Diamond kisses, p.31
Diamond Kisses, page 31
I’d slapped my hand on the key to stop it spinning, a mix of suspicion and frustration in my blood.
Q had merely stood, taken his wife’s hand, and pointed through the patio doors. “Go north. You’ll find the gatehouse. It’s yours if you want it.”
And then they’d left.
And now, we were here.
“Oh wow,” Ily whispered, stepping through the quaint foyer with flagstones leading to the living room to the left. Rough beams cut the whitewashed ceiling. Sprigs of dried flowers hung in bunches by the window. A fire crackled in a huge open fireplace. The cream couch looked stuffed with fucking clouds and the coffee table was an old wagon wheel with a glass top. The entire thing reeked of country wealth. Old wealth. Obscene wealth. But cosy and imperfect at the same time.
I followed Ily into the kitchen. Grey glossy cabinetry with a huge farmhouse sink. A huge chunk of wood for the bench with a low-ceilinged dining room in a nook surrounded by windows. The floorplan led us to the next room. Another sitting area with comfy couches and shelves full of books. Another room spilled out to the left, where two desks sat on either side of each other as if a husband and wife ran their own company from these very walls. Ily’s red scarf flicked around the corner as she headed into a den complete with a TV projector, bean bags, and soft side lights.
I didn’t say a word as she climbed the narrow ancient staircase to the second level. Up here, the ceilings were even lower but somehow seemed to cradle with comfort instead of squash with claustrophobia. A massive bathroom with a clawfoot bath and modern steam shower glittered with silver and bronze tiles. Three bedrooms with matching cosy beds and thick velvet curtains dripping on the floor.
She let out a soft cry as she stepped into a giant master bedroom with bifolds leading to a quaint roof deck full of potted plants. The view gave a sprawling vista of willow trees, meadows, and Q’s château twinkling in the distance.
The ensuite housed a sauna along with a bath big enough for two. A spa waited on the roof deck. And the California-king-sized bed positively drowned in lacy white pillows.
“It feels so comfortable, yet…I know it’s worth a fortune,” Ily murmured, hugging herself in the centre of the bedroom. “Standing in a simple smaller home has just shown me just how on edge I’ve been feeling in your brother’s mansion.” She ducked her head. “Don’t get me wrong. I’m ever so grateful he gave us a room, and his home is beautiful, but…”
“It reminded you too much of Victor’s?”
She nodded. “So much wealth. So much decadence. I…I don’t need it. I don’t really want it. I just want to be…us.”
Going to her, I cupped her cheeks. “Us is good.”
She sighed as I kissed her softly.
Pulling away, I said, “I’m the same. I’ve been itching to leave and find a small place where it’s just the two of us. I’m dying to fade into obscurity. To be normal and...happy.”
“Do you think you could be happy here?” she asked, kissing me before dropping from her tiptoes.
“Don’t you want to go back to England? Be close to your brother and parents?”
Her eyes churned with emotion but slowly she shook her head. “Krish doesn’t need me anymore, and…my place is with you.”
“We could always try living here. See how it goes? We can always move back to England if it doesn’t feel right?” I raked a hand through my hair. “But we’d have to pay rent. And I need to get a job. I’m not taking any more of his damn money.”
“I agree.” She nodded. “I want to work too.” She shuddered with a soft laugh. “Gemstones have always been my passion, but…I don’t think I could look at another one. I dunno. Maybe I’ll go back to school and study something else, rather than be a gemmologist.”
I shuddered at the very mention of gems.
Rubies and emeralds, sapphires and diamonds.
Speaking of diamonds.
My heart kicked as Ily unravelled her scarf and tossed it on the bed.
“Want to christen this place?” She spun to face me with a smile. “Make it our own?”
A long strand of red wool tumbled from the scarf.
It coiled on the cream carpet.
Memories of us huddled under our blankets on that awful island filled my mind. Snatched moments safe from the cameras, terrifying seconds full of whispers when there was no safe place to talk.
“You know what? I’ve changed my mind. I don’t want a diamond. This place has cured me of my love of gems. A simple string knotted into a circle would be enough.”
My heart thundered.
I ducked to snatch the wool off the carpet.
With my blood racing and every droplet of love mingling with nervous hope, I dropped to one knee and held up the woollen strand. “It’s not a string, but…what I said to you that night beneath our blankets is still true.”
Ily froze, her hands flying to her mouth.
“The moment I met you, I put an invisible ring on your finger. It’s there, Ily. It’s always been there.” I licked my lips, gathering courage to put my entire soul on the line. “You freed me that day. We might’ve spent six months in captivity, but…you freed my heart and taught me how to love instead of hate. You taught me that I wasn’t something to be feared or loathed. You gave me something I never thought I’d earn.”
Holding out my hand, I whispered, “Come here, little nightmare.”
Ever so slowly, she padded toward me. Tears sparkled like crystals on her cheeks. The monster inside me sprang awake to drink.
I tried to lock that part of myself away.
I tried to stay human as she placed her hand in mine.
I trembled with so many things. Light and dark. Love and lust as I looped the strand around her wedding finger and tied a bow. “A part of me doesn’t want to ask you this question because I don’t want to give you the chance to say no. But…I will never do anything without your permission again, and so. Ilyana Sharma…” I cleared my throat as pressure built around my ribcage. “You’ve seen me at my worst. You’ve seen what I’m capable of and what sort of life I can offer you. You know I’m not perfect, and you know I would slaughter the world for you. I can’t promise I will never piss you off, and I can’t say that I’ll be the best husband, but what I will be is the best that I’m capable of.” Lowering my voice, I whispered, “I might be a monster, but you hold my leash, Ily. I wear your collar. Just yours. I will kneel at your feet all while fighting your—”
“Yes,” she breathed around her tears.
I chuckled. “I haven’t asked you yet.”
“Doesn’t matter. My answer is—”
“Give me a sec, woman. Jesus.” I pressed a kiss on the crimson bow tied tightly around her finger. There was so much I wanted to say. So much I needed her to know but…she knew. She knew because we shared the same soul. The same heart and lifetime and destiny.
“Marry me,” I whispered against the string. “Marry me and spend your life with me.”
Snatching her hand from mine, she threw herself at me. Decorating my face with kisses, she giggled.
A sound so young and innocent.
A sound I would spend every day of my mortal existence earning again and again.
“Yes, yes, yes!”
Yanking her off her feet, I pressed her carefully onto her back. The carpet cushioned her as I lay on top of her.
Sliding my fingers through her hair, I held her prone.
Our eyes searched each other’s.
She looked at my mouth and arched her hips.
I rocked against her, revealing how hard I was. How much the darkness inside me snarled and nipped, utterly mad with possessiveness. “You know this means you’re mine now. In every caveman barbarian way.”
She grinned. “If you’re trying to scare me off, it’s not working.” Moaning, she bit her bottom lip. “I keep telling you. I want to be consumed by you. I want—”
“Me to hurt you.”
She stilled, lust shattering over her gorgeous face. “Only when I ask and only ever in private.”
I sighed and nuzzled my nose with hers. “Ily…”
“Listen to me, Hen.” Her voice turned harsh with seriousness. “I love you—”
“I love you too. That’s why—”
“Hush. Let me finish.” She narrowed her eyes. “I love you. Unconditionally. That means I love all of you. All the scars you try to hide. All the needs you pretend you no longer feel. I love you, Henri. Every tiny piece. Every perfect and imperfect piece. And I need you to trust me when I say I see you. I know you. You don’t have to hide. No part of you will ever turn me off. I trust you to protect me and punish me, and I wouldn’t be honest if I agreed to be yours, all while you’re preventing yourself from being the very man I fell madly in love with.”
“That man has so many faults.”
“That man was alone and lost, but now he’s not.” She ran her thumb over my cheekbone. “You don’t have to be afraid anymore. You can’t hurt me—not in the way you fear, because you love me.”
“I love you more than anything in this world.”
“I know. And that’s why I want you to be free. Be with me, Henri. Love me in your own way. I want it. I need it. Just as much as you.”
I shivered as her promises soaked into the carpet around us.
For a while, I couldn’t say anything.
She gave me time.
She watched me cycle through fear and indecision and hope and shame and need.
Collapsing over her, I kissed my way down her neck, licking gently at the scar left from Victor’s knife. “Thank you. For loving me that much.”
She smiled. “Always. Forever. No matter what.”
“Are you sure?”
A soft giggle fell from her lips. “I was sure the moment I saw you in the club. I knew the moment we whispered in the library, and I thought you were a cop. And I knew it the second you made me touch the stars when you pleasured me and—”
“Hurt you.”
She nodded gently.
I sighed heavily as the black knot in my heart slowly unfurled. Soul-shaking hope bled through me. “Say that I agree to your terms.”
Her eyes instantly lit up. “Go on…”
“Say I punish you and use you—”
“Oh God.” She shivered dramatically. “Yes please.”
I chuckled under my breath. “Now who’s interrupting?”
“Sorry. Please…” She smirked. “Continue.”
“Say I rule you right here, where no one can see you writhe for me, and I trust that you’ll stop me if I ever go too far.”
She blinked as I looked down at her.
“Say I do all that.” I dragged out the moment. “Will you…squirt for me?” I snickered. “Like you did in Sapphire Scars?”
Her eyebrows shot up. “Why you—” A blush tinged her cheeks. “I take it back. Get off me.”
I laughed again and pinned her wrists above her head. “Too late, little nightmare.”
She squirmed beneath me as I rolled my hips between her legs. A tattered moan escaped her. “God, you’re so annoying.”
“I’m also horny.”
She groaned indecently. “Then do something about it.”
“Oh, I plan to. But first, I need to iron out the fine print.”
“What fine print?”
“The soul-binding contract that says you know exactly what I am and what I need and that you need it too.” I tore my heart wide open, letting her see every flawed piece of me. “I can’t erase what I did on that island, and I can’t deny how it made me feel. I’m…” I swallowed hard. “We both worried we’d grown addicted to those games and…I’m a little afraid we have. But the difference is.” I kissed her softly. “Those games were full of despair while ours…they’ll drip with desire. I want us to be free. Together. I want us to play. For the rest of our lives. That’s the fine print. That’s the truth. I want you so fucking badly, Ily, in every humanly and inhumanly way possible.”
Her blush deepened. “You already know I’d like to be free together. And…you also know what happens when you play with me in that way. I’ve never felt the levels of pleasure I do when we give in to the burn between us.”
“Alright then.”
She smiled. “I’m glad we’re on the same page—”
“We are but I still need you to say it.” I laughed, having way too much fun teasing her.
“Say what?”
“I need you to say that if I agree to be the Master you want. If I agree to mark you, fuck you, and adore you for the rest of our days, then you’ll…”
She ducked her chin again. “Henri.”
I chuckled. “Go on, don’t be shy.”
“Ugh, you’re the worst.” She pursed her lips. “I can’t. It’s too embarrassing.”
“But I bet it feels really good.” I nipped her bottom lip. “And it makes me feel so damn powerful knowing I can get you off in that way.”
“So this is an ego trip, then?” Her eyes twinkled, teasing me back.
“It’s me needing validation that you actually want this. That I’m not going to push you into old memories. That we aren’t wrong for wanting to play like this. That Victor’s games didn’t ruin us. That we’re okay.”
I hadn’t meant to say such things. I hadn’t even been aware I felt them, but the truth scattered around us, and she sighed softly. “We aren’t wrong for liking pleasure with a dash of pain. And we’re completely normal for playing whatever games we consensually want to play.” Kissing me softly, she whispered, “We’re okay, Henri. More than okay. And yes, I want you to push me into those extremes. I want to share mind-shattering pleasure without an audience or threats. I love you with all my heart. I trust you with all my heart and if you need me to say how hard you make me come when you’re truly yourself then fine…”
I trembled, my heart glowing. “Fine what?”
She sighed dramatically but it twisted into another wonderful giggle. “Fine, I’ll…squirt for you.” She dropped her eyes, adorably embarrassed.
My heart fisted.
I fell even harder.
“There’s my good girl.” I dropped my head and kissed her.
I wasn’t ready for her reaction.
The absolute melting.
The whole-body submission.
It woke every black creature inside me, and I launched off her.
Vaulting to my feet, I struggled to hold back the darkness.
Ily blinked at me from the floor. “Eh…where are you going?”
Grabbing her hand, I yanked her upright and held her hips as she swayed. With shaky fingers, I dragged my thumbs in those familiar little circles that I used to do under Victor’s nose. Every time I stroked her like this, it was our little secret. I’d hurt her and made her scream, all while tracing her in the softest worshipping way.
She shivered as she recognised the touch. She swooned into me. “Want to know what I call those little circles?”
“What?”
“Morse code. A language just for us.”
“It is a language just for us.” I bent my knees and kissed her deep. “We can speak to each other without words, mon cœur.”
“In that case.” She eyed me. Stop talking.
I laughed and stepped back. Your wish is my command.
It hurt to stop touching her. My body felt wrong to be apart. The monster snarled to grab her, maul her as my hands went to the hem of my beige cable knit jumper.
After what’d happened with Peter and the trials we’d all survived. After his joy at coming back to life. Of my own joy at earning a twin flame and brother. I had too many blessings not to enjoy every element of my life.
She trusted me.
Wanted me.
Unconditionally.
Every flaw, every fault and fumble and fuck-up.
She loves me.
Darkness would always be a part of our life. It’d scarred us right to our soul, but…in that darkness, we’d also found the missing piece of that soul.
I didn’t have to live a half-life.
I was both monster and human.
And she loves me.
Ripping off my jumper, I embraced the power I’d tasted when I played Ruby Tears. I let myself be free in who I was. My mouth watered to play.
“Get naked,” I commanded. “I want you bare in three seconds.”
Her smile lit up the fucking room.
Wrenching off her jacket, she kicked off her boots and socks. Her leggings were next, followed by her heavy blue cardigan, long sleeve tee, and bra. Trembling, she hooked her fingers in her knickers and pulled them down.
Raising her chin, she stood there like a goddess. Honey dark skin, full breasts, and a glittering blue H on her upper thigh.
Ripping my clothes off, I groaned as I fisted myself. Jerking my length, I drank her in. I studied every piece that I’d grown to know and love and shuddered as a lone tear shimmered on her cheek.
Marching into her, I grabbed her chin.
Her eyes flared with fire.
Familiar flames devoured us.
I dragged my tongue along her cheek catching that wonderous droplet.
I’d drank her grief, her fear, and her happiness.
But that tear? It was my favourite.
It burst with sparkling love on my tongue.
Undiluted delicious love.
I shivered to taste everything.
Her pleasure, her pain, her blood…
“You’re mine now.” I held her firm. “Do you agree?”
She shivered and nodded. “I am. Just like you’re mine.”
“I am. Every damn piece. Since the day I was born.”
Backing her toward the bed, I spun her around and cupped her breasts from behind. Her ass pressed against my cock as I bent her over the mattress and kicked her ankles apart.
She panted as I dove my hand between her legs. “Oh, God—”
“Moan my name, not His.” Inserting a single finger inside her, a guttural groan echoed around my heart as I found her wet and hot and eager. I shoved her straight into those flames crackling through my blood.
