A catmas to remember, p.1
A Catmas to Remember, page 1
A Catmas to Remember
PEPPER MCGRAW
Contents
Description
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Thank you for reading
Excerpt
Other Books by Pepper
Anthologies & Collections
About the Author
A Catmas to Remember Copyright © 2022
Digital Edition
All rights reserved.
No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the publisher.
PUBLISHING HISTORY:
Shifter Christmas Howlidays | Naughty Nights Press | December 2022
Cover Images and Inside Images from Dreamstime:
Christmas Background © Anna Velichkovsky
Gray Cat Wrapped in Christmas Lights © Zsuskaa
Woman’s Legs in Christmas Stockings © Kakigori
Cat and Christmas Tree © Afanasia
Paw Prints and Heart © Zsuskaa
Pawprints © Fourleaflover
Cat Tangled in Christmas Lights © Sofiia Kravchenko
Ornamental © Megapixelina
Edited by J.L. Troughton
PMG Publishing
Description
A matchmaking cat may be their only hope
for a happily ever after.
Jennifer is determined to make friends with her cranky, polar bear neighbor, especially since she’s pretty certain he’s her mate. Unfortunately, the bear doesn’t seem to agree. Worse, he appears to be a tiny bit anti-Christmas. Well, that’s no problem for Jennifer. She’s an expert at dragging reluctant Scrooges into the true spirit of the holidays.
Bryce thinks his neighbor is crazy. She’s tried to poison him repeatedly and now she keeps dragging Christmas decorations onto his property, insisting that it’s time for him to get into the holiday spirit. Well, he doesn’t need any holiday spirit, thank you very much. He’s perfectly happy being the bah humbug polar bear that he is.
The cats of the goddesses specialize in pawsitively purrfect matches, but Shredder is a challenging case. Rejected seventeen times, he needs a home in time for Christmas and these two shifters are his last, best hope.
It’s a pawsitively crazy Catmas none of them will ever forget.
One
BYGUL WAS NOT happy about his latest assignment.
He might be the best matchmaker on the Pawsitively Purrfect team, specializing in matching humans with both their purrfect cat companion and their purrfect mate, but that didn’t mean he could work miracles.
And this latest case would definitely require a miracle.
Most of the time, Bygul focused on homeless cats and kittens and didn’t bother with those already scooped up by human rescue organizations.
After all, the humans did an excellent job of fostering and adopting out the cats they conscripted into their rescues, which allowed Bygul and the other cats of the goddesses to focus on matching cats who hadn’t come to the attention of human rescuers.
Of course, there was the occasional exception, but that usually involved circumstance rather than intention. Like when Bygul’s trainees matched a bear with an arctic fox who ran a cat rescue center. Of course, it made sense at the time to match the bear with cats the fox was trying to find homes for, but again, this was due to the circumstances, which were unique.
Once those matches were complete, Bygul expected all of them to move on. There was no reason to continue working to place the cats in the rescue center. That task belonged to the humans.
The goddesses, however, seemed to have a different plan in mind.
“This particular cat is quite the troublemaker,” Freyja informed him.
“He’s been returned seventeen times,” Bastet said.
“And by humans who adore cats, no less,” Ceridwen agreed.
“Seventeen—how is that even possible?” Bygul demanded. He couldn’t imagine that the director of the center, Isana Meier, had screwed up that many matches. After all, the woman was outrageously protective of her rescues.
“The cat’s an asshole,” Freyja said.
“Entirely,” Ceridwen and Bastet agreed.
“But that’s simply the nature of cats,” Bygul protested.
Freyja raised an eyebrow. “Yes, but this cat takes it to unprecedented levels.”
“He’s smart,” Bastet said.
“And devious,” Ceridwen said.
“And he knows exactly how to make life miserable for his humans,” Freyja said. “He’s in a league of his own.”
Now Bygul was intrigued.
Not that he would admit it, of course. “He can’t possibly be that bad. Any true cat lover would put up with all manner of assholery from a cat.”
“Not this one,” the goddesses chorused.
Interesting.
Bygul did enjoy a challenge, but there were limits. “And how exactly am I supposed to get this cat away from the rescue?” Normally he just took the cats, but those were cats living on the streets, fending for themselves, with no humans to worry about them when they disappeared.
“You’re just going to have to work with the humans to find the perfect placement for this cat,” Freyja said.
“Have you met Isana Meier? Talk about uptight! She’s the asshole in this scenario. She’ll never let that cat be adopted by just anyone.”
“Of course not,” Ceridwen said.
“And why should she?” Bastet asked. “Every cat deserves the purrfect human.”
“Exactly,” Freyja said. “So your job is to find that human and somehow get them into the rescue to meet the cat.”
“It’s not enough that they meet the cat. Isana Meier has to approve their application and believe you, me, that’s never an easy—”
“Bears!” Soraya exclaimed.
Bygul jumped a little. He’d completely forgotten the recent graduates he’d trained were in the room.
Great.
Now they’d want to assist in this match.
“Oooh, yes, bears,” Tivali said.
“What are you two going on about?” Bygul glared at them.
“Who better to adopt an asshole cat than shifters who are assholes all the time?” Tivali asked.
“I vote for the polars,” Soraya said.
“That’s a crazy idea,” Muezza said.
Bygul completely agreed.
“It’s not crazy!” Soraya exclaimed. “It’s purrfect!”
“Those polars are always fighting,” Bygul said. “Besides, don’t you remember how adamant Isana Meier was about bears not being an appropriate cat companion?”
“Yes, but that was before she mated one,” Tivali said.
“Besides the polars are family,” Soraya said. “She’d never deny family.”
These cats were delusional.
Isana Meier would deny the goddesses themselves if she deemed them unworthy.
“Well, we’ll leave the four of you to figure out the details,” Freyja said. “Bygul, you’re in charge. If you can’t find a match for this cat, I fear for his future.”
Great. Way to pile on the pressure. “What’s the cat’s name anyway?”
“Shredder,” the goddesses chorused.
Wonderful.
“No,” Mason said.
“He needs a home.”
“That may be so, but his home’s not going to be anywhere near my precious babies.”
Isana rolled her eyes. “They’re not even kittens anymore. They’re fully grown and thus, are capable of defending themselves.”
“Against Shredder the Destroyer?” Mason demanded.
“Stop calling him that!”
“Look, you know I love cats, but that is not a cat.”
“Really, Mason?” Isana glared at her mate. Some days, she doubted her own sanity. She’d had one rule and one rule only her entire life: no dating bears.
And now look at her!
Mated to one.
For life.
A stubborn, clumsy, rampaging, irrational bear.
“If he’s not a cat, then pray tell, what is he?” she demanded.
“Best guess? A demon from hell.”
Isana groaned. “Can’t we just discuss this? I’ve exhausted every cat lover I know in three counties. Everyone’s heard about Shredder. No one’s willing to take him in.”
Mason just stared at her.
“What? What’s that look supposed to mean?”
He didn’t answer.
“What?”
He just kept staring.
She hated it when he did that. “Just say it already!”
“I’ve already said it a thousand times.”
“Oh, no. Forget it. I already told you, no. We’re not foisting Shredder off on the shifters.”
“I don’t see why not. You’ve adopted out to shifters before.”
“Those were exceptions, not the rules. You know I prefer adopting out to humans, Mason.”
“Which makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.”
“It makes perfect sense.”
“Not to anyone who isn’t you.”
Isana let out a tiny growl of frustration. “Fine. Who would you suggest then?”
Mason’s eye s lit up. “Really?”
“Yes, really. What shifter is going to put up with Shredder’s antics and not eat him when he riles them up? Because you know he will.”
Mason grinned. “One whose terror of his sister is so great, not even Shredder could cause him to risk her wrath.”
“Huh?”
“It’s already working!” Soraya exclaimed.
“Please. Like you didn’t plant the idea of the polars in his head,” Bygul said.
“Well, of course we did,” Tivali said. “Wasn’t that the plan?”
“No!” Bygul snarled. “The plan was for me to find the right human—the purrfect human—and then send them to the rescue to meet the cat. The plan was not to send the cat to a psychotic polar and I cannot believe Isana Meier agreed to it.”
“Desperation leads even the strongest among us to take drastic measures,” Tivali said coolly.
“Look!” Soraya exclaimed. “They’re about to meet for the first time!”
Bryce had worked a double at the restaurant the day before and was sound asleep when the pounding on his front door began.
He let out a roar of rage that rattled the windows and shook the floor, but didn’t bother to get out of bed.
His roar was usually enough to send even the most determined packing.
Unless they were family.
Or insane.
Or both.
The pounding began again, which told him it was probably family.
Either that or the nutcase next door.
Either way, he was ignoring them both.
He pulled a pillow over his head and tried to ignore the relentless pounding.
It finally stopped.
He smirked a little as he sank back into sleep.
Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam bam bam!
Bryce jumped so hard, he almost fell out of bed, then leapt to his feet with a roar.
Family!
It had to be family.
The woman next door might be crazy enough to risk his wrath, but he doubted she had the strength to make the windows rattle the way they did with that last knock.
It was probably Isana.
Only his sister would have the audacity to continue knocking despite it becoming clear he had no intention of answering the door.
“Bryce, we know you’re in there!”
Yep. That was his sister all right.
There was a reason he’d taken away her damn key.
Apparently, that wasn’t enough though.
He should have moved.
Out of the country.
Bryce stamped across the room and flung open the window. “What the hell is wrong with you?” He couldn’t see his sister because the roof of the porch obstructed his view, but he knew she was there.
The roof shook a little as Isana stamped down the stairs, turned and glared up at him. “Get your ass down here, Bryce Meier. Right now.”
“I worked a double yesterday. Now go away.” He pulled his head back inside the house, slammed the window and turned away, fully intending to climb back into bed and continue ignoring his sister.
Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam!
Hands on hips, Bryce glared at his bed.
Surely she’d give up.
Any minute now.
Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam!
Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam!
Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam!
Damn her.
A more bearish arctic fox he’d never known.
Grabbing a pair of sweats, he dragged them on, then stormed out of his bedroom, down the stairs to the front door.
He flung it open and glared at his sister and—great—her grizzly mate.
“It’s about time.” Isana shoved her way past him and as she moved by, he caught a strange scent of something foreign.
He whirled to follow and found himself shoved aside as Mason Worcester pushed by him with his arms full of bags.
Damn grizzly!
Scowling, Bryce turned to slam the door shut, but Mason shoulder checked him aside and stepped back out onto the front porch.
Bryce let out a low growl, went to slam the door shut again, only to have it flung back toward him by a massive grizzly paw in human form.
Bryce barely stopped the door from connecting with his face as Mason shoved by for the third time, this time carrying a strange box by the handle. “Now see here,” Bryce snarled, turning to follow the grizzly down the hall. “What the hell is—“
He stumbled to a halt when he reached the door to his guest bedroom and finally realized what he’d been smelling. “Oh, hell, no!”
“This is going to be awesome!” Soraya crowed.
“Are you insane?” Bygul demanded.
“Why do you even bother asking that?” Muezza asked. “You know she is.”
Unfortunately, he was right. Muezza was also the cat of a prophet (though he was currently making love matches for the goddess, Ceridwen), so he probably had greater insight than most.
“Why didn’t you foresee this and warn me?” Bygul glared at the prophet’s cat.
Muezza just stuck a leg in the air and started washing himself.
After a few moments of pointed silence, he finally lifted his head to say, “I thought it was pretty obvious the minute they mentioned the word bears.”
Bygul growled low in his throat, uncertain whether he was more irritated with Muezza, the bear-loving idiot cats, or himself.
After all, Muezza was right. He should have known the minute Soraya mentioned bears that he’d already lost control of this particular match.
Except—hadn’t Freyja said he was in charge?
He was pretty certain she had.
And yet, look at the result!
Not in charge of a darn thing.
“This match is doomed,” he predicted.
“Don’t be ridiculous,” Tivali said. “Everything’s going according to plan.”
“Are you serious right now?” Bygul snarled. “How can that possibly be anything close to your plan?”
The four of them peeked back into the polar bear’s home, just in time to see Shredder launch himself at the bear with a furious yowl.
Soraya winced. “Well. There are always growing pains. Right?”
“Get it off me!” Bryce shrieked, waving an arm at the demon from hell currently hanging from his shoulders where its claws were fully embedded.
“Don’t hurt him!” Isana shouted.
“Hurt him!” Bryce howled. “Are you crazy?”
A giant thud shook the floor and walls as Mason collapsed, roaring with laughter. His guffaws shook the windows.
Bryce clenched his fists and took a step toward Mason, fully intending to maul the grizzly into a pulp, but the cat on his back chose that moment to sink his teeth into Bryce’s neck.
Bryce let out a roar of pain—those teeth hurt!—and whirled toward Isana. “Get him off me now,” he said to his sister through clenched teeth, “before I forget that I love you.”
And that he feared her wrath should he “accidentally” harm the demon on his back.
Long moments later, after Isana had crooned soothing words to the cat and coaxed him to let loose of Bryce’s neck and shoulders, Bryce was finally free and the cat was cuddled in Isana’s arms.
From there, the demon glared at Bryce with what he swore was true malevolence.
“What kind of cat is that?” Bryce glared back at him.
“He’s really a sweetheart,” Isana said. “He’s just scared.”
“Uh-huh.” Bryce continued his stare down with the cat. No way was he going to blink first. “Why is he here?”
“He needs a home.”
“And?”
“I decided you were the perfect candidate.”
“For what?”
“For adopting a cat.”
“Are you insane? Just because your mate is some kind of grizzly weirdo, who frolics in fields with cats and kittens, doesn’t mean I’m going to follow in his footsteps.” Bryce narrowed his eyes and intensified his stare.
