to suppose that he will not live out his normal life span.’
The consultant could see their relief and, indeed, almost feel it in the air of buoyancy and delight that was filling the room.
‘There is still some way to go before we can pronounce him fully out of danger,’ he warned them, ‘but I have every confidence in your mother’s ability to ensure that everything that needs to be done to aid his recovery and his future health will be done.’
The consultant had gone, there had been tears and smiles, shared hugs and emotional laughter between the three who were Jay’s daughters, whilst Rose and Emerald stood slightly to one side.
Janey had offered all those who wanted one a bed at Fitton, but Emerald had said that they should go back to Denham instead because there would be things to do there to prepare for her mother and Jay’s eventual return.
The others, including Rose, had agreed that they would take on the responsibility for the Walton Street shop, and now Emerald acknowledged she felt very tired and was longing for a hot bath.
There was something, though, that she still had to do. Something important. A debt that had to be repaid and that belonged to the memory of a busy A&E department and the way she had felt when Rose had been there for her.
‘The consultant told Drogo that Mummy asked if Rose was here.’
Rose could feel the colour burning up under her skin.
‘I think that one of us should stay and that it should be you, Rose. You always were her favourite.’
‘No. I wasn’t, I—’
‘Yes you were. She as good as admitted it to me years ago, when she told me that she felt that the two of you shared a special bond.’
There was nothing Rose could say or do now, other than simply give in.
‘Do we know yet whether or not Ella is coming?’ Janey asked.
Drogo shook his head.
Looking at her siblings, Emerald recognised that she no longer felt like an outsider amongst them. Without it being planned or worked for, finally she had what as a child she had longed for so fiercely and rejected even more fiercely–acceptance.
In the intensive care unit Amber smiled shakily through her tears of relief and gratitude.
‘Thank you for not leaving me,’ she whispered to Jay, and she was sure that the small twitch of his lips meant that he had heard her and that he was smiling at her.
Now with the crisis over she was able to think about its effect on their shared family. Sister had told her about their arrival and their anxiety. Was Rose here? Her heart jumped with pain. She had never stopped wondering what it was that had caused Rose to become so distant towards her, and never stopped grieving for the bond that had been lost, either.
She could still see Rose now as the tiny sick baby she had been when she had first seen her and had felt those unmistakable pangs of maternal protective love for her. That love had grown with Rose–the niece who, in her heart, Amber had always thought of as a daughter.
